Call for Mr. Keefe!
Friend Al: Well Al the training trips over and we open up the season here tomorrow and I suppose the boys back home is all anxious to know about our chances and what shape the boys is in. Well old pal you can tell them we are out after that old flag this year and the club that beats us will know they have been in a battle. I’ll say they will.
Speaking for myself personly I never felt better in my life and you know what that means Al. It means I will make a monkey out of this league and not only that but the boys will all have more confidence in themself and play better baseball when they know my arms right and that I can give them the best I got and if Rowland handles the club right and don’t play no favorites like last season we will be so far out in front by the middle of July that Boston and the rest of them will think we have jumped to some other league.
Well I suppose the old towns all excited about Uncle Sam declairing war on Germany. Personly I am glad we are in it but between you and I Al I figure we ought to of been in it a long time ago right after the Louisiana was sank. I often say alls fair in love and war but that don’t mean the Germans or no one else has got a right to murder American citizens but thats about all you can expect from a German and anybody that expects a square deal from them is a sucker. You don’t see none of them umpireing in our league but at that they couldn’t be no worse than the ones we got. Some of ours is so crooked they can’t lay in a birth only when the trains making a curve.
But speaking about the war Al you couldn’t keep me out of it only for Florrie and little Al depending on me for sport and of course theys the ball club to and I would feel like a trader if I quit them now when it looks like this is our year. So I might just as well make up my mind to whats got to be and not mop over it but I like to kid the rest of the boys and make them think I’m going to enlist to see their face fall and tonight at supper I told Gleason I thought I would quit the club and join the army. He tried to laugh it off with some of his funny stuff. He says “They wouldn’t take you.” “No,” I said. “I suppose Uncle Sam is turning down men with a perfect physic.” So he says “They don’t want a man that if a shell would hit him in the head it would explode all over the trench and raise havioc.” I forget what I said back to him.
Well Al I don’t know if I will pitch in this serious or not but if I do I will give them a touch of high life but maybe Rowland will save me to open up at Detroit where a mans got to have something besides their glove. It takes more than camel flags to beat that bunch. I’ll say it does.
Friend Al: Well Al here I am home again and Rowland sent some of us home from St. Louis instead of takeing us along to Detroit and I suppose he is figureing on saveing me to open up the home season next Thursday against St. Louis because they always want a big crowd on opening day and St. Louis don’t draw very good unless theys some extra attraction to bring the crowd out. But anyway I was glad to get home and see Florrie and little Al and honest Al he is cuter than ever and when he seen me he says “Who are you?” Hows that for a 3 year old?
Well things has been going along pretty good at home while I was away only it will take me all summer to pay the bills Florrie has ran up on me and you ought to be thankfull that Bertha aint 1 of these Apollos thats got to keep everybody looking at them or they can’t eat. Honest Al to look at the clothes Florrie has boughten you would think we was planning to spend the summer at Newport News or somewhere. And she went and got herself a hired girl that sticks us for $8.00 per week and all as she does is cook up the meals and take care of little Al and run wild with a carpet sweeper and dust rag every time you set down to read the paper. I says to Florrie “What is the idea? The 3 of us use to get along OK without no help from Norway.” So she says “I got sick in tired of staying home all the time or dragging the baby along with me when I went out.” So I said I remembered when she wouldn’t leave no one else take care of the kid only herself and she says “Yes but that was when I didn’t know nothing about babys and every time he cried I thought he had lumbago or something but now I know he has got no intentions of dying so I quit worring about him.”
So I said “Yes but I can’t afford no high price servants to say nothing about dressing you like an actor and if you think I am going to spend all my salary on silks and satans and etc. you will get a big supprise.” So she says “You might as well spend your money on me as leave the ball players take it away from you in the poker game and show their own wives a good time with it. But if you don’t want me to spend your money I will go out and get some of my own to spend.” Then I said “What will you do teach school?” And she says “No and I won’t teach school either.” So I said “No I guess you won’t. But if you think you want to try standing up behind a cigar counter or something all day why go ahead and try it and we’ll see how long you will last.” So she says “I don’t have to stand behind no counter but I can go in business for myself and make more then you do.” So I said “Yes you can” and she didn’t have no come back.
