No Homo, But Also Cringe

6 0 00

also cringe ass cody baby

Sierra: ok so, update

Sierra: the Lyler fans are super super happy that you're together!! pretty much everyone agrees that you're one of the cutest td couples!

Tyler: haha, nice! ya hear that @/Lindsay (is there a user with this name?? idk i don't wanna risk it)

Lindsay: huh?

Lindsay: Sierra, his name is TYLER, not Lyler!!

Leshawna: hold up

Leshawna: did she just say Sierra's name right?? and Tyler's??????

Lindsay: hi Leshawna! Leshawna? that's it right? 

Leshawna: 

Leshawna: coulda SWORN she couldn't remember a name for the life of her

Leshawna: am i hallucinating

Noah: hold on

Noah: Lindsay, who am i?

Lindsay: ummm

Lindsay: looking at your profile picture and..................

Lindsay: uh...........

Noah: istg if she says Tyler

Lindsay: are you that one guy from the sixth season?

Noah: "that one guy"

Sierra: do you mean Dave? they look the most similar, although technically Pahkitew Island is season five, shared with All Stars

Lindsay: ummm, Dave???

Leshawna: he was that whiny-ass stringbean right? oh, i felt BAD for that Sky girl

Noah: i hate it here

Sierra: here's an image of Dave!

Sierra:

Lindsay: yea!! that's who Noah is right?

Noah: oh my fucking god

Leshawna: girl, read what you just texted

Leshawna: read it slowly

Lindsay: um, ok?

Tyler: uh, i got this

Tyler: also, me and Beth made a list of everyone's names and an image of them to help her remember names

Noah: *Beth and I

Tyler: what? i did it, not you?

Noah: i give up

Sierra: WAIIIIIIT NOAH

Noah: what

Sierra: sooooooo

Sierra: speaking of Dave, fans think that you two are related! is that true???

Noah: bye

Sierra: what?? that's not an answer!!!

Sierra: NOAHHHHHHH

Sierra: i'll find out soon,,,,,,

Leshawna: wait are we the only two left?

Sierra: yep!

Sierra: okay Leshawna, i have some questions for you

Leshawna: lord help me

Gwen: wassup

Leshawna: OH THANK GOD GWEN

Gwen: wha?

Sierra: wait Leshawna! i haven't asked any questions!

Gwen: oh, i get it now

Gwen: glad to hear from you Leshawna :)

Leshawna: same girl! we NEED to hang out sometime

Sierra: OHH GWEN GWEN GWEN GWEN

Gwen: sigh

Gwen: yes, Sierra?

Sierra: ok so, i told the internet Gwourtney is canon

Sierra: the Gwourtney fans and gays have given overwhelming positivity!!

Sierra: but the Duncney and Gwuncan fans are NOT happy. The Gwent fans are sad but content, which is normal

Gwen: the what what what?

Leshawna: girl don't ask

Gwen: ok well

Gwen: brb i'm going to tell them they can suck my entire ass over Twitter

Sierra: WHOOP WHOOP TWITTER DRAMAAAA

Heather: did i hear Twitter drama? 

Leshawna: i see we've summoned Satan

Heather: oh shut it Le-shit-na

Leshawna: funny you should call me that with the shit you be talking

Heather: it's not shit talking if it's the truth 💅

Leshawna: girl what do YOU know about the truth??

Sierra: 😳😬😨👀💕

Heather: what the hell Sierra? you just interrupted a perfectly good argument

Sierra: OMG WHAT

Sierra: NOOOOOOO

Leshawna: whatever, i'm out y'all 

Heather: good RIDDANCE

Leshawna: careful girl, i don't think you want more teeth knocked out 😌

Heather: i-

Sierra: EEEE THESE'LL BE SO GOOD FOR MY BLOGS

Heather: Sierra do NOT upload these

Sierra: uh

Sierra: too late

Heather: AAAUUGHHAGHSH

Lindsay: omg Noah is the guy with the big forehead!

Noah: . 

Tyler: i mean, yea 

Tyler: sorry dude

Duncan: AHAHAHAHAHA

Duncan: SIXHEAD ASS

Noah: ok Mr. hammerhead shark

Duncan: ok fuck you

Duncan: yknow that piercing offer still stands

Noah: from the first episode? i'm good

Duncan: psh, who said you got a choice?

Noah: uh

Noah: not sure if you're aware, but that's kind of illegal

Tyler: dude you're talking to Duncan

Duncan: hey Sierra can you dox Noah 

Heather: the hell

Sierra: uhm

Noah: oh my god are you considering it????

