“YAH! They look so good together… They are my favorite collab ever,” I exclaimed to myself, a foolish grin stretching across my face.
Then, the smile froze. Watching them hold hands, a cold fury began to build within me, choking off any attempt at composure. I clenched my jaw, forcing the rising tide of jealousy down.
“Okay… I said they *look* good together. But who gave them permission to hold hands? Just wait for Mr. Jeon Jungkook. You’ll get your punishment for making me jealous,” I muttered, the words laced with a venomous sweetness.
“You’re gonna be dead meat soon… I’ll chop you into pieces and feed your beloved dogs,” I laughed, the sound brittle and hollow as it echoed in the empty room. The fantasy felt good, even if it was only a little bit.
Their performance ended, and they were heading backstage when the MC stopped them.
“Jungkook-ssi… Why don’t you answer some of the questions everyone’s dying to ask?” The MC asked, and the crowd erupted in cheers as he handed Jungkook a microphone.
“Jungkook-ssi… We all know you have a girlfriend named Eva, whom we’ve never seen. But now we’ve seen you singing with IU-ssi while holding hands… Can you explain what’s going on? Because I don’t think the audience – or Eva-ssi – can understand,” the MC pressed, laying bare the obvious.
“Thank you so much… You’re the only one who considered my feelings,” I over-exaggerated, wiping imaginary tears with the back of my hand, then stifling a chuckle at my own theatrics.
Jungkook took a deep breath, his gaze dropping before lifting to meet the expectant crowd. “We broke up,” he said, three words that shattered my world, leaving me frozen in place. “I already broke up with her.” It sounded so casual, so utterly devoid of emotion.
“So you mean you and Eva-ssi are over? I’m sorry for asking about this… I didn’t know,” the MC said, his voice laced with sympathy.
“Why are you sorry? It’s not your fault,” Jungkook replied, a faint smile playing on his lips.
“Since you two are holding hands, does that mean you’re…?” The MC trailed off, hesitant. Jungkook answered bluntly. “Yes. What you’re thinking is right. I like IU noona a lot, and we’re together.”
I’d been smirking, trying to mask the pain, but it was a losing battle. The facade cracked. I threw the TV remote, aiming for the screen. The impact sent shards of glass exploding across the room, mirroring the splintering of my own heart.
“AHHHH… WHY ME?! WHY?! WHY?!” I screamed, tears streaming down my face. Meanwhile, backstage, Jungkook felt the icy glares of his teammates. He’d decided to say nothing, to endure the silent disapproval for the sake of appearances. They didn’t know about the breakup yet, and their anger was palpable.
Hoseok whispered in Namjoon’s ear, “I’m really worried about Eva…”
“Me too… She’s still a kid to handle a breakup like this. It’s just cheating… like he was waiting to break with her.” They glared at Jungkook, their rudeness intensified by his smug smile.
“I can’t reach Eva… She’s not picking up. I’m worried sick,” Jin whisper-yelled, his voice trembling with anxiety.
After the awards show, BTS headed straight to their dorm. The ride was silent, suffocatingly so. Jungkook was heading for his room when Taehyung charged towards him, grabbed his arm, and punched him hard in the face, then gripped his collar.
“HOW DARE YOU?! HOW COULD YOU, JEON JUNGKOOK?! HUH?!” Taehyung roared. Jungkook shoved him away, a cold smirk twisting his lips.
“Why are you so upset? Aren’t you happy we broke up? Now you have a chance to make her yours. You like her… Am I right? You’ve always hung around her when I should have had her all to myself. Right now, more than anyone, *you* should be the happiest person on earth!”
Meanwhile, I didn’t know what I’d done wrong, why he’d broken up with me so suddenly. It was too much to process, too much for my fragile emotions to bear. “It hurts… It hurts so much. Why me? What did I do wrong? How could he do this to me? I loved him so much,” I repeated, the questions looping endlessly in my mind.
The pain was worse than any physical wound. It was a heartbreak, the first and deepest cut of all. My first love had discarded me as if I were nothing.
I curled up in a ball on my bed, tears streaming down my face, as my phone vibrated with a relentless barrage of calls and messages. BTS members were spamming me, especially Yoongi. He was like an elder brother, and I knew they were all worried.
I decided to send a message.
Text: “OMG… So many calls and messages… But don’t worry guys… I’m fine ????????????. I just want to be alone for some time. Goodnight… Don’t stress yourself over me????????????.”
I sent it to everyone except Jungkook and switched my phone to airplane mode, knowing they wouldn’t stop until I did. I calmed down a bit and lay flat on my bed, my cheeks still wet with tears.
I opened my phone gallery and noticed I had more photos of Jungkook than of myself. I scrolled through them, the same question gnawing at my heart.
I opened our conversation log and read through his messages, each one a cruel mockery of my present pain. “His words felt so real all the time… LIAR… LIAR!” I screamed, and the floodgates opened, unleashing a torrent of grief.