Imagine Al a girl saying she could make more money then a big league pitcher. Probably theys a few of them that does but they are movie actors or something and I would like to see Florrie try to be a movie actor because they got to look pleasant all the time and Florrie would strain herself.
Well Al the ski jumper has got dinner pretty near ready and after dinner I am going over North and see what the Cubs look like and I wish I pitched in that league Al and the only trouble is that I would feel ashamed when I went after my pay check.
Dear Friend Al: Well old pal if we wasn’t married we would all have to go to war now and I mean all of us thats between 21 and 30. I suppose you seen about the Govt. passing the draft law and a whole lot of the baseball players will have to go but our club won’t loose nobody except 1 or 2 bushers that don’t count because all as they do any way is take up room on the bench and laugh when Rowland springs a joke.
When I first seen it in the paper this morning I thought it meant everybody that wasn’t crippled up or something but Gleason explained it to me that if you got somebody to sport they leave you home and thats fair enough but he also says they won’t take no lefthanders on acct. of the guns all being made for right handed men and thats just like the lucky stiffs to set in a rocking chair and take it easy while the regular fellows has got to go over there and get shot up but anyway the yellow stiffs would make a fine lot of soldiers because the first time a German looked X eyed at them they would wave a flag of truants.
But I can’t help from wishing this thing had of come off before I seen Florrie or little Al and if I had money enough saved up so as they wouldn’t have to worry I would go any way but I wouldn’t wait for no draft. Gleason says I will have to register family or no family when the time comes but as soon as I tell them about Florrie they will give me an excuse. I asked him what they would do with the boys that wasn’t excused and if they would send them right over to France and he says No they would keep them here till they learned to talk German. He says “You can’t fight nobody without a quarrel and you can’t quarrel with a man unless they can understand what you are calling them.” So I asked him how about the aviators because their machines would be makeing so much noise that they couldn’t tell if the other one was talking German or rag time and he said “Well if you are in an areoplane and you see a German areoplane coming tords you you can pretty near guess that he don’t want to spoon with you.”
Thats what I would like to be Al is an aviator and I think Gleasons afraid I’m going to bust into that end of the game though he pretends like he don’t take me in ernest. “Why don’t you?” he said “You could make good there all right because the less sense they got the better. But I wish you would quit practiceing till you get away from here.” I asked him what he meant quit practiceing. “Well” he said “you was up in the air all last Tuesday afternoon.”
He was refering to that game I worked against the Phila. club but honest Al my old souper was so sore I couldn’t cut loose. Well Al a mans got a fine chance to save money when they are married to a girl like Florrie. When I got paid Tuesday the first thing when I come home she wanted to borrow $200.00 and that was all I had comeing so I said “What am I going to do the next 2 weeks walk back and forth to the ball park and back?” I said “What and the hell do you want with $200.00?” So then she begin to cry so I split it with her and give her a $100.00 and she wouldn’t tell me what she wanted it for but she says she was going to supprise me. Well Al I will be supprised if she don’t land us all out to the county farm but you can’t do nothing with them when they cry.
Friend Al: What do you think Florrie has pulled off now? I told you she was fixing to land us in the poor house and I had the right dope. With the money I give her and some she got somewheres else she has opened up a beauty parlor on 43th St. right off of Michigan. Her and a girl that worked in a place like it down town.
Well Al when she sprung it on me you couldn’t of knocked me down with a feather. I always figured girls was kind of crazy but I never seen one loose her mind as quick as that and I don’t know if I ought to have them take her to some home or leave her learn her lesson and get over it.
