VII
It spoke much for the depth of Mrs.┬аTrenorтАЩs friendship that her voice, in admonishing Miss Bart, took the same note of personal despair as if she had been lamenting the collapse of a house-party.
тАЬAll I can say is, Lily, that I canтАЩt make you out!тАЭ She leaned back, sighing, in the morning abandon of lace and muslin, turning an indifferent shoulder to the heaped-up importunities of her desk, while she considered, with the eye of a physician who has given up the case, the erect exterior of the patient confronting her.
тАЬIf you hadnтАЩt told me you were going in for him seriouslyтБатАФbut IтАЩm sure you made that plain enough from the beginning! Why else did you ask me to let you off bridge, and to keep away Carry and Kate Corby? I donтАЩt suppose you did it because he amused you; we could none of us imagine your putting up with him for a moment unless you meant to marry him. And IтАЩm sure everybody played fair! They all wanted to help it along. Even Bertha kept her hands offтБатАФI will say thatтБатАФtill Lawrence came down and you dragged him away from her. After that she had a right to retaliateтБатАФwhy on earth did you interfere with her? YouтАЩve known Lawrence Selden for yearsтБатАФwhy did you behave as if you had just discovered him? If you had a grudge against Bertha it was a stupid time to show itтБатАФyou could have paid her back just as well after you were married! I told you Bertha was dangerous. She was in an odious mood when she came here, but LawrenceтАЩs turning up put her in a good humour, and if youтАЩd only let her think he came for her it would have never occurred to her to play you this trick. Oh, Lily, youтАЩll never do anything if youтАЩre not serious!тАЭ
Miss Bart accepted this exhortation in a spirit of the purest impartiality. Why should she have been angry? It was the voice of her own conscience which spoke to her through Mrs.┬аTrenorтАЩs reproachful accents. But even to her own conscience she must trump up a semblance of defence.
тАЬI only took a day offтБатАФI thought he meant to stay on all this week, and I knew Mr.┬аSelden was leaving this morning.тАЭ
Mrs.┬аTrenor brushed aside the plea with a gesture which laid bare its weakness.
тАЬHe did mean to stayтБатАФthatтАЩs the worst of it. It shows that heтАЩs run away from you; that BerthaтАЩs done her work and poisoned him thoroughly.тАЭ
Lily gave a slight laugh. тАЬOh, if heтАЩs running IтАЩll overtake him!тАЭ
Her friend threw out an arresting hand. тАЬWhatever you do, Lily, do nothing!тАЭ
Miss Bart received the warning with a smile. тАЬI donтАЩt mean, literally, to take the next train. There are waysтБатАФтАЭ But she did not go on to specify them.
Mrs.┬аTrenor sharply corrected the tense. тАЬThere were waysтБатАФplenty of them! I didnтАЩt suppose you needed to have them pointed out. But donтАЩt deceive yourselfтБатАФheтАЩs thoroughly frightened. He has run straight home to his mother, and sheтАЩll protect him!тАЭ
тАЬOh, to the death,тАЭ Lily agreed, dimpling at the vision.
тАЬHow you can laughтБатАФтАЭ her friend rebuked her; and she dropped back to a soberer perception of things with the question: тАЬWhat was it Bertha really told him?тАЭ
тАЬDonтАЩt ask meтБатАФhorrors! She seemed to have raked up everything. Oh, you know what I meanтБатАФof course there isnтАЩt anything, really; but I suppose she brought in Prince VariglianoтБатАФand Lord HubertтБатАФand there was some story of your having borrowed money of old Ned Van Alstyne: did you ever?тАЭ
тАЬHe is my fatherтАЩs cousin,тАЭ Miss Bart interposed.
