XXI + 

If Love Were All! + 

It was night, and I was in the cell wherein the king had lain in the Castle of Zenda. The great pipe that Rupert of Hentzau had nicknamed JacobтАЩs ladder was gone, and the lights in the room across the moat twinkled in the darkness. All was still; the din and clash of strife were gone. I had spent the day hidden in the forest, from the time when Fritz had led me off, leaving Sapt with the princess. Under cover of dusk, muffled up, I had been brought to the castle and lodged where I now lay. Though three men had died thereтБатАФtwo of them by my handтБатАФI was not troubled by ghosts. I had thrown myself on a pallet by the window, and was looking out on the black water; Johann, the keeper, still pale from his wound, but not much hurt besides, had brought me supper. He told me that the king was doing well, that he had seen the princess; that she and he, Sapt and Fritz, had been long together. Marshal Strakencz was gone to Strelsau; Black Michael lay in his coffin, and Antoinette de Mauban watched by him; had I not heard, from the chapel, priests singing mass for him? + 

Outside there were strange rumours afloat. Some said that the prisoner of Zenda was dead; some, that he had vanished yet alive; some, that he was a friend who had served the king well in some adventure in England; others, that he had discovered the DukeтАЩs plots, and had therefore been kidnapped by him. One or two shrewd fellows shook their heads and said only that they would say nothing, but they had suspicions that more was to be known than was known, if Colonel Sapt would tell all he knew. + 

Thus Johann chattered till I sent him away and lay there alone, thinking, not of the future, butтБатАФas a man is wont to do when stirring things have happened to himтБатАФrehearsing the events of the past weeks, and wondering how strangely they had fallen out. And above me, in the stillness of the night, I heard the standards flapping against their poles, for Black MichaelтАЩs banner hung there half-mast high, and above it the royal flag of Ruritania, floating for one night more over my head. Habit grows so quick, that only by an effort did I recollect that it floated no longer for me. + 

Presently Fritz von Tarlenheim came into the room. I was standing then by the window; the glass was opened, and I was idly fingering the cement which clung to the masonry where JacobтАЩs ladder had been. He told me briefly that the king wanted me, and together we crossed the drawbridge and entered the room that had been Black MichaelтАЩs. + 

The king was lying there in bed; our doctor from Tarlenheim was in attendance on him, and whispered to me that my visit must be brief. The king held out his hand and shook mine. Fritz and the doctor withdrew to the window. + 

I took the kingтАЩs ring from my finger and placed it on his. + 

тАЬI have tried not to dishonour it, sire,тАЭ said I. + 

тАЬI canтАЩt talk much to you,тАЭ he said, in a weak voice. тАЬI have had a great fight with Sapt and the marshalтБатАФfor we have told the marshal everything. I wanted to take you to Strelsau and keep you with me, and tell everyone of what you had done; and you would have been my best and nearest friend, Cousin Rudolf. But they tell me I must not, and that the secret must be keptтБатАФif kept it can be.тАЭ + 

тАЬThey are right, sire. Let me go. My work here is done.тАЭ + 

тАЬYes, it is done, as no man but you could have done it. When they see me again, I shall have my beard on; I shallтБатАФyes, faith, I shall be wasted with sickness. They will not wonder that the king looks changed in face. Cousin, I shall try to let them find him changed in nothing else. You have shown me how to play the king.тАЭ + 

тАЬSire,тАЭ said I. тАЬI can take no praise from you. It is by the narrowest grace of God that I was not a worse traitor than your brother.тАЭ + 

He turned inquiring eyes on me; but a sick man shrinks from puzzles, and he had no strength to question me. His glance fell on FlaviaтАЩs ring, which I wore. I thought he would question me about it; but, after fingering it idly, he let his head fall on his pillow. + 

тАЬI donтАЩt know when I shall see you again,тАЭ he said faintly, almost listlessly. + 

тАЬIf I can ever serve you again, sire,тАЭ I answered. + 

His eyelids closed. Fritz came with the doctor. I kissed the kingтАЩs hand, and let Fritz lead me away. I have never seen the king since. + 

Outside, Fritz turned, not to the right, back towards the drawbridge, but to the left, and without speaking led me upstairs, through a handsome corridor in the ch├вteau. + 

