вАЬMiss Swancourt, it is eleven oвАЩclock.вАЭ
She was looking out of her dressing-room window on the first floor, and Knight was regarding her from the terrace balustrade, upon which he had been idly sitting for some timeвБ†вАФdividing the glances of his eye between the pages of a book in his hand, the brilliant hues of the geraniums and calceolarias, and the open window above-mentioned.
вАЬYes, it is, I know. I am coming.вАЭ
He drew closer, and under the window.
вАЬHow are you this morning, Elfride? You look no better for your long nightвАЩs rest.вАЭ
She appeared at the door shortly after, took his offered arm, and together they walked slowly down the gravel path leading to the river and away under the trees.
Her resolution, sustained during the last fifteen hours, had been to tell the whole truth, and now the moment had come.
Step by step they advanced, and still she did not speak. They were nearly at the end of the walk, when Knight broke the silence.
вАЬWell, what is the confession, Elfride?вАЭ
She paused a moment, drew a long breath; and this is what she said:
вАЬI told you one dayвБ†вАФor rather I gave you to understandвБ†вАФwhat was not true. I fancy you thought me to mean I was nineteen my next birthday, but it was my last I was nineteen.вАЭ
The moment had been too much for her. Now that the crisis had come, no qualms of conscience, no love of honesty, no yearning to make a confidence and obtain forgiveness with a kiss, could string Elfride up to the venture. Her dread lest he should be unforgiving was heightened by the thought of yesterdayвАЩs artifice, which might possibly add disgust to his disappointment. The certainty of one more dayвАЩs affection, which she gained by silence, outvalued the hope of a perpetuity combined with the risk of all.
The trepidation caused by these thoughts on what she had intended to say shook so naturally the words she did say, that Knight never for a moment suspected them to be a last momentвАЩs substitution. He smiled and pressed her hand warmly.
вАЬMy dear ElfieвБ†вАФyes, you are nowвБ†вАФno protestationвБ†вАФwhat a winning little woman you are, to be so absurdly scrupulous about a mere iota! Really, I never once have thought whether your nineteenth year was the last or the present. And, by George, well I may not; for it would never do for a staid fogey a dozen years older to stand upon such a trifle as that.вАЭ
вАЬDonвАЩt praise meвБ†вАФdonвАЩt praise me! Though I prize it from your lips, I donвАЩt deserve it now.вАЭ
But Knight, being in an exceptionally genial mood, merely saw this distressful exclamation as modesty. вАЬWell,вАЭ he added, after a minute, вАЬI like you all the better, you know, for such moral precision, although I called it absurd.вАЭ He went on with tender earnestness: вАЬFor, Elfride, there is one thing I do love to see in a womanвБ†вАФthat is, a soul truthful and clear as heavenвАЩs light. I could put up with anything if I had thatвБ†вАФforgive nothing if I had it not. Elfride, you have such a soul, if ever woman had; and having it, retain it, and donвАЩt ever listen to the fashionable theories of the day about a womanвАЩs privileges and natural right to practise wiles. Depend upon it, my dear girl, that a noble woman must be as honest as a noble man. I specially mean by honesty, fairness not only in matters of business and social detail, but in all the delicate dealings of love, to which the licence given to your sex particularly refers.вАЭ
Elfride looked troublously at the trees.
вАЬNow let us go on to the river, Elfie.вАЭ
вАЬI would if I had a hat on,вАЭ she said with a sort of suppressed woe.
вАЬI will get it for you,вАЭ said Knight, very willing to purchase her companionship at so cheap a price. вАЬYou sit down there a minute.вАЭ And he turned and walked rapidly back to the house for the article in question.
Elfride sat down upon one of the rustic benches which adorned this portion of the grounds, and remained with her eyes upon the grass. She was induced to lift them by hearing the brush of light and irregular footsteps hard by. Passing along the path which intersected the one she was in and traversed the outer shrubberies, Elfride beheld the farmerвАЩs widow, Mrs.¬†Jethway. Before she noticed Elfride, she paused to look at the house, portions of which were visible through the bushes. Elfride, shrinking back, hoped the unpleasant woman might go on without seeing her. But Mrs.¬†Jethway, silently apostrophizing the house, with actions which seemed dictated by a half-overturned reason, had discerned the girl, and immediately came up and stood in front of her.