Noah: DON'T DOX ME

Sierra: hmmmm

Tyler: hey i think ur gonna get doxxed

Duncan: haha revenge

Noah: i literally just insulted you how is this justified

Heather: this is what you get for being a little shit 💕

Sierra: i will consider it if

Sierra: you.......

Duncan: if i????

Sierra: ask out the next SINGLE person who comes online!

Duncan: what

Duncan: wtf

Sierra: look i need more ships

Duncan: whatever

Duncan: it's worth it

Noah: Sierra what did i do to you

Heather: you did mock her that one time on tdwt

Sierra: yea!!!!!!!

Cody: uh Heather? why'd you want me to come online?

Duncan: oh fucking hell

Heather: hehe 

Sierra: NO

Sierra: CODY IS *TAKEN* 

Sierra: BY ME

Sierra: HANDS O F F 

Cody: uhm

Noah: unless you want Duncan to ask you out, go along with it

Cody: what's going on?

Noah: Sierra forcing herself onto you, Duncan being humiliated, i'm about to get doxxed, the usual

Cody: w h a t ?

Heather: ugh dangit that was supposed to go differently

Duncan: Heather i hate you

Heather: ok 💖

Cody: ok but, i wouldn't have even said yes?

Cody: sorry not sorry Duncan

Duncan: i literally don't care 

Duncan: i'm not attracted to a five foot gap-toothed twink

Cody: WHY IS EVERYONE CALLING ME A TWINK

Noah: this may come as a shock, but you are in fact a twink

Cody: NO I'M NOT

Heather: Cody you are the most twink-y person on the whole damn show

Sierra: a lovable twink 😍😍😍

Cody: :(

Harold: yo wassup

Cody: oh thank god! Harold tell them i'm not a twink!!!!

Harold: you are though. it's obvious. 

Cody: AUGH

Heather: oh Duncan

Duncan: what?

Duncan: NO. 

Duncan: HAROLD DOESN'T COUNT

Sierra: but he is single, i think...

Duncan: HE DOES NOT COUNT AS A PERSON

Duncan: I WOULD RATHER EAT OWEN'S SHIT THAN ASK HIM OUT

Noah: wow, that's disgusting

Harold: uh, ask me out? 

Duncan: i'm not doing it, i'll ask the next person

Sierra: FINE

Sierra: Dunharold isn't too popular anyway.......

Duncan: PEOPLE SHIP US!??!?!??!?!?!?!?!?

Harold: he literally bullies me, gosh!

Cody: "bullies" present tense??

Duncan: haha yea

Harold: you would think he's matured, but no

Duncan: stfu skinny penis

Harold: don't project your insecurities onto me

Duncan: what? i don't have a fucking skinny penis

Courtney: YES HE DOES

Duncan: WTF COURTNEY WHEN DID YOU GET ONLINE

Heather: AHAHAHAHA COURTNEY ILY

Cody: DUNCAN HAS SKINNY DICK ENERGY AND AN ACTUAL SKINNY DICK ITS CONFIRMED

Noah: ^we been knew

Sierra: I KNEW IT DUNCAN *DOES* HAVE A SKINNY PENIS

Duncan: WHAT

Duncan: NO

Duncan: DON'T LISTEN TO COURTNEY

Harold: it seems my job is done

Harold: farewell, and suck a dick Duncan

Duncan: i'm not fucking gay

Heather: sure

Duncan: what does that mean

Noah: wee woo wee woo

Cody: uh i think one of Noah's cousins took his phone

Noah: nope

Noah: that was my gaydar

Noah: saying Duncan is not 100% straight

Duncan: what proof do you have??

Gwen: can confirm Duncan has said gay shit

Gwen: while dating me and not

Duncan: GWEN STFU

Courtney: if i had a nickel for every time he said "well $20 IS $20-"

Duncan: THATS A JOKE 

Heather: is it?

Sierra: oh this is better than i could've ever asked for

Sierra: the possibilities!!!

Duncan: ok look

Duncan: IM NOT GAY OR BI OR WHATEVER

Heather: prove it

Duncan: how????

Gwen-Trent

Gwen: TRENT

Gwen: TRENT

Gwen: TRENT

Gwen: TRENT U MOTHERFUCKER RESPOND

Trent: jesus what

Gwen: talk on the gc

Gwen: right now

Trent: is that it? sure

Gwen: thanks >:)

Trent: wait what

Trent: why evil smile

Trent: i don't like the evil smile

TOTAL DRAMA BROS

Trent: hi

Heather: perfect timing Trent!

