The "adventurers"—Aphmau, Laurance, Katelyn, and Garroth—were as they claimed, returned from their respective dimensions (Garroth from Irene’s, Zane from the Nether). They were surveying New Meteli while Cadenza filled me in on them. It felt strange to hear her speak so fondly of friends—friends she’d described in stories, at least—considering her usual taste leans towards… well, me, for example.
“So, yeah, I really think you’d like Laurance. He’s a flirt like you.”
“Didn’t seem too flirty to me,” I replied. Cadenza insisted he was a casanova, but I doubted it. “There wasn’t even a single kind vibe coming from him, let alone a flirty one.”
“Well, he could’ve changed… or maybe it was because you were questioning him about his sister.” She laughed.
I feigned dramatic offense. “Please. I literally just *looked* at him.”
“Yeah, yeah. Just apologize when you see them.”
“But—”
“Shut up, go get them and apologize!”
I sighed and offered a playful bow. “Yes, Your Majesty.”
“Oh, and n/n?”
“Yeah?”
“If you and Laurance… well, you know… just don’t tell me. I don’t want to picture it.”
“Cadenza!? What the *fuck* is wrong with you? You’re obviously thinking about it to bring it up.” I tapped her head. “You better not be conjuring any incestuous fantasies in there!”
“Ew! Gross! Of course not!”
We continued to mock each other until I finally exited, pushing the thought of Cadenza’s bizarre imaginings aside.
~
After wandering aimlessly for a few minutes, I found them. “Hey guys,” I sighed. Stupid Cadenza and her stupid orders. “Sorry for being rude at our first encounter. It was unprofessional, and I should have recognized you and believed your word.”
“Apology accepted,” Aphmau replied, smiling sweetly. “You were just doing your job.”
“Barely.” A man muttered under his breath.
“Laurance!” Aphmau scolded.
“What? All I’m saying is that if she’d do her job properly without being so sexual, she’d have nothing to apologize for. Look at what she’s wearing!”
(Outfit described as something Cadenza made, but not important.)
“First of all, my sister designed this outfit, and second, I was being sensual, not sexual. There’s a difference.”
“Not really,” he mumbled.
Katelyn, clearly bored, groaned, grabbed Laurance by the wrist, and dragged him away while Aphmau and Garroth followed.
I guess I’ll just stand here, then.
~
Half an hour passed. I was technically on patrol, but it felt more like aimless wandering. Suddenly, a girl screamed. Of course, I headed towards the sound—a good guard, a normal person.
I sprinted into the woods, finding a little girl tied to a tree with her parents nearby. I couldn’t hear their conversation, but the men who’d bound them were clearly enraged. Bandits, I realized. As I began to formulate a strategy, the little girl screamed again. My eyes widened. She was covered in blood.
They’d stabbed her parents. Four grown men, casually slaughtering parents in front of their daughter. The audacity. The PTSD. A rage I hadn’t felt in a long time surged through me. I launched myself at them, fueled by adrenaline. I took them down quickly.
I started untying the rope. “It’s okay, you’re safe now.” I told the girl. I wasn’t sure if it helped, but I wasn’t used to comforting people.
Suddenly, one of the men rose and pinned me to the ground. I thought I’d killed him.
“What are you gonna do?” he rasped. “Kill me and have a necrophilia orgy with them?” He gestured to the parents.
“Perhaps.”
Gross. It was a joke.
Suddenly, the man’s weight shifted. A sword was embedded in his back. He wasn’t moving.
Oh. He’s dead.
The situation triggered an old memory, and I began to hyperventilate. I forced myself to calm down before it became too noticeable. This wasn't the time for that. It would be embarrassing.
I shimmied out from under the body, rising to my feet. I was covered in blood.
“Cadenza’s going to kill me,” I complained. She’d just made this outfit this morning.
“She’d rather see your clothes ripped apart than you,” a voice said. Laurance.
“Gah! What the fuck are *you* doing here?”
“Saving your life, obviously. I heard you scream.” He smirked, mocking me.
“I—what? That wasn’t me, it was her,” I pointed to the girl frantically. He probably didn’t believe me, but he was probably just teasing me. I pouted and crossed my arms. “I had it all under control.”
“You were talking about him having sex with your dead corpse!” He spat, disbelief etched on his face.
Oh. Haha. I guess I was.
I glared at him, annoyed. “Oh, take a joke, dude.”