XXI
Ninth Trial of the Ring
Of Things Lost and Found
To Serve as a Supplement to the Learned Treatise of Pancirollus, and to the Memoirs of the Academy of Inscriptions
Mangogul returning to his palace, pondering on the ridiculous airs which women give themselves, found himself, whether through absence of mind, or some blunder of his ring, under the portico of the sumptuous building, which Thelis has decorated with the rich spoils of her lovers. He embraced the opportunity, to interrogate her Toy.
Thelis was the wife of the Emir Sambuco, whose ancestors had reign’d in Guinea. Sambuco had acquired a high reputation in Congo, by five or six signal victories, which he had gain’d over Erguebzed’s enemies. As he was not a less able negotiator than a great captain, he had been employ’d in embassies of the greatest consequence, and executed his high trust with superior talents. On his return from Loango he saw Thelis, and was smitten. He was then upon the brink of fifty, and Thelis was not above twenty-five. She was rather agreeable than a beauty: the women said she was well enough, and the men thought her charming. Powerful matches sought her; but whether she had already fix’d her notions, or that there was too great a disproportion of fortune between her and her admirers, they were all rejected. Sambuco saw her, laid at her feet immense riches, a great name, laurels, and titles inferior to none but those of sovereigns, and obtain’d her.
Thelis was, or appear’d virtuous for six whole weeks after her marriage. But a Toy born voluptuous, seldom conquers itself; and a quinquagenarian husband, though otherwise ever so great a hero, is a madman, if he flatters himself with conquering such an enemy. Although Thelis mix’d prudence with her conduct, her first adventures were not unknown. This was sufficient for supposing afterwards, that she had others undisclosed: and Mangogul, desirous of full information, hastened to pass from the porch of her palace into her apartment.
It was then the middle of summer. The heat was excessive, and Thelis, after dining, had thrown herself on a couch, in a back closet adorned with glasses and paintings. She was asleep, her hand leaning on a collection of Persian tales, which had lull’d her to repose.
Mangogul view’d her some time, allowed that she had charms, and turn’d his ring on her. “I remember it as perfectly as if it had been yesterday: nine proofs of love in four hours. Ah! what moments! Zermounzaid is a divine man! He is not the old frozen Sambuco.—Dear Zermounzaid, I had been ignorant of true pleasures, real good: you alone made me sensible of them.”
Mangogul, desirous of learning the particulars of Thelis’s commerce with Zermounzaid, which the Toy kept from him, by dwelling on what affects a Toy the most feelingly, rubb’d the stone of his ring for some time against his waistcoat, and levell’d it, quite sparkling with light, at Thelis. Its influence soon reach’d her Toy, which being thereby better informed of what was required of it, re-assumed its discourse in a more historical strain.
“Sambuco commanded the Monoémugian army, and I followed him to the field. Zermounzaid served under him in quality of a colonel, and the general, who honoured him with his confidence, had put us under his escort. The zealous Zermounzaid did not abandon his post: he thought it too pleasing, to resign it: and the danger of losing it was the only one he fear’d during the whole campaign.
“While we were in winter quarters, I entertained a few new guests; Cacil, Jekia, Almamoun, Jasub, Selim, Manzora, Nereskim, all military men, who were commended by Zermounzaid, but were inferior to him. The credulous Sambuco relied for his wife’s virtue on herself, and on Zermounzaid’s care: and being entirely taken up with the immense business of the war, and the great operations which he was meditating for the glory of Congo, he never had the least suspicion either of the treachery of Zermounzaid, or the infidelity of Thelis.
“The war continued; the armies took the field, and we our litters. As they went a very slow pace, the main body of the army gain’d ground of us, and we found ourselves in the rear, which Zermounzaid commanded. This gallant youth, whom the sight of the greatest dangers had never made to swerve a foot from the path of glory, could not resist that of pleasure. He entrusted a subaltern with the care of watching the motions of the enemy, who harrassed us; and got up into our litter: but he was hardly there, when we heard a confused noise of arms and outcries. Zermounzaid, leaving his business half done, attempts to jump out: but he is level’d with the ground, and we become a prey to the conqueror.
“Thus I began by swallowing up the honor and services of an officer, who from his valour and merit might have expected the highest military employments, if he had never known his general’s wife. Upwards of three thousand men fell in this action; and therefore of so many good subjects have we robb’d the nation.”
