V
Adam woke up feeling terribly ill. He rang his bell once or twice, but nobody came. Later he woke up again and rang the bell. The Italian waiter appeared, undulating slightly in the doorway. Adam ordered breakfast. Lottie came in and sat on his bed.
тАЬHad a nice breakfast, dear?тАЭ she said.
тАЬNot yet,тАЭ said Adam. тАЬIтАЩve only just woken up.тАЭ
тАЬThatтАЩs right,тАЭ said Lottie. тАЬNothing like a nice breakfast. There was a young lady for you on the phone, but I canтАЩt remember what it was she said at the minute. WeтАЩve all been upside down this morning. Such a fuss. Had the police in, we have, ever since I donтАЩt know what time, drinking up my wine and asking questions and putting their noses where theyтАЩre not wanted. All because Flossie must needs go and swing on the chandelier. She never had any sense, Flossie. Well, sheтАЩs learned her lesson now, poor girl. Whoever heard of such a thingтБатАФswinging on a chandelier. Poor Judge WhatтАЩs-his-name is in a terrible state about it. I said to him itтАЩs not so much the price of the chandelier, I said. What money can make, money can mend, I said, and thatтАЩs the truth, isnтАЩt it, dear? But what I mind, I said, is having a death in the house and all the fuss. It doesnтАЩt do anyone any good having people killing theirselves in a house like Flossie did. Now what may you want, my Italian queen?тАЭ said Lottie as the waiter came in with a tray, the smell of kippers contending with nuit de Noel rather disagreeably.
тАЬGentlemanтАЩs breakfast,тАЭ said the waiter.
тАЬAnd how many more breakfasts do you think he wants, I should like to know? HeтАЩs had his breakfast hours ago while you were powdering your nose downstairs, havenтАЩt you, dear?тАЭ
тАЬNo,тАЭ said Adam, тАЬas a matter of fact, no.тАЭ
тАЬThere, do you hear what the gentleman says? He doesnтАЩt want two breakfasts. DonтАЩt stand there wiggling your behind at me. Take it away quick or IтАЩll catch you such a smack.тБатАКтБатАж ThatтАЩs just the wayтБатАФonce you get the police in everyone gets all upset. ThereтАЩs that boy brings you two breakfasts and I dare say thereтАЩs some poor fellow along the passage somewhere who hasnтАЩt had any breakfast at all. You canтАЩt get anywhere without a nice breakfast. Half the young fellows as come here now donтАЩt have anything except a cachet Faivre and some orange juice. ItтАЩs not right,тАЭ said Lottie, тАЬand IтАЩve spoken to that boy about using scent twenty times if IтАЩve spoken once.тАЭ
The waiterтАЩs head appeared, and with it another wave of nuit de Noel.
тАЬIf you please, madam, the inspectors want to speak to you downstairs, madam.тАЭ
тАЬAll right, my little bird of paradise, IтАЩll be there.тАЭ
Lottie trotted away and the waiter came sidling back bearing his tray of kippers and leering at Adam with a horrible intimacy.
тАЬTurn on my bath, will you, please,тАЭ said Adam.
тАЬAlas, there is a gentleman asleep in the bath. Shall I wake him?тАЭ
тАЬNo, it doesnтАЩt matter.тАЭ
тАЬWill that be all, sir?тАЭ
тАЬYes, thank you.тАЭ
The waiter stood about fingering the brass knobs at the end of the bed, smiling ingratiatingly. Then he produced from under his coat a gardenia, slightly browned at the edges. (He had found it in an evening coat he had just been brushing.)
Would the signor perhaps like a buttonhole?тБатАКтБатАж Madame Crump was so severeтБатАКтБатАж it was nice sometimes to be able to have a talk with the gentlemenтБатАКтБатАж
тАЬNo,тАЭ said Adam. тАЬGo away.тАЭ For he had a headache.
The waiter sighed deeply, and walked with pettish steps to the door; sighed again and took the gardenia to the gentleman in the bathroom.
Adam ate some breakfast. No kipper, he reflected, is ever as good as it smells; how this too earthly contact with flesh and bone spoiled the first happy exhilaration; if only one could live, as Jehovah was said to have done, on the savour of burnt offerings. He lay back for a little in his bed thinking about the smells of food, of the greasy horror of fried fish and the deeply moving smell that came from it; of the intoxicating breath of bakeries and the dullness of buns.тБатАКтБатАж He planned dinners of enchanting aromatic foods that should be carried under the nose, snuffed and thrown to the dogsтБатАКтБатАж endless dinners, in which one could alternate flavour with flavour from sunset to dawn without satiety, while one breathed great draughts of the bouquet of old brandy.тБатАКтБатАж Oh for the wings of a dove, thought Adam, wandering a little from the point as he fell asleep again (everyone is liable to this ninetyish feeling in the early morning after a party).
Presently the telephone by AdamтАЩs bed began ringing.