вАЬAh, Miss Swancourt! Why did you disturb me? MustnвАЩt I trespass here?вАЭ
вАЬYou may walk here if you like, Mrs.¬†Jethway. I do not disturb you.вАЭ
вАЬYou disturb my mind, and my mind is my whole life; for my boy is there still, and he is gone from my body.вАЭ
вАЬYes, poor young man. I was sorry when he died.вАЭ
вАЬDo you know what he died of?вАЭ
вАЬConsumption.вАЭ
вАЬOh no, no!вАЭ said the widow. вАЬThat word вАШconsumptionвАЩ covers a good deal. He died because you were his own well-agreed sweetheart, and then proved falseвБ†вАФand it killed him. Yes, Miss Swancourt,вАЭ she said in an excited whisper, вАЬyou killed my son!вАЭ
вАЬHow can you be so wicked and foolish!вАЭ replied Elfride, rising indignantly. But indignation was not natural to her, and having been so worn and harrowed by late events, she lost any powers of defence that mood might have lent her. вАЬI could not help his loving me, Mrs.¬†Jethway!вАЭ
вАЬThatвАЩs just what you could have helped. You know how it began, Miss Elfride. Yes: you said you liked the name of Felix better than any other name in the parish, and you knew it was his name, and that those you said it to would report it to him.вАЭ
вАЬI knew it was his nameвБ†вАФof course I did; but I am sure, Mrs.¬†Jethway, I did not intend anybody to tell him.вАЭ
вАЬBut you knew they would.вАЭ
вАЬNo, I didnвАЩt.вАЭ
вАЬAnd then, after that, when you were riding on Revels-day by our house, and the lads were gathered there, and you wanted to dismount, when Jim Drake and George Upway and three or four more ran forward to hold your pony, and Felix stood back timid, why did you beckon to him, and say you would rather he held it?вАЭ
вАЬO Mrs.¬†Jethway, you do think so mistakenly! I liked him bestвБ†вАФthatвАЩs why I wanted him to do it. He was gentle and niceвБ†вАФI always thought him soвБ†вАФand I liked him.вАЭ
вАЬThen why did you let him kiss you?вАЭ
вАЬIt is a falsehood; oh, it is, it is!вАЭ said Elfride, weeping with desperation. вАЬHe came behind me, and attempted to kiss me; and that was why I told him never to let me see him again.вАЭ
вАЬBut you did not tell your father or anybody, as you would have if you had looked upon it then as the insult you now pretend it was.вАЭ
вАЬHe begged me not to tell, and foolishly enough I did not. And I wish I had now. I little expected to be scourged with my own kindness. Pray leave me, Mrs.¬†Jethway.вАЭ The girl only expostulated now.
вАЬWell, you harshly dismissed him, and he died. And before his body was cold, you took another to your heart. Then as carelessly sent him about his business, and took a third. And if you consider that nothing, Miss Swancourt,вАЭ she continued, drawing closer; вАЬit led on to what was very serious indeed. Have you forgotten the would-be runaway marriage? The journey to London, and the return the next day without being married, and that thereвАЩs enough disgrace in that to ruin a womanвАЩs good name far less light than yours? You may have: I have not. Fickleness towards a lover is bad, but fickleness after playing the wife is wantonness.вАЭ
вАЬOh, itвАЩs a wicked cruel lie! Do not say it; oh, do not!вАЭ
вАЬDoes your new man know of it? I think not, or he would be no man of yours! As much of the story as was known is creeping about the neighbourhood even now; but I know more than any of them, and why should I respect your love?вАЭ
вАЬI defy you!вАЭ cried Elfride tempestuously. вАЬDo and say all you can to ruin me; try; put your tongue at work; I invite it! I defy you as a slanderous woman! Look, there he comes.вАЭ And her voice trembled greatly as she saw through the leaves the beloved form of Knight coming from the door with her hat in his hand. вАЬTell him at once; I can bear it.вАЭ
вАЬNot now,вАЭ said the woman, and disappeared down the path.
