XXII + 

Confessional + 

Mickey Linehan opened the front door for me. He looked at my scratched face and laughed: + 

тАЬYou do have one hell of a time with your women. Why donтАЩt you ask them instead of trying to take it away from them? ItтАЩd save you a lot of skin.тАЭ He poked a thumb at the ceiling. тАЬBetter go up and negotiate with that one. SheтАЩs been raising hell.тАЭ + 

I went up to GabrielleтАЩs room. She was sitting in the middle of the wallowed-up bed. Her hands were in her hair, tugging at it. Her soggy face was thirty-five years old. She was making hurt-animal noises in her throat. + 

тАЬItтАЩs a fight, huh?тАЭ I said from the door. + 

She took her hands out of her hair. + 

тАЬI wonтАЩt die?тАЭ The question was a whimper between edge-to-edge teeth. + 

тАЬNot a chance.тАЭ + 

She sobbed and lay down. I straightened the covers over her. She complained that there was a lump in her throat, that her jaws and the hollows behind her knees ached. + 

тАЬRegular symptoms,тАЭ I assured her. тАЬThey wonтАЩt bother you much, and youтАЩll miss the cramps.тАЭ + 

Fingernails scratched the door. Gabrielle jumped up in bed, crying: + 

тАЬDonтАЩt go away again.тАЭ + 

тАЬNo farther than the door,тАЭ I promised, and went to it. + 

MacMan was there. + 

тАЬThat Mexican Mary,тАЭ he whispered, тАЬwas hiding in the bushes watching you and the woman. I spotted her when she came out, and tailed her across to the road below. She stopped the limousine and talked with the womanтБатАФfive-ten minutes. I couldnтАЩt get near enough to hear any of it.тАЭ + 

тАЬWhere is she now?тАЭ + 

тАЬIn the kitchen. She came back. The woman in the heap went on. Mickey says the Mex is packing a knife and is going to make grief for us. Reckon heтАЩs right?тАЭ + 

тАЬHe generally is,тАЭ I said. тАЬSheтАЩs strong for Mrs.┬аCollinson, and doesnтАЩt think we mean her any good. Why in hell canтАЩt she mind her own business? It adds up that she peeped and saw Mrs.┬аHaldorn wasnтАЩt for us, figured she was for Mrs.┬аCollinson, and braced her. I hope Mrs.┬аHaldorn had sense enough to tell her to behave. Anyway, thereтАЩs nothing we can do but watch her. No use giving her the gate: weтАЩve got to have a cook.тАЭ + 

When MacMan had gone Gabrielle remembered we had had a visitor, and asked me about it, and about the shot she had heard and my scratched face. + 

тАЬIt was Aaronia Haldorn,тАЭ I told her; тАЬand she lost her head. No harm done. SheтАЩs gone now.тАЭ + 

тАЬShe came here to kill me,тАЭ the girl said, not excitedly, but as if she knew certainly. + 

тАЬMaybe. She wouldnтАЩt admit anything. Why should she kill you?тАЭ + 

I didnтАЩt get an answer to that. + 

It was a long bad night. I spent most of it in the girlтАЩs room, in a leather rocker dragged in from the front room. She got perhaps an hour and a half of sleep, in three instalments. Nightmares brought her screaming out of all three. I dozed when she let me. Off and on through the night I heard stealthy sounds in the hallтБатАФMary Nunez watching over her mistress, I supposed. + 

Wednesday was a longer and worse day. By noon my jaws were as sore as GabrielleтАЩs, from going around holding my back teeth together. She was getting the works now. Light was positive, active pain to her eyes, sound to her ears, odors of any sort to her nostrils. The weight of her silk nightgown, the touch of sheets over and under her, tortured her skin. Every nerve she had yanked every muscle she had, continually. Promises that she wasnтАЩt going to die were no good now: life wasnтАЩt nice enough. + 

тАЬStop fighting it, if you want,тАЭ I said. тАЬLet yourself go. IтАЩll take care of you.тАЭ + 

She took me at my word, and I had a maniac on my hands. Once her shrieks brought Mary Nunez to the door, snarling and spitting at me in Mex-Spanish. I was holding Gabrielle down in bed by the shoulders, sweating as much as she was. + 

тАЬGet out of here,тАЭ I snarled back at the Mexican woman. + 

She put a brown hand into the bosom of her dress and came a step into the room. Mickey Linehan came up behind her, pulled her back into the hall, and shut the door. + 

Between the high spots, Gabrielle lay on her back, panting, twitching, staring at the ceiling with hopeless suffering eyes. Sometimes her eyes closed, but the jerking of her body didnтАЩt stop. + 