тАЬHullo, yes.тАЭ
тАЬLady to speak to you.тБатАКтБатАж Hullo, is that you, Adam?тАЭ
тАЬIs that Nina?тАЭ
тАЬHow are you, my darling?тАЭ
тАЬOh, Nina.тБатАКтБатАжтАЭ
тАЬMy poor sweet, I feel like that, too. Listen, angel. You havenтАЩt forgotten that youтАЩre going to see my papa today, have youтБатАКтБатАж or have you? IтАЩve just sent him a wire to say that youтАЩre going to lunch with him. DтАЩyou know where he lives?тАЭ
тАЬBut youтАЩre coming too?тАЭ
тАЬWell, no. I donтАЩt think I will, if you donтАЩt mind.тБатАКтБатАж IтАЩve got rather a pain.тАЭ
тАЬMy dear, if you knew what a pain IтАЩve got.тБатАКтБатАжтАЭ
тАЬYes, but thatтАЩs different, darling. Anyway, thereтАЩs no object in our both going.тАЭ
тАЬBut what am I to say?тАЭ
тАЬDarling, donтАЩt be tiresome. You know perfectly well. Just ask him for some money.тАЭ
тАЬWill he like that?тАЭ
тАЬYes, darling, of course he will. Why will you go on? IтАЩve got to get up now. Goodbye. Take care of yourself.тБатАКтБатАж Ring me up when you get back and tell me what papa said. By the way, have you seen the paper this morning?тБатАФthereтАЩs something so funny about last night. Too bad of Van. Goodbye.тАЭ
While Adam was dressing, he realized that he did not know where he was to go. He rang up again. тАЬBy the way, Nina, where does your papa live?тАЭ
тАЬDidnтАЩt I tell you? ItтАЩs a house called Doubting, and itтАЩs all falling down really. You go to Aylesbury by train and then take a taxi. TheyтАЩre the most expensive taxis in the world, too.тБатАКтБатАж Have you got any money?тАЭ
Adam looked on the dressing-table: тАЬAbout seven shillings,тАЭ he said.
тАЬMy dear, thatтАЩs not enough. YouтАЩll have to make poor papa pay for the taxi.тАЭ
тАЬWill he like that?тАЭ
тАЬYes, of course, heтАЩs an angel.тАЭ
тАЬI wish youтАЩd come too, Nina.тАЭ
тАЬDarling, I told you. IтАЩve got such a pain.тАЭ
Downstairs, as Lottie had said, everything was upside down. That is to say that there were policemen and reporters teeming in every corner of the hotel, each with a bottle of champagne and a glass. Lottie, Doge, Judge Skimp, the Inspector, four plain-clothes men and the body were in Judge SkimpтАЩs suite.
тАЬWhat is not clear to me, sir,тАЭ said the Inspector, тАЬis what prompted the young lady to swing on the chandelier. Not wishing to cause offence, sir, and begging your pardon, was sheтБатАКтБатАжтАК?тАЭ
тАЬYes,тАЭ said Judge Skimp, тАЬshe was.тАЭ
тАЬExactly,тАЭ said the Inspector. тАЬA clear case of misadventure, eh, Mrs.┬аCrump? ThereтАЩll have to be an inquest, of course, but I think probably I shall be able to arrange things so that there is no mention of your name in the case, sirтБатАКтБатАж well, thatтАЩs very kind of you, Mrs.┬аCrump, perhaps just one more glass.тАЭ
тАЬLottie,тАЭ said Adam, тАЬcan you lend me some money?тАЭ
тАЬMoney, dear? Of course. Doge, have you got any money?тАЭ
тАЬI was asleep at the time myself, mum, and was not even made aware of the occurrence until I was called this morning. Being slightly deaf, the sound of the disasterтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ
тАЬJudge WhatтАЩs-your-name, got any money?тАЭ
тАЬI should take it as a great privilege if I could be of any assistanceтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ
тАЬThatтАЩs right, give some to young Thingummy here. That all you want, deary? DonтАЩt run away. WeтАЩre just thinking of having a little drink.тБатАКтБатАж No, not that wine, dear, itтАЩs what we keep for the police. IтАЩve just ordered a better bottle if my young butterfly would bring it along.тАЭ
Adam had a glass of champagne, hoping it would make him feel a little better. It made him feel much worse.
Then he went to Marylebone. It was Armistice Day, and they were selling artificial poppies in the streets. As he reached the station it struck eleven and for two minutes all over the country everyone was quiet and serious. Then he went to Aylesbury, reading on the way BalcairnтАЩs account of Archie SchwertтАЩs party. He was pleased to see himself described as тАЬthe brilliant young novelist,тАЭ and wondered whether NinaтАЩs papa read gossip paragraphs, and supposed not. The two women opposite him in the carriage obviously did.
