Part 2
*first day of school*
-Harry-
6:20 AM. The time glared back at me from my phone screen. Ugh. Another day, another obligation. School. The word tasted like ash. I dragged myself out of bed, knowing the familiar weight of dread would settle over me before I even opened my eyes.
I stumbled into the bathroom and stared at my reflection. Honestly? It was always the same. A mess. I never understood how I could look so… permanently exhausted. The ends of my hair, long enough to brush my ears, curled inward, almost pleading for order. I ran a hand through it, smoothing the front over, trying to will it into something presentable. Fine. Just like everything else. Fine.
Brushing my teeth, splashing water on my face, the motions were automatic. I pulled on black skinny jeans and a hoodie. Simple. Invisible.
Keys grabbed from the table, I headed for my car. Mom was already gone, swallowed by the early morning rush. She left before sunrise, always. I never saw her in the mornings. I wasn’t going to be late, not today. Not for the first day back. Even on a normal day, I'd happily let myself drift in late, but today felt… different. It needed a façade.
The drive was quick. School was close, like everything in this town. Fifteen minutes and I was pulling into the parking lot.
I grabbed my bag and forced a smile onto my face. A mask. I didn't want anyone to see what was under there. The depression felt like a shadow clinging to my skin, and I hated the idea of anyone noticing. It was embarrassing, really. A weakness I kept locked away, whispered to only a handful of people.
I walked toward Niall and Liam, already standing near the entrance.
“Hey!” Liam called out.
“Hi!” I mumbled, trying to sound cheerful.
“Hey, Harry,” Niall yawned, stretching.
“You look wrecked.”
“Got maybe three hours of sleep.”
“Why?”
“Couldn’t sleep.”
“I was out like a light,” Liam muttered.
“Not all of us are so lucky, Li,” Niall snapped back. Liam smacked his shoulder.
“Okay, children.” I rolled my eyes.
“Harry, don't you *dare* call us children. We're big kids,” Liam said, grinning. Niall laughed. I managed a small chuckle. It felt… easier, being around them. A little less heavy.
Then the bell rang, and the tide of students began to flow. I was off to physics. A class filled with seniors. I hadn’t really spoken to any of them before. Not that it mattered. I don’t speak to many people. I continued walking down the hall, finally finding the room. A few students were already seated. I took a seat next to the empty chairs, hoping for anonymity. Maybe I’d get lucky and not have to sit next to anyone.
A group of boys walked in. One of them was Louis Tomlinson. We used to be friends. I didn’t know what happened, exactly. Maybe it was my family issues. Maybe it was the depression starting to bloom. I wasn't sure. He just… drifted away. We’d exchange the occasional ‘hello’ in the hallway, but that was it. Louis took a seat in front of me. Before sitting down, he nodded his head. A subtle hello. I nodded back. It always felt… awkward. Probably because of our past friendship and because he was popular now. I wasn't. I deliberately avoided the bigger crowds. I didn’t like being swamped by people.
The teacher settled into her chair.
“Hello class. I'm excited for this year. I hope you are as well. We are going to start off with something that may seem juvenile, but I would like to get to know you. So let's start with your name and maybe what you are looking forward to this year or a goal of yours. I'll start. My name is Miss Andrews and I hope that I can make school a better learning experience for all of you. Next let's see.” She looked around the classroom and met my eyes.
“Go ahead, honey.”
Shit. I pointed to myself, hoping she’d pick someone else. She nodded.
“Oh umm. Okay. Hello.” Everyone turned around in their chairs. “My name is Harry Styles. I hope that I can maintain my good grades this year.” Miss Andrews smiled at me.
“Okay we will just go up from your row.”
“Hi! My name is Louis Tomlinson. My goal is to enjoy school more and make it ummm well more enjoyable.” He laughed, a small, familiar giggle. That's one thing I remembered about him. He used to do that when we were kids.
“Nice to meet you,” Miss Andrews said.
We finally got through everyone in the class. Thank goodness. It felt like an eternity. The bell rang just after the last person finished. I rushed out of class and toward my next. I was stopped by Niall.
“H, you will never guess who is in my class.”
“Who?” I whispered, bracing myself.
“Lilly.”
“Congrats, Ni!”
“Shhh. She's over there. Okay see ya.”
“Bye.” He walked away, radiating excitement.
Niall always wanted someone. More than a friend. When we were kids, he’d talk about meeting the prettiest girl and marrying her. I’d laughed at him. I didn't understand it. I believed there was someone out there, somewhere, but I didn’t think I’d find them. I was scared I’d find the wrong person. I wanted to love someone, but I didn’t want to waste my time.
I made my way to English, the next class. I had it with Liam. I slid into the back row, next to him, who was already there.
“Hey H!”
“Hey.”
“Did you hear about Niall?”
“And Lilly?”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah I did.”
“He’s so excited.”
“I know.” I laughed.
The teacher didn’t introduce herself, which I found rude. Her name was already scrawled on the board. She just handed out a student survey. I hated these. The first question: “How do you feel about working with a group?” I answered quickly. I don’t like working in a group. I flipped the paper over to see how many questions there were.
Fifty.
Oh my god.
I let out a sigh.
“What’s wrong?” Liam asked.
“Did you see how many questions there were?”
“No.”
“Flip your paper over.” He flipped it over.
“Oh my—”
“Boys, can you stop talking? Thank you.” Mrs. Wilson snapped, her voice sharp. I tilted my head down. Yep. This was going to be the worst class of all.