Scene + 

X + 

Turnstile’s parlour, 11½ a.m. Breakfast on the table; pamphlets and newspapers. In the corners of the room, books and philosophical instruments, dusty and thrown together; heaps of Parliamentary Reports lying above them. Turnstile alone, musing, and looking over some journals. + 

Turnstile + 

This headache! Impossible to sleep when one goes to bed by daylight. Experiments by Arago! Ah! a paper by Cauchy, on my own subject. But here is this cursed committee in Smithfield to be attended; and it is already past eleven. Rising. + 

Knock at the hall door. + 

Enter Servant. + 

Servant + 

Mr. Tripes, sir. + 

Turnstile + 

Show him in. He comes, no doubt, to say that my election is arranged. A good, fatheaded, honest fellow. Enter Tripes. Well Mr. Tripes, I’m glad to see you. Pray take a chair. + 

Tripes + 

We hoped to have seen you at the meeting yesterday, sir. Capital speech from Mr. Smooth. You know, of course, that Mr. Highway is a candidate; and Mr. MacLeech is talked of;⁠—very sorry, indeed, you weren’t there. + 

Turnstile + 

A transit of Venus, Mr. Tripes, is a thing that does not happen every day. Besides, my friend, Stellini from Palermo, is here; and I had promised to go with him to Greenwich. + 

Tripes + 

Almost a pity, sir, to call off your attention from such objects. But in the City we are men of business, you know⁠—plain, everyday people. + 

Turnstile + 

It was unlucky; but I could not help it. The committee, I hope, is by this time at work? + 

Tripes + 

It was just that, I called about. I wished to tell you myself how very sorry I am that I cannot be your chairman. But⁠—my large family⁠—press of business⁠—in short⁠—you must excuse me;⁠—and, if I should be upon Mr. Smooth’s committee, I don’t well see how I can attend to both. + 

Turnstile + 

Smooth!⁠—but he and I go together, you know⁠—at least, I understood it so. + 

Tripes + 

I’m glad to hear it; I feared there might be some mistake. And, if Mr. MacLeech comes forward⁠—being a fellow-townsman of Mr. Smooth, and a good deal in the Glasgow interest;⁠—a commercial man too, Mr. Turnstile;⁠—a practical man⁠—Mr. Turnstile;⁠—I am not quite sure that you can count upon Mr. Smooth’s assistance;⁠—and Government, you know, is strong. + 

Turnstile + 

Assistance, Mr. Tripes⁠—from Smooth!⁠—why I came in on my own ground;⁠—on the Independent interest.⁠—Assistance from Smooth!⁠—Besides⁠—Smooth knows very well that our second votes secured him. + 

Tripes + 

Very true, sir; but these Independent people are hard to deal with; and Mr. Highway, I assure you, hit very hard in his speech at the meeting yesterday. He talked of amateur politicians⁠—attention to the business of the people⁠—dinners with the opposite party. In short, I fear, they will say⁠—like the others⁠—that what they want is something of “a practical man” Mr. Turnstile.⁠—I’m sorry that I must be going.⁠—Sir, your servant. + 

Turnstile + 

Rising and ringing. Enter servant. Open the door for Mr. Tripes. Exit Tripes. D⁠⸺⁠d, double-faced, selfish blockhead! + 