тАЬWell, of course she left that out. It seems Ned told Carry Fisher; and she told Bertha, naturally. TheyтАЩre all alike, you know: they hold their tongues for years, and you think youтАЩre safe, but when their opportunity comes they remember everything.тАЭ
Lily had grown pale: her voice had a harsh note in it. тАЬIt was some money I lost at bridge at the Van OsburghsтАЩ. I repaid it, of course.тАЭ
тАЬAh, well, they wouldnтАЩt remember that; besides, it was the idea of the gambling debt that frightened Percy. Oh, Bertha knew her manтБатАФshe knew just what to tell him!тАЭ
In this strain Mrs.┬аTrenor continued for nearly an hour to admonish her friend. Miss Bart listened with admirable equanimity. Her naturally good temper had been disciplined by years of enforced compliance, since she had almost always had to attain her ends by the circuitous path of other peopleтАЩs; and, being naturally inclined to face unpleasant facts as soon as they presented themselves, she was not sorry to hear an impartial statement of what her folly was likely to cost, the more so as her own thoughts were still insisting on the other side of the case. Presented in the light of Mrs.┬аTrenorтАЩs vigorous comments, the reckoning was certainly a formidable one, and Lily, as she listened, found herself gradually reverting to her friendтАЩs view of the situation. Mrs.┬аTrenorтАЩs words were moreover emphasized for her hearer by anxieties which she herself could scarcely guess. Affluence, unless stimulated by a keen imagination, forms but the vaguest notion of the practical strain of poverty. Judy knew it must be тАЬhorridтАЭ for poor Lily to have to stop to consider whether she could afford real lace on her petticoats, and not to have a motorcar and a steam-yacht at her orders; but the daily friction of unpaid bills, the daily nibble of small temptations to expenditure, were trials as far out of her experience as the domestic problems of the charwoman. Mrs.┬аTrenorтАЩs unconsciousness of the real stress of the situation had the effect of making it more galling to Lily. While her friend reproached her for missing the opportunity to eclipse her rivals, she was once more battling in imagination with the mounting tide of indebtedness from which she had so nearly escaped. What wind of folly had driven her out again on those dark seas?
If anything was needed to put the last touch to her self-abasement it was the sense of the way her old life was opening its ruts again to receive her. Yesterday her fancy had fluttered free pinions above a choice of occupations; now she had to drop to the level of the familiar routine, in which moments of seeming brilliancy and freedom alternated with long hours of subjection.
She laid a deprecating hand on her friendтАЩs. тАЬDear Judy! IтАЩm sorry to have been such a bore, and you are very good to me. But you must have some letters for me to answerтБатАФlet me at least be useful.тАЭ
She settled herself at the desk, and Mrs.┬аTrenor accepted her resumption of the morningтАЩs task with a sigh which implied that, after all, she had proved herself unfit for higher uses.
The luncheon table showed a depleted circle. All the men but Jack Stepney and Dorset had returned to town (it seemed to Lily a last touch of irony that Selden and Percy Gryce should have gone in the same train), and Lady Cressida and the attendant Wetheralls had been despatched by motor to lunch at a distant country-house. At such moments of diminished interest it was usual for Mrs.┬аDorset to keep her room till the afternoon; but on this occasion she drifted in when luncheon was half over, hollowed-eyed and drooping, but with an edge of malice under her indifference.
