X + 

Adam and Miss Runcible and Miles and Archie Schwert went up to the motor races in Archie SchwertтАЩs car. It was a long and cold drive. Miss Runcible wore trousers and Miles touched up his eyelashes in the dining-room of the hotel where they stopped for luncheon. So they were asked to leave. At the next hotel they made Miss Runcible stay outside, and brought her cold lamb and pickles in the car. Archie thought it would be nice to have champagne, and worried the wine waiter about dates (a subject which had always been repugnant to him). They spent a long time over luncheon because it was warm there, and they drank K├╝mmel over the fire until Miss Runcible came in very angrily to fetch them out. + 

Then Archie said he was too sleepy to drive any more, so Adam changed places with him and lost the way, and they travelled miles in the wrong direction down a limitless bypass road. + 

And then it began to be dark and the rain got worse. They stopped for dinner at another hotel, where everyone giggled at Miss RuncibleтАЩs trousers in a dining-room hung with copper warming pans. + 

Presently they came to the town where the race was to be run. They drove to the hotel where the dirt-track racer was staying. It was built in the Gothic style of 1860, large, dark and called the Imperial. + 

They had wired him to book them rooms, but тАЬBless you,тАЭ said the woman at the counter marked тАЬReception,тАЭ тАЬall our rooms have been booked for the last six months. I couldnтАЩt fit you in anywhere, not if you was the Speed Kings themselves, I couldnтАЩt. I donтАЩt suppose youтАЩll find anything in the town tonight. You might try at the Station Hotel. ThatтАЩs your only chance.тАЭ + 

At the Station Hotel they made Miss Runcible wait outside, but with no better success. + 

тАЬI might put one of you on the sofa in the bar parlour, thereтАЩs only a married couple in there at present and two little boys, or if you didnтАЩt mind sitting up all night, thereтАЩs always the palm lounge.тАЭ As for a bed, that was out of the question. They might try at the Royal George, but she doubted very much whether theyтАЩd like that even if there was room, which she was pretty sure there was not. + 

Then Miss Runcible thought that she remembered that there were some friends of her father who lived quite near, so she found out their telephone number and rang them up, but they said no, they were sorry, but they had a completely full house and practically no servants, and that as far as they knew they had never heard of Lord Chasm. So that was no good. + 

Then they went to several more hotels, sinking through the various graduations of Old Established Family and Commercial, plain Commercial, High Class Board Residence pension terms, Working GirlsтАЩ Hostel, plain Pub. and Clean Beds: Gentlemen Only. All were full. At last, by the edge of a canal, they came to the Royal George. The landlady stood at the door and rounded off an argument with an elderly little man in a bowler hat. + 

тАЬFirst тАЩe takes off тАЩis boots in the saloon bar,тАЭ she said, enlisting the sympathy of her new audience, тАЬwhich is not the action of a gentleman.тАЭ + 

тАЬThey was wet,тАЭ said the little man, тАЬwet as тАЩell.тАЭ + 

тАЬWell, and who wants your wet boots on the counter, I should like to know. Then, if you please, he calls me a conspiring woman because I tells him to stop and put them on before he goes тАЩome.тАЭ + 

тАЬWant to go тАЩome,тАЭ said the little man. тАЬтАКтАЩOme to my wife and kids. Trying to keep a man from тАЩis wife.тАЭ + 

тАЬNo one wants to keep you from your wife, you old silly. All I says is for GawdтАЩs sake put on your boots before you go тАЩome. WhatтАЩll your wife think of you coming тАЩome without boots.тАЭ + 

тАЬShe wonтАЩt mind тАЩow I come тАЩome. Why, bless you, I ainтАЩt been тАЩome at all for five years. ItтАЩs тАЩard to be separated from a wife and kids by a conspiring woman trying to make yer put on yer boots.тАЭ + 

тАЬMy dear, sheтАЩs quite right, you know,тАЭ said Miss Runcible. тАЬYouтАЩd far better put on your boots.тАЭ + 

тАЬThere, тАЩear what the lady says. Lady says youтАЩve to put on your boots.тАЭ + 

