Scene + 

IV + 

A room in Doctor Caius’s house, a door in back leading to a small closet; two other doors, one leading to the street with a window beside it. + 

Enter Mistress Quickly and Simple. + 

Mistress Quickly + 

Calling. What, John Rugby! + 

Enter Rugby. + 

I pray thee go to the casement, and see if you can see my master, Master Doctor Caius, coming: if he do, i’ faith, and find anybody in the house, here will be an old abusing of God’s patience and the King’s English. + 

Rugby + 

I’ll go watch. + 

Mistress Quickly + 

Go; and we’ll have a posset for’t soon at night, in faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire. + 

Rugby goes to window. + 

An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall come in house withal; and, I warrant you, no telltale nor no breed-bate; his worst fault is that he is given to prayer; he is something peevish that way; but nobody but has his fault; but let that pass. Peter Simple you say your name is? + 

Simple + 

Ay, for fault of a better. + 

Mistress Quickly + 

And Master Slender’s your master? + 

Simple + 

Ay, forsooth. + 

Mistress Quickly + 

Does he not wear a great round beard, like a glover’s paring-knife? + 

Simple + 

No, forsooth; he hath but a little whey face, with a little yellow beard⁠—a cane-coloured beard. + 

Mistress Quickly + 

A softly-sprighted man, is he not? + 

Simple + 

Ay, forsooth; but he is as tall a man of his hands as any is between this and his head; he hath fought with a warrener. + 

Mistress Quickly + 

How say you?⁠—O! I should remember him. Does he not hold up his head, as it were, and strut in his gait? + 

Simple + 

Yes, indeed, does he. + 

Mistress Quickly + 

Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune! Tell Master Parson Evans I will do what I can for your master: Anne is a good girl, and I wish⁠— + 

Rugby + 

Rugby calls from window. Out, alas! here comes my master. + 

Mistress Quickly + 

We shall all be shent. Run in here, good young man; go into this closet. Shuts Simple in the closet. He will not stay long. Calling. What, John Rugby! John! what, John, I say! + 

Enter Doctor Caius, she feigns not to see him. + 

Go, John, go inquire for my master; I doubt he be not well that he comes not home. + 

Sings. And down, down, adown-a, etc. + 

Doctor Caius + 

Suspicious. Vat is you sing? I do not like des toys. Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet une boitine verde⁠—a box, a green-a box: testily do intend vat I speak? a green-a box. He busies himself with papers. + 

Mistress Quickly + 

Ay, forsooth, I’ll fetch it you. Aside. I am glad he went not in himself: if he had found the young man, he would have been horn-mad. She goes to closet. + 

Doctor Caius + 

Wipes his forehead. + 

Fe, fe, fe fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je m’en vais à la cour⁠—la grande affaire. + 

Mistress Quickly + 

Returning with a green case. Is it this, sir? + 

Doctor Caius + 

Oui; mettez le au mon pocket: depechez, Quickly⁠—Vere is dat knave, Rugby? + 

Mistress Quickly + 

What, John Rugby? John! + 

Rugby + 

Comes forward. Here, sir. + 

Doctor Caius + 

You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby: come, take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to de court. + 

Rugby + 

Opening the door. ’Tis ready, sir, here in the porch. + 

Doctor Caius + 

Following swiftly. By my trot, I tarry too long stops⁠—Od’s me! Qu’ay j’oublie? Rushes to the closet. Dere is some simples in my closet dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave behind. + 

Mistress Quickly + 

Aside. Ay me, he’ll find the young man there, and be mad! + 

Doctor Caius + 

Discovers Simple. O diable, diable! vat is in my closet?⁠—Villainy! larron! Pulling Simple out. Rugby, my rapier! + 

Mistress Quickly + 

Good master, be content. + 

Doctor Caius + 

Verefore shall I be content-a? + 

Mistress Quickly + 

The young man is an honest man. + 

Doctor Caius + 

What shall de honest man do in my closet? dere is no honest man dat shall come in my closet. + 

Mistress Quickly + 

I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic. Hear the truth of it: he came of an errand to me from Parson Hugh. + 