тАЬI no sooner opened the paper,тАЭ said one, тАЬthan I was on the phone at once to all the ladies of the committee, and weтАЩd sent off a wire to our Member before one oтАЩclock. We know how to make things hum at the Bois. IтАЩve got a copy of what we sent. Look. Members of the Committee of the LadiesтАЩ Conservative Association at Chesham Bois wish to express their extreme displeasure at reports in this morningтАЩs paper of midnight party at No.┬а10. They call upon Captain CrutwellтБатАФthatтАЩs our Member; such a nice stamp of manтБатАФstrenuously to withhold support to Prime Minister. It cost nearly four shillings, but, as I said at the time, it was not a moment to spoil the ship for a haтАЩpтАЩorth of tar. DonтАЩt you agree, Mrs.┬аIthewaite?тАЭ
тАЬI do, indeed, Mrs.┬аOrraway-Smith. It is clearly a case in which a mandate from the constituencies is required. IтАЩll talk to our chairwoman at Wendover.тАЭ
тАЬYes, do, Mrs.┬аIthewaite. It is in a case like this that the womanтАЩs vote can count.тАЭ
тАЬIf itтАЩs a choice between my moral judgement and the nationalization of banking, I prefer nationalization, if you see what I mean.тАЭ
тАЬExactly what I think. Such a terrible example to the lower classes, apart from everything.тАЭ
тАЬThatтАЩs what I mean. ThereтАЩs our Agnes, now. How can I stop her having young men in the kitchen when she knows that Sir James Brown has parties like that at all hours of the night.тБатАКтБатАжтАЭ
They were both wearing hats like nothing on earth, which bobbed and nodded as they spoke.
At Aylesbury Adam got into a Ford taxi and asked to be taken to a house called Doubting.
тАЬDoubting тАЩAll?тАЭ
тАЬWell, I suppose so. Is it falling down?тАЭ
тАЬCould do with a lick of paint,тАЭ said the driver, a spotty youth. тАЬName of Blount.тАЭ
тАЬThatтАЩs it.тАЭ
тАЬLong way from here Doubting тАЩAll is. Cost you fifteen bob.тАЭ
тАЬAll right.тАЭ
тАЬIf youтАЩre a commercial, I can tell you straight it ainтАЩt no use going to тАЩim. Young feller asked me the way there this morning. Driving a Morris. Wanted to sell him a vacuum cleaner. Old boy тАЩad answered an advertisement asking for a demonstration. When he got there the old boy wouldnтАЩt even look at it. Can you beat that?тАЭ
тАЬNo, IтАЩm not trying to sell him anythingтБатАФat least not exactly.тАЭ
тАЬPersonal visit, perhaps.тАЭ
тАЬYes.тАЭ
тАЬAh.тАЭ
Satisfied that his passenger was in earnest about the journey, the taxi-driver put on some coatsтБатАФfor it was rainingтБатАФgot out of his seat and cranked up the engine. Presently they started.
They drove for a mile or two past bungalows and villas and timbered public houses to a village in which every house seemed to be a garage and filling station. Here they left the main road and AdamтАЩs discomfort became acute.
At last they came to twin octagonal lodges and some heraldic gateposts and large wrought-iron gates, behind which could be seen a broad sweep of ill-kept drive.
тАЬDoubting тАЩAll,тАЭ said the driver.
He blew his horn once or twice, but no lodge-keeperтАЩs wife, aproned and apple-cheeked, appeared to bob them in. He got out and shook the gates reproachfully.
тАЬChained-and-locked,тАЭ he said. тАЬTry another way.тАЭ
They drove on for another mile; on the side of the Hall the road was bordered by dripping trees and a dilapidated stone wall; presently they reached some cottages and a white gate. This they opened and turned into a rough track, separated from the park by low iron railings. There were sheep grazing on either side. One of them had strayed into the drive. It fled before them in a frenzied trot, stopping and looking round over its dirty tail and then plunging on again until its agitation brought it to the side of the path, where they overtook it and passed it.
The track led to some stables, then behind rows of hothouses, among potting-sheds and heaps of drenched leaves, past nondescript outbuildings that had once been laundry and bakery and brewhouse and a huge kennel where once someone had kept a bear, until suddenly it turned by a clump of holly and elms and laurel bushes into an open space that had once been laid with gravel. A lofty Palladian fa├зade stretched before them and in front of it an equestrian statue pointed a baton imperiously down the main drive.
тАЬтАКтАЩEre yтАЩare,тАЭ said the driver.
Adam paid him and went up the steps to the front door. He rang the bell and waited. Nothing happened. Presently he rang again. At this moment the door opened.
тАЬDonтАЩt ring twice,тАЭ said a very angry old man. тАЬWhat do you want?тАЭ
тАЬIs Mr.┬аBlount in?тАЭ
тАЬThereтАЩs no Mr.┬аBlount here. This is Colonel BlountтАЩs house.тАЭ
тАЬIтАЩm sorry.тБатАКтБатАж I think the Colonel is expecting me to luncheon.тАЭ
тАЬNonsense. IтАЩm Colonel Blount,тАЭ and he shut the door.
The Ford had disappeared. It was still raining hard. Adam rang again.
тАЬYes,тАЭ said Colonel Blount, appearing instantly.