The little man took his boots from the landlady, looked at Miss Runcible with a searching glance, and threw them into the canal. тАЬLady,тАЭ he said with feeling. тАЬTrousers,тАЭ and then he paddled off in his socks into the darkness. + 

тАЬThere ainтАЩt no тАЩarm in тАЩim really,тАЭ said the landlady, тАЬonly he do get a bit wild when heтАЩs тАЩad the drink. Wasting good boots like that.тБатАКтБатАж I expect heтАЩll spend the night in the lockup.тАЭ + 

тАЬWonтАЩt he get back to his wife, poor sweet?тАЭ + 

тАЬLorтАЩ bless you, no. She lives in London.тАЭ + 

At this stage Archie Schwert, whose humanitarian interests were narrower than Miss RuncibleтАЩs, lost interest in the discussion. + 

тАЬThe thing we want to know is, can you let us have beds for the night?тАЭ + 

The landlady looked at him suspiciously. + 

тАЬBed or beds?тАЭ + 

тАЬBeds.тАЭ + 

тАЬMight do.тАЭ She looked from the car to Miss RuncibleтАЩs trousers and back to the car again, weighing them against each other. тАЬCost you a quid each,тАЭ she said at last. + 

тАЬCan you find room for us all?тАЭ + 

тАЬWell,тАЭ she said, тАЬwhich of youтАЩs with the young lady?тАЭ + 

тАЬIтАЩm afraid IтАЩm all alone,тАЭ said Miss Runcible. тАЬIsnтАЩt it too shaming?тАЭ + 

тАЬNever you mind, dearie, luckтАЩll turn one day. Well, now, how can we all fit in? ThereтАЩs one room empty. I can sleep with our Sarah, and that leaves a bed for the gentlemenтБатАФthen if the young lady wouldnтАЩt mind coming in with me and SarahтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

тАЬIf you donтАЩt think it rude, I think IтАЩd sooner have the empty bed,тАЭ said Miss Runcible, rather faintly. тАЬYou see,тАЭ she added, with tact, тАЬI snore so terribly.тАЭ + 

тАЬBless you, so does our Sarah. We donтАЩt mindтБатАКтБатАж still, if youтАЩd ratherтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

тАЬReally, I think I should,тАЭ said Miss Runcible. + 

тАЬWell then, I could put Mr.┬аTitchcock on the floor, couldnтАЩt I?тАЭ + 

тАЬYes,тАЭ said Miles, тАЬjust you put Mr.┬аTitchcock on the floor.тАЭ + 

тАЬAnd if the other gentleman donтАЩt mind going on the landing.тБатАКтБатАж Well, weтАЩll manage somehow, see if we donтАЩt.тАЭ + 

So they all drank some gin together in the back parlour and they woke Mr.┬аTitchcock up and made him help with the luggage and they gave him some gin, too, and he said it was all the same to him whether he slept on the floor or in bed, and he was very pleased to be of any service to anyone and didnтАЩt mind if he did have another drop just as a nightcap, as they might say; and at last they all went to bed, very tired, but fairly contented, and oh, how they were bitten by bugs all that night. + 

Adam had secured one of the bedrooms. He awoke early to find rain beating on the window. He looked out and saw a grey sky, some kind of factory and the canal from whose shallow waters rose little islands of scrap-iron and bottles; a derelict perambulator lay partially submerged under the opposite bank. In his room stood a chest of drawers full of horrible fragments of stuff, a washhand stand with a highly coloured basin, an empty jug and an old toothbrush. There was also a rotund female bust covered in shiny red material, and chopped off short, as in primitive martyrdoms, at neck, waist and elbows; a thing known as a dressmakerтАЩs тАЬdummyтАЭ (there had been one of these in AdamтАЩs home which they used to call тАЬJemimaтАЭтБатАФone day he stabbed тАЬJemimaтАЭ with a chisel and scattered stuffing over the nursery floor and was punished. A more enlightened age would have seen a complex in this action and worried accordingly. Anyway he was made to sweep up all the stuffing himself). + 