Doctor Caius + 

Vell. + 

Simple + 

Ay, forsooth, to desire her to⁠— + 

Mistress Quickly + 

Peace, I pray you. + 

Doctor Caius + 

Peace-a your tongue!⁠—Speak-a your tale. + 

Simple + 

To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to speak a good word to Mistress Anne Page for my master, in the way of marriage. + 

Mistress Quickly + 

This is all, indeed, la! but I’ll ne’er put my finger in the fire, and need not. + 

Doctor Caius + 

Sir Hugh send-a you?⁠—Rugby, baillez me some paper: tarry you a little-a while. He sits at desk and writes. + 

Mistress Quickly + 

Draws Simple aside. I am glad he is so quiet: if he had been throughly moved, you should have heard him so loud and so melancholy. But notwithstanding, man, I’ll do you your master what good I can; and the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my master⁠—I may call him my master, look you, for I keep his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and do all myself⁠— + 

Simple + 

’Tis a great charge to come under one body’s hand. + 

Mistress Quickly + 

Are you avis’d o’ that? You shall find it a great charge; and to be up early and down late; but notwithstanding⁠—to tell you in your ear⁠—I would have no words of it⁠—my master himself is in love with Mistress Anne Page; but notwithstanding that, I know Anne’s mind, that’s neither here nor there. + 

Doctor Caius + 

Rising and folding letter. You jack’nape; give-a dis letter to Sir Hugh; by gar, it is a shallenge: I will cut his troat in de Park; and I will teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest to meddle or make. You may be gone; it is not good you tarry here: by gar, I will cut all his two stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone to throw at his dog. + 

Exit Simple. + 

Mistress Quickly + 

Alas, he speaks but for his friend. + 

Doctor Caius + 

Turns upon her. It is no matter-a ver dat:⁠—do not you tell-a me dat I shall have Anne Page for myself? By gar, I vill kill de Jack priest; and I have appointed mine host of de Jartiere to measure our weapon. By gar, I vill myself have Anne Page. + 

Mistress Quickly + 

Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well. We must give folks leave to prate: he boxes her ears what, the good-jer! Rubbing her head. + 

Doctor Caius + 

Rugby, come to the court vit me. To Mistress Quickly. By gar, if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my door. Follow my heels, Rugby. + 

Exeunt Doctor Caius and Rugby. + 

Mistress Quickly + 

You shall have An the door shuts fool’s-head of your own. No, I know Anne’s mind for that: never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne’s mind than I do; nor can do more than I do with her, I thank heaven. + 

Fenton + 

Within. Who’s within there? ho! + 

Mistress Quickly + 

Who’s there, I trow? Come near the house, I pray you. + 

Enter Fenton. + 

Fenton + 

How now, good woman! how dost thou? + 

Mistress Quickly + 

The better, that it pleases your good worship to ask. + 

Fenton + 

What news? how does pretty Mistress Anne? + 

Mistress Quickly + 

In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by the way; I praise heaven for it. + 

Fenton + 

Shall I do any good, thinkest thou? Shall I not lose my suit? + 

Mistress Quickly + 

Troth, sir, all is in His hands above; but notwithstanding, Master Fenton, I’ll be sworn on a book she loves you. Have not your worship a wart above your eye? + 

Fenton + 

Yes, marry, have I; what of that? + 

Mistress Quickly + 

Well, thereby hangs a tale; good faith, it is such another Nan; but, I detest, an honest maid as ever broke bread. We had an hour’s talk of that wart; I shall never laugh but in that maid’s company;⁠—but, indeed, she is given too much to allicholy and musing. But for you⁠—well, go to. + 

Fenton + 

Well, I shall see her today. Hold, there’s money for thee; let me have thy voice in my behalf: if thou seest her before me, commend me. + 

Mistress Quickly + 

Will I? i’ faith, that we will; and I will tell your worship more of the wart the next time we have confidence; and of other wooers. + 

Fenton + 

Well, farewell; I am in great haste now. + 

Mistress Quickly + 

Farewell to your worship.⁠— + 

Exit Fenton. + 

Truly, an honest gentleman; but Anne loves him not; for I know Anne’s mind as well as another does. Out upon’t, what have I forgot? + 

Exit. + 