XVI + 

Husband and Wife + 

Mr.┬аBounderbyтАЩs first disquietude on hearing of his happiness, was occasioned by the necessity of imparting it to Mrs.┬аSparsit. He could not make up his mind how to do that, or what the consequences of the step might be. Whether she would instantly depart, bag and baggage, to Lady Scadgers, or would positively refuse to budge from the premises; whether she would be plaintive or abusive, tearful or tearing; whether she would break her heart, or break the looking-glass; Mr.┬аBounderby could not all foresee. However, as it must be done, he had no choice but to do it; so, after attempting several letters, and failing in them all, he resolved to do it by word of mouth. + 

On his way home, on the evening he set aside for this momentous purpose, he took the precaution of stepping into a chemistтАЩs shop and buying a bottle of the very strongest smelling-salts. тАЬBy George!тАЭ said Mr.┬аBounderby, тАЬif she takes it in the fainting way, IтАЩll have the skin off her nose, at all events!тАЭ But, in spite of being thus forearmed, he entered his own house with anything but a courageous air; and appeared before the object of his misgivings, like a dog who was conscious of coming direct from the pantry. + 

тАЬGood evening, Mr.┬аBounderby!тАЭ + 

тАЬGood evening, maтАЩam, good evening.тАЭ He drew up his chair, and Mrs.┬аSparsit drew back hers, as who should say, тАЬYour fireside, sir. I freely admit it. It is for you to occupy it all, if you think proper.тАЭ + 

тАЬDonтАЩt go to the North Pole, maтАЩam!тАЭ said Mr.┬аBounderby. + 

тАЬThank you, sir,тАЭ said Mrs.┬аSparsit, and returned, though short of her former position. + 

Mr.┬аBounderby sat looking at her, as, with the points of a stiff, sharp pair of scissors, she picked out holes for some inscrutable ornamental purpose, in a piece of cambric. An operation which, taken in connection with the bushy eyebrows and the Roman nose, suggested with some liveliness the idea of a hawk engaged upon the eyes of a tough little bird. She was so steadfastly occupied, that many minutes elapsed before she looked up from her work; when she did so Mr.┬аBounderby bespoke her attention with a hitch of his head. + 

тАЬMrs.┬аSparsit, maтАЩam,тАЭ said Mr.┬аBounderby, putting his hands in his pockets, and assuring himself with his right hand that the cork of the little bottle was ready for use, тАЬI have no occasion to say to you, that you are not only a lady born and bred, but a devilish sensible woman.тАЭ + 

тАЬSir,тАЭ returned the lady, тАЬthis is indeed not the first time that you have honoured me with similar expressions of your good opinion.тАЭ + 

тАЬMrs.┬аSparsit, maтАЩam,тАЭ said Mr.┬аBounderby, тАЬI am going to astonish you.тАЭ + 

тАЬYes, sir?тАЭ returned Mrs.┬аSparsit, interrogatively, and in the most tranquil manner possible. She generally wore mittens, and she now laid down her work, and smoothed those mittens. + 

тАЬI am going, maтАЩam,тАЭ said Bounderby, тАЬto marry Tom GradgrindтАЩs daughter.тАЭ + 

тАЬYes, sir,тАЭ returned Mrs.┬аSparsit. тАЬI hope you may be happy, Mr.┬аBounderby. Oh, indeed I hope you may be happy, sir!тАЭ And she said it with such great condescension as well as with such great compassion for him, that BounderbyтБатАФfar more disconcerted than if she had thrown her workbox at the mirror, or swooned on the hearthrugтБатАФcorked up the smelling-salts tight in his pocket, and thought, тАЬNow confound this woman, who could have even guessed that she would take it in this way!тАЭ + 

тАЬI wish with all my heart, sir,тАЭ said Mrs.┬аSparsit, in a highly superior manner; somehow she seemed, in a moment, to have established a right to pity him ever afterwards; тАЬthat you may be in all respects very happy.тАЭ + 

тАЬWell, maтАЩam,тАЭ returned Bounderby, with some resentment in his tone: which was clearly lowered, though in spite of himself, тАЬI am obliged to you. I hope I shall be.тАЭ + 

тАЬDo you, sir!тАЭ said Mrs.┬аSparsit, with great affability. тАЬBut naturally you do; of course you do.тАЭ + 

A very awkward pause on Mr.┬аBounderbyтАЩs part, succeeded. Mrs.┬аSparsit sedately resumed her work and occasionally gave a small cough, which sounded like the cough of conscious strength and forbearance. + 

тАЬWell, maтАЩam,тАЭ resumed Bounderby, тАЬunder these circumstances, I imagine it would not be agreeable to a character like yours to remain here, though you would be very welcome here.тАЭ + 

тАЬOh, dear no, sir, I could on no account think of that!тАЭ Mrs.┬аSparsit shook her head, still in her highly superior manner, and a little changed the small coughтБатАФcoughing now, as if the spirit of prophecy rose within her, but had better be coughed down. + 

тАЬHowever, maтАЩam,тАЭ said Bounderby, тАЬthere are apartments at the Bank, where a born and bred lady, as keeper of the place, would be rather a catch than otherwise; and if the same termsтБатАФтАЭ + 

тАЬI beg your pardon, sir. You were so good as to promise that you would always substitute the phrase, annual compliment.тАЭ + 

тАЬWell, maтАЩam, annual compliment. If the same annual compliment would be acceptable there, why, I see nothing to part us, unless you do.тАЭ + 

тАЬSir,тАЭ returned Mrs.┬аSparsit. тАЬThe proposal is like yourself, and if the position I shall assume at the Bank is one that I could occupy without descending lower in the social scaleтБатАФтАЭ + 