She raised her eyebrows as she looked about the table. тАЬHow few of us are left! I do so enjoy the quietтБатАФdonтАЩt you, Lily? I wish the men would always stop awayтБатАФitтАЩs really much nicer without them. Oh, you donтАЩt count, George: one doesnтАЩt have to talk to oneтАЩs husband. But I thought Mr.┬аGryce was to stay for the rest of the week?тАЭ she added enquiringly. тАЬDidnтАЩt he intend to, Judy? HeтАЩs such a nice boyтБатАФI wonder what drove him away? He is rather shy, and IтАЩm afraid we may have shocked him: he has been brought up in such an old-fashioned way. Do you know, Lily, he told me he had never seen a girl play cards for money till he saw you doing it the other night? And he lives on the interest of his income, and always has a lot left over to invest!тАЭ
Mrs.┬аFisher leaned forward eagerly. тАЬI do believe it is someoneтАЩs duty to educate that young man. It is shocking that he has never been made to realize his duties as a citizen. Every wealthy man should be compelled to study the laws of his country.тАЭ
Mrs.┬аDorset glanced at her quietly. тАЬI think he has studied the divorce laws. He told me he had promised the Bishop to sign some kind of a petition against divorce.тАЭ
Mrs.┬аFisher reddened under her powder, and Stepney said with a laughing glance at Miss Bart: тАЬI suppose he is thinking of marriage, and wants to tinker up the old ship before he goes aboard.тАЭ
His betrothed looked shocked at the metaphor, and George Dorset exclaimed with a sardonic growl: тАЬPoor devil! It isnтАЩt the ship that will do for him, itтАЩs the crew.тАЭ
тАЬOr the stowaways,тАЭ said Miss Corby brightly. тАЬIf I contemplated a voyage with him I should try to start with a friend in the hold.тАЭ
Miss Van OsburghтАЩs vague feeling of pique was struggling for appropriate expression. тАЬIтАЩm sure I donтАЩt see why you laugh at him; I think heтАЩs very nice,тАЭ she exclaimed; тАЬand, at any rate, a girl who married him would always have enough to be comfortable.тАЭ
She looked puzzled at the redoubled laughter which hailed her words, but it might have consoled her to know how deeply they had sunk into the breast of one of her hearers.
Comfortable! At that moment the word was more eloquent to Lily Bart than any other in the language. She could not even pause to smile over the heiressтАЩs view of a colossal fortune as a mere shelter against want: her mind was filled with the vision of what that shelter might have been to her. Mrs.┬аDorsetтАЩs pinpricks did not smart, for her own irony cut deeper: no one could hurt her as much as she was hurting herself, for no one elseтБатАФnot even Judy TrenorтБатАФknew the full magnitude of her folly.
She was roused from these unprofitable considerations by a whispered request from her hostess, who drew her apart as they left the luncheon-table.
тАЬLily, dear, if youтАЩve nothing special to do, may I tell Carry Fisher that you intend to drive to the station and fetch Gus? He will be back at four, and I know she has it in her mind to meet him. Of course IтАЩm very glad to have him amused, but I happen to know that she has bled him rather severely since sheтАЩs been here, and she is so keen about going to fetch him that I fancy she must have got a lot more bills this morning. It seems to me,тАЭ Mrs.┬аTrenor feelingly concluded, тАЬthat most of her alimony is paid by other womenтАЩs husbands!тАЭ
Miss Bart, on her way to the station, had leisure to muse over her friendтАЩs words, and their peculiar application to herself. Why should she have to suffer for having once, for a few hours, borrowed money of an elderly cousin, when a woman like Carry Fisher could make a living unrebuked from the good-nature of her men friends and the tolerance of their wives? It all turned on the tiresome distinction between what a married woman might, and a girl might not, do. Of course it was shocking for a married woman to borrow moneyтБатАФand Lily was expertly aware of the implication involvedтБатАФbut still, it was the mere malum prohibitum which the world decries but condones, and which, though it may be punished by private vengeance, does not provoke the collective disapprobation of society. To Miss Bart, in short, no such opportunities were possible. She could of course borrow from her women friendsтБатАФa hundred here or there, at the utmostтБатАФbut they were more ready to give a gown or a trinket, and looked a little askance when she hinted her preference for a cheque. Women are not generous lenders, and those among whom her lot was cast were either in the same case as herself, or else too far removed from it to understand its necessities. The result of her meditations was the decision to join her aunt at Richfield. She could not remain at Bellomont without playing bridge, and being involved in other expenses; and to continue her usual series of autumn visits would merely prolong the same difficulties. She had reached a point where abrupt retrenchment was necessary, and the only cheap life was a dull life. She would start the next morning for Richfield.
