For as long as I can remember, the word “divorce” hung between my parents like a broken mirror. Separated. Not together. Whatever you call it, it’s always been… this. + 

They split when I was four, just starting to piece together what *memory* even meant. I remember bits and pieces, flashes of a life before the fracture. + 

Eventually, Dad married Rebecca. A genuinely kind woman. She always *tried* to be kind to me, whenever I saw her with Dad, which wasn’t often. And then there were her kids. + 

I landed smack-dab in the middle. Rebecca’s son, Nyx, is almost a year older, but we’re stuck in the same grade. Same with her daughter, Ruby. They’re twins, so I’m always bumping into both of them at school. + 

Then, less than a year after Dad and Rebecca got together, she got pregnant with my half-sister, Sapphire. It felt like… more change. More pieces scattering. + 

Around two years ago, when I turned fourteen, Mom met Darren. A complete asshole, but she looks at him like he hung the moon. She *adores* him. + 

A year after that, she married him, right after I turned fifteen. Just… another shift. + 

Life’s been a constant landslide of chaos. Honestly, I hate it. I hate all the change. I wish things could just… go back to how they were. Before Darren. Before I told Mom anything. Maybe then I could still *be* me. Maybe I could still have the relationship I had with her before. + 

I just… I want it to stop moving. I want to feel like I'm not just falling apart. I wish things were just… simpler. + 

It feels like I'm constantly bracing for the next piece to break off. And I'm just so tired of holding on. + 