I
As summer drew to a close, Laughing Boy took to spending more time than was necessary with his horses. Sometimes he would crave company, and, if he found it, would be sociable and garrulous; at other times he kept very much to himself. No one who met him then for the first time would have named him “Laughing Boy.” Locally he was known as “Horse Trader,” and latterly one Indian had applied to him, in jest, the name of the legendary character “Turns His Back,” which bade fair to stick. Partly he liked to be away from home because of the chance of a happy return. If she were waiting for him, if she had not been in to town, if he was tired from the long ride and at peace with himself, the old spell would surround them. If she was just back from that work of hers, or if she came in after he did, she overtired, brooding, and a little nervous, it was a failure. Once or twice they quarrelled; she had an amazingly sharp and clever tongue. The quarrels ended in reconciliation and passion which exhausted them both without bringing peace to either.
On one day, when autumn had begun to take the weight out of the noon sunshine, he sat basking on a hillock, smoking, with his pony beside him. He was lazily content, and comfortable enough within himself not to mind the sight of a human approaching. He felt like talking to someone.
The jogging dot drew nearer. Still looking black, the motion of the shoulders told that it was an Indian. Yes, and probably a Navajo, with a flaming scarlet headband. Laughing Boy sat up straight. He knew that bald-faced chestnut, he knew that swing of the whip hand. He made sure. He was surprised, curious, and delighted. What brought his friend so far from home? He rose to his feet. Jesting Squaw’s Son slowed from lope to trot, to a walk, and stopped beside him.
“Ei-yei, my friend!” Laughing Boy took his hand. “It is good to see you!”
“My friend.” He smiled, but he dismounted slowly, and his eyes were hurt. “I am glad to find you.”
“Sit down. A cigarette?”
“Yes.”
“Where are you going?”
“Just riding around.”
“What is the news at T’o Tlakai?”
“All well. Your people are all well. Your sister, the one who married Bay Horse, has a son. The other one has just married Yellow Foot’s Son.”
“Good.”
“There has been good rain, and the traders are paying twenty, twenty-five cents for wool.”
“Good.”
“And you, tell?”
“All well. Our goods sell well, the corn was fine this year. All well.”
They smoked.
“It is good to see you.”
Jesting Squaw’s Son made no answer. Laughing Boy studied him; he was too quiet.
“What brings you so far from home?”
“Nothing, just riding around.”
“You will come to our hogan?”
“Yes.”
They finished their cigarettes, and sat looking at nothing. There was a pleasant, afternoon feeling that tended to make talk slow, the smell of the warm sand, quietness. After about five minutes, Laughing Boy said:
“You might as well show me your true thought. It is all around you like a cloud. It is what you are thinking of all the time you are talking about anything else. You are hurt. What hurts you, whom I have called friend, hurts me.”
“You are right. Give me tobacco.”
He rolled another cigarette and smoked it through before he began to speak.
“You remember that joke we played on Narrow Nose at Gomulli T’o? Do you suppose we did anything bad by accident? Did we start any evil working?”
“What makes you think that?”
“You remember, I said I was bringing back a wife from Maito. That made me wonder. I went to Maito a little while ago.” He was looking at the tips of his fingers. Now he paused.
“We wanted to trade a cow for some sheep. Your brother and White Goat and I were riding along. We saw a Pah-Ute driving a cow he had taken from the Mormons, so we took it away from him. There is no pasture for cattle up there, but we heard of a man at Maito who kept a herd. So we took it down to him. His name is Alkali Water.
“The cow was pretty thin. We were there three nights trading on it.
“I saw his daughter. At the end of the first day I knew that I had been born only for her, that that was what I had always been waiting for. I was all one piece, everything in me was to one purpose. I do not know how to say it.”
“I know.”
“Yes, you know. That is why I am here. I know now why good men sometimes have to do with other people’s wives. I have learned a great deal about myself.
“I shall not try to say what she looked like. What would be the use? She was not small, like your wife; she was strong. Her eyes and mouth were beautiful, she was beautiful, and you could see beauty inside her by her eyes and her mouth.
“We stayed there for three nights, for three nights and two days I was watching her and listening to her. I think she felt as I did; we did not speak to each other, hardly at all. When we went away she looked at me.
“I waited a few days at home. I was very happy; I did not know such happiness could exist. Then I returned to Maito. I wanted to see her again, to be sure, and to find out her clan before I asked my mother to ask for her. I did not want anyone to be able to object, as they might, since she did not live near us.
“I cannot make up songs as you do, but I made up a pretty good one. I sang all along the trail. I neared her hogan galloping and singing the Wildcat Song. She was coming out along the trail towards me. I galloped close to her and reined up short, in a handsome way. She came beside my horse and laid her hand on its neck.
