But today was different.
The night before he had barely slept, the cause a nightmare, the following panic attack, and a large bruise on his back shoulder blade that made moving painful.
Smiling felt like a strain. He was exhausted. He sat down at his desk, anxious. He could already feel the shadow of a possible panic attack settling in the pit of his empty stomach.
Aizawa took notice of him. His cheeks were pale and there were dark circles under his eyes. He was holding the ends of his sleeves. He didn't look good at all.
"Midoriya. I need to talk to you. Come to the hallway." He said blandly.
Izuku got up shakily, heading to the hallway. He felt sick.
Once they were outside, Aizawa shut the classroom door, the class still chatting casually inside as the bell rang.
"Kid. What's going on? You look horrible." Aizawa said, he didn't have time to be nit picky about it.
"I'm just tired. I didn't sleep good at all last night." He pleaded. This technically wasn't a lie.
"Do you feel sick?" Aizawa asked. Izuku shook his head, "no not at all I'm just tired." He was lying.
"Here. You look horrible, let me call your parents and you can go home and sleep-" Aizawa offered, pulling out his phone. Deku's eyes went wide, "no! No! It's fine! I'll be fine. just don't call my parents please."
Aizawa put his phone away. He knew there was something wrong. It wasnt normal, something was off today. The way Midoriya begged was closer to fear not his usual "oH iM fInE doNt wOrrY I gOt tHiS"
"Okay.." Aizawa eyed him carefully. Deku was usually nervous for just a talk with his teacher. "go back inside. I'm gonna get another cup of coffee." ,Aizawa said. Midoriya nodded stiffly, he looked like he was gonna be sick right there.
Midoriya went back inside the classroom, trying to keep it casual as he greeted people good morning and laid his head down on his desk. Every part of his body hurt.
Aizawa came into class a few minutes later. Deku sat up exhaustedly, every joint aching as he did so. He couldn't get out of his head. He felt terrible physically and mentally. He couldn't focus for shit. He felt so incredibly out of it. Like he was watching himself from outside his body. In 3rd person.
Aizawa noticed his struggle and assigned them their work for the day. There was a light chatter as they worked among themselves. Aizawa slowly made his way over to Midoriya who was staring absently at his paper.
He hadn't done a single problem.
Aizawa knelt down beside him casually, "hey. Kid." Izuku looked over after a moment, his reaction delayed, his response a monotone hum.
"Do you understand the work?" Aizawa asked. Midoriya looked down at his empty worksheet. He didn't respond, seemingly forgetting to answer the question.
"Midoriya?"
The green haired kid looked back up, "what? Oh. Yeah..." He trailed off. His eyes dull and his face pale. Aizawa could tell something was extremely off.
"Are you okay?" Aizawa asked. Midoriya paused, "I don't. I don't know."
"What's wrong?" Aizawa asked, staying calm, no one had noticed their conversation.
"I- don't know." Midoriya responded after a moment, his tone flat and unwavering despite his stutter. It's like he couldn't get in touch with his emotions.
Aizawa frowned, "can you tell me what you feel?" No response, "Midoriya." He said.
"Hm?" He responded. He couldn't manage to stay focused.
"Can you tell me what you feel?" Aizawa asked.
"I don't feel like I'm myself. Like all this is a dream but I'm awake. I feel.... Outside of myself." He said quietly. Aizawa looked at him puzzled, "what do you mean outside of yourself?"
"Like I'm watching myself from outside of myself." Midoriya said quietly.
Todoroki piped in from next to him, "sorry for listening in. Could Midoriya be dissociating?" Something clicked in Aizawa's brain, he hadn't dealt with a situation like this in a while and that possibility, especially for Midoriya, had been something he didn't even consider.
"Yes. Thank you Todoroki." Aizawa said, "Midoriya have you ever dealt with something like this before?" No answer.
"Midoriya."
He zoned back in, "is it gonna be like this forever?" He asked quietly, a feeling of sheer terror rising in his throat.
"No it won't. Im gonna help you kiddo don't worry." Aizawa said, "let's go outside where it's quieter." He said softly.
Deku nodded, getting up from his seat dizzily. A few students watched them as they went outside.
Aizawa helped Midoriya sit down in the hallway and pulled out an apple (from nowhere where is he keeping that shit wtf bestie that doesn't fit in ur pockets i-)
He handed the apple to Deku.
"I want you to describe this to me. I can give you questions if you need and there is no wrong answer just try your best."
Midoriya nodded, "it's red." He said trailing off, unsure of what else to say.
"Are there any other colors on it?" Aizawa questioned.
Izuku nodded, "yes. Green and yellow."
"What's the temperature like?" Aizawa asked.
"It's cool." Midoriya replied after a moment.
"What's the shape like?"
"It's round."
"Where on the apple is the green and yellow?"
"Near the top by the stem. On this side."
Aizawa could tell he was starting to come back, "go ahead and take a bite. Tell me what it tastes like."
Izuku took a small bite of the apple, "it's sweet and juicy" he smiled a little, "it isn't mushy."
Aizawa let out a relieved smile, "are there any bruises?"
Izuku shook his head, "no." He was more alert now, more himself, despite the fact the he looked like he hadn't slept in days.
"Are you feeling any better?" Aizawa asked. Izuku nodded, "yeah a bit. Thank you."
"If you ever need to talk about anything or need any help you let me know okay?" Aizawa said seriously, watching the boy shift uncomfortably at the idea, but nodding anyways.
"Do you wanna take a break for this class period?" Aizawa asked. Izuku shook his head quickly, "I don't wanna make any bigger of a scene than I already have."
"Kid. If you need to take a break then I'm going to let you. This isn't something I'm gonna take lightly." Aizawa said seriously. Deku shook his head again, "it's fine really. I'm all good now! (I think..)" he said, mumbling the last bit.
They proceeded to go back in the classroom. Deku immediately regretted not taking the rest of the class period off. The noise in the classroom was a lot to handle, it was overstimulating.
He took a shaky breath and sat down at his seat, trying to focus on his work. He cought a few glances from Todoroki but tried to ignore it.
By the time the lunch bell rang, the thought of eating in the cafeteria was nauseating. It would be so loud. He didn't want to ruin anything though so he went anyways.
He say with Iida, Ururaka, Tsu, and Todoroki like he normally did, picking at his food. It was so loud it felt hard to breathe. He felt tears rimming his eyes, threatening to flood over.
"I can't sit here anymore." He whispered.