Trent: what?

Heather: well Duncan?

Duncan: hell no

Sierra: you already used a pass on Harold! you HAVE to!!

Trent: Gwen what's going on

Duncan: GWEN???!?!??!?!?!

Gwen: i have no idea what you're talking about

Duncan: UGHHHHHHHH

Duncan: i hate all of you

Duncan: do i seriously have to type this out

Sierra: if you want Noah doxxed!!

Trent: hold on WHAT?

Noah: at this point i've accepted it

Noah: i mean 911 is right there

Duncan: Trent

Trent:...yes?

Cody: Trent run while you can

Duncan: will you fucking "go out" with me or whatever

Duncan: someone kill me

Trent: 

Trent: what

Heather: answer Trent, he's waiting

Duncan: Heather i will personally make sure you go bald again

Courtney: oh this is interesting

Gwen-Trent

Gwen: say yes

Trent: uh, why?

Trent: i think it's pretty clear i don't like Duncan too much?

Gwen: ok yea but saying yes will make Duncan miserable

Gwen: i have a plan w/ Courtney

Trent: making Duncan miserable sounds fun but

Trent: i don't think dating him is worth it

Gwen: i'll give you $20

Trent: will i have to go on a date with him?

Gwen: yea

Trent: $50

Gwen: UGHHHH FINE

Gwen: you're lucky i already bought tickets so i have to do this

Trent: welp, time to throw away my dignity

TOTAL DRAMA BROS

Trent: sure

Heather: oh wait- actually?? 😦

Cody: Trent w h y ?

Noah: he just can't resist the people with dyed hair

Trent: haha, no

Duncan: NO

Duncan: SAY NO

Sierra: NOPE NO TAKE-BACKSIES

Duncan: Trent wtf

Trent: well it means i get a free meal right?

Duncan: what?

Duncan: hell no dude i'm not taking you on a date

Trent: guys my new boyfriend is being shitty :(

Duncan: DON'T CALL ME YOUR BOYFRIEND

Heather: AHAHA THIS IS HILARIOUS

Gwen: me & Court are CACKLING

Trent: i mean we are dating now so i CAN call you that

Duncan: no, don't

Trent: but why

Noah: because he's still repressing his inner bisexuality

Duncan: oh my god Sierra can you just dox him now

Trent: why do you want him doxxed?????

Sierra: well technically all i said was that i'd consider it if you asked out the person

Sierra: i will now consider it

Cody: Sierra don't dox him

Sierra: i've made up my mind! i won't dox Noah

Noah: oh wow, thanks Sierra. now my brother's address won't be shared for the entire internet to see, whatever can i do to repay you 

Cody: brother?

Noah: yea

Cody: why?

Noah: because i want people to ask me why i live with my brother

Noah: it's not important

Cody: oh ok

Gwen: PLZ

Duncan: gay

Trent: oh my god shut up

Duncan: make me bitch

Sierra: 👀

Gwen: a lover's quarrel

Duncan: i'm leaving

Courtney: honestly Trent i'm sorry

Trent: can't believe my first "relationship" in forever is with DUNCAN

Noah: you said yes so

Trent: wasn't my choice

Gwen: 😇

Heather: should've known Gwen was behind this

Gwen: you enjoyed it sooo

Heather: what

Heather: ever

Sierra: EEEEE I'M UPDATING MY BLOGS NOW

Trent: wait no

Trent: ah, there it is

Trent: the notifications blowing up my phone

Noah: having regrets?

Trent: a little

Cody: dang i'm on Twitter right now and people are going NUTS

Heather: wow Trent hasn't had this much attention since season two

Trent: oh wow

Trent: this is,,, a lot

Duncan: SIERRA IM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU

Sierra: whoops

Sierra: Cody save me!!

Sierra: Cody?

Sierra: Codykins????

Noah: oop

*later*

Duncan-Trent

Trent: um so

Trent: i don't know if Gwen told you this but

Trent: we're kinda going on a double date with her and Courtney at the movies

Duncan: oh hell no

Duncan: that is my worst nightmare

Trent: look dude, they said they'd pay for everything and we don't have to do anything romantic

Trent: also i don't think we have a choice

Duncan: god life really decided to fuck me over today

Duncan: whatever Elvis, i fucking guess

Trent: i see the Elvis nickname is making a comeback

Duncan: shut