Scene + 

I + 

A street before the house of Mistress Page. + 

Enter Mistress Page, Mistress Quickly, and William. + 

Mistress Page + 

Is he at Master Ford’s already, think’st thou? + 

Mistress Quickly + 

Sure he is by this; or will be presently; but truly he is very courageous mad about his throwing into the water. Mistress Ford desires you to come suddenly. + 

Mistress Page + 

I’ll be with her by and by; I’ll but bring my young man here to school. Look where his master comes; ’tis a playing day, I see. + 

Enter Sir Hugh Evans. + 

How now, Sir Hugh, no school today? + 

Sir Hugh Evans + 

No; Master Slender is let the boys leave to play. + 

Mistress Quickly + 

Blessing of his heart! + 

Mistress Page + 

Sir Hugh, my husband says my son profits nothing in the world at his book; I pray you ask him some questions in his accidence. + 

Sir Hugh Evans + 

Come hither, William; hold up your head; come. + 

Mistress Page + 

Come on, sirrah; hold up your head; answer your master; be not afraid. + 

Sir Hugh Evans + 

William, how many numbers is in nouns? + 

William + 

Two + 

Mistress Quickly + 

Truly, I thought there had been one number more, because they say “Od’s nouns.” + 

Sir Hugh Evans + 

Peace your tattlings! What is “fair,” William? + 

William + 

Pulcher. + 

Mistress Quickly + 

Polecats! There are fairer things than polecats, sure. + 

Sir Hugh Evans + 

You are a very simplicity ’oman; I pray you, peace. What is “lapis,” William? + 

William + 

A stone. + 

Sir Hugh Evans + 

And what is “a stone,” William? + 

William + 

A pebble. + 

Sir Hugh Evans + 

No, it is “lapis”; I pray you remember in your prain. + 

William + 

Lapis. + 

Sir Hugh Evans + 

That is a good William. What is he, William, that does lend articles? + 

William + 

Articles are borrowed of the pronoun, and be thus declined: Singulariter, nominativo; hic, haec, hoc. + 

Sir Hugh Evans + 

Nominativo, hig, hag, hog; pray you, mark: genitivo, hujus. Well, what is your accusative case? + 

William + 

Accusativo, hinc. + 

Sir Hugh Evans + 

I pray you, have your remembrance, child. Accusativo, hung, hang, hog. + 

Mistress Quickly + 

“Hang-hog” is Latin for bacon, I warrant you. + 

Sir Hugh Evans + 

Leave your prabbles, ’oman. What is the focative case, William? + 

William + 

Scratches his head. O vocativo, O. + 

Sir Hugh Evans + 

Remember, William: focative is caret. + 

Mistress Quickly + 

And that’s a good root. + 

Sir Hugh Evans + 

’Oman, forbear. + 

Mistress Page + 

Peace. + 

Sir Hugh Evans + 

What is your genitive case plural, William? + 

William + 

Genitive case? + 

Sir Hugh Evans + 

Ay. + 

William + 

Genitive: horum, harum, horum. + 

Mistress Quickly + 

Vengeance of Jenny’s case; fie on her! Never name her, child, if she be a whore. + 

Sir Hugh Evans + 

For shame, ’oman. + 

Mistress Quickly + 

You do ill to teach the child such words. He teaches him to hick and to hack, which they’ll do fast enough of themselves; and to call “horum;” fie upon you! + 

Sir Hugh Evans + 

’Oman, art thou lunatics? Hast thou no understandings for thy cases, and the numbers of the genders? Thou art as foolish Christian creatures as I would desires. + 

Mistress Page + 

To Mistress Quickly. Prithee, hold thy peace. + 

Sir Hugh Evans + 

Show me now, William, some declensions of your pronouns. + 

William + 

Forsooth, I have forgot. + 

Sir Hugh Evans + 

It is qui, quae, quod; if you forget your “quis,” your “quaes,” and your “quods,” you must be preeches. Go your ways and play; go. + 

Mistress Page + 

He is a better scholar than I thought he was. + 

Sir Hugh Evans + 

He is a good sprag memory. Farewell, Mistress Page. + 

Mistress Page + 

Adieu, good Sir Hugh. + 

Exit Sir Hugh Evans. + 

Get you home, boy. Come, we stay too long. + 

Exeunt. + 