тАЬI wonder if youтАЩd let me telephone to the station for a taxi?тАЭ
тАЬNot on the telephone.тБатАКтБатАж ItтАЩs raining. Why donтАЩt you come in? ItтАЩs absurd to walk to the station in this. Have you come about the vacuum cleaner?тАЭ
тАЬNo.тАЭ
тАЬFunny, IтАЩve been expecting a man all the morning to show me a vacuum cleaner. Come in, do. WonтАЩt you stay to luncheon?тАЭ
тАЬI should love to.тАЭ
тАЬSplendid. I get very little company nowadays. You must forgive me for opening the door to you myself. My butler is in bed today. He suffers terribly in his feet when it is wet. Both my footmen were killed in the war.тБатАКтБатАж Put your hat and coat here. I hope you havenтАЩt got wet.тБатАКтБатАж IтАЩm sorry you didnтАЩt bring the vacuum cleanerтБатАКтБатАж but never mind. How are you?тАЭ he said, suddenly holding out his hand.
They shook hands and Colonel Blount led the way down a long corridor, lined with marble busts on yellow marble pedestals, to a large room full of furniture, with a fire burning in a fine rococo fireplace. There was a large leather-topped walnut writing-table under a window opening on to a terrace. Colonel Blount picked up a telegram and read it.
тАЬIтАЩd quite forgotten,тАЭ he said in some confusion. тАЬIтАЩm afraid youтАЩll think me very discourteous, but it is, after all, impossible for me to ask you to luncheon. I have a guest coming on very intimate family business. You understand, donтАЩt you?тБатАКтБатАж To tell you the truth, itтАЩs some young rascal who wants to marry my daughter. I must see him alone to discuss settlements.тАЭ
тАЬWell, I want to marry your daughter, too,тАЭ said Adam.
тАЬWhat an extraordinary coincidence. Are you sure you do?тАЭ
тАЬPerhaps the telegram may be about me. What does it say?тАЭ
тАЬтАКтАШEngaged to marry Adam Symes. Expect him luncheon. Nina.тАЩ Are you Adam Symes?тАЭ
тАЬYes.тАЭ
тАЬMy dear boy, why didnтАЩt you say so before, instead of going on about a vacuum cleaner? How are you?тАЭ
They shook hands again.
тАЬIf you donтАЩt mind,тАЭ said Colonel Blount, тАЬwe will keep our business until after luncheon. IтАЩm afraid everything is looking very bare at present. You must come down and see the gardens in the summer. We had some lovely hydrangeas last year. I donтАЩt think I shall live here another winter. Too big for an old man. I was looking at some of the houses theyтАЩre putting up outside Aylesbury. Did you see them coming along? Nice little red houses. Bathroom and everything. Quite cheap, too, and near the cinematographs. I hope you are fond of the cinematograph too? The Rector and I go a great deal. I hope youтАЩll like the Rector. Common little man rather. But heтАЩs got a motor car, useful that. How long are you staying?тАЭ
тАЬI promised Nina IтАЩd be back tonight.тАЭ
тАЬThatтАЩs a pity. They change the film at the Electra Palace. We might have gone.тАЭ
An elderly woman servant came in to announce luncheon. тАЬWhat is at the Electra Palace, do you know, Mrs.┬аFlorin?тАЭ
тАЬGreta Garbo in Venetian Kisses, I think, sir.тАЭ
тАЬI donтАЩt really think I like Greta Garbo. IтАЩve tried to,тАЭ said Colonel Blount, тАЬbut I just donтАЩt.тАЭ
They went in to luncheon in a huge dining-room dark with family portraits.
тАЬIf you donтАЩt mind,тАЭ said Colonel Blount, тАЬI prefer not to talk at meals.тАЭ
He propped a morocco-bound volume of Punch before his plate against a vast silver urn, from which grew a small castor-oil plant.
тАЬGive Mr.┬аSymes a book,тАЭ he said.
Mrs.┬аFlorin put another volume of Punch beside Adam.
тАЬIf you come across anything really funny read it to me,тАЭ said Colonel Blount.
Then they had luncheon.
They were nearly an hour over luncheon. Course followed course in disconcerting abundance while Colonel Blount ate and ate, turning the leaves of his book and chuckling frequently. They ate hare soup and boiled turbot and stewed sweetbreads and black Bredenham ham with Madeira sauce and roast pheasant and a rum omelette and toasted cheese and fruit. First they drank sherry, then claret, then port. Then Colonel Blount shut his book with a broad sweep of his arm rather as the headmaster of AdamтАЩs private school used to shut the Bible after evening prayers, folded his napkin carefully and stuffed it into a massive silver ring, muttered some words of grace and finally stood up, saying:
тАЬWell, I donтАЩt know about you, but IтАЩm going to have a little nap,тАЭ and trotted out of the room.
тАЬThereтАЩs a fire in the library, sir,тАЭ said Mrs.┬аFlorin. тАЬIтАЩll bring you your coffee there. The Colonel doesnтАЩt have coffee, he finds it interferes with his afternoon sleep. What time would you like your afternoon tea, sir?тАЭ
тАЬI ought really to be getting back to London. How long will it be before the Colonel comes down, do you think?тАЭ
тАЬWell, it all depends, sir. Not usually till about five or half-past. Then he reads until dinner at seven and after dinner gets the Rector to drive him in to the pictures. A sedentary life, as you might say.тАЭ
She led Adam into the library and put a silver coffeepot at his elbow.
тАЬIтАЩll bring you tea at four,тАЭ she said.