The excitement of her latter words had restored colour to ElfrideвАЩs cheeks; and hastily wiping her eyes, she walked farther on, so that by the time her lover had overtaken her the traces of emotion had nearly disappeared from her face. Knight put the hat upon her head, took her hand, and drew it within his arm.
It was the last day but one previous to their departure for St.¬†Leonards; and Knight seemed to have a purpose in being much in her company that day. They rambled along the valley. The season was that period in the autumn when the foliage alone of an ordinary plantation is rich enough in hues to exhaust the chromatic combinations of an artistвАЩs palette. Most lustrous of all are the beeches, graduating from bright rusty red at the extremity of the boughs to a bright yellow at their inner parts; young oaks are still of a neutral green; Scotch firs and hollies are nearly blue; whilst occasional dottings of other varieties give maroons and purples of every tinge.
The riverвБ†вАФsuch as it wasвБ†вАФhere pursued its course amid flagstones as level as a pavement, but divided by crevices of irregular width. With the summer drought the torrent had narrowed till it was now but a thread of crystal clearness, meandering along a central channel in the rocky bed of the winter current. Knight scrambled through the bushes which at this point nearly covered the brook from sight, and leapt down upon the dry portion of the river bottom.
вАЬElfride, I never saw such a sight!вАЭ he exclaimed. вАЬThe hazels overhang the riverвАЩs course in a perfect arch, and the floor is beautifully paved. The place reminds one of the passages of a cloister. Let me help you down.вАЭ
He assisted her through the marginal underwood and down to the stones. They walked on together to a tiny cascade about a foot wide and high, and sat down beside it on the flags that for nine months in the year were submerged beneath a gushing bourne. From their feet trickled the attenuated thread of water which alone remained to tell the intent and reason of this leaf-covered aisle, and journeyed on in a zigzag line till lost in the shade.
Knight, leaning on his elbow, after contemplating all this, looked critically at Elfride.
вАЬDoes not such a luxuriant head of hair exhaust itself and get thin as the years go on from eighteen to eight-and-twenty?вАЭ he asked at length.
вАЬOh no!вАЭ she said quickly, with a visible disinclination to harbour such a thought, which came upon her with an unpleasantness whose force it would be difficult for men to understand. She added afterwards, with smouldering uneasiness, вАЬDo you really think that a great abundance of hair is more likely to get thin than a moderate quantity?вАЭ
вАЬYes, I really do. I believeвБ†вАФam almost sure, in factвБ†вАФthat if statistics could be obtained on the subject, you would find the persons with thin hair were those who had a superabundance originally, and that those who start with a moderate quantity retain it without much loss.вАЭ
ElfrideвАЩs troubles sat upon her face as well as in her heart. Perhaps to a woman it is almost as dreadful to think of losing her beauty as of losing her reputation. At any rate, she looked quite as gloomy as she had looked at any minute that day.
вАЬYou shouldnвАЩt be so troubled about a mere personal adornment,вАЭ said Knight, with some of the severity of tone that had been customary before she had beguiled him into softness.
вАЬI think it is a womanвАЩs duty to be as beautiful as she can. If I were a scholar, I would give you chapter and verse for it from one of your own Latin authors. I know there is such a passage, for papa has alluded to it.вАЭ
вАЬвАКвАШMunditiae, et ornatus, et cultus,вАЩ etc.вБ†вАФis that it? A passage in Livy which is no defence at all.вАЭ
вАЬNo, it is not that.вАЭ
вАЬNever mind, then; for I have a reason for not taking up my old cudgels against you, Elfie. Can you guess what the reason is?вАЭ
вАЬNo; but I am glad to hear it,вАЭ she said thankfully. вАЬFor it is dreadful when you talk so. For whatever dreadful name the weakness may deserve, I must candidly own that I am terrified to think my hair may ever get thin.вАЭ
вАЬOf course; a sensible woman would rather lose her wits than her beauty.вАЭ
вАЬI donвАЩt care if you do say satire and judge me cruelly. I know my hair is beautiful; everybody says so.вАЭ
вАЬWhy, my dear Miss Swancourt,вАЭ he tenderly replied, вАЬI have not said anything against it. But you know what is said about handsome being and handsome doing.вАЭ
вАЬPoor Miss Handsome-does cuts but a sorry figure beside Miss Handsome-is in every manвАЩs eyes, your own not excepted, Mr.¬†Knight, though it pleases you to throw off so,вАЭ said Elfride saucily. And lowering her voice: вАЬYou ought not to have taken so much trouble to save me from falling over the cliff, for you donвАЩt think mine a life worth much trouble evidently.вАЭ
вАЬPerhaps you think mine was not worth yours.вАЭ
вАЬIt was worth anybodyвАЩs!вАЭ
Her hand was plashing in the little waterfall, and her eyes were bent the same way.