I know you ain’t got no beauty parlor in Bedford so I might as well tell you what they are. They are for women only and the women goes to them when they need something done to their hair or their face or their nails before a wedding or a eucher party or something. For inst. you and Bertha was up here and you wanted to take her to a show and she would have to get fixed up so she would go to this place and tell them to give her the whole treatment and first they would wash the grime out of her hair and then comb it up fluffy and then they would clean up her complexion with buttermilk and either get rid of the moles or else paint them white and then they would put some eyebrows on her with a pencil and red up her lips and polish her teeth and pair her finger nails and etc. till she looked as good as she could and it would cost her $5.00 or $10.00 according to what they do to her and if they would give her a bath and a massage I suppose its extra.
Well theys plenty of high class beauty parlors down town where women can go and know they will get good service but Florrie thinks she can make it pay out here with women that maybe haven’t time to go clear down town because their husband or their friend might loose his mind in the middle of the afternoon and phone home that he had tickets for the Majestic or something and then of course they would have to rush over to some place in the neighborhood for repairs.
I didn’t know Florrie was wise to the game but it seems she has been takeing some lessons down town without telling me nothing about it and this Miss Nevins thats in partners with her says Florrie is a darb. Well I wouldn’t have no objections if I thought they was a chance for them to make good because she acts like she liked the work and its right close to where we live but it looks to me like their expenses would eat them up. I was in the joint this morning and the different smells alone must of cost them $100.00 to say nothing about all the bottles and cans and tools and brushs and the rent and furniture besides. I told Florrie I said “You got everything here but patients.” She says “Don’t worry about them. They will come when they find out about us.” She says they have sent their cards to all the South Side 400.
“Well” I said “if they don’t none of them show up in a couple of months I suppose you will call on the old meal ticket.” So she says “You should worry.” So I come away and went over to the ball park.
When I seen Kid Gleason I told him about it and he asked me where Florrie got the money to start up so I told him I give it to her. “You” he says “Where did you get it?” So just jokeing I said “Where do you suppose I got it? I stole it.” So he says “You did if you got it from this ball club.” But he was kidding Al because of course he knows I’m no thief. But I got the laugh on him this afternoon when Silk O’Loughlin chased him out of the ball park. Johnson was working against us and they was two out and Collins on second base and Silk called a third strike on Gandil that was down by his corns. So Gleason hollered “All right Silk you won’t have to go to war. You couldn’t pass the eye test.” So Silk told him to get off the field. So then I hollered something at Silk and he hollered back at me “That will be all from you you big busher.” So I said “You are a busher yourself you busher.” So he said:
“Get off the bench and let one of the ball players set down.”
So I and Gleason stalled a while and finely come into the club house and I said “Well Kid I guess we told him something that time.” “Yes” says Gleason “you certainly burned him up but the trouble with me is I can’t never think of nothing to say till it’s too late.” So I said “When a man gets past sixty you can’t expect their brain to act quick.” And he didn’t say nothing back.
Well we win the ball game any way because Cicotte shut them out. The way some of the ball players was patting him on the back afterwards you would have thought it was the 1st time anybody had ever pitched a shut out against the Washington club but I don’t see no reason to swell a man up over it. If you shut out Detroit or Cleveland you are doing something but this here Washington club gets a bonus every time they score a run.
But it does look like we was going to cop that old flag and play the Giants for the big dough and it will sure be the Giants we will have to play against though some of the boys seem to think the Cubs have got a chance on acct. of them just winning 10 straight on their eastren trip but as Gleason says how can a club help from winning 10 straight in that league?
Friend Al: Well Al the clubs east and Rowland left me home because my old souper is sore again and besides I had to register yesterday for the draft. They was a big crowd down to the place we registered and you ought to seen them when I come in. They was all trying to get up close to me and I was afraid some of them would get hurt in the jam. All of them says “Hello Jack” and I give them a smile and shook hands with about a dozen of them. A man hates to have everybody stareing at you but you got to be pleasant or they will think you are swelled up and besides a man can afford to put themself out a little if its going to give the boys any pleasure.