Adam sat in front of the fire in a deep armchair. Outside the rain beat on the double windows. There were several magazines in the libraryтБатАФmostly cheap weeklies devoted to the cinema. There was a stuffed owl and a case of early British remains, bone pins and bits of pottery and a skull, which had been dug up in the park many years ago and catalogued by NinaтАЩs governess. There was a cabinet containing the relics of NinaтАЩs various collecting feversтБатАФsome butterflies and a beetle or two, some fossils and some birdsтАЩ eggs and a few postage stamps. There were some bookcases of superbly unreadable books, a gun, a butterfly net, an alpenstock in the corner. There were catalogues of agricultural machines and acetylene plants, lawn mowers, тАЬsports requisites.тАЭ There was a fire screen worked with a coat of arms. The chimneypiece was hung with the embroidered saddle-cloths of Colonel BlountтАЩs regiment of Lancers. There was an engraving of all the members of the Royal Yacht Squadron, with a little plan in the corner, marked to show who was who. There were many other things of equal interest besides, but before Adam had noticed any more he was fast asleep.
Mrs.┬аFlorin woke him at four. The coffee had disappeared and its place was taken by a silver tray with a lace cloth on it. There was a silver teapot, and a silver kettle with a little spirit-lamp underneath, and a silver cream jug and a covered silver dish full of muffins. There was also hot buttered toast and honey and gentlemanтАЩs relish and a chocolate cake, a cherry cake, a seed cake and a fruit cake and some tomato sandwiches and pepper and salt and currant bread and butter.
тАЬWould you care for a lightly boiled egg, sir? The Colonel generally has one if heтАЩs awake.тАЭ
тАЬNo, thank you,тАЭ said Adam. He felt a thousand times better for his rest. When Nina and he were married, he thought, they would often come down there for the day after a really serious party. For the first time he noticed an obese liver and white spaniel, which was waking up, too, on the hearthrug.
тАЬPlease not to give her muffins,тАЭ said Mrs.┬аFlorin, тАЬitтАЩs the one thing sheтАЩs not supposed to have, and the Colonel will give them to her. He loves that dog,тАЭ she added with a burst of confidence. тАЬTakes her to the pictures with him of an evening. Not that she can appreciate them really like a human can.тАЭ
Adam gave herтБатАФthe spaniel, not Mrs.┬аFlorinтБатАФa gentle prod with his foot and a lump of sugar. She licked his shoe with evident cordiality. Adam was not above feeling flattered by friendliness in dogs.
He had finished his tea and was filling his pipe when Colonel Blount came into the library.
тАЬWho the devil are you?тАЭ said his host.
тАЬAdam Symes,тАЭ said Adam.
тАЬNever heard of you. How did you get in? Who gave you tea? What do you want?тАЭ
тАЬYou asked me to luncheon,тАЭ said Adam. тАЬI came about being married to Nina.тАЭ
тАЬMy dear boy, of course. How absurd of me. IтАЩve such a bad memory for names. It comes of seeing so few people. How are you?тАЭ
They shook hands again.
тАЬSo youтАЩre the young man whoтАЩs engaged to Nina,тАЭ said the Colonel, eyeing him for the first time in the way prospective sons-in-laws are supposed to be eyed. тАЬNow what in the world do you want to get married for? I shouldnтАЩt, you know, really I shouldnтАЩt. Are you rich?тАЭ
тАЬNo, not at present, IтАЩm afraid, thatтАЩs rather what I wanted to talk about.тАЭ
тАЬHow much money have you got?тАЭ
тАЬWell, sir, actually at the moment I havenтАЩt got any at all.тАЭ
тАЬWhen did you last have any?тАЭ
тАЬI had a thousand pounds last night, but I gave it all to a drunk Major.тАЭ
тАЬWhy did you do that?тАЭ
тАЬWell, I hoped heтАЩd put it on Indian Runner for the November Handicap.тАЭ
тАЬNever heard of the horse. DidnтАЩt he?тАЭ
тАЬI donтАЩt think he can have.тАЭ
тАЬWhen will you next have some money?тАЭ
тАЬWhen IтАЩve written some books.тАЭ
тАЬHow many books?тАЭ
тАЬTwelve.тАЭ
тАЬHow much will you have then?тАЭ
тАЬProbably fifty pounds advance on my thirteenth book.тАЭ
тАЬAnd how long will it take you to write twelve books?тАЭ
тАЬAbout a year.тАЭ
тАЬHow long would it take most people?тАЭ
тАЬAbout twenty years. Of course, put like that I do see that it sounds rather hopelessтБатАКтБатАж but, you see, Nina and I hoped that you, that is, that perhaps for the next year until I get my twelve books written, that you might help usтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ
тАЬHow could I help you? IтАЩve never written a book in my life.тАЭ
тАЬNo, we thought you might give us some money.тАЭ
тАЬYou thought that, did you?тАЭ
тАЬYes, thatтАЩs what we thoughtтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ
Colonel Blount looked at him gravely for some time. Then he said, тАЬI think that an admirable idea. I donтАЩt see any reason at all why I shouldnтАЩt. How much do you want?тАЭ
тАЬThatтАЩs really terribly good of you, sirтБатАКтБатАж Well, you know, just enough to live on quietly for a bit. I hardly knowтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ
тАЬWell, would a thousand pounds be any help?тАЭ
тАЬYes, it would indeed. We shall both be terribly grateful.тАЭ
тАЬNot at all, my dear boy. Not at all. What did you say your name was?тАЭ
тАЬAdam Symes.тАЭ
Colonel Blount went to the table and wrote out a cheque. тАЬThere you are,тАЭ he said. тАЬNow donтАЩt go giving that away to another drunk major.тАЭ
тАЬReally, sir! I donтАЩt know how to thank you. NinaтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ
тАЬNot another word. Now I expect that you will want to be off to London again. WeтАЩll send Mrs.┬аFlorin across to the Rectory and make the Rector drive you to the station. Useful having a neighbour with a motor car. They charge fivepence on the buses from here to Aylesbury. Robbers.тАЭ
It does not befall many young men to be given a thousand pounds by a complete stranger twice on successive evenings. Adam laughed aloud in the RectorтАЩs car as they drove to the station. The Rector, who had been in the middle of writing a sermon and resented with daily increasing feeling Colonel BlountтАЩs neighbourly appropriation of his car and himself, kept his eyes fixed on the streaming windscreen, pretending not to notice. Adam laughed all the way to Aylesbury, sitting and holding his knees and shaking all over. The Rector could hardly bring himself to say good night when they parted in the station yard.