Rolly came down from Quesada that afternoon with word that Fitzstephan had come sufficiently alive to be questioned by Vernon. Fitzstephan had told the district attorney that he had not seen the bomb, had seen nothing to show when, where, and how it came into the room; but that he had an indistinct memory of hearing a tinkling, as of broken glass falling, and a thud on the floor close to him just after Fink and I had left the room. + 

I told Rolly to tell Vernon IтАЩd try to get over to see him the next day, and to hang on to Fink. The deputy sheriff promised to deliver the message, and left. Mickey and I were standing on the porch. We didnтАЩt have anything to say to each other, hadnтАЩt all day. I was lighting a cigarette when the girlтАЩs voice came from indoors. Mickey turned away, saying something with the name of God in it. + 

I scowled at him and asked angrily: + 

тАЬWell, am I right or wrong?тАЭ + 

He glared back at me, said, тАЬIтАЩd a damned sight rather be wrong,тАЭ and walked away. + 

I cursed him and went inside. Mary Nunez, starting up the front stairs, retreated towards the kitchen when she saw me, walking backwards, her eyes watching me crazily. I cursed her and went upstairs to where I had left MacMan at the girlтАЩs door. He wouldnтАЩt look at me, so I made it unanimous by cursing him. + 

Gabrielle spent the balance of the afternoon shrieking, begging, and crying for morphine. That evening she made a complete confession: + 

тАЬI told you I didnтАЩt want to be evil,тАЭ she said, wadding the bedclothes in feverish hands. тАЬThat was a lie. I did. IтАЩve always wanted to, always have been. I wanted to do to you what I did to the others; but now I donтАЩt want you: I want morphine. They wonтАЩt hang me: I know that. And I donтАЩt care what else they do to me, if I get morphine.тАЭ + 

She laughed viciously and went on: + 

тАЬYou were right when you said I brought out the worst in men because I wanted to. I did want to; and I didтБатАФexcept, I failed with Doctor Riese, and with Eric. I donтАЩt know what was the matter with them. But I failed with both of them, and in failing let them learn too much about me. And thatтАЩs why they were killed. Joseph drugged Doctor Riese, and I killed him myself, and then we made Minnie think she had. And I persuaded Joseph to kill Aaronia, and he would have done itтБатАФhe would have done anything I askedтБатАФif you hadnтАЩt interfered. I got Harvey to kill Eric for me. I was tied to EricтБатАФlegallyтБатАФa good man who wanted to make a good woman of me.тАЭ + 

She laughed again, licking her lips. + 

тАЬHarvey and I had to have money, and I couldnтАЩtтБатАФI was too afraid of being suspectedтБатАФget enough from Andrews; so we pretended I had been kidnapped, to get it that way. It was a shame you killed Harvey: he was a glorious beast. I had that bomb, had had it for months. I took it from fatherтАЩs laboratory, when he was making some experiments for a moving picture company. It wasnтАЩt very large, and I always carried it with meтБатАФjust in case. I meant it for you in the hotel room. There was nothing between Owen and meтБатАФthat was another lieтБатАФhe didnтАЩt love me. I meant it for you, because you wereтБатАФbecause I was afraid you were getting at the truth. I was feverish, and when I heard two men go out, leaving one in your room, I was sure the one was you. I didnтАЩt see that it was Owen till too lateтБатАФtill I had opened the door a little and thrown the bomb in. Now youтАЩve got what you want. Give me morphine. ThereтАЩs no reason for your playing with me any longer. Give me morphine. YouтАЩve succeeded. Have what IтАЩve told you written out: IтАЩll sign it. You canтАЩt pretend now IтАЩm worth curing, worth saving. Give me morphine.тАЭ + 

Now it was my turn to laugh, asking: + 

тАЬAnd arenтАЩt you going to confess to kidnapping Charlie Ross and blowing up the Maine?тАЭ + 

We had some more hellтБатАФa solid hour of itтБатАФbefore she exhausted herself again. The night dragged through. She got a little more than two hoursтАЩ sleep, a half-hour gain over the previous night. I dozed in the chair when I could. + 

Sometime before daylight I woke to the feel of a hand on my coat. Keeping my breathing regular, I pushed my eyelids far enough apart to squint through the lashes. We had a very dim light in the room, but I thought Gabrielle was in bed, though I couldnтАЩt see whether she was asleep or awake. My head was tilted back to rest on the back of the chair. I couldnтАЩt see the hand that was exploring my inside coat-pocket, nor the arm that came down over my shoulder; but they smelled of the kitchen, so I knew they were brown. + 