I don’t know how they done with you Al but up here they give us a card to fill out and then they give us another one to carry around with us to show that we been registered and what our number is. I had to put down my name on the first card and my age and where I live and the day I was born and what month and etc. Some of the questions was crazy like “Was I a natural born citizen?” I wonder what they think I am. Maybe they think I fell out of a tree or something. Then I had to tell them I was born in Bedford, Ind. and it asked what I done for a liveing and I put down that I was a pitcher but the man made me change it to ball player and then I had to give Comiskey’s name and address and then name the people that was dependent on me so I put down a wife and one child.
And the next question was if I was married or single. I supposed they would know enough to know that a man with a wife dependent on him was probably married. Then it says what race and I had a notion to put down “pennant” for a joke but the man says to put down white. Then it asked what military service had I had and of course I says none and then come the last question Did I claim exemption and what grounds so the man told me to write down married with dependents.
Then the man turned over to the back of the card and wrote down about my looks. Just that I was tall and medium build and brown eyes and brown hair. And the last question was if I had lost an arm or leg or hand or foot or both eyes or was I other wise disabled so I told him about my arm being sore and thats why I wasn’t east with the club but he didn’t put it down. So thats all they was to it except the card he give me with my number which is 3,403.
It looks to me like it was waisting a mans time to make you go down there and wait for your turn when they know you are married and got a kid or if they don’t know it they could call up your home or the ball park and find it out but of course if they called up my flat when I or Florrie wasn’t there they wouldn’t get nothing but a bunch of Swede talk that they couldn’t nobody understand and I don’t believe the girl knows herself what she is talking about over the phone. She can talk english pretty good when shes just talking to you but she must think all the phone calls is long distance from Norway because the minute she gets that reciever up to her ear you can’t hardly tell the difference between she and Hughey Jennings on the coaching line.
I told Florrie I said “This girl could make more then $8.00 per week if she would get a job out to some ball park as announcer and announce the batterys and etc. She has got the voice for it and she would be right in a class with the rest of them because nobody could make heads or tales out of what she was trying to get at.”
Speaking about Florrie what do you think Al? They have had enough suckers to pay expenses and also pay up some of the money they borrowed and Florrie says if their business gets much bigger they will have to hire more help. How would you like a job Al white washing some dames nose or levelling off their face with a steam roller? Of course I am just jokeing Al because they won’t allow no men around the joint but wouldn’t it be some job Al? I’ll say so.
Dear Al: Well Al I suppose you read in the paper the kind of luck I had yesterday but of course you can’t tell nothing from what them dam reporters write and if they know how to play ball why aint they playing it instead of trying to write funny stuff about the ball game but at that some of it is funny Al because its so rotten its good. For inst. one of them had it in the paper this morning that I flied out to Speaker in that seventh inning. Well listen Al I hit that ball right on the pick and it went past that shortstop so fast that he didn’t even have time to wave at it and if Speaker had of been playing where he belongs that ball would of went between he and Graney and bumped against the wall. But no. Speakers laying about ten feet back of second base and over to the left and of course the ball rides right to him and there was the whole ball game because that would of drove in 2 runs and made them play different then they did in the eigth. If a man is supposed to be playing center field why don’t he play center field and of course I thought he was where he ought to been or I would of swung different.
Well the eigth opened up with the score 1 and 1 and I get 2 of them out but I got so much stuff I can’t stick it just where I want to and I give Chapman a base on balls. At that the last one cut the heart of the plate but Evans called it a ball. Evans lives in Cleveland. Well I said “All right Bill you won’t have to go to war. You couldn’t pass the eye test.” So he says “You must of read that one in a book.” “No” I said “I didn’t read it in no book either.”