At the station she thought Gus Trenor seemed surprised, and not wholly unrelieved, to see her. She yielded up the reins of the light runabout in which she had driven over, and as he climbed heavily to her side, crushing her into a scant third of the seat, he said: тАЬHalloo! It isnтАЩt often you honour me. You must have been uncommonly hard up for something to do.тАЭ
The afternoon was warm, and propinquity made her more than usually conscious that he was red and massive, and that beads of moisture had caused the dust of the train to adhere unpleasantly to the broad expanse of cheek and neck which he turned to her; but she was aware also, from the look in his small dull eyes, that the contact with her freshness and slenderness was as agreeable to him as the sight of a cooling beverage.
The perception of this fact helped her to answer gaily: тАЬItтАЩs not often I have the chance. There are too many ladies to dispute the privilege with me.тАЭ
тАЬThe privilege of driving me home? Well, IтАЩm glad you won the race, anyhow. But I know what really happenedтБатАФmy wife sent you. Now didnтАЩt she?тАЭ
He had the dull manтАЩs unexpected flashes of astuteness, and Lily could not help joining in the laugh with which he had pounced on the truth.
тАЬYou see, Judy thinks IтАЩm the safest person for you to be with; and sheтАЩs quite right,тАЭ she rejoined.
тАЬOh, is she, though? If she is, itтАЩs because you wouldnтАЩt waste your time on an old hulk like me. We married men have to put up with what we can get: all the prizes are for the clever chaps whoтАЩve kept a free foot. Let me light a cigar, will you? IтАЩve had a beastly day of it.тАЭ
He drew up in the shade of the village street, and passed the reins to her while he held a match to his cigar. The little flame under his hand cast a deeper crimson on his puffing face, and Lily averted her eyes with a momentary feeling of repugnance. And yet some women thought him handsome!
As she handed back the reins, she said sympathetically: тАЬDid you have such a lot of tiresome things to do?тАЭ
тАЬI should say soтБатАФrather!тАЭ Trenor, who was seldom listened to, either by his wife or her friends, settled down into the rare enjoyment of a confidential talk. тАЬYou donтАЩt know how a fellow has to hustle to keep this kind of thing going.тАЭ He waved his whip in the direction of the Bellomont acres, which lay outspread before them in opulent undulations. тАЬJudy has no idea of what she spendsтБатАФnot that there isnтАЩt plenty to keep the thing going,тАЭ he interrupted himself, тАЬbut a man has got to keep his eyes open and pick up all the tips he can. My father and mother used to live like fighting-cocks on their income, and put by a good bit of it tooтБатАФluckily for meтБатАФbut at the pace we go now, I donтАЩt know where I should be if it werenтАЩt for taking a flyer now and then. The women all thinkтБатАФI mean Judy thinksтБатАФIтАЩve nothing to do but to go down town once a month and cut off coupons, but the truth is it takes a devilish lot of hard work to keep the machinery running. Not that I ought to complain today, though,тАЭ he went on after a moment, тАЬfor I did a very neat stroke of business, thanks to StepneyтАЩs friend Rosedale: by the way, Miss Lily, I wish youтАЩd try to persuade Judy to be decently civil to that chap. HeтАЩs going to be rich enough to buy us all out one of these days, and if sheтАЩd only ask him to dine now and then I could get almost anything out of him. The man is mad to know the people who donтАЩt want to know him, and when a fellowтАЩs in that state there is nothing he wonтАЩt do for the first woman who takes him up.тАЭ
Lily hesitated a moment. The first part of her companionтАЩs discourse had started an interesting train of thought, which was rudely interrupted by the mention of Mr.┬аRosedaleтАЩs name. She uttered a faint protest.
