IV + 

God in the Cellar + 

G. H. Bondy sucked meditatively at his cigar. + 

вАЬAnd how did you find it out, old chap?вАЭ he asked at last. + 

вАЬBy the effect on myself,вАЭ said the engineer, resuming his march up and down the room. вАЬAs a result of its complete disintegration of matter, my Perfect Karburator manufactures a byproduct: pure and unconfined Absolute, God in a chemically pure form. At one end, so to speak, it emits mechanical power, and at the other, the divine principle. Just as when you split water up into hydrogen and oxygen, only on an immensely larger scale.вАЭ + 

вАЬHm,вАЭ said Mr.¬†Bondy. вАЬAnd thenвБ†вАФ?вАЭ + 

вАЬIвАЩve an idea,вАЭ continued Marek cautiously, вАЬthat there are many of the elect who can separate the material substance in themselves from the divine substance. They can release or distil the Absolute, as it were, from their material selves. Christ and the miracle-workers, fakirs, mediums, and prophets have achieved it by means of their psychic power. My Karburator does it by a purely mechanical process. It acts, you might say, as a factory for the Absolute.вАЭ + 

вАЬFacts,вАЭ said G. H. Bondy. вАЬStick to facts.вАЭ + 

вАЬThese are facts. I constructed my Perfect Karburator only in theory to begin with. Then I made a little model, which wouldnвАЩt go. The fourth model was the first that really worked. It was only about so big, but it ran quite nicely. But even while I was working with it on this small scale, I felt peculiar psychical effectsвБ†вАФa strange exhilarationвБ†вАФa вАШfeyвАЩ feeling. But I thought it was due to being so pleased about the invention, or to being overworked, perhaps. It was then that I first began to prophesy and perform miracles.вАЭ + 

вАЬTo do what?вАЭ Bondy cried. + 

вАЬTo prophesy and perform miracles,вАЭ Marek repeated gloomily. вАЬI had moments of astounding illumination. I saw, for instance, quite clearly, things that would happen in the future. I predicted even your visit here. And once I tore my nail off on a lathe. I looked at the damaged finger, and all at once a new nail grew on it. Very likely IвАЩd formed the wish, but all the same itвАЩs queer andвБ†вАКвБ†вА¶ terrible. Another timeвБ†вАФjust think of itвБ†вАФI rose right up into the air. ItвАЩs called levitation, you know. I never believed in any rubbish of that kind, so you can imagine the shock it gave me.вАЭ + 

вАЬI can quite believe it,вАЭ said Bondy gravely. вАЬIt must be most distressing.вАЭ + 

вАЬExtremely distressing. I thought it must be due to nerves, a kind of autosuggestion or something. In the meanwhile I erected the big Karburator in the cellar and started it off. As I told you, itвАЩs been running now for six weeks, day and night. And it was there that I first realized the full significance of the business. In a single day the cellar was chock-full of the Absolute, ready to burst with it; and it began to spread all over the house. The pure Absolute penetrates all matter, you know, but it takes a little longer with solid substances. In the air it spreads as swiftly as light. When I went in, I tell you, man, it took me like a stroke. I shrieked out aloud. I donвАЩt know where I got the strength to run away. When I got upstairs, I thought over the whole business. My first notion was that it must be some new intoxicating, stimulating gas, developed by the process of complete combustion. ThatвАЩs why I had that ventilator fixed up, from the outside. Two of the fitters on the job вАШsaw the lightвАЩ and had visions; the third was a drinker and so perhaps to some extent immune. As long as I thought it was only a gas, I made a series of experiments with it, and itвАЩs interesting to find that any light burns much more brightly in the Absolute. If it would let itself be confined in glass bulbs, IвАЩd fill lamps with it; but it escapes from any vessel, however thick you make it. Then I decided it must be some sort of Ultra-X-ray, but thereвАЩs no trace of any form of electricity, and it makes no impression on photosensitive plates. On the third day, the porter and his wife, who live just over the cellar, had to be taken off to the sanatorium.вАЭ + 

вАЬWhat for?вАЭ asked Bondy. + 

вАЬHe got religion. He was inspired. He gave religious addresses and performed miracles. His wife uttered prophecies. My porter had been a thoroughly hardheaded chap, a monist and a freethinker, and an unusually steady fellow. Well, just fancy, from no visible cause whatever, he started healing people by laying on of hands. Of course, Bondy, he was reported at once. The district health officer, who is a friend of mine, was tremendously upset about it; so, to avoid any scandal, I had the porter sent to a sanatorium. They say heвАЩs better now; quite cured. He has lost the power to perform miracles. IвАЩm going to send him on the land to recuperateвБ†вАКвБ†вА¶ Then I began to work miracles myself and see into the future. Among other things, I had visions of gigantic, swampy primeval forests, overgrown with mosses and inhabited by weird monstersвБ†вАФprobably because the Karburator was burning Upper Silesian coal, which is of the oldest formation. Possibly the God of the Carboniferous Age is in it.вАЭ + 