The Mexican woman was standing behind me. Mickey had told me she had a knife. Imagination told me she was holding it in her other hand. Good judgment told me to let her alone. I did that, closing my eyes again. Paper rustled between her fingers, and her hand left my pocket. + 

I moved my head sleepily then, and changed a footтАЩs position. When I heard the door close quietly behind me, I sat up and looked around. Gabrielle was sleeping. I counted the bindles in my pocket and found that eight of them had been taken. + 

Presently Gabrielle opened her eyes. This was the first time since the cure started that she had awakened quietly. Her face was haggard, but not wild-eyed. She looked at the window and asked: + 

тАЬIsnтАЩt day coming yet?тАЭ + 

тАЬItтАЩs getting light.тАЭ I gave her some orange juice. тАЬWeтАЩll get some solid food in you today.тАЭ + 

тАЬI donтАЩt want food. I want morphine.тАЭ + 

тАЬDonтАЩt be silly. YouтАЩll get food. You wonтАЩt get morphine. Today wonтАЩt be like yesterday. YouтАЩre over the hump, and the rest of itтАЩs downhill going, though you may hit a couple of rough spots. ItтАЩs silly to ask for morphine now. What do you want to do? Have nothing to show for the hell youтАЩve been through? YouтАЩve got it licked now: stay with it.тАЭ + 

тАЬHave IтБатАФhave I really got it licked?тАЭ + 

тАЬYeah. All youтАЩve got to buck now is nervousness, and the memory of how nice it felt to have a skinful of hop.тАЭ + 

тАЬI can do it,тАЭ she said. тАЬI can do it because you say I can.тАЭ + 

She got along fine till late in the morning, when she blew up for an hour or two. But it wasnтАЩt so bad, and I got her straightened out again. When Mary brought up her luncheon I left them together and went downstairs for my own. + 

Mickey and MacMan were already at the dining-room table. Neither of them spoke a wordтБатАФto one another or to meтБатАФduring the meal. Since they kept quiet, I did. + 

When I went back upstairs, Gabrielle, in a green bathrobe, was sitting in the leather rocker that had been my bed for two nights. She had brushed her hair and powdered her face. Her eyes were mostly green, with a lift to the lower lids as if she was hiding a joke. She said with mock solemnity: + 

тАЬSit down. I want to talk seriously to you.тАЭ + 

I sat down. + 

тАЬWhy did you go through all this withтБатАФfor me?тАЭ She was really serious now. тАЬYou didnтАЩt have to, and it couldnтАЩt have been pleasant. I wasтБатАФI donтАЩt know how bad I was.тАЭ She turned red from forehead to chest. тАЬI know I was revolting, disgusting. I know how I must seem to you now. WhyтБатАФwhy did you?тАЭ + 

I said: + 

тАЬIтАЩm twice your age, sister; an old man. IтАЩm damned if IтАЩll make a chump of myself by telling you why I did it, why it was neither revolting nor disgusting, why IтАЩd do it again and be glad of the chance.тАЭ + 

She jumped out of her chair, her eyes round and dark, her mouth trembling. + 

тАЬYou meanтБатАФ?тАЭ + 

тАЬI donтАЩt mean anything that IтАЩll admit,тАЭ I said; тАЬand if youтАЩre going to parade around with that robe hanging open youтАЩre going to get yourself some bronchitis. You ex-hopheads have to be careful about catching cold.тАЭ + 

She sat down again, put her hands over her face, and began crying. I let her cry. Presently she giggled through her fingers and asked: + 

тАЬWill you go out and let me be alone all afternoon?тАЭ + 

тАЬYeah, if youтАЩll keep warm.тАЭ + 

I drove over to the county seat, went to the county hospital, and argued with people until they let me into FitzstephanтАЩs room. + 

He was ninety percent bandages, with only an eye, an ear, and one side of his mouth peeping out. The eye and the half-mouth smiled through linen at me, and a voice came through: + 

тАЬNo more of your hotel rooms for me.тАЭ It wasnтАЩt a clear voice because it had to come out sidewise, and he couldnтАЩt move his jaw; but there was plenty of vitality in it. It was the voice of a man who meant to keep on living. + 

I smiled at him and said: + 

тАЬNo hotel rooms this time, unless you think San QuentinтАЩs a hotel. Strong enough to stand up under a third-degree, or shall we wait a day or two?тАЭ + 

тАЬI ought to be at my best now,тАЭ he said. тАЬFacial expressions wonтАЩt betray me.тАЭ + 