So up comes this Speaker and I says “What do you think you are going to do you lucky stiff?” So he says “I’m going to hit one where theys nobody standing in the way of it.” I said “Yes you are.” But I had to hold Chapman up at first base and Schalk made me waist 2 thinking Chapman was going and then of course I had to ease up and Speaker cracked one down the first base line but Gandil got his glove on it and if he hadn’t of messed it all up he could of beat Speaker to the bag himself but instead of that they all started to ball me out for not covering. I told them to shut their mouth. Then Roth come up and I took a half wind up because of course I didn’t think Chapman would be enough of a bone head to steal third with 2 out but him and Speaker pulled a double steal and then Rowland and all of them begin to yell at me and they got my mind off of what I was doing and then Schalk asked for a fast one though he said afterwards he didn’t but I would of made him let me curve the ball if they hadn’t got me all nervous yelling at me. So Roth hit one to left field that Jackson could of caught in his hip pocket if he had been playing right. So 2 runs come in and then Rowland takes me out and I would of busted him only for makeing a seen on the field.
I said to him “How can you expect a man to be at his best when I have not worked for a month?” So he said “Well it will be more than a month before you will work for me again.” “Yes” I said “because I am going to work for Uncle Sam and join the army.” “Well,” he says “you won’t need no steel helmet.” “No” I said “and you wouldn’t either.” Then he says “I’m afraid you won’t last long over there because the first time they give you a hand grenade to throw you will take your wind up and loose a hand.” So I said “If Chapman is a smart ball player why and the hell did he steal third base with 2 out?” He couldn’t answer that but he says “What was you doing all alone out in No Mans Land on that ball of Speakers to Gandil?” So I told him to shut up and I went in the club house and when he come in I didn’t speak to him or to none of the rest of them either.
Well Al I would quit right now and go up to Fort Sheridan and try for a captain only for Florrie and little Al and of course if it come to a show down Comiskey would ask me to stick on acct. of the club being in the race and it wouldn’t be the square thing for me to walk out on him when he has got his heart set on the pennant.
Friend Al: Just a few lines Al to tell you how Florrie is getting along and I bet you will be surprised to hear about it. Well Al she paid me back my $100.00 day before yesterday and she showed me their figures for the month of June and I don’t know if you will beleive it or not but she and Miss Nevins cleared $400.00 for the month or $200.00 a peace over and above all expenses and she says the business will be even better in the fall and winter time on acct. of more people going to partys and theaters then. How is that for the kind of a wife to have Al and the best part of it is that she is stuck on the work and a whole lot happier then when she wasn’t doing nothing. They got 2 girls working besides themself and they are talking about moveing into a bigger store somewheres and she says we will have to find a bigger flat so as we can have a nurse and a hired girl instead of just the one.
Tell Bertha about it Al and tell her that when she comes up to Chi she can get all prettied up and I will see they don’t charge her nothing for it.
The clubs over in Detroit but it was only a 5 day trip so Rowland left me home to rest up my arm for the eastren clubs and Phila. is due here the day after tomorrow and all as I ask is a chance at them. My arm don’t feel just exactly right but I could roll the ball up to the plate and beat that club.
Its a cinch now that the Giants is comeing through in the other league and if we can keep going it will be some worlds serious between the 2 biggest towns in the country and the club that wins ought to grab off about $4,500.00 a peace per man. Is that worth going after Al? I’ll say so.
Friend Al: Well Al I don’t suppose you remember my draft number and I don’t remember if I told it to you or not. It was 3,403 Al. And it was the 5th number drawed at Washington.
Well old pal they can wipe the town of Washington off of the map and you won’t hear no holler from me. The day before yesterday Rowland sends me in against the Washington club and of course it had to be Johnson for them. And I get beat 3 and 2 and I guess its the only time this season that Washington scored 3 runs in 1 day. And the next thing they announce the way the draft come out and I’m No. 5 and its a misery to me why my number wasn’t the 1st they drawed out instead of the 5th.
