Satire on the Heads of Houses + 

Or, Never a Barrel the Better Herring + 

O Cambridge, attend + 

To the Satire I’ve penned + 

On the Heads of thy Houses, + 

Thou Seat of the Muses! + 

Know the Master of Jesus + 

Does hugely displease us; + 

The Master of Maudlin + 

In the same dirt is dawdling; + 

The Master of Sidney + 

Is of the same kidney; + 

The Master of Trinity + 

To him bears affinity; + 

As the Master of Keys + 

Is as like as two peas, + 

So the Master of Queen’s + 

Is as like as two beans; + 

The Master of King’s + 

Copies them in all things; + 

The Master of Catherine + 

Takes them all for his pattern; + 

The Master of Clare + 

Hits them all to a hair; + 

The Master of Christ + 

By the rest is enticed; + 

But the Master of Emmanuel + 

Follows them like a spaniel; + 

The Master of Benet + 

Is of the like tenet; + 

The Master of Pembroke + 

Has from them his system took; + 

The Master of Peter’s + 

Has all the same features; + 

The Master of St. John’s + 

Like the rest of the Dons. + 

As to Trinity Hall + 

We say nothing at all. + 