вАЬYou talk about my severity with you, Elfride. You are unkind to me, you know.вАЭ
вАЬHow?вАЭ she asked, looking up from her idle occupation.
вАЬAfter my taking trouble to get jewellery to please you, you wouldnвАЩt accept it.вАЭ
вАЬPerhaps I would now; perhaps I want to.вАЭ
вАЬDo!вАЭ said Knight.
And the packet was withdrawn from his pocket and presented the third time. Elfride took it with delight. The obstacle was rent in twain, and the significant gift was hers.
вАЬIвАЩll take out these ugly ones at once,вАЭ she exclaimed, вАЬand IвАЩll wear yoursвБ†вАФshall I?вАЭ
вАЬI should be gratified.вАЭ
Now, though it may seem unlikely, considering how far the two had gone in converse, Knight had never yet ventured to kiss Elfride. Far slower was he than Stephen Smith in matters like that. The utmost advance he had made in such demonstrations had been to the degree witnessed by Stephen in the summerhouse. So ElfrideвАЩs cheek being still forbidden fruit to him, he said impulsively.
вАЬElfie, I should like to touch that seductive ear of yours. Those are my gifts; so let me dress you in them.вАЭ
She hesitated with a stimulating hesitation.
вАЬLet me put just one in its place, then?вАЭ
Her face grew much warmer.
вАЬI donвАЩt think it would be quite the usual or proper course,вАЭ she said, suddenly turning and resuming her operation of plashing in the miniature cataract.
The stillness of things was disturbed by a bird coming to the streamlet to drink. After watching him dip his bill, sprinkle himself, and fly into a tree, Knight replied, with the courteous brusqueness she so much liked to hearвБ†вАФ
вАЬElfride, now you may as well be fair. You would mind my doing it but little, I think; so give me leave, do.вАЭ
вАЬI will be fair, then,вАЭ she said confidingly, and looking him full in the face. It was a particular pleasure to her to be able to do a little honesty without fear. вАЬI should not mind your doing soвБ†вАФI should like such an attention. My thought was, would it be right to let you?вАЭ
вАЬThen I will!вАЭ he rejoined, with that singular earnestness about a small matterвБ†вАФin the eyes of a ladiesвАЩ man but a momentary peg for flirtation or jestвБ†вАФwhich is only found in deep natures who have been wholly unused to toying with womankind, and which, from its unwontedness, is in itself a tribute the most precious that can be rendered, and homage the most exquisite to be received.
вАЬAnd you shall,вАЭ she whispered, without reserve, and no longer mistress of the ceremonies. And then Elfride inclined herself towards him, thrust back her hair, and poised her head sideways. In doing this her arm and shoulder necessarily rested against his breast.
At the touch, the sensation of both seemed to be concentrated at the point of contact. All the time he was performing the delicate manoeuvre Knight trembled like a young surgeon in his first operation.
вАЬNow the other,вАЭ said Knight in a whisper.
вАЬNo, no.вАЭ
вАЬWhy not?вАЭ
вАЬI donвАЩt know exactly.вАЭ
вАЬYou must know.вАЭ
вАЬYour touch agitates me so. Let us go home.вАЭ
вАЬDonвАЩt say that, Elfride. What is it, after all? A mere nothing. Now turn round, dearest.вАЭ
She was powerless to disobey, and turned forthwith; and then, without any defined intention in eitherвАЩs mind, his face and hers drew closer together; and he supported her there, and kissed her.
Knight was at once the most ardent and the coolest man alive. When his emotions slumbered he appeared almost phlegmatic; when they were moved he was no less than passionate. And now, without having quite intended an early marriage, he put the question plainly. It came with all the ardour which was the accumulation of long years behind a natural reserve.