тАЬWhere are we going?тАЭ I asked. + 

Looking away from me, Fritz answered: + 

тАЬShe has sent for you. When it is over, come back to the bridge. IтАЩll wait for you there.тАЭ + 

тАЬWhat does she want?тАЭ said I, breathing quickly. + 

He shook his head. + 

тАЬDoes she know everything?тАЭ + 

тАЬYes, everything.тАЭ + 

He opened a door, and gently pushing me in, closed it behind me. I found myself in a drawing room, small and richly furnished. At first I thought that I was alone, for the light that came from a pair of shaded candles on the mantelpiece was very dim. But presently I discerned a womanтАЩs figure standing by the window. I knew it was the princess, and I walked up to her, fell on one knee, and carried the hand that hung by her side to my lips. She neither moved nor spoke. I rose to my feet, and, piercing the gloom with my eager eyes, saw her pale face and the gleam of her hair, and before I knew, I spoke softly: + 

тАЬFlavia!тАЭ + 

She trembled a little, and looked round. Then she darted to me, taking hold of me. + 

тАЬDonтАЩt stand, donтАЩt stand! No, you mustnтАЩt! YouтАЩre hurt! Sit downтБатАФhere, here!тАЭ + 

She made me sit on a sofa, and put her hand on my forehead. + 

тАЬHow hot your head is,тАЭ she said, sinking on her knees by me. Then she laid her head against me, and I heard her murmur: тАЬMy darling, how hot your head is!тАЭ + 

Somehow love gives even to a dull man the knowledge of his loverтАЩs heart. I had come to humble myself and pray pardon for my presumption; but what I said now was: + 

тАЬI love you with all my heart and soul!тАЭ + 

For what troubled and shamed her? Not her love for me, but the fear that I had counterfeited the lover as I had acted the king, and taken her kisses with a smothered smile. + 

тАЬWith all my life and heart,тАЭ said I, as she clung to me. тАЬAlways, from the first moment I saw you in the cathedral! There has been but one woman in the world to meтБатАФand there will be no other. But God forgive me the wrong IтАЩve done you!тАЭ + 

тАЬThey made you do it!тАЭ she said quickly; and she added, raising her head and looking in my eyes: тАЬIt might have made no difference if IтАЩd known it. It was always you, never the king!тАЭ + 

тАЬI meant to tell you,тАЭ said I. тАЬI was going to on the night of the ball in Strelsau, when Sapt interrupted me. After that, I couldnтАЩtтБатАФI couldnтАЩt risk losing you beforeтБатАФbeforeтБатАФI must! My darling, for you I nearly left the king to die!тАЭ + 

тАЬI know, I know! What are we to do now, Rudolf?тАЭ + 

I put my arm round her and held her up while I said: + 

тАЬI am going away tonight.тАЭ + 

тАЬAh, no, no!тАЭ she cried. тАЬNot tonight!тАЭ + 

тАЬI must go tonight, before more people have seen me. And how would you have me stay, sweetheart, exceptтБатАФ?тАЭ + 

тАЬIf I could come with you!тАЭ she whispered very low. + 

тАЬMy God!тАЭ said I roughly, тАЬdonтАЩt talk about that!тАЭ and I thrust her a little back from me. + 

тАЬWhy not? I love you. You are as good a gentleman as the king!тАЭ + 

Then I was false to all that I should have held by. For I caught her in my arms and prayed her, in words that I will not write, to come with me, daring all Ruritania to take her from me. And for a while she listened, with wondering, dazzled eyes. But as her eyes looked on me, I grew ashamed, and my voice died away in broken murmurs and stammerings, and at last I was silent. + 

She drew herself away from me and stood against the wall, while I sat on the edge of the sofa, trembling in every limb, knowing what I had doneтБатАФloathing it, obstinate not to undo it. So we rested a long time. + 

тАЬI am mad!тАЭ I said sullenly. + 

тАЬI love your madness, dear,тАЭ she answered. + 

Her face was away from me, but I caught the sparkle of a tear on her cheek. I clutched the sofa with my hand and held myself there. + 

тАЬIs love the only thing?тАЭ she asked, in low, sweet tones that seemed to bring a calm even to my wrung heart. тАЬIf love were the only thing, I would follow youтБатАФin rags, if need beтБатАФto the worldтАЩs end; for you hold my heart in the hollow of your hand! But is love the only thing?тАЭ + 

