Scene
I
City streets. A crowd of students standing on a corner. It is raining.
Bertie
Believe me, this is the last time I’ll ever come to this town.
Tommy
Applesauce. That’s what you said last year. Wasn’t the game worth it?
Bertie
Yeah, but lookit the rain and me with no slicker!
Spike
I’ll say. It’s rained tom cats and chicken’s teeth very time I’ve come to Snako. Say, how about takin’ a slicker offa some of these bozos?
An old man passes, wearing a slicker.
Johnny
There’s your chance, Spike.
Spike
Nix, I respect age. Here comes somebody.
A Jalor student passes. He is six feet three inches and weighs 217 pounds.
Tommy
I respect age, all right, but I respect size a lot more.
Another Student
Say, you snake eaters, on your toes, there goes the gong.
Johnny
Hold on, that’s a green light.
Jerry
Aw, come on. That means go. He starts across the street.
Traffic cop
Hey! What you trying to pull *!*!*!xx* Censored.
Spike
There’s the right signal.
They walk down the street.
Bertie
Anyhow, we showed more pep than the Jalor student body. Eh! Johnny?
Johnny
What? Yeah—I—uh—gottasneeze! Ka-choo! A girl screams and runs in a store, a traffic cop jumps eight feet and reaches for his hip, and the clerks all look out of the stores.
Jerry
Say, save them red-blooded, he-man sneezes for the wide open spaces of West Texas. These Easterners ain’t rugged like we are.
Spike, Tommy and Bertie turn off from the rest and enter a café.
Tommy
Me eye, I ain’t ate nothin’ since supper yesterday, except a hamburger or two, a couple of ham sandwiches, three buns, an apricot tart, two ice-cream sodas, a chocolate malted milk, a couple of chocolate bars, and a sack of peanuts. Come on, I’m broke.
Both
So are we.
Tommy
This is a fine crowd.
Bertie
Hey, we’ve just got time to catch the train.
Tommy
Migosh! I’ve lost my ticket!
Exit.