тАЬBut you know Jack did try to take him about, and he was impossible.тАЭ
тАЬOh, hang itтБатАФbecause heтАЩs fat and shiny, and has a sloppy manner! Well, all I can say is that the people who are clever enough to be civil to him now will make a mighty good thing of it. A few years from now heтАЩll be in it whether we want him or not, and then he wonтАЩt be giving away a half-a-million tip for a dinner.тАЭ
LilyтАЩs mind had reverted from the intrusive personality of Mr.┬аRosedale to the train of thought set in motion by TrenorтАЩs first words. This vast mysterious Wall Street world of тАЬtipsтАЭ and тАЬdealsтАЭтБатАФmight she not find in it the means of escape from her dreary predicament? She had often heard of women making money in this way through their friends: she had no more notion than most of her sex of the exact nature of the transaction, and its vagueness seemed to diminish its indelicacy. She could not, indeed, imagine herself, in any extremity, stooping to extract a тАЬtipтАЭ from Mr.┬аRosedale; but at her side was a man in possession of that precious commodity, and who, as the husband of her dearest friend, stood to her in a relation of almost fraternal intimacy.
In her inmost heart Lily knew it was not by appealing to the fraternal instinct that she was likely to move Gus Trenor; but this way of explaining the situation helped to drape its crudity, and she was always scrupulous about keeping up appearances to herself. Her personal fastidiousness had a moral equivalent, and when she made a tour of inspection in her own mind there were certain closed doors she did not open.
As they reached the gates of Bellomont she turned to Trenor with a smile.
тАЬThe afternoon is so perfectтБатАФdonтАЩt you want to drive me a little farther? IтАЩve been rather out of spirits all day, and itтАЩs so restful to be away from people, with someone who wonтАЩt mind if IтАЩm a little dull.тАЭ
She looked so plaintively lovely as she proffered the request, so trustfully sure of his sympathy and understanding, that Trenor felt himself wishing that his wife could see how other women treated himтБатАФnot battered wire-pullers like Mrs.┬аFisher, but a girl that most men would have given their boots to get such a look from.
тАЬOut of spirits? Why on earth should you ever be out of spirits? Is your last box of Doucet dresses a failure, or did Judy rook you out of everything at bridge last night?тАЭ
Lily shook her head with a sigh. тАЬI have had to give up Doucet; and bridge tooтБатАФI canтАЩt afford it. In fact I canтАЩt afford any of the things my friends do, and I am afraid Judy often thinks me a bore because I donтАЩt play cards any longer, and because I am not as smartly dressed as the other women. But you will think me a bore too if I talk to you about my worries, and I only mention them because I want you to do me a favourтБатАФthe very greatest of favours.тАЭ
Her eyes sought his once more, and she smiled inwardly at the tinge of apprehension that she read in them.
тАЬWhy, of courseтБатАФif itтАЩs anything I can manageтБатАФтАЭ He broke off, and she guessed that his enjoyment was disturbed by the remembrance of Mrs.┬аFisherтАЩs methods.
тАЬThe greatest of favours,тАЭ she rejoined gently. тАЬThe fact is, Judy is angry with me, and I want you to make my peace.тАЭ
тАЬAngry with you? Oh, come, nonsenseтБатАФтАЭ his relief broke through in a laugh. тАЬWhy, you know sheтАЩs devoted to you.тАЭ
тАЬShe is the best friend I have, and that is why I mind having to vex her. But I daresay you know what she has wanted me to do. She has set her heartтБатАФpoor dearтБатАФon my marryingтБатАФmarrying a great deal of money.тАЭ
She paused with a slight falter of embarrassment, and Trenor, turning abruptly, fixed on her a look of growing intelligence.
тАЬA great deal of money? Oh, by JoveтБатАФyou donтАЩt mean Gryce? WhatтБатАФyou do? Oh, no, of course I wonтАЩt mention itтБатАФyou can trust me to keep my mouth shutтБатАФbut GryceтБатАФgood Lord, Gryce! Did Judy really think you could bring yourself to marry that portentous little ass? But you couldnтАЩt, eh? And so you gave him the sack, and thatтАЩs the reason why he lit out by the first train this morning?тАЭ He leaned back, spreading himself farther across the seat, as if dilated by the joyful sense of his own discernment. тАЬHow on earth could Judy think you would do such a thing? I could have told her youтАЩd never put up with such a little milksop!тАЭ
Lily sighed more deeply. тАЬI sometimes think,тАЭ she murmured, тАЬthat men understand a womanтАЩs motives better than other women do.тАЭ
тАЬSome menтБатАФIтАЩm certain of it! I could have told Judy,тАЭ he repeated, exulting in the implied superiority over his wife.
