Chapter One
I didn't know what to do. So I ran.
I ran out of my front door into the pouring rain, the cold shock a small distraction from the ache in my chest. Tears streamed down my face as I ran and ran, blind to where I was going. I ran until my lungs burned, until my legs threatened to buckle.
I sank to the ground in the middle of the road, sobbing into my hands. Hated. The word felt like a brand searing my skin. Hated by my own family, for something I couldn’t control. Cast aside, thrown out, as if seventeen years of love and care meant nothing. But it wasn’t their words, or even their actions, that hurt the most. It was the look on their faces – the undisguised disgust.
How could the two people meant to love you unconditionally be so cruel?
I’d thought coming out would lift a weight. Instead, three more had been piled on. I had no idea what to do now. Returning home felt impossible, but I couldn’t sit in the rain forever.
A dark thought flickered – maybe a car would come along, or the cold would simply…end things. It would be easier.
“Get a grip, Erin,” I muttered, forcing myself to breathe. “You’re better than this.”
Brushing wet hair from my face, I noticed the rain had stopped hitting my shoulders. I looked up to see a black umbrella towering over me, held by a startlingly familiar face.
“You’re Billie Eilish,” I said, stunned.
“Yeah,” she replied, her voice soft. After a moment, she added, “You good?”
Still reeling, I could only manage, “I… I love you.” The words tumbled out before I could stop them.
Billie smiled, a small, gentle curve of her lips. She knelt beside me, wrapping her arms around me.
Mentally berating myself for being so clumsy, I scrambled for something else to say. “Could you maybe… go away, then come back? I can make a better first impression than that.”
Amusement flickered in Billie’s eyes. She stood, took a few steps back, then knelt again.
“Hi,” she said, her voice playful.
“Oh way to go Erin, that's way better.” I thought sarcastically to myself.
“Dude, that’s your idea of a good first impression? I definitely preferred you confessing your undying love for me.”
“…could you maybe—”
“No.”
“Yeah, that’s fair.”
As her smile faded, concern clouded her features. “But for real though, are you okay?”
A humourless laugh escaped my lips. “Could be better.”
I pushed myself up, Billie following suit, the umbrella still shielding us.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked gently, her gaze searching mine. She’d probably seen me sitting in the road, crying. Dramatic, yes.
Even though I had so much to say, I knew I couldn’t burden a stranger – especially not Billie Eilish.
“Thanks, but I better head home.” I lied, knowing I had no home to return to. Staying any longer meant losing control, the tears threatening to spill again, the whole story tumbling out.
“Are you sure?” Billie asked, her voice laced with concern. She placed a hand on my shoulder, her eyes searching mine.
Shit.
My eyes began to water, the memory of the argument with my parents flooding back. Tears streamed down my cheeks, faster than I could wipe them away. My composure crumbled.
“Oh, don’t cry, love.” Billie pulled me against her chest, wrapping her free arm around me.
As awful as it felt to put her in this position, now that I’d started crying, I couldn’t stop. Being held so closely by someone I’d idolized for years only intensified the flood of tears.
She led me off the road and down the footpath, but I was lost in my own head, barely noticing where we were going.
Finally, I glanced up to see we’d stopped in front of a small bungalow. Billie opened the door and gestured for me to follow her inside.
She led me to her room and handed me a spare change of clothes. I hesitated, but she gave me an unimpressed look and pointed towards the bathroom.
“Thank you,” I murmured, then hurried down the hallway.
I changed into Billie’s clothes and stared at my reflection. My green eyes were bloodshot, my curly brown hair damp. Wonderful.
“Came out to my parents, was kicked out, and met Billie Eilish in the same night. What is life?” I asked my reflection.
Letting out another sigh, I walked back to Billie’s room. I had no idea what I was going to say, but I knew I’d find out in a few seconds.