XXIII + 

I was anxious to reach home quickly; only to get in, to fling myself down on my bed, to go to sleep at once without thinking about myself or her, to have a lucid interval before the torture recommenced.⁠ ⁠… + 

In my boyhood, when I still retained my childish beliefs and said my prayers, I once awoke on just such a dark night, with a feeling of unaccountable dread. To drive away my fear I thought of saying a prayer, but a word which had no business there crept into the middle of it. I began again from the first word, only, however, to break down a second time in the same place. This happened several times in succession. At first, the interpolation was mere nonsense, but after a while I observed with terror that instead of meaningless phrases naive and childish blasphemies crept into my mind; and the more passionately I began the prayer the more I was beset in the middle of it by sinful words and thoughts. Cold sweat broke out on my forehead and I became postively convinced that a demon was taking advantage of the darkness to whisper bad thoughts in my ear. + 

Now, I had neither childish superstition; nor was I tempted by imaginary demons in the dark, pathless grove. I fled from a soulless spectre which I bore within myself, feeling that it would devour the one thing which still remained in my heart uncontaminated and untouched; that in a few minutes more, I myself should destroy the last pure image which was left to me. + 

I walked on fast, my heart palpitating, and at moments contracting in sudden fear as if grasped by an invisible hand. The sombre tree trunks, black pillars in a waste of snow, separated and drew back as I passed; yet still a wall loomed large before me, and it seemed as if the park would never end. + 

All this time I had been walking at random; but by a lucky chance I came out directly opposite the Academy. Titus had just returned, and was lighting the lamp. His cap was pushed on to the back of his head and his face flushed and excited. When he had finished with the lamp he turned round to me and gave an account of his theoretical conversations. + 

He no longer watched me and greeted me with anxious looks; and he failed to observe that I was in no condition to listen to his narration. He came up and barred my way; and his long figure with its gesticulating arms stood before me like an absurd and clumsy silhouette, the shadow of his cap thrown across the ceiling. + 

“Just imagine,” he said, gesticulating excitedly, “Rouchin said to me.⁠ ⁠… No, I said to him:⁠—‘No, no; you are all wrong⁠—you look here!⁠ ⁠… I’ll just prove to you.⁠ ⁠…’ ” + 

A revolution had taken place in poor Titus which in my egoistic reserve I had failed to notice. Since the day when I so harshly insulted him, he had flung himself into the very whirlwind of “philosophy” till then strange to him; and his poor head was completely turned thereby. He had thrown aside his notes for books on social questions, which he studied incessantly, neglecting lectures, and never missing a single meeting. Jumping on the benches in the lecture-halls, he would strike into the middle of any discussion whatever, listening to nobody and continually interrupting other speakers rudely and vociferously. At first his fellow-students could not make it out; then they took to laughing and finally, on the day in question there had been hot work; for Titus was becoming a regular obstructionist. The others attacked him, demanding a plain exposition of his views and trying to refute his arguments. This made Titus half frantic; in his excitement he stamped on the floor, repeating over and over again the same words:⁠— + 

“You are talking nonsense, all of you, sheer nonsense.” + 

I heard of all this afterwards. But now Titus stood before me with his cap shoved on to the back of his head, incoherently recounting his exploits. + 

“There; you hear what he said; and I said to him:⁠—‘No but wait a bit!’⁠ ⁠… Why! whatever is the matter with you, Gavrik? Good God!” + 

His face suddenly changed and became for a moment the face of the old Titus, anxious and startled. + 

“Leave me alone, for goodness sake,” I said hoarsely, pushing him aside. “I want to sleep,” and throwing myself down on my bed I hid my face in the pillow. + 

Titus came up to me on tiptoe, and after a short silence said softly, in the tone of a man thunderstruck and almost in despair:⁠— + 

“Oh! dear, oh dear! See what all this philosophy comes to. I wish it was all at the devil⁠ ⁠… by Jove!⁠ ⁠…” + 