There was half an hour to wait for a train and the leaking roof and wet railway lines had a sobering effect on Adam. He bought an evening paper. On the front page was an exquisitely funny photograph of Miss Runcible in Hawaiian costume tumbling down the steps of No.┬а10 Downing Street. The Government had fallen that afternoon, he read, being defeated on a motion rising from the answer to a question about the treatment of Miss Runcible by Customs House officers. It was generally held in Parliamentary circles that the deciding factor in this reverse had been the revolt of the Liberals and the Nonconformist members at the revelations of the life that was led at No.┬а10, Downing Street, during Sir James BrownтАЩs tenancy. The Evening Mail had a leading article, which drew a fine analogy between Public and Domestic Purity, between sobriety in the family and in the State.
There was another small paragraph which interested Adam.
The death occurred early this morning at a private hotel in Dover Street of Miss Florence Ducane, described as being of independent means, following an accident in which Miss Ducane fell from a chandelier which she was attempting to mend. The inquest will be held tomorrow, which will be followed by the cremation at Golders Green. Miss Ducane, who was formerly connected with the stage, was well known in business circles.
Which only showed, thought Adam, how much better Lottie Crump knew the business of avoiding undesirable publicity than Sir James Brown.
When Adam reached London the rain had stopped, but there was a thin fog drifting in belts before a damp wind. The station was crowded with office workers hurrying with attach├й cases and evening papers to catch their evening trains home, coughing and sneezing as they went. They still wore their poppies. Adam went to a telephone-box and rang up Nina. She had left a message for him that she was having cocktails at Margot MetrolandтАЩs house. He drove to ShepheardтАЩs.
тАЬLottie,тАЭ he said, тАЬIтАЩve got a thousand pounds.тАЭ
тАЬHave you, now,тАЭ said Lottie indifferently. She lived on the assumption that everyone she knew always had several thousand pounds. It was to her as though he had said, тАЬLottie, I have a tall hat.тАЭ
тАЬCan you lend me some money till tomorrow till I cash the cheque?тАЭ
тАЬWhat a boy you are for borrowing. Just like your poor father. Here, you in the corner, lend Mr.┬аWhat-dтАЩyou-call-him some money.тАЭ
A tall Guardsman shook his retreating forehead and twirled his moustaches.
тАЬNo good coming to me, Lottie,тАЭ he said in a voice trained to command.
тАЬMean hound,тАЭ said Lottie. тАЬWhereтАЩs that American?тАЭ
Judge Skimp, who, since his experiences that morning, had become profoundly Anglophile, produced two tenpound notes. тАЬI shall be only too proud and honouredтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ he said.
тАЬGood old Judge Thingummy,тАЭ said Lottie. тАЬThatтАЩs the way.тАЭ
Adam hurried out into the hall as another bottle of champagne popped festively in the parlour.
тАЬDoge, ring up the Daimler Hire Company and order a car in my name. Tell it to go round to Lady MetrolandтАЩsтБатАФPastmaster House, Hill Street,тАЭ he said. Then he put on his hat and walked down Hay Hill, swinging an umbrella and laughing again, only more quietly, to himself.
At Lady MetrolandтАЩs he kept on his coat and waited in the hall.
тАЬWill you please tell Miss Blount IтАЩve called for her? No, I wonтАЩt go up.тАЭ
He looked at the hats on the table. Clearly there was quite a party. Two or three silk hats of people who had dressed early, the rest soft and black like his own. Then he began to dance again, jigging to himself in simple high spirits.
In a minute Nina came down the broad Adam staircase.