Let anyone, if he can, imagine Mangogul’s surprise at this discourse. He had heard Zermounzaid’s funeral oration, and did not know him by these features. His father Erguebzed had regretted this officer: the newspapers, after lavishing the highest eulogies on his fine retreat, had attributed his defeat and death to the enemy’s superior numbers, which, as they said, were found to be six to one. All Congo had lamented a man, who had done his duty so well. His wife obtain’d a pension: his regiment was given to his eldest son, and an ecclesiastical preferment promised to his younger.
“What horror!” cried Mangogul, but softly. “A husband dishonor’d, the state betray’d, subjects sacrificed, crimes not only concealed, but even rewarded as virtues: and all that for a Toy.”
Thelis’s Toy, which had stopped to take breath, continued: “Thus am I abandoned to the enemy’s discretion. A regiment of dragoons was ready to fall upon us. Thelis seem’d quite frighted, and yet wish’d nothing more ardently: but the charms of the prey sowed discord among the plunderers. The scimiters were drawn, and thirty or forty men were massacred in the twinkling of an eye. The noise of this disorder reach’d the general officer. He ran thither, calmed the furious soldiers, and sequestrated us under a tent; where we had not time to know ourselves, when he came and demanded the price of his good services. ‘Woe to the vanquished,’ cried Thelis, falling backward on a bed: and the whole night was spent in feeling her misfortune.
“The next day we found ourselves on the banks of the Niger. A saick was waiting for us, and my mistress and I set out, in order to be presented to the emperor of Benin. In this twenty-four hours voyage the captain of the vessel offer’d himself to Thelis, and was accepted: and I found by experience, that the sea service is infinitely brisker than the land service.
“We saw the emperor of Benin. He was young, ardent, voluptuous. Thelis made a conquest of him: but those of her husband affrighted the monarch. He demanded peace: and the price, at which he purchased it, was but three provinces and my ransom.
“Different times, different fatigues. Sambuco came to know, I can’t tell how, the reason of the misfortunes of the preceding campaign; and during this, he deposited me with a friend of his, a chief of the Bramins, on the frontiers. The holy man made but a weak defence: he was ensnared by the wiles of Thelis, and in less than six months devoured his immense income, three lakes and two forests.”
“Mercy,” cried Mangogul, “three lakes and two forests! What an appetite for a Toy!”
“ ’Tis a mere trifle,” resumed the Toy. “Peace was made, and Thelis accompanied her husband in his embassy to Monomotapa. She gamed, and very fairly lost a hundred thousand sequins in one day, which I won back again in an hour. A minister, whose master’s affairs did not fill up all his time, fell into my clutches; and in three or four months I eat him up a fine landed estate, together with his castle well furnish’d, a park, and equipage, with the little pied horses. A favor of four minutes duration, but well spun out, brought us in feasts, presents and jewels: and the blind or politic Sambuco did not disturb us.
“I shall not bring into the accompt,” added the Toy, “the marquisats, counties, titles, coats of arms, etc. which have been eclipsed at my appearance. Apply to my secretary, who will tell you what is become of them. I have close-pared the horns of the dominions of Biafara, and am in possession of an entire province of Beleguanza. Erguebzed made overtures to me a little before his death.” At these words Mangogul turn’d off his ring, and silenced this gulf: he respected his father’s memory, and would hear nothing that might tarnish the splendor of the great qualities, which he knew were in him.
Returning to the seraglio, he entertained the favorite with the vapored ladies, and with the trial of his ring on Thelis. “You admit this woman,” said he, “to your familiarity: but in all probability you do not know her as well as I.”
“I understand you, sir,” answered the Sultana. “Her Toy has perhaps been foolish enough to give you a narrative of her adventures with the general Micokof, the Emir Feridour, the senator Marsupha, and the great Bramin Ramanadanutio. But pray, who is ignorant, that she keeps young Alamir, and that old Sambuco, who speaks not a word, is as well apprized of it as you.”
“You have not hit the mark,” replied Mangogul. “I have compell’d her Toy to make a full discharge.”
“Had it swallowed anything of yours,” said Mirzoza. “No,” said the Sultan, “but much belonging to my subjects, to the grandees of my empire, to the neighbouring potentates; as estates, provinces, castles, lakes, forests, diamonds, equipages, with the little pied horses.”
“Without reckoning their reputation and virtue, sir,” added Mirzoza. “I cannot tell what benefit you will reap by your ring; but the more you try it, the more odious my sex becomes to me: even those, whom I thought I justly held in some esteem, are not expected. They have thrown me me into such an humor, that I beg your highness will allow me to indulge it alone for some moments.” Mangogul, who knew that the favorite was an enemy to all constraint, kiss’d her right ear thrice, and retired.