"Y/N, you've been losing weight" Shoko said.
The woman has never spoken a word unless she needs something, and she actually barely even eats. Shoko is worried, but Y/N always just says she is fine.
Shoko always finds her in a daze, sometimes she's just looking outside the window when the sun sets, and most of the time she just lies down on her bed or sits on the couch, hugging herself and looking straight at nothing.
Y/N looked so lifeless and was definitely not in herself that one time she even broke a plate. A very unlikely trait for a meticulous and organized woman like her. Y/N has never been clumsy all her life, it was the first time Shoko saw her like that.
"You never let me check you up, it's been more than a week" she said but Y/N never responds.
Shoko sighed. It's been two months since the news that war broke out and the couple had to come back in the base despite them just getting married. And it's been more than a week since Gojo went missing after the war and Y/N became like this.
Y/N never returned to their house for reasons unknown to Shoko, so she decided to become her roommate in the military base.
Suddenly, Y/N stood up and went running to the toilet and vomited. Shoko sighed once again, Y/N's been like that for the past weeks especially in the morning, but she never lets Shoko check her up. Suddenly, a thought then crossed her mind.
"No way" she muttered as she rushed to assist her.
"Y/N" she spoke and held her wrist trying to check her pulse. Y/N was trying to take her wrist away from her grasp, but she was too weak to do so.
Her eyes suddenly widened after a minute. "Y/N...be honest with me" Shoko spoke in a serious tone.
"You're..." she kind of hesitated to say it out loud, but did anyway "You're pregnant aren't you?"
The moment she fired that question, Y/N's eyes widened and tears formed in her eyes.
"Shoko..." for the first time, she spoke and Shoko didn't know what to do except to hug her.
"Shh, it must have been so difficult for you" Shoko tried to calm her down, but Y/N simply burst in tears.
"I...I...I c-can't do this S-shoko" she tried to speak and let all of her emotions out. "How can I take care of our child w-when...when he's not by my side?" she wept.
Shoko really doesn't know what to do except to rub her back in an attempt to calm her down. This was a very shocking news.
"Y/N..."
"I...honestly d-don't know what to do anymore Shoko, I'm...I'm so" she tried her best to speak in between sobs. "I'm not...I'm...not...ready" she couldn't continue as she was struggling to speak clearly, she was not just crying, she was also panicking, everything just sunk in her mind right now.
"Y/N, listen to me, and take deep breaths, I need you to calm down, follow my counting, okay?" Shoko tried calming her down and held her hands tight. "Breathe in, breathe out"
She was thankful Y/N followed her, and she was somehow able to calm down a little.
"I know you can do it Y/N...you're strong"
But Y/N shook her head which made Shoko confused. She kind of hesitated to ask the question, but she did anyway.
"You...don't want the child?" Shoko asked the question slowly which made Y/N suddenly look at her.
"No..." she sniffed and took a deep breath. "I-it's not that" Y/N tried to speak straight, but the tears still won't stop falling from her eyes, her heart just feels so heavy and hurt that she feels like she is being stabbed by a knife multiple times. "Satoru and I dreamed of having a child, a family of our own..." she trailed off. "I could never abandon this, I could never" she touched her stomach.
Yet the next words she said made Shoko feel so bad for not talking to her a little earlier.
"But how can I live knowing this child will grow up without a father?"
Shoko got tongue-tied, none of the words she's thinking was enough to comfort her friend right now. All this time, she has been drowned in those thoughts for more than a week now and she never knew.
"I'm not ready to see my child grow up without him" she said in a low voice.
"I can't even step foot at our house without thinking of him" and then she was in the verge of crying again.
"I'm sorry Y/N" was all Shoko could say.
'So that's why she would never come back and stay at their house' she thought.
All of the memories Y/N had with Gojo throughout their relationship will just keep flooding her if she does so.
"But Y/N..." Shoko wiped her tears. "I think it's best if you go home to your parents' house" she said. "They can take care of you more than anyone here in the base" she added.
Y/N just looked at Shoko when she said those words. She sniffed and cleared her throat.
"Maybe you're right..." she trailed off, pondering whether or not to go home to her parents.
"My parents didn't even know yet..." she trailed off. "I specifically asked Geto not to inform them that Satoru is missing and I'm alone here"
"And I don't know how to break the news to them, especially my....pregnancy"
A few seconds of silence occurred between them when Shoko spoke.
"But just to be sure, should we perform a test?" Shoko said. "You know, what if it's false?"
Y/N shook her head then slowly stood up, Shoko assisted her and she went to reach for a box in the cabinet. After retrieving the box, she opened it and showed it to Shoko.
"Two positive results..." Shoko blurted out upon seeing the tests, and Y/N was in the verge of crying once again when she saw it.
Never in her life she thought she could be emotional as this.
As she did cried out loud again.
"Satoru...S-satoru should have been the first to see this" she cried like a child.
Shoko felt so bad for her and just hugged her again, suddenly a knock was heard at the door and she had to let Y/N go.
"Lieutenant General Geto"
"Drop the honorifics Shoko" he said. "May I come in?"
"No" Shoko replied instantly which made the man tilt his head, confused at her sudden prohibition.
"I came here to visit you and Y/N, I heard she hasn't been going out of this cabin"
"Geto, just leave for now"
But it was too late, Geto already heard someone sobbing so he let himself in despite Shoko stopping him.
"Geto!"
"Y/N?"
Y/N immediately turned her back and hid her face away from him.
"Y/N are you alright?"
"Of course she isn't" Shoko said.
