So now I was proper confused, had I split up with Harry or not?
I thought I was pretty clear during our conversation in the halls before practise, I'm sure I used the words I'm done, we are over . But with him mocking my statement, saying that he thought it was cute that I thought I could leave, does that mean we are still together?
This is part of my reasons for ending things with him, I never got a clear answer from him in regards to anything. He was always happy to leave me guessing, leave me hanging, leaving me to answer them all in my head.
After I cleaned myself off in the shower, and by cleaned off, I mean finished myself off. That damn boy left me so irritated and horny I didn't have a choice. I threw my sweat shirt on and a pair of loose shorts, I was only going home and off to bed anyway so I didn't really care what I was wearing.
I glided across the parking lot heading toward my car, I assumed it would be the only one left in the lot anyway, but as I approached closer, I couldn't help but notice that there was something off about it, my tyre. WHAT THE FUCK! My tyre had been punctured and was completely flat.
To make matters worse, I didn't even have a spare on me as I had been meaning to get it fixed after getting a screw punctured in it.
The light mist of the night's rain begun to fall upon me. Fuck sake, I couldn't even walk home either. I fish my hand inside my duffle to retrieve my phone, surely mum would be able to come give me a lift, I'll sort out the tyre tomorrow afternoon. As I tap the screen, I'm welcomed with a stubborn blank screen from the battery dying out. You've got to be kidding me.
Who the hell did I murder in a past life to deserve this shit.
I throw the phone back into the duffle and throw my hood on over my hair, as if it were going to in any way protect me from being further drenched.
"Having car trouble?" I'm stunned by his sudden voice coming up behind me in the lot. Of course! How didn't I see this before.
"It was YOU! You did this to my tyre didn't you?" I bellowed pointing my finger up close to his face as he closed the space between us.
He looks up at me through his eyebrows as he runs his finger across his lips, looking the upmost unimpressed with my accusation. "You think I did this to your car?" he mutters through his fingers that were still place on the corner of his lip.
"I wouldn't put it past you Harry!" I throw back, no matter how much this man intimidated me, I never really felt scared. I knew I was submissive to him, but I quietly enjoyed that.
"Took your time in there, busy were you?" he mocks changing the subject, along with his tone.
I couldn't contain my jaw from dropping as well as the embarrassment washing across my face. I stutter out a jumble of words before he folds the corners of his mouth up into a smirk. "Hey, if I knew I got you that raddled up, I would have stayed and finished the job" he coos.
I roll my eyes at him and shake my head. Which I instantly regret as I feel his body push hard up against me pinning me between him and my car.
I look up at him and catch my breath, holding my immediate inhale tight in my lungs.
"You know what you do to me when you roll your eyes at me like that Louis" his voice changes to a silent rumble as he closes in and places his lips up against my ear. "But I prefer it when they are rolling back in lust of my lips around that perfect cock of yours"
My eyes quickly dart off to the side and I swallow harshly at his words, pinching my thighs together as my core sure as hell responded to his statement.
"Harry, I - erm," Great use of words there Louis, good to see you got a set of balls on you when it comes to standing up to this man.
I'm made speechless as the lips that were once whispering in my ear are now wrapped around the lobe of my ear applying a small sucking motion as his hand slips around the curve of my waist pulling me against him.
I refuse to let my eyes close at the sensation his lips are bringing to my sensitive areas, but I'm struggling. "You what Louis?" I hear his simple question rattle the entirety of my body.
Damn you Harry!
"I want, ergh, Har, I want" I moan out, attempting to get the words out of me as his teasing tongue traces the alphabet across the sensitivity of my neck, in all my favourite places. I clench my eyes and swallow every vulnerability in me. "I want you to drive me home, please" I say in a concrete tone, showing absolutely no lust in my voice what so ever.
His lips pause on my neck and he immediately pulls his eyes back to see how serious mine have become.
"What'd you just say to me?" he hisses between his teeth as I watch his jawline tighten.
I smirk at him seductively. "I did say please, Harry" I mumble, snaking my own hands around the base of his black shirt. This man may know how to play on my wants, but I know just as much how to play on his. "You do like it when I use my manners don't you?" I whisper to him as I pull tight on his shirt so our bodies are pressed together firmly.
His eyes dart between both of mine and I see his Adams apple dance as he swallows, and I can't help but feel pride as I know I've got him flustered yet again. No matter how much he dominates me in this 'relationship'. I know that I can always get him worked up just as much.