вАЬElfride, when shall we be married?вАЭ
The words were sweet to her; but there was a bitter in the sweet. These newly-overt acts of his, which had culminated in this plain question, coming on the very day of Mrs.¬†JethwayвАЩs blasting reproaches, painted distinctly her fickleness as an enormity. Loving him in secret had not seemed such thoroughgoing inconstancy as the same love recognized and acted upon in the face of threats. Her distraction was interpreted by him at her side as the outward signs of an unwonted experience.
вАЬI donвАЩt press you for an answer now, darling,вАЭ he said, seeing she was not likely to give a lucid reply. вАЬTake your time.вАЭ
Knight was as honourable a man as was ever loved and deluded by woman. It may be said that his blindness in love proved the point, for shrewdness in love usually goes with meanness in general. Once the passion had mastered him, the intellect had gone for naught. Knight, as a lover, was more single-minded and far simpler than his friend Stephen, who in other capacities was shallow beside him.
Without saying more on the subject of their marriage, Knight held her at armвАЩs length, as if she had been a large bouquet, and looked at her with critical affection.
вАЬDoes your pretty gift become me?вАЭ she inquired, with tears of excitement on the fringes of her eyes.
вАЬUndoubtedly, perfectly!вАЭ said her lover, adopting a lighter tone to put her at her ease. вАЬAh, you should see them; you look shinier than ever. Fancy that I have been able to improve you!вАЭ
вАЬAm I really so nice? I am glad for your sake. I wish I could see myself.вАЭ
вАЬYou canвАЩt. You must wait till we get home.вАЭ
вАЬI shall never be able,вАЭ she said, laughing. вАЬLook: hereвАЩs a way.вАЭ
вАЬSo there is. Well done, womanвАЩs wit!вАЭ
вАЬHold me steady!вАЭ
вАЬOh yes.вАЭ
вАЬAnd donвАЩt let me fall, will you?вАЭ
вАЬBy no means.вАЭ
Below their seat the thread of water paused to spread out into a smooth small pool. Knight supported her whilst she knelt down and leant over it.
вАЬI can see myself. Really, try as religiously as I will, I cannot help admiring my appearance in them.вАЭ
вАЬDoubtless. How can you be so fond of finery? I believe you are corrupting me into a taste for it. I used to hate every such thing before I knew you.вАЭ
вАЬI like ornaments, because I want people to admire what you possess, and envy you, and say, вАШI wish I was he.вАЩвАКвАЭ
вАЬI suppose I ought not to object after that. And how much longer are you going to look in there at yourself?вАЭ
вАЬUntil you are tired of holding me? Oh, I want to ask you something.вАЭ And she turned round. вАЬNow tell truly, wonвАЩt you? What colour of hair do you like best now?вАЭ
Knight did not answer at the moment.
вАЬSay light, do!вАЭ she whispered coaxingly. вАЬDonвАЩt say dark, as you did that time.вАЭ
вАЬLight-brown, then. Exactly the colour of my sweetheartвАЩs.вАЭ
вАЬReally?вАЭ said Elfride, enjoying as truth what she knew to be flattery.
вАЬYes.вАЭ
вАЬAnd blue eyes, too, not hazel? Say yes, say yes!вАЭ
вАЬOne recantation is enough for today.вАЭ
вАЬNo, no.вАЭ
вАЬVery well, blue eyes.вАЭ And Knight laughed, and drew her close and kissed her the second time, which operations he performed with the carefulness of a fruiterer touching a bunch of grapes so as not to disturb their bloom.
Elfride objected to a second, and flung away her face, the movement causing a slight disarrangement of hat and hair. Hardly thinking what she said in the trepidation of the moment, she exclaimed, clapping her hand to her earвБ†вАФ
вАЬAh, we must be careful! I lost the other earring doing like this.вАЭ
No sooner did she realise the significant words than a troubled look passed across her face, and she shut her lips as if to keep them back.
вАЬDoing like what?вАЭ said Knight, perplexed.
вАЬOh, sitting down out of doors,вАЭ she replied hastily.