“ ‘My friend,’ she said.
“I was so happy then that there is no name for it. There was no earth under me, I had no limits. Then she went on.
“ ‘You must go away, you must not see me again. I must not see you,’ she said.
“I asked, ‘Why?’
“She said, ‘What is your clan?’
“I told her, ‘I am an Eshlini.’
“She lowered her head, then she looked up again. Her face looked calm, but her eyes were wounded. ‘I, too, am an Eshlini,’ she said.
“We touched hands, and I rode away.”
Jesting Squaw’s Son bowed his head on his knees. Laughing Boy felt his throat hurt, and yet in a curious way he felt better than he had in a long time. He was taken out of himself; he needed something like this.
“I could not go home then. I rode to T’o Atinda Haska Mesa, and went up to the top of it. I have been there a day and two nights. I did not eat. Why should I?
“At first I did not even think. I was just wild at first. All I could do was remember that happiness, that had been for nothing. I felt like asking her to come with me even so. I frightened myself. Am I an animal? Would I sleep with my sister? I did not know what to do. Why could she not have been a Tahtchini or a Lucau or an Eskhontsoni? But it was not her fault. And could I curse my mother because she was not a Bitahni or a T’o Dotsoni or a Nahkai?
“Then I got myself calmer. I could not have her. I made up my mind to it. I accepted it. But I still loved her. I still do. I still remember that happiness.
“That is very bad, it is beastly. My heart must be bad. I am frightened. Perhaps I should kill myself. Why not?
“I came here to see you. I did not want to go home to all my people. Perhaps you can help me. That is all.”
Laughing Boy stared into the ground. He was shocked, and his heart was wrung. He had never imagined that such a thing could happen; had it been told him of some unknown man, he would have supposed there was something bad about him to start with. It was such a disaster as an angry god might send, as though one heard in some legend, “He went mad and fell in love with a woman of his own dan.” But his friend was good, all good. He knew what he was suffering. He remembered his feelings those first days at the dance. He thought hard. They must have sat for half an hour there before he spoke.
“Do not kill yourself. And do not feel ashamed, do not think you have sinned, or your heart is bad. No, you have shown it is good, I think. It would be bad if you kept on wanting to marry her, but what has happened to you is not something you do yourself. It is as though you were shot with an arrow.
“I nearly went away with my wife without asking her clan. We spoke directly to each other, without shame, when we saw there was nothing else to do.
“It is not your fault that you were shot. Suppose you had starved for a week, and some American, trying to be funny, the way they do, offered you fish to eat. If you ate it, it would be bad, but if your belly clamoured for it while you refused it, could you be blamed? No, you would have done a good thing, I think. You have done a good thing, a very hard thing. I think well of you.”
Jesting Squaw’s Son gazed at him searchingly, and saw that he meant what he said.
“I think you are right. You have cured me of a deep wound. Thank you.”
“Let us start home. There are some of my horses in that little canyon, we shall get one, and turn yours loose. It looks thin. There is pasture there, it will not wander.”
They caught fresh horses, and Jesting Squaw’s Son exclaimed at the height of the grass, which in some places grew over a foot, in clumps. There was some like that at Dennihuitso, and in Kiet Siel Buckho, but not at this time of year.
They jog-trotted towards Chiziai, silent most of the time, talking occasionally.
“Up there, now, they do not call you by your old name,” Jesting Squaw’s Son said, and hesitated. Even when he is a close friend, one is not free about discussing a man’s name before him.
“I am not surprised.”
“They call you ‘Went Away.’ Your uncle calls you ‘Blind Eyes.’ ”
“Unh! He would. Well, I am changed, it is right that my name should change.”
Jesting Squaw’s Son trailed his rope to get the kinks out of it. Coiling it again, “But they miss you. You will always be welcome.”
“In the end, we shall return.”
“You live close to the Iron Trail?”
“On the other side of it.”
“Ei-yei! A good place?”
“You will see, a fine place, but we cannot turn our horses out there, as it is Americans’ country.”
“But you are near the Zunis, too.”
“About a day’s hard ride that way. I trade with them—horses for turquoise.”
“Have you any children?”
“Not now. We have a plan. We are making much money now, we are working as hard as we can. You would not believe how fast we make it. In a year or two we shall return to T’o Tlakai; we shall have perhaps fifty, perhaps sixty hundreds of dollars, in money and silver and horses, I think.”
“Ei-yei!”
“We shall be very rich. With that to start on, we shall be rich all our lives. We shall have our children then, we shall have a beautiful life. It is her idea, she thought of it. She takes care of the money, she trades with the Americans. She is remarkable.”
“You must be very happy.”
“I am.” He meant it.