"Get in the car Louis" he orders giving my hip a tight squeeze before removing his hand from my skin and pulls away from me as he starts to walk back to where his car was parked.
My body remains frozen for a moment, attempting to wrap my head around the situation that I've gotten myself in somehow.
I just can't seem to stay away from this boy.
I follow him after making sure my car was locked, and hop into the passenger seat throwing my duffle bag into the back seat.
Our ride back to my house was in complete silence, which I both appreciated and was irritated by. He focuses solely on the road and my attention went between looking at him and also out my window, starring back at my own reflection, wondering how I could be so stupid.
I keep telling him that he's hurting me, I keep telling him that what he does is destroying me, but it's like he just ignores it, he doesn't seem to care what he does to me, it's as if he knows I'm always going to continue to come back. I don't know how many times in the last 2 years I have told him that we were done, but I always just find myself falling back to him.
What he said was right, he would never let me leave, but stupid me never have the courage to stay away.
I think there's a vulnerability in me that always knows that I'll only ever love him, whatever the hold he has on me, whatever it is, it's strong and I know I can't even work out how to break free from his restraint. I guess I could if I really wanted to, but every time I say I'm leaving, I leave a piece of me behind knowing I'll come back.
But this time, I really thought I was done, I really thought I had built up the courage and finally freed myself from his grip, but how could I be so stupid, of course I hadn't. This boy has captive every single last piece of me. I'm never getting out of this alive and I don't even mind.
I can't even say that we would be better as friends, I know that no matter what, as long as this boy is breathing, I want to be inhaling the same toxic oxygen, he is my chaos and I don't even know how to erase him, he's not the antidote, he's the poison.
As the car pulls to a stop out the front of my house, I run my finger back through my hair fighting with the decision to invite him in or send him on his way. Not that he ever waits for the invitation anyway.
"Thanks" I choke out, still not catching his glance, his eyes are dead on the empty road ahead.
I shake my head in frustration and grab my bag from the back seat and open my door to get out.
"We aren't done, right Lou?" I'm interrupted by his question, which takes me back as it almost sounds urgent, like he is afraid of my answer.
I place my hand on the top of the car and lean my head down to him, his eyes finally meeting mine. "I wish I could tell you we are Harry, but something tells me, you and I will never be done" I admit, to both Harry and to myself. He only replies with a slow nod before flicking his eyes to me, "I'll be back later, I need to take care of something first" .
I find myself rolling my eyes again and letting out a staggered breath. Nothings changed, he's always got somewhere to be, something to take care of, but never enlightens me with any of the details.
I enter the house and throw my bag down on the bench seat near the door, welcomed by my younger sisters Hollie and Piper at the door. "It's late, why are you two not asleep?" I ask as I scruff my fingers through the tops of both their heads. My sisters were twins, 8 years old and full of absolute sass. I walk them both up to their room as they climb into their shared bed. They had been this way since they were little, they always slept together.
"Is Harry coming back? We saw his car?" Hollie asks me. They were totally obsessed with Harry. The dominate, intimidating anger filled man that I knew, was always completely contrasted when he was around Hollie and Pip, I even caught him once having a tea party with them in their room. I knew he had a soft side, but my sisters were the only 2 people in this world who ever saw that side of him.
"He's coming later, you two need to go to sleep though, he'll see you in the morning" I inform them, I hoped Harry would still be here in the morning, but nothing with him was every predictable.
Piper, the more sassy one out of the two makes a 'chatterbox' motion with her hand. "You always say he'll be here in the morning, but he never is" she taunts me.
I do fell bad for them, they do love him and sometimes they cop the brunt of his anger issues, he doesn't mean to hurt them, I know that, but he can't help it sometimes.
"Come on Pip" I urge as I run my fingers through the back of my hair where it joins to my neck.
"Just don't annoy him Lou, and he will stay" Hollie speaks up and I can't help but laugh at her statement as I pull the blanket up over the two of them.
"I'll try not to" I admit as I give them both a kiss on the tops of their heads and flick the lamp off by their bed. "Now, sleep! I'll see you in the morning" they don't respond to me as I slowly close the door, leaving it open only a fraction to let the light from the hall seep through.
I retreat down to my room, kicking off my shoes and slumping back into my bed, pinching my thumb and index finger on either side of my nose as I clench my eyes tight shut.
I had no idea what I was going to do about Harry.