тАЬWhy, of course it is,тАЭ said Bounderby. тАЬIf it was not, maтАЩam, you donтАЩt suppose that I should offer it to a lady who has moved in the society you have moved in. Not that I care for such society, you know! But you do.тАЭ + 

тАЬMr.┬аBounderby, you are very considerate.тАЭ + 

тАЬYouтАЩll have your own private apartments, and youтАЩll have your coals and your candles, and all the rest of it, and youтАЩll have your maid to attend upon you, and youтАЩll have your light porter to protect you, and youтАЩll be what I take the liberty of considering precious comfortable,тАЭ said Bounderby. + 

тАЬSir,тАЭ rejoined Mrs.┬аSparsit, тАЬsay no more. In yielding up my trust here, I shall not be freed from the necessity of eating the bread of dependence:тАЭ she might have said the sweetbread, for that delicate article in a savoury brown sauce was her favourite supper: тАЬand I would rather receive it from your hand, than from any other. Therefore, sir, I accept your offer gratefully, and with many sincere acknowledgments for past favours. And I hope, sir,тАЭ said Mrs.┬аSparsit, concluding in an impressively compassionate manner, тАЬI fondly hope that Miss Gradgrind may be all you desire, and deserve!тАЭ + 

Nothing moved Mrs.┬аSparsit from that position any more. It was in vain for Bounderby to bluster or to assert himself in any of his explosive ways; Mrs.┬аSparsit was resolved to have compassion on him, as a victim. She was polite, obliging, cheerful, hopeful; but, the more polite, the more obliging, the more cheerful, the more hopeful, the more exemplary altogether, she; the forlorner sacrifice and victim, he. She had that tenderness for his melancholy fate, that his great red countenance used to break out into cold perspirations when she looked at him. + 

Meanwhile the marriage was appointed to be solemnized in eight weeksтАЩ time, and Mr.┬аBounderby went every evening to Stone Lodge as an accepted wooer. Love was made on these occasions in the form of bracelets; and, on all occasions during the period of betrothal, took a manufacturing aspect. Dresses were made, jewellery was made, cakes and gloves were made, settlements were made, and an extensive assortment of Facts did appropriate honour to the contract. The business was all Fact, from first to last. The Hours did not go through any of those rosy performances, which foolish poets have ascribed to them at such times; neither did the clocks go any faster, or any slower, than at other seasons. The deadly statistical recorder in the Gradgrind observatory knocked every second on the head as it was born, and buried it with his accustomed regularity. + 

So the day came, as all other days come to people who will only stick to reason; and when it came, there were married in the church of the florid wooden legsтБатАФthat popular order of architectureтБатАФJosiah Bounderby Esquire of Coketown, to Louisa eldest daughter of Thomas Gradgrind Esquire of Stone Lodge, M.P. for that borough. And when they were united in holy matrimony, they went home to breakfast at Stone Lodge aforesaid. + 

There was an improving party assembled on the auspicious occasion, who knew what everything they had to eat and drink was made of, and how it was imported or exported, and in what quantities, and in what bottoms, whether native or foreign, and all about it. The bridesmaids, down to little Jane Gradgrind, were, in an intellectual point of view, fit helpmates for the calculating boy; and there was no nonsense about any of the company. + 

After breakfast, the bridegroom addressed them in the following terms: + 

тАЬLadies and gentlemen, I am Josiah Bounderby of Coketown. Since you have done my wife and myself the honour of drinking our healths and happiness, I suppose I must acknowledge the same; though, as you all know me, and know what I am, and what my extraction was, you wonтАЩt expect a speech from a man who, when he sees a post, says тАШthatтАЩs a post,тАЩ and when he sees a pump, says тАШthatтАЩs a pump,тАЩ and is not to be got to call a post a pump, or a pump a post, or either of them a toothpick. If you want a speech this morning, my friend and father-in-law, Tom Gradgrind, is a Member of Parliament, and you know where to get it. I am not your man. However, if I feel a little independent when I look around this table today, and reflect how little I thought of marrying Tom GradgrindтАЩs daughter when I was a ragged street-boy, who never washed his face unless it was at a pump, and that not oftener than once a fortnight, I hope I may be excused. So, I hope you like my feeling independent; if you donтАЩt, I canтАЩt help it. I do feel independent. Now I have mentioned, and you have mentioned, that I am this day married to Tom GradgrindтАЩs daughter. I am very glad to be so. It has long been my wish to be so. I have watched her bringing-up, and I believe she is worthy of me. At the same timeтБатАФnot to deceive youтБатАФI believe I am worthy of her. So, I thank you, on both our parts, for the goodwill you have shown towards us; and the best wish I can give the unmarried part of the present company, is this: I hope every bachelor may find as good a wife as I have found. And I hope every spinster may find as good a husband as my wife has found.тАЭ + 

Shortly after which oration, as they were going on a nuptial trip to Lyons, in order that Mr.┬аBounderby might take the opportunity of seeing how the hands got on in those parts, and whether they, too, required to be fed with gold spoons; the happy pair departed for the railroad. The bride, in passing downstairs, dressed for her journey, found Tom waiting for herтБатАФflushed, either with his feelings, or the vinous part of the breakfast. + 

тАЬWhat a game girl you are, to be such a first-rate sister, Loo!тАЭ whispered Tom. + 

She clung to him as she should have clung to some far better nature that day, and was a little shaken in her reserved composure for the first time. + 

тАЬOld BounderbyтАЩs quite ready,тАЭ said Tom. тАЬTimeтАЩs up. Goodbye! I shall be on the lookout for you, when you come back. I say, my dear Loo! AnтАЩt it uncommonly jolly now!тАЭ + 