тАЬGood. Now hereтАЩs the first point: Fink handed you that bomb when he shook hands with you. ThatтАЩs the only way it could have got in without my seeing it. His back was to me then. You didnтАЩt know what he was handing you, but you had to take it, just as you have to deny it now, or tip us off that you were tied up with the Holy Grail mob, and that Fink had reasons for killing you.тАЭ + 

Fitzstephan said: тАЬYou say the most remarkable things. IтАЩm glad he had reasons, though.тАЭ + 

тАЬYou engineered RieseтАЩs murder. The others were your accomplices. When Joseph died the blame was put all on him, the supposed madman. ThatтАЩs enough to let the others out, or ought to be. But here you are killing Collinson and planning God knows what else. Fink knows that if you keep it up youтАЩre going to let the truth out about the Temple murder, and heтАЩll swing with you. So, scared panicky, he tries to stop you.тАЭ + 

Fitzstephan said: тАЬBetter and better. So I killed Collinson?тАЭ + 

тАЬYou had him killedтБатАФhired Whidden and then didnтАЩt pay him. He kidnapped the girl then, holding her for his money, knowing she was what you wanted. It was you his bullet came closest to when we cornered him.тАЭ + 

Fitzstephan said: тАЬIтАЩm running out of exclamatory phrases. So I was after her? I wondered about my motive.тАЭ + 

тАЬYou must have been pretty rotten with her. SheтАЩd had a bad time with Andrews, and even with Eric, but she didnтАЩt mind talking about them. But when I tried to learn the details of your wooing she shuddered and shut up. I suppose she slammed you down so hard you bounced, and youтАЩre the sort of egoist to be driven to anything by that.тАЭ + 

Fitzstephan said: тАЬI suppose. You know, IтАЩve had more than half an idea at times that you were secretly nursing some exceptionally idiotic theory.тАЭ + 

тАЬWell, why shouldnтАЩt I? You were standing beside Mrs.┬аLeggett when she suddenly got that gun. WhereтАЩd she get it? Chasing her out of the laboratory and down the stairs wasnтАЩt in characterтБатАФnot for you. Your hand was on her gun when that bullet hit her neck. Was I supposed to be deaf, dumb, and blind? There was, as you agreed, one mind behind all GabrielleтАЩs troubles. YouтАЩre the one person who has that sort of a mind, whose connection with each episode can be traced, and who has the necessary motive. The motive held me up: I couldnтАЩt be sure of it till IтАЩd had my first fair chance to pump GabrielleтБатАФafter the explosion. And another thing that held me up was my not being able to tie you to the Temple crowd till Fink and Aaronia Haldorn did it for me.тАЭ + 

Fitzstephan said: тАЬAh, Aaronia helped tie me? What has she been up to?тАЭ He said it absentmindedly, and his one visible gray eye was small, as if he was busy with other thoughts behind it. + 

тАЬSheтАЩs done her best to cover you up by gumming the works, creating confusion, setting us after Andrews, even trying to shoot me. I mentioned Collinson just after sheтАЩd learned that the Andrews false-trail was no good. She gave me a half-concealed gasp and sob, just on the off-chance that itтАЩd lead me astray, overlooking no bets. I like her: sheтАЩs shifty.тАЭ + 

тАЬSheтАЩs so headstrong,тАЭ Fitzstephan said lightly, not having listened to half I had said, busy with his own thoughts. He turned his head on the pillow so that his eye looked at the ceiling, narrow and brooding. + 

I said: тАЬAnd so ends the Great Dain Curse.тАЭ + 

He laughed then, as well as he could with one eye and a fraction of a mouth, and said: + 

тАЬSuppose, my boy, I were to tell you IтАЩm a Dain?тАЭ + 

I said: тАЬHuh?тАЭ + 

He said: тАЬMy mother and GabrielleтАЩs maternal grandfather were brother and sister.тАЭ + 

I said: тАЬIтАЩll be damned.тАЭ + 

тАЬYouтАЩll have to go away and let me think,тАЭ he said. тАЬI donтАЩt know yet what I shall do. Understand, at present I admit nothing. But the chances are I shall insist on the curse, shall use it to save my dear neck. In that event, my son, youтАЩre going to see a most remarkable defense, a circus that will send the nationтАЩs newspapers into happy convulsions. I shall be a Dain, with the cursed Dain blood in me, and the crimes of Cousin Alice and Cousin Lily and Second-cousin Gabrielle and the Lord knows how many other criminal Dains shall be evidence in my behalf. The number of my own crimes will be to my advantage, on the theory that nobody but a lunatic could have committed so many. And wonтАЩt they be many? IтАЩll produce crimes and crimes, dating from the cradle. + 