Mr.¬†Bondy shuddered. вАЬMarek, this is frightful!вАЭ + 

вАЬIt is indeed,вАЭ said Marek sorrowfully. вАЬGradually I began to see that it wasnвАЩt gas, but the Absolute. The symptoms were terrible. I could read peopleвАЩs thoughts, light emanated from me, I had a desperate struggle not to become absorbed in prayer and preach belief in God. I tried to clog the Karburator up with sand, but I was seized with a bout of levitation. That machine wonвАЩt let anything stop it. I donвАЩt sleep at home nowadays. Even in the factory there have been several serious cases of illumination among the workmen. I donвАЩt know where to turn, Bondy. Yes, IвАЩve tried every possible isolating material that might prevent the Absolute from getting out of the cellar. Ashes, sand, metal walls, nothing can keep it back. IвАЩve even tried covering the cellar with the works of Professor KrejƒНi, Spencer, Haeckel, and all the Positivists you can think of: would you believe it, the Absolute goes calmly through even that stuff! Even papers, prayer-books, Lives of the Saints, Patriotic Songbooks, university lectures, bestsellers, political treatises, and Parliamentary Reports, present no obstacle to it. IвАЩm simply desperate. You canвАЩt shut it up, you canвАЩt soak it up. ItвАЩs mischief let loose.вАЭ + 

вАЬOh, but why?вАЭ said Mr.¬†Bondy. вАЬDoes it really mean such mischief? Even if all this were trueвБ†вАКвБ†вА¶ is it such a disaster?вАЭ + 

вАЬBondy, my Karburator is a terrific thing. It will overturn the whole world, mechanically and socially. It will cheapen production to an unbelievable extent. It will do away with poverty and hunger. It will some day save our planet from freezing up. But, on the other hand, it hurls God as a byproduct into the world. I implore you, Bondy, donвАЩt underrate what it means. We arenвАЩt used to reckoning with God as a reality. We donвАЩt know what His presence may bring aboutвБ†вАФsay, socially, morally, and so on. Why, man, this thing affects the whole of human civilization!вАЭ + 

вАЬWait a minute!вАЭ said Bondy thoughtfully. вАЬPerhaps thereвАЩs some charm or other that would exorcise it. Have you called in the clergy?вАЭ + 

вАЬWhat kind of clergy?вАЭ + 

вАЬAny kind. The denomination probably makes no difference in this case, you know. Perhaps they could do something to stop it.вАЭ + 

вАЬOh, thatвАЩs all superstition!вАЭ burst out Marek. вАЬLeave me alone with your parsons! Catch me giving them a chance to make a miraculous shrine out of my cellar! Me, with my views!вАЭ + 

вАЬVery well,вАЭ declared Mr.¬†Bondy. вАЬThen IвАЩll call them in myself. You never can tellвБ†вАКвБ†вА¶ Come, it canвАЩt do any harm, anyway. After all, I havenвАЩt anything against God. Only He oughtnвАЩt to interfere with business. Have you tried negotiating with Him in a friendly spirit?вАЭ + 

вАЬNo,вАЭ admitted the engineer. + 

вАЬThat was a mistake,вАЭ said Bondy dryly. вАЬPerhaps you could come to some agreement with Him. A proper formal contract, in something like this style: вАШWe guarantee to produce You discreetly and continuously to an extent to be fixed by mutual agreement; in return for which You pledge yourself to refrain from any divine manifestations within such and such a radius from the place of origin.вАЩ What do you thinkвБ†вАФwould He consider these terms?вАЭ + 

вАЬI donвАЩt know,вАЭ answered Marek uneasily. вАЬHe seems to have a decided inclination in favour of becoming independent of matter once more. Still, perhapsвБ†вАКвБ†вА¶ in His own interestsвБ†вАКвБ†вА¶ He might be willing to listen. But donвАЩt ask me to do it.вАЭ + 

вАЬVery well, then!вАЭ Bondy agreed. вАЬIвАЩll send my own solicitor. A very tactful and capable fellow. And then againвБ†вАКвБ†вА¶ erвБ†вАКвБ†вА¶ one might perhaps offer Him some church or other. After all, a factory cellar and its surroundings are ratherвБ†вАКвБ†вА¶ wellвБ†вАКвБ†вА¶ undignified quarters for Him. We ought to ascertain His tastes. Have you tried yet?вАЭ + 

вАЬNo; it would suit me best to flood the cellar with water.вАЭ + 

вАЬGently, Marek, gently. IвАЩm probably going to buy this invention. You understand, of course, thatвБ†вАКвБ†вА¶ IвАЩll send my experts over firstвБ†вАКвБ†вА¶ weвАЩll have to look into the business a little further. Perhaps itвАЩs only poisonous fumes, after all. And if it actually turns out to be God Himself, thatвАЩs all right. So long as the Karburator really works.вАЭ + 

Marek got up. вАЬAnd you wouldnвАЩt be afraid to install the Karburator in the M.E.C. works?вАЭ + 

вАЬIвАЩm not afraid,вАЭ said Bondy, rising, вАЬto manufacture Karburators wholesale. Karburators for trains and ships. Karburators for central heating, for houses, offices, factories, and schools. In ten yearsвАЩ time all the heating in the world will be done by Karburators. IвАЩll give you three percent, of the gross profits. The first year it will only be a few millions, perhaps. Meanwhile you can move out, so that I can send my men along. IвАЩll bring the Suffragan Bishop up tomorrow morning. See that you keep out of his way, Rudy. I donвАЩt like seeing you about here in any case. You are rather abrupt, and I donвАЩt want to offend the Absolute to start with.вАЭ + 

вАЬBondy,вАЭ Marek whispered, horror-stricken. вАЬI warn you for the last time. It means letting God loose upon this world!вАЭ + 

вАЬThen,вАЭ said G. H. Bondy, with dignity, вАЬHe will be personally indebted to me to that extent. And I hope that He wonвАЩt show me any ill-feeling.вАЭ + 