Slight Kunikidazai if you squint and fall down two flights of stairs
I'm eepy tbh
I have a dysfunctional household core. 😭🙏😍😋😝😖😜🥳🤪😘🥶💀
I'm literally Edogawa Ranpo wdym bro
The next day arrived, though y couldn't seem to get up. The pain in his right arm was unbearable, considering how deep he cut. Maybe he would just not go to work, take a quick break.
No, that would be weird. Everyone noticed something was off about him, he didn't need more eyes on him.
Dazai got up, despite the crawling feeling of being attached to the bed. He put on his coat. He really couldn't seem to motivate himself to move any further. His arms ached, especially his right arm. He cut it so deep he was sure he hit bone. Maybe even made some marrow leak out. That thought wasn't as disturbing to him as it should've been. It was more intriguing. He could cut deep enough to feel light headed? It was like a dose of death, but without the struggle of actually dying. He sighed, finally finding the strength to force himself out of his house and other the path that lead to the agency.
As Dazai walked in, he was greeted by a couple glances at him, and a concerned one from Atsushi. He sighed, sitting down in a relaxed position at his desk. "Da-Dazai..?" He glanced at Atsushi. "I smell blood on you..again.. did you get in a fight last night or something?" He chuckled. "No, I'm not sure why you smell blood. Maybe it's my bandages, after all they did have to help with blood yesterday." Atsushi nodded, a slight amount of relief rushing into his brain.
Despite the fact he smelt a lot of blood. Fresh blood.
As Dazai sat in his desk, listening to music as he filled out reports, a pricking feeling tugged at his arm, as if cutting was a need. Before yesterday, he hadn't cut for maybe two weeks, longer than usual. It was more out of fear. How weak of him. But reasonable, in his eyes, if it was weak that was fine as long as he prevented others from seeing him in an even weaker state. Was it weak to cut? Or was it weak to not tell others. He wasn't sure. If it was weak to cut, that would make him weak. Pathetic, even. He did so many things that were weak. He refused to eat, because he disliked having things under his skin. He refused to stay clean for longer than a month. Some days he missed the mafia, because he didn't have to be nervous about those around him finding out about him cutting. They all knew, at least most of them, they just didn't care. Dazai didn't necessarily like when people didn't care, it just made things easier. He was a demon, so why should they, even?
He got up from his desk, leaving a slightly somber environment surrounding Atsushi.
Atsushi went to talk to Ranpo.
Recently Ranpo had been getting a lot of slightly concerning reports relating Dazai. Unlike the others, he was aware that Dazai mental health wasn't.. great. The others knew of his suicide attempts, sure, but they took them as jokes. Morbid ones at that. The only ones in the agency who seemed to be concerned besides him were Atsushi and Fukuzawa. The only person Dazai actually talked to out of the three was Atsushi, since he didn't quite have a good bond with Dazai and Dazai never really had need, or rather wanted to talk to the President. Anyways, when Ranpo got news of some things concerning Dazai, he felt need to dig deeper.
But this wasn't easy. As much as it hurt his ego, he had to admit Dazai was incredibly smart, even if not as smart as him. Dazai noticed when he started eyeing him, and Dazai avoided this. He walked away when he saw him, he avoided him. Dazai knew he was watching him, and this was an issue considering he was trying to be discreet about this.
He wished he could approach Dazai and get an answer about what was going on, but he figured he was just going to get a lie or a not completely straight answer about what was actually going on with him. Though, as a detective, he probably should despite the aforementioned difficulties.
...
Dazai was sitting in the cafe below the agency, trying to avoid the others. More specifically, Ranpo. This is maybe the third time he spotted the detective watching him. He had an idea of why, but wasn't sure. He had been acting..weird. Maybe cause he relapsed. Probably. His mind was clouded by the urge to go home. Go home and cut. Slash and maul his arms and wrists till you couldn't even recognize it as a human limb. Considering he was a demon, maybe he very well should do that.