Well Al of course it don’t mean I got to go if I don’t want to. I can get out of it easy enough by telling them about Florrie and little Al and besides Gleason says they have promised Ban Johnson that they won’t take no baseball stars till the seasons over and maybe not then and besides theys probably some White Sox fans that will go to the front for me and get me off on acct. of the club being in the fight for the pennant and they can’t nobody say I’m trying to get excused because I said all season that I would go in a minute if it wasn’t for my family and the club being in the race and I give $50.00 last week for a liberty bond that will only bring me in $1.75 per annum which is nothing you might say. You couldn’t sport a flee on $1.75 per annum.
Florrie wanted I should go right down to the City Hall or where ever it is you go and get myself excused but Gleason says the only thing to do is just wait till they call me and then claim exemptions. I read somewheres a while ago that President Wilson wanted baseball kept up because the people would need amusement and I asked Gleason if he had read about that and he says “Yes but that won’t get you nothing because the rest of the soldiers will need amusement even more then the people.”
Well Al I don’t know what your number was or how you come out but I hope you had better luck but if you did get drawed you will probably have a hard time getting out of it because you don’t make no big salary and you got no children and Bertha could live with your mother and pick up a few dollars sowing. Enough to pay for her board and clothes. Of course they might excuse you for flat feet which they say you can’t get in if you have them. But if I was you Al I would be tickled to death to get in because it would give you a chance to see something outside of Bedford and if your feet gets by you ought to be OK
I guess they won’t find fault with my feet or anything about me as far as physical goes. Hey Al?
I will write as soon as I learn anything.
Friend Al: Well Al I got notice last Friday that I was to show up right away over to Wendell Phillips high school where No. 5 board of exemptions was setting but when I got over there it was jamed so I went back there today and I have just come home from there now.
The 1st man I seen was the doctor and he took my name and number and then he asked me if my health was OK and I told him it was only I don’t feel good after meals. Then he asked me if I was all sound and well right now so I told him my pitching arm was awful lame and that was the reason I hadn’t went east with the club. Then he says “Do you understand that if a man don’t tell the truth about themself here they are libel to prison?” So I said he didn’t have to worry about that.
So then he made me strip bear and I wish you had seen his eyes pop out when he got a look at my shoulders and chest. I stepped on the scales and tipped the bean at 194 and he measured me at 6 ft. 1 and a half. Then he went all over me and poked me with his finger and counted my teeth and finely he made me tell him what different letters was that he held up like I didn’t know the alphabet or something. So when he was through he says “Well I guess you ain’t going to die right away.” He signed the paper and sent me to the room where the rest of the board was setting.
Well 1 of them looked up my number and then asked me did I claim exemptions. I told him yes and he asked me what grounds so I said “I sport a wife and baby and besides I don’t feel like it would be a square deal to Comiskey for me to walk out on him now.” So he says “Have you got an affidavit from your wife that you sport her?” So I told him no and he says “Go and get one and bring it back here tomorrow but you don’t need to bring none from Comiskey.” So you see Comiskey must stand pretty good with them.
So he give me a blank for Florrie to fill out and when she gets home we will go to a notary and tend to it and tomorrow they will fix up my excuse and then I won’t have nothing to think about only to get the old souper in shape for the big finish.
Dear Old Pal: Well old pal it would seem like the best way to get along in this world is to not try and get nowheres because the minute a man gets somewheres they’s people that can’t hardly wait to bite your back.
The 1st thing yesterday I went over to No. 5 board and was going to show them Florrie’s affidavit but while I was pulling it out of my pocket the man I seen the day before called me over to 1 side and says “Listen Keefe I am a White Sox fan and don’t want to see you get none the worst of it and if I was you I would keep a hold of that paper.” So I asked him what for and he says “Do you know what the law is about telling the truth and not telling the truth and if you turn in an affidavit thats false and we find it out you and who ever made the affidavit is both libel to prison?” So I said what was he trying to get at and he says “We got informations that your wife is in business for herself and makeing as high as $250.00 per month which is plenty for she and your boy to get along on.” “Yes” I said “but who pays for the rent of our flat and the hired girl and what we eat?” So he says “That don’t make no difference. Your wife could pay for them and that settles it.”