тАЬEven literature shall help me. DidnтАЩt most reviewers agree that The Pale Egyptian was the work of a sub-Mongolian? And, as I remember, the consensus was that my Eighteen Inches bore all the better known indications of authorial degeneracy. Evidence, son, to save my sweet neck. And I shall wave my mangled body at themтБатАФan arm gone, a leg gone, parts of my torso and faceтБатАФa ruin whose crimes and high Heaven have surely brought sufficient punishment upon him. And perhaps the bomb shocked me into sanity again, or, at least, out of criminal insanity. Perhaps IтАЩll even have become religious. ItтАЩll be a splendid circus. It tempts me. But I must think before I commit myself.тАЭ + 

He panted through the uncovered half of his mouth, exhausted by his speech, looking at me with a gray eye that held triumphant mirth. + 

тАЬYouтАЩll probably make a go of it,тАЭ I said as I prepared to leave. тАЬAnd IтАЩm satisfied if you do. YouтАЩve taken enough of a licking. And, legally, youтАЩre entitled to beat the jump if ever anybody was.тАЭ + 

тАЬLegally entitled?тАЭ he repeated, the mirth going out of his eye. He looked away, and then at me again, uneasily. тАЬTell me the truth. Am I?тАЭ + 

I nodded. + 

тАЬBut, damn it, that spoils it,тАЭ he complained, fighting to keep the uneasiness out of his eye, fighting to retain his usual lazily amused manner, and not making such a poor job of it. тАЬItтАЩs no fun if IтАЩm really cracked.тАЭ + 

When I got back to the house in the cove, Mickey and MacMan were sitting on the front steps. MacMan said, тАЬHello,тАЭ and Mickey said: тАЬGet any fresh woman-scars while you were away? Your little playmateтАЩs been asking for you.тАЭ I supposed from thisтБатАФfrom my being readmitted to the white raceтБатАФthat Gabrielle had had a good afternoon. + 

She was sitting up in bed with pillows behind her back, her face stillтБатАФor againтБатАФpowdered, her eyes shining happily. + 

тАЬI didnтАЩt mean for you to go away forever,тАЭ she scolded. тАЬIt was nasty of you. IтАЩve got a surprise for you and IтАЩve nearly burst waiting.тАЭ + 

тАЬWell, here I am. What is it?тАЭ + 

тАЬShut your eyes.тАЭ + 

I shut them. + 

тАЬOpen your eyes.тАЭ + 

I opened them. She was holding out to me the eight bindles that Mary Nunez had picked my pocket for. + 

тАЬIтАЩve had them since noon,тАЭ she said proudly; тАЬand theyтАЩve got fingermarks and tear-marks on them, but not one of them has been opened. ItтБатАФhonestlyтБатАФit wasnтАЩt so hard not to.тАЭ + 

тАЬI knew it wouldnтАЩt be, for you,тАЭ I said. тАЬThatтАЩs why I didnтАЩt take them away from Mary.тАЭ + 

тАЬYou knew? You trusted me that muchтБатАФto go away and leave me with them?тАЭ + 

Nobody but an idiot would have confessed that for two days the folded papers had held powdered sugar instead of the original morphine. + 

тАЬYouтАЩre the nicest man in the world.тАЭ She caught one of my hands and rubbed her cheek into it, then dropped it quickly, frowned her face out of shape, and said: тАЬExcept! You sat there this noon and deliberately tried to make me think you were in love with me.тАЭ + 

тАЬWell?тАЭ I asked, trying to keep my face straight. + 

тАЬYou hypocrite. You deceiver of young girls. It would serve you right if I made you marry meтБатАФor sued you for breach of promise. I honestly believed you all afternoonтБатАФand it did help me. I believed you until you came in just now, and then I sawтБатАФтАЭ She stopped. + 

тАЬSaw what?тАЭ + 

тАЬA monster. A nice one, an especially nice one to have around when youтАЩre in trouble, but a monster just the same, without any human foolishness like love in him, andтБатАФWhatтАЩs the matter? Have I said something I shouldnтАЩt?тАЭ + 

тАЬI donтАЩt think you should have,тАЭ I said. тАЬIтАЩm not sure I wouldnтАЩt trade places with Fitzstephan nowтБатАФif that big-eyed woman with the voice was part of the bargain.тАЭ + 

тАЬOh, dear!тАЭ she said. + 