"I want to know what happened, I'm her friend too"
Shoko only narrowed her eyes at him. Sure, the four of them, Gojo, Geto, Shoko and Y/N had been sticking around each other since their cadet days since they were in the same squad, yet at these times, Shoko knows Geto's presence will just make Y/N feel worse. After all, except for Ijichi, it was Geto who always relays anything he can about Gojo whenever they were separated for a long time for missions.
"Y/N" he called and Y/N never looked up at him.
"You've lost weight"
"Geto, she needs to be alone" Shoko said.
"No, she needs us" he retorted.
"She needs Gojo" Shoko replied which made him actually pause.
"Shoko" Geto glared at her with a serious tone.
"Geto, please" Shoko grabbed his arm, she couldn't care less about their ranks right now, they are friends before anything else.
"Y/N, I know you're mourning but—"
"Oh my god Geto shut up" Shoko said. They haven't even confirmed if he's really dead as they couldn't find his body, and he really had to say that right now?
Geto was about to speak again but he was shocked when Y/N spoke.
"Geto, I'm pregnant..."
The atmosphere suddenly went heavy and no one uttered a word. Shock was actually an understatement when he heard what she said.
Shoko could only close her eyes and sigh.
"Y/N, I'm sorry, I didn't know—"
"No, don't be" she now looked up at them and flashed a weak smile.
"Lieutenant General Geto" she recognized and slowly stood up, then saluted. "Permission to leave my post, sir"
"Y/N..."
"I am planning to go back to my hometown, sir"
"Stop it Y/N, drop the formalities, we're friends before anything else"
But Y/N never responded and waited for his reply. Knowing her personality, he just sighed and saluted back.
"Permission granted, Lieutenant Colonel...Gojo Y/N"
Yet upon hearing him utter her full name she just burst in tears again, she thought she could keep up the facade, she thought she was strong, but upon hearing her last name, it just reminded her of everything.
'Damn it, I look so weak, so vulnerable in front of them, I hate this, I hate this so much, why can't I control my emotions this time?'
Geto could no longer hold himself back and gave her a hug. This was the first time they saw her broke down like this, she had always looked strong in front of everyone.
But Gojo is Y/N's first and last, so this turn of events just took a great toll on her.
'Why did you went missing, Satoru? Why did you leave your wife?' Geto thought.
"Y/N, listen to me" he tried calming her down.
"I'll do everything to find him, okay? I promise you that. Until then, please hold on" he said and looked at Shoko who's just standing there watching their exchange.
"You're never alone" he says.
"We are here, and...you have that" he said, reffering to the unborn child.
"I...know" she said and looked down. "I have to be strong for him...or her" she said. "That is why...I will go back to my parents' house"
She had decided to take a break and she had no other choice but to tell her parents about what's happening, because they are bound to know it anyway.
Geto nodded in response. "After you send your formal letter, I'll sign the papers right away"
"Thank you, Geto"
But Y/N still stayed for a few days and helped with the aftermath of the war.
When it's daytime, she tried to focus on her work and brushed her thoughts about her husband away. But every night, after she is done with everything, Shoko still hears faint crying noises in her room.
Thus when Shoko could no longer take it, she told Geto personally to make an order for Y/N to go home immediately, although the former already have signed her papers, Y/N still stayed to render service.
Thus, when Geto signed the order, Y/N could no longer protest.
"Y/N, it's for your own good" they both said and Y/N had no choice but to confront everything.
So Y/N found herself waving goodbye to everyone in the base, most of the soldiers were sad upon knowing that she will leave, most especially Maki's squad, so they went to her to say goodbye.
"We'll miss you Lieutenant Y/N!" Yuji exclaimed.
"Please allow us to visit you sometimes!" Nobara added.
Y/N smiled and ruffled their hairs. "Of course, you can visit me any time" she said. "I'd always welcome all of you in my house, it's late, but... congratulations on graduating, and thank you for surviving."
Everyone was holding their tears. They were all taken aback from what she said.
Then Maki called for their attention.
"Attention!" Maki shouted and the six of them formed a line and stood straight.
"Lieutenant Colonel Y/N, thank you for your service!" Maki exclaimed and they all saluted.
"Thank you Lieutenant Colonel Gojo Y/N!" they all exclaimed simultaneously.
Y/N felt emotional once again but held her emotions, she stood straight and raised her right hand and saluted back.
"At ease" she then said as she put her hand down, and she could no longer hold herself and hugged them.
"Please take care of yourselves" she said and they all commenced a group hug to her before finally waving goodbye.
The last ones she gave farewell to were Geto and Shoko.
Soon she found herself riding a car and is now standing in front of her childhood home. She suddenly felt nervous, how would she break the news to her parents?
But she took a deep breath before knocking on the door. And when it opened, her mother's eyes widened upon seeing her.
"Y/N..." her mother muttered then hugged her and with a gleeful voice, she called for her husband. "Y/N is back! Hurry!" she exclaimed and suddenly, Y/N's father rushed towards their front door.
"I'm...back" she said.
"Y/N! Welcome!" Both of her parents were so glad and relieved she came to visit after everything that happened in their country.
And the moment her father hugged her, she was just trying her best to control her emotions once again.
"Y/N, you've lost weight" her mother said.
"Yeah..." she responded.
"Come in, come in! I will prepare your favorites!" Her mother was excited. "But wait" she suddenly paused.
And the next question her mother asked had all the walls she tried putting up, crash.
"Where's Satoru?"
She could only break down in front of them and reveal everything.