Well Al I didn’t know what to say for a minute but finely I asked him where the informations come from and he says he was tipped off in a letter that who ever wrote it didn’t sign their name the sneaks and I asked him how he knowed that they was telling the truth. So he says “Its our business to look them things up. If I was you I wouldn’t make no claim for exemptions but just lay quiet and take a chance.”
Then all of a sudden I had an idea Al and I will tell you about it but 1st as soon as it come to me I asked the man if this here board was all the board they was and he says no that if they would not excuse me I could appeal to the Dist. board but if he was me he wouldn’t do it because it wouldn’t do no good and might get me in trouble. So I said “I won’t get in no trouble” and he says “All right suit yourself.” So I said I would take the affidavit and go to the Dist. board but he says no that I would have to get passed on 1st by his board and then I could appeal if I wanted to.
So I left the affidavit and he says they would notify me how I come out so then I beat it home and called up Florrie and told her they was something important and for her to come up to the flat.
Well Al here was the idea. I had been thinking for a long time that while it was all OK for Florrie to earn a little money in the summer when I was tied up with the club it would be a whole lot better if we was both free after the season so as we could take little Al and go on a trip somewheres or maybe spend the winter in the south but of course if she kept a hold of her share in the business she couldn’t get away so the best thing would be to sell out to Miss Nevins for a good peace of money and we could maybe buy us a winter home somewheres with what she got and whats comeing to me in the worlds serious.
So when Florrie got home I put it up to her. I said “Florrie I’m sick in tired of haveing you tied up in business because it don’t seem right for a married woman to be in business when their husbands in the big league and besides a womans place is home especially when they got a baby so I want you to sell out and when I get my split of the worlds serious we will go south somewheres and buy a home.”
Well she asked me how did I come out with the affidavit. So I said “The affidavit is either here nor there. I am talking about something else” and she says “Yes you are.” And she says “I been worring all day about that affidavit because if they find out about it what will they do to us.” So I said “You should worry because if this board won’t excuse me I will go to the Dist. board and mean while you won’t be earning nothing because you will be out of business.” Well Al she had a better idea then that. She says “No I will hold on to the business till you go to the Dist. board and then if they act like they wouldn’t excuse you you can tell them I am going to sell out. And if they say all right I will sell out. But if they say its to late why then I will still have something to live on if you have to go.”
So when she said that about me haveing to go we both choked up a little but pretty soon I was OK and now Al it looks like a cinch I would get my exemptions from the Dist. board because if Florrie says she wants to sell out they can’t stop her.
Friend Al: Well Al its all over. The Dist. board won’t let me off and between you and I Al I am glad of it and I only hope I won’t have to go before I have had a chance at the worlds serious.
My case come up about noon. One of the men asked me my name and then looked over what they had wrote down about me. Then he says “Theys an affidavit here that says your wife and child depends on you. Is that true?” So I said yes it was and he asked me if my wife was in business and I said yes but she was thinking about selling out. So he asked me how much money she made in her business. I said “You can’t never tell. Some times its so much and other times different.” So he asked me what the average was and I said it was about $250.00 per month. Then he says “Why is she going to sell out?” I said “Because we don’t want to live in Chi all winter” and he said “You needn’t to worry.” Then he said “If she makes $250.00 per month how do you figure she is dependent on you?” So I said “Because she is because I pay for the rent and everything.” And he asked me what she done with the $250.00 and I told him she spent it on clothes.