I made no answer. It gives me shame now to think that I would not help her. + 

She came near me and laid her hand on my shoulder. I put my hand up and held hers. + 

тАЬI know people write and talk as if it were. Perhaps, for some, Fate lets it be. Ah, if I were one of them! But if love had been the only thing, you would have let the king die in his cell.тАЭ + 

I kissed her hand. + 

тАЬHonour binds a woman too, Rudolf. My honour lies in being true to my country and my House. I donтАЩt know why God has let me love you; but I know that I must stay.тАЭ + 

Still I said nothing; and she, pausing a while, then went on: + 

тАЬYour ring will always be on my finger, your heart in my heart, the touch of your lips on mine. But you must go and I must stay. Perhaps I must do what it kills me to think of doing.тАЭ + 

I knew what she meant, and a shiver ran through me. But I could not utterly fail her. I rose and took her hand. + 

тАЬDo what you will, or what you must,тАЭ I said. тАЬI think God shows His purposes to such as you. My part is lighter; for your ring shall be on my finger and your heart in mine, and no touch save of your lips will ever be on mine. So, may God comfort you, my darling!тАЭ + 

There struck on our ears the sound of singing. The priests in the chapel were singing masses for the souls of those who lay dead. They seemed to chant a requiem over our buried joy, to pray forgiveness for our love that would not die. The soft, sweet, pitiful music rose and fell as we stood opposite one another, her hands in mine. + 

тАЬMy queen and my beauty!тАЭ said I. + 

тАЬMy lover and true knight!тАЭ she said. тАЬPerhaps we shall never see one another again. Kiss me, my dear, and go!тАЭ + 

I kissed her as she bade me; but at the last she clung to me, whispering nothing but my name, and that over and over againтБатАФand againтБатАФand again; and then I left her. + 

Rapidly I walked down to the bridge. Sapt and Fritz were waiting for me. Under their directions I changed my dress, and muffling my face, as I had done more than once before, I mounted with them at the door of the castle, and we three rode through the night and on to the breaking day, and found ourselves at a little roadside station just over the border of Ruritania. The train was not quite due, and I walked with them in a meadow by a little brook while we waited for it. They promised to send me all news; they overwhelmed me with kindnessтБатАФeven old Sapt was touched to gentleness, while Fritz was half unmanned. I listened in a kind of dream to all they said. тАЬRudolf! Rudolf! Rudolf!тАЭ still rang in my earsтБатАФa burden of sorrow and of love. At last they saw that I could not heed them, and we walked up and down in silence, till Fritz touched me on the arm, and I saw, a mile or more away, the blue smoke of the train. Then I held out a hand to each of them. + 

тАЬWe are all but half-men this morning,тАЭ said I, smiling. тАЬBut we have been men, eh, Sapt and Fritz, old friends? We have run a good course between us.тАЭ + 

тАЬWe have defeated traitors and set the king firm on his throne,тАЭ said Sapt. + 

Then Fritz von Tarlenheim suddenly, before I could discern his purpose or stay him, uncovered his head and bent as he used to do, and kissed my hand; and as I snatched it away, he said, trying to laugh: + 

тАЬHeaven doesnтАЩt always make the right men kings!тАЭ + 

Old Sapt twisted his mouth as he wrung my hand. + 

тАЬThe devil has his share in most things,тАЭ said he. + 

The people at the station looked curiously at the tall man with the muffled face, but we took no notice of their glances. I stood with my two friends and waited till the train came up to us. Then we shook hands again, saying nothing; and both this timeтБатАФand, indeed, from old Sapt it seemed strangeтБатАФbared their heads, and so stood still till the train bore me away from their sight. So that it was thought some great man travelled privately for his pleasure from the little station that morning; whereas, in truth it was only I, Rudolf Rassendyll, an English gentleman, a cadet of a good house, but a man of no wealth nor position, nor of much rank. They would have been disappointed to know that. Yet had they known all they would have looked more curiously still. For, be I what I might now, I had been for three months a king, which, if not a thing to be proud of, is at least an experience to have undergone. Doubtless I should have thought more of it, had there not echoed through the air, from the towers of Zenda that we were leaving far away, into my ears and into my heart the cry of a womanтАЩs loveтБатАФтАЬRudolf! Rudolf! Rudolf!тАЭ + 

Hark! I hear it now! + 