тАЬDarling, why didnтАЩt you come up? ItтАЩs so rude. Margot is longing to see you.тАЭ
тАЬIтАЩm so sorry, Nina. I couldnтАЩt face a party. IтАЩm so excited.тАЭ
тАЬWhy, whatтАЩs happened?тАЭ
тАЬEverything. IтАЩll tell you in the car.тАЭ
тАЬCar?тАЭ
тАЬYes, itтАЩll be here in a minute. WeтАЩre going down to the country for dinner. I canтАЩt tell you how clever IтАЩve been.тАЭ
тАЬBut what have you done, darling? Do stop dancing about.тАЭ
тАЬCanтАЩt stop. YouтАЩve no idea how clever I am.тАЭ
тАЬAdam. Are you tight again?тАЭ
тАЬLook out of the window and see if you can see a Daimler waiting.тАЭ
тАЬAdam, what have you been doing? I will be told.тАЭ
тАЬLook,тАЭ said Adam, producing the cheque. тАЬWhatcher think of that?тАЭ he added in Cockney.
тАЬMy dear, a thousand pounds. Did papa give you that?тАЭ
тАЬI earned it,тАЭ said Adam. тАЬOh, I earned it. You should have seen the luncheon I ate and the jokes I read. IтАЩm going to be married tomorrow. Oh, Nina, would Margot hate it if I sang in her hall?тАЭ
тАЬSheтАЩd simply loathe it, darling, and so should I. IтАЩm going to take care of that cheque. You remember what happened the last time you were given a thousand pounds.тАЭ
тАЬThatтАЩs what your papa said.тАЭ
тАЬDid you tell him that?тАЭ
тАЬI told him everythingтБатАФand he gave me a thousand pounds.тАЭ
тАЬтАж┬аPoor AdamтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ said Nina suddenly.
тАЬWhy did you say that?тАЭ
тАЬI donтАЩt know.тБатАКтБатАж I believe this is your car.тБатАКтБатАжтАЭ
тАЬNina, why did you say тАШPoor AdamтАЩ?тАЭ
тАЬтАж┬аDid I?тБатАКтБатАж Oh, I donтАЩt know.тБатАКтБатАж Oh, I do adore you so.тАЭ
тАЬIтАЩm going to be married tomorrow. Are you?тАЭ
тАЬYes, I expect so, dear.тАЭ
The chauffeur got rather bored while they tried to decide where they would dine. At every place he suggested they gave a little wail of dismay. тАЬBut thatтАЩs sure to be full of awful people we know,тАЭ they said. Maidenhead, Thame, Brighton, he suggested. Finally they decided to go to Arundel.
тАЬItтАЩll be nearly nine before we get there,тАЭ the chauffeur said. тАЬNow thereтАЩs a very nice hotel at Bray.тБатАКтБатАжтАЭ
But they went to Arundel.
тАЬWeтАЩll be married tomorrow,тАЭ said Adam in the car. тАЬAnd we wonтАЩt ask anybody to the wedding at all. And weтАЩll go abroad at once, and just not come back till IтАЩve written all those books. Nina, isnтАЩt it divine? Where shall we go?тАЭ
тАЬAnywhere you like, only rather warm, donтАЩt you think?тАЭ
тАЬI donтАЩt believe you really think we are going to be married, Nina, do you, or do you?тАЭ
тАЬI donтАЩt knowтБатАКтБатАж itтАЩs only that I donтАЩt believe that really divine things like that ever do happen.тБатАКтБатАж I donтАЩt know why.тБатАКтБатАж Oh, I do like you so much tonight. If only you knew how sweet you looked skipping about in MargotтАЩs hall all by yourself. IтАЩd been watching you for hours before I came down.тАЭ
тАЬI shall send the car back,тАЭ said Adam, as they drove through Pulborough. тАЬWe can go home by train.тАЭ
тАЬIf there is a train.тАЭ
тАЬThereтАЩs bound to be,тАЭ said Adam. But this raised a question in both their minds that had been unobtrusively agitating them throughout the journey. Neither said any more on the subject, but there was a distinct air of constraint in the Daimler from Pulborough onwards.
This question was settled when they reached the hotel at Arundel.
тАЬWe want dinner,тАЭ said Adam, тАЬand a room for the night.тАЭ
тАЬDarling, am I going to be seduced?тАЭ
тАЬIтАЩm afraid you are. Do you mind terribly?тАЭ
тАЬNot as much as all that,тАЭ said Nina, and added in Cockney, тАЬCharmed, IтАЩm sure.тАЭ
Everyone had finished dinner. They dined alone in a corner of the coffee-room, while the other waiters laid the tables for breakfast, looking at them resentfully. It was the dreariest kind of English dinner. After dinner the lounge was awful; there were some golfers in dinner-jackets playing bridge, and two old ladies. Adam and Nina went across the stable-yard to the taproom and sat until closing time in a warm haze of tobacco smoke listening to the intermittent gossip of the townspeople. They sat hand-in-hand, unembarrassed; after the first minute no one noticed them. Just before closing time Adam stood a round of drinks. They said:
тАЬGood health, sir. Best respects, madam,тАЭ and the barman said, тАЬCome along, please. Finish your drinks, please,тАЭ in a peculiar singsong tone.