His silent pondering of what to do was interrupted by Ranpo walking up to him, sitting across from him in the booth he was at. "Ranpo~! Good to see you, detective!" Truth be told, he wasn't nearly as ecstatic as he was acting. Ranpo wasn't exactly a person he disliked, but he was a person he had a fear of. That fear only rested in the back of his mind, but it was the fact he was smarter than him. He could figure out something about him so quickly. Lucky for him he was good at putting up facades so often they often mesh with his "real" personality. What is that personality? He couldn't tell you. Can one really have a personality if they're numb? He questions himself till Ranpo speaks up. "Dazai, I've recently heard reports of you acting off." "Oh..That's unfortunate, I'm doing just fine if you're wondering~" Dazai put his arms behind his head in a carefree position. He was not carefree. Why were reports about him being given to Ranpo? His coworkers were not very trustworthy, he already knew this. But reporting every strange thing he did? What else did they know? What had he done that warranted reports on his behaviour? Was everyone watching him? "..That's what I thought, but.. Recently I've heard that fresh blood has been smelt on you, on multiple occasions. Most notably, a large amount of it was smelt today." Dazai smiled. "Oh? That's odd.. I thought it was just the blood soaked up from my injury yesterday?" "..You cut yourself with a kitchen knife, right? I thought you don't often cook, was it for a special occasion?" Dazai nodded. "Yeah, it was by accident, I'm not that good at cooking, really. But no, i just felt like cooking." Ranpo nodded, taking a mental note of Dazai's words. "What do you suppose the blood was, then?" "I dunno, Atsushi didn't tell me he smelt fresh blood, or a lot of it. I just assumed it was the old blood from yesterday still on my bandages." Ranpo stood up, grabbing a sweet from his pocket. "I suppose the blood could be from something near you? I'll have to ask Atsushi. Maybe check with Yosano? Could be internal bleeding, but I'm not sure if Atsushi can sense that." Dazai nodded
Ranpo was unsure if the conversation he just had with Dazai was entirely truthful. It was always hard to tell if he was telling the truth, though. You could never tell what he was feeling. Never tell what was going on. That's what made investigating this fun!
Dazai was annoyed. Even if he didn't show it. He knew Ranpo was interrogating his coworkers trying to get a grasp of what was going on. He knew the detective was watching him. He wanted to go home. He hated having eyes on him. He hated knowing people knew more than he did, or even just knowing people knew something that he didn't want them to. If they found out he cut, they would watch him. They would know something. They would be worried. Ha! What a stupid thing, worried for a demon..
His eyes drifted to his arm as he sat in his desk. It was sore, but not bad enough that he couldn't cut when he got home. He could just go for the other arm if it was too bad, but he has good pain resistance. He'll be fine. If he's not what does it matter? The agency sure won't care, he's a demon. He deserves to die.
Maybe he could call someone after cutting, leave the blood running. See how long it takes for him to get lightheaded and end the call. Anyone in the agency was out of the question. He considered Kunikida, but the idiot would tell Ranpo if he was acting weird. Chuuya? He wasn't in the agency, and probably wouldn't give a shit if he died. Hopefully he wouldn't. He hoped he wouldn't. He wouldn't.
..right?
Well, that's what he told himself as the day went on. As the eyes on him grew in numbers. The whole agency knew something was wrong, and the only one with the guts to ask him about it was one of the people he was scared of.
On the plus side, it was finally the end of the day. Much to his relief. Not to his relief, Kunikida stopped him at the door. "Kunikida! What do I owe the pleasure?" Kunikida sighed "Look, Ranpo asked me to..Check on you, Are you okay?" "Uhm.. I'm fine, not sure what he's on about~" "You doubt the detectives word?" Dazai paused for a moment then smiled "I dont doubt Ranpo, it's simply the fact that I'm doing fine." "...Okay. Whatever." Kunikida sighed, frustrated. "..I've been wondering, what was that odd phone call about?" "What do you mean? I don't remember any weird phone call in the past few days.. I must be losing my memory!!" "..." Dazai sighed before remembering what Kunikida was most likely referring to. "Ohhhh! You mean when I called you yesterday?" Kunikida nodded "Finally you got the memo." "I was gonna ask you something, but I decided against it~!" Kunikida pulled out his notebook, flipping to a recent page. "You mentioned something happening, what was going to happen?" "..uhhhhh.. I forgot" Kunikida groaned with frustration "Waste of bandages!" "Your words hurt me Kunkida-kun~"
Maybe it was a mistake letting Dazai go home alone.
Maybe "Maybe" was an understatement.
Maybe Dazai knew he shouldn't have let himself go home alone.
Maybe that's why his phone was clutched in his hand with a shaky grasp, most of Chuuya's phone number entered into it as he slid the freshly sharpened razor across his right arm as blood fell softly onto the ground.
And maybe that's why he called his ex partner in a rush as his arm bled out, a feeling of urgency to simply talk to someone. Get someone to talk him out of doing any more damage than he had already done.
"Mackerel?! What do you even want?!"
"Heyyy chibi!" He felt panicked. Why was his voice shaky? So weak of him.
"Are you on the run or something? Your voice is shaky. And, why did you even call me?!"
"..Uhmmm.." he stared down at the bloodied arm he just mangled. "You know what, never mind." This wasn't worth it. He doesn't need comfort. He's not a child and he never was.
"..Mackerel, why did you call me?"
Well shit. How is he supposed to answer that? 'Oh I just mauled my arm! Wondering if you could comfort me by convincing me to not do that again!!' Hell no. "..Bye chibiii~!"
Great, leave one of the few people that cares about you, a demon, confused.
He felt numb, maybe calling Chuuya in the first place was useless. He constantly felt numb, though. There was no new revelations there.
He cleaned his arm. What for. Why does he wear bandages? To hide like a coward. So no one knows.
Though, a certain detective might have an indea of what's going on. He just needs a bit more evidence.