тАЬI thought you would understand; thatтАЩs why I wanted to speak to you,тАЭ Miss Bart rejoined. тАЬI canтАЩt make that kind of marriage; itтАЩs impossible. But neither can I go on living as all the women in my set do. I am almost entirely dependent on my aunt, and though she is very kind to me she makes me no regular allowance, and lately IтАЩve lost money at cards, and I donтАЩt dare tell her about it. I have paid my card debts, of course, but there is hardly anything left for my other expenses, and if I go on with my present life I shall be in horrible difficulties. I have a tiny income of my own, but IтАЩm afraid itтАЩs badly invested, for it seems to bring in less every year, and I am so ignorant of money matters that I donтАЩt know if my auntтАЩs agent, who looks after it, is a good adviser.тАЭ She paused a moment, and added in a lighter tone: тАЬI didnтАЩt mean to bore you with all this, but I want your help in making Judy understand that I canтАЩt, at present, go on living as one must live among you all. I am going away tomorrow to join my aunt at Richfield, and I shall stay there for the rest of the autumn, and dismiss my maid and learn how to mend my own clothes.тАЭ
At this picture of loveliness in distress, the pathos of which was heightened by the light touch with which it was drawn, a murmur of indignant sympathy broke from Trenor. Twenty-four hours earlier, if his wife had consulted him on the subject of Miss BartтАЩs future, he would have said that a girl with extravagant tastes and no money had better marry the first rich man she could get; but with the subject of discussion at his side, turning to him for sympathy, making him feel that he understood her better than her dearest friends, and confirming the assurance by the appeal of her exquisite nearness, he was ready to swear that such a marriage was a desecration, and that, as a man of honour, he was bound to do all he could to protect her from the results of her disinterestedness. This impulse was reinforced by the reflection that if she had married Gryce she would have been surrounded by flattery and approval, whereas, having refused to sacrifice herself to expediency, she was left to bear the whole cost of her resistance. Hang it, if he could find a way out of such difficulties for a professional sponge like Carry Fisher, who was simply a mental habit corresponding to the physical titillations of the cigarette or the cocktail, he could surely do as much for a girl who appealed to his highest sympathies, and who brought her troubles to him with the trustfulness of a child.
Trenor and Miss Bart prolonged their drive till long after sunset; and before it was over he had tried, with some show of success, to prove to her that, if she would only trust him, he could make a handsome sum of money for her without endangering the small amount she possessed. She was too genuinely ignorant of the manipulations of the stock-market to understand his technical explanations, or even perhaps to perceive that certain points in them were slurred; the haziness enveloping the transaction served as a veil for her embarrassment, and through the general blur her hopes dilated like lamps in a fog. She understood only that her modest investments were to be mysteriously multiplied without risk to herself; and the assurance that this miracle would take place within a short time, that there would be no tedious interval for suspense and reaction, relieved her of her lingering scruples.
Again she felt the lightening of her load, and with it the release of repressed activities. Her immediate worries conjured, it was easy to resolve that she would never again find herself in such straits, and as the need of economy and self-denial receded from her foreground she felt herself ready to meet any other demand which life might make. Even the immediate one of letting Trenor, as they drove homeward, lean a little nearer and rest his hand reassuringly on hers, cost her only a momentary shiver of reluctance. It was part of the game to make him feel that her appeal had been an uncalculated impulse, provoked by the liking he inspired; and the renewed sense of power in handling men, while it consoled her wounded vanity, helped also to obscure the thought of the claim at which his manner hinted. He was a coarse dull man who, under all his show of authority, was a mere supernumerary in the costly show for which his money paid: surely, to a clever girl, it would be easy to hold him by his vanity, and so keep the obligation on his side.