There was a clock chiming as they crossed the yard and a slightly drunk farmer trying to start up his car. Then they went up an oak staircase lined with blunderbusses and coaching prints to their room.
They had no luggage (the chambermaid remarked on this next day to the young man who worked at the wireless shop, saying that that was the worst of being in a main road hotel. You got all sorts).
Adam undressed very quickly and got into bed; Nina more slowly arranging her clothes on the chair and fingering the ornaments on the chimneypiece with less than her usual self-possession. At last she put out the light.
тАЬDo you know,тАЭ she said, trembling slightly as she got into bed, тАЬthis is the first time this has happened to me?тАЭ
тАЬItтАЩs great fun,тАЭ said Adam, тАЬI promise you.тАЭ
тАЬIтАЩm sure it is,тАЭ said Nina seriously, тАЬI wasnтАЩt saying anything against it. I was only saying that it hadnтАЩt happened before.тБатАКтБатАж Oh, Adam.тБатАКтБатАжтАЭ
тАЬAnd you said that really divine things didnтАЩt happen,тАЭ said Adam in the middle of the night.
тАЬI donтАЩt think that this is at all divine,тАЭ said Nina. тАЬItтАЩs given me a pain. AndтБатАФmy dear, that reminds me. IтАЩve something terribly important to say to you in the morning.тАЭ
тАЬWhat?тАЭ
тАЬNot now, darling. LetтАЩs go to sleep for a little, donтАЩt you think?тАЭ
Before Nina was properly awake Adam dressed and went out into the rain to get a shave. He came back bringing two toothbrushes and a bright red celluloid comb. Nina sat up in bed and combed her hair. She put AdamтАЩs coat over her back.
тАЬMy dear, you look exactly like La Vie Parisienne,тАЭ said Adam, turning round from brushing his teeth.
Then she threw off the coat and jumped out of bed, and he told her that she looked like a fashion drawing without the clothes. Nina was rather pleased about that, but she said that it was cold and that she still had a pain, only not so bad as it was. Then she dressed and they went downstairs.
Everyone else had had breakfast and the waiters were laying the tables for luncheon.
тАЬBy the way,тАЭ said Adam. тАЬYou said there was something you wanted to say.тАЭ
тАЬOh, yes, so there is. My dear, something quite awful.тАЭ
тАЬDo tell me.тАЭ
тАЬWell, itтАЩs about that cheque papa gave you. IтАЩm afraid it wonтАЩt help us as much as you thought.тАЭ
тАЬBut, darling, itтАЩs a thousand pounds, isnтАЩt it?тАЭ
тАЬJust look at it, my sweet.тАЭ She took it out of her bag and handed it across the table.
тАЬI donтАЩt see anything wrong with it,тАЭ said Adam.
тАЬNot the signature?тАЭ
тАЬWhy, good lord, the old idiotтАЩs signed it тАШCharlie Chaplin.тАЩтАКтАЭ
тАЬThatтАЩs what I mean, darling.тАЭ
тАЬBut canтАЩt we get him to alter it? He must be dotty. IтАЩll go down and see him again today.тАЭ
тАЬI shouldnтАЩt do that, dearтБатАКтБатАж donтАЩt you see.тБатАКтБатАж Of course, heтАЩs very old, andтБатАКтБатАж I dare say you may have made things sound a little oddтБатАКтБатАж donтАЩt you think, dear, he must have thought you a little dotty?тБатАКтБатАж I meanтБатАКтБатАж perhapsтБатАКтБатАж that cheque was a kind of joke.тАЭ
тАЬWell IтАЩm damnedтБатАКтБатАж this really is a bore. When everything seemed to be going so well, too. When did you notice the signature, Nina?тАЭ
тАЬAs soon as you showed it to me, at MargotтАЩs. Only you looked so happy I didnтАЩt like to say anything.тБатАКтБатАж You did look happy, you know, Adam, and so sweet. I think I really fell in love with you for the first time when I saw you dancing all alone in the hall.тАЭ
тАЬWell IтАЩm damned,тАЭ said Adam again. тАЬThe old devil.тАЭ
тАЬAnyway, youтАЩve had some fun out of it, havenтАЩt youтБатАКтБатАж or havenтАЩt you?тАЭ
тАЬHavenтАЩt you?тАЭ
тАЬMy dear, I never hated anything so much in my lifeтБатАКтБатАж still, as long as you enjoyed it thatтАЩs something.тАЭ
тАЬI say, Nina,тАЭ said Adam after some time, тАЬwe shanтАЩt be able to get married after all.тАЭ
тАЬNo, IтАЩm afraid not.тАЭ
тАЬIt is a bore, isnтАЩt it?тАЭ
Later he said, тАЬI expect that parson thought I was dotty too.тАЭ
And later, тАЬAs a matter of fact, itтАЩs rather a good joke, donтАЩt you think?тАЭ
тАЬI think itтАЩs divine.тАЭ
In the train Nina said: тАЬItтАЩs awful to think that I shall probably never, as long as I live, see you dancing like that again all by yourself.тАЭ