So he says “$250.00 per month on clothes. How does she keep warm this weather?” I said “I guess they don’t nobody have no trouble keeping warm in August.” Then he says “Look here Keefe this affidavit mitigates against you. We will have to turn down your appeal and I guess your wife can take care of herself and the boy.” I said “She can’t when she sells out.” “Well” he said “you tell her not to sell out. It may be hard for her at first to sport herself and the boy on $250.00 but if the worst comes to the worst she can wear the same shoes twice and she will find them a whole lot more comfortable the second time.” So I said “She don’t never have no trouble with her feet and if she did I guess she knows how to fix them.”
Florrie was waiting for me when I got home. “Well” I said “now you see what your dam beauty parlor has done for us.” And then she seen what had happened and begin to cry and of course I couldn’t find no more fault with her and I called up the ball park and told them I was sick and wouldn’t show up this p.m. and I and Florrie and little Al stayed home together and talked. That is little Al done all the talking. I and Florrie didn’t seem to have nothing to say.
Tomorrow I am going to tell them about it over to the ball park. If they can get me off till after the worlds serious all right. And if they can’t all right to.
Dear Al: Well Al the one that laughs last gets all the best of it. Wait till you hear what come off today.
When I come in the club house Rowland and Gleason was there all alone. I told them hello and was going to spring the news on them but when Rowland seen me he says “Jack I got some bad news for you.” So I said what was it. So he says “The boss sold you to Washington this morning.”
Well Al at first I couldn’t say nothing and I forgot all about that I wanted to tell them. But then I remembered it again and here is what I pulled. I said “Listen Manager I beat the boss to it.” “What do you mean?” he said so I said “I’m signed up with Washington all ready only I aint signed with Griffith but with Uncle Sam.” Thats what I pulled on them Al and they both got it right away. Gleason jumped up and shook hands with me and so did Rowland and then Rowland said he would have to hurry up in the office and tell the Old Man. “But wait a minute” I said. “I am going to quit you after this game because I don’t know when I will be called and theys lots of things I got to fix up.” So I stopped and Rowland asked me what I wanted and I said “Let me pitch this game and I will give them the beating of their life.”
So him and Gleason looked at each other and then Rowland says “You know we can’t afford to loose no ball games now. But if you think you can beat them I will start you.”
So then he blowed and I and Gleason was alone.
“Well kid” he says “you make the rest of us look like a monkey. This game ain’t nothing compared to what you are going to do. And when you come back they won’t be nothing to good for you and your kid will be proud of you because you went while a whole lot of other kids dads stayed home.”
So he patted me on the back and I kind of choked up and then the trainer come in and I had him do a little work on my arm.
Well Al you will see in the paper what I done to them. Before the game the boss had told Griffith about me and called the deal off. So while I was warming up Griffith come over and shook hands. He says “I would of like to had you but I am a good looser.” So I says “You ought to be.” So he couldn’t help from laughing but he says “When you come back I will go after you again.” I said “Well if you don’t get somebody on the club between now and then that can hit something besides fouls I won’t come back.” So he kind of laughed again and walked away and then it was time for the game.
Well Al the official scorer give them 3 hits but he must be McMullins brother in law or something because McMullin ought to of throwed Milan out from here to Berlin on that bunt. But any way 3 hits and no runs is pretty good for a finish and between you and I Al I feel like I got the last laugh on Washington and Rowland to.
Friend Al: Just time for a few lines while Florrie finishs packing up my stuff. I leave with the bunch tomorrow a.m. for Camp Grant at Rockford. I don’t know how long we will stay there but I suppose long enough to learn to talk German and shoot and etc.
We just put little Al to bed and tonight was the first time we told him I was going to war. He says “Can I go to daddy?” Hows that for a 3 year old Al?
Well he will be proud of me when I come back and he will be proud of me if I don’t come back and when he gets older he can go up to the kids that belong to some of these left handers and say “Where and the hell was your father when the war come off?”
Good by Al and say good by to Bertha for me.