Adam was very thirsty, but there was a light green moss in the bottom of the water bottle that repelled him. He got into bed again and found someoneтАЩs handkerchief (presumably Mr.┬аTitchcockтАЩs) under the pillow. + 

He woke again a little later to find Miss Runcible dressed in pyjamas and a fur coat sitting on his bed. + 

тАЬDarling,тАЭ she said, тАЬthereтАЩs no looking-glass in my room and no bath anywhere, and I trod on someone cold and soft asleep in the passage, and IтАЩve been awake all night killing bugs with drops of face lotion, and everything smells, and I feel so low I could die.тАЭ + 

тАЬFor heavenтАЩs sake letтАЩs go away,тАЭ said Adam. + 

So they woke Miles and Archie Schwert, and ten minutes later they all stole out of the Royal George carrying their suitcases. + 

тАЬI wonder, do you think we ought to leave some money?тАЭ asked Adam, but the others all said no. + 

тАЬWell, perhaps we ought to pay for the gin,тАЭ said Miss Runcible. + 

So they left five shillings on the bar and drove away to the Imperial. + 

It was still very early, but everyone seemed to be awake, running in and out of the lifts carrying crash-helmets and overalls. MilesтАЩ friend, they were told, had been out before dawn, presumably at his garage. Adam met some reporters whom he used to see about the Excess office. They told him that it was anyoneтАЩs race, and that the place to see the fun was Headlong Corner, where there had been three deaths the year before, and it was worse this year, because theyтАЩd been putting down wet tar. It was nothing more or less than a death trap, the reporters said. Then they went away to interview some more drivers. All teams were confident of victory, they said. + 

Meanwhile Miss Runcible discovered an empty bathroom and came down half-an-hour later all painted up and wearing a skirt and feeling quite herself again and ready for anything. So they went in to breakfast. + 

The dining-room was very full indeed. There were Speed Kings of all nationalities, unimposing men mostly with small moustaches and apprehensive eyes; they were reading the forecasts in the morning papers and eating what might (and in some cases did) prove to be their last meal on earth. There were a great number of journalists making the best of an тАЬout-of-townтАЭ job; there were a troop of nondescript тАЬfans,тАЭ knowledgeable young men with bright jumpers tucked inside their belted trousers, old public-school ties, check tweeds, loose mouths and scarcely discernible Cockney accents; there were R.A.C. officials and A.A. officials, and the representatives of oil firms and tyre manufacturers. There was one disconsolate family who had come to the town for the christening of a niece. (No one had warned them that there was a motor race on; their hotel bill was a shock.) + 

тАЬVery better-making,тАЭ said Miss Runcible with approval as she ate her haddock. + 

Scraps of highly technical conversation rose on all sides of them. + 

тАЬтАж┬аChanged the whole engine over after theyтАЩd been scrutineered. Anyone else would have been disqualifiedтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

тАЬтАж┬аjust cruising round at fiftyтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

тАЬтАж┬аstung by a bee just as he was taking the corner, missed the tree by inches and landed up in the Town Hall. There was a Riley coming up behind, spun round twice, climbed the bank, turned right over and caught fireтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

тАЬтАж┬аlocal overheating at the valve-heads. ItтАЩs no sense putting a supercharger in that engine at allтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

тАЬHeadlong CornerтАЩs jam. All you want to do is to brake right down to forty or forty-five at the white cottage, then rev. up opposite the pub and get straight away in second on the near side of the road. A child could do it. ItтАЩs the double bend just after the railway bridge where youтАЩll get the funny stuff.тАЭ + 

тАЬтАж┬аkept flagging him down from the pits. I tell you that bunch donтАЩt want him to win.тАЭ + 

тАЬтАж┬аShe wouldnтАЩt tell me her name, but she said sheтАЩd meet me at the same place tonight and gave me a sprig of white heather for the car. I lost it, like a fool. She said sheтАЩd look out for it tooтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

тАЬтАж┬аOnly offers a twenty pound bonus this yearтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

тАЬтАж┬аlapped at seventy-fiveтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

тАЬтАж┬аBurst his gasket and blew out his cylinder headsтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

тАЬтАж┬аBroke both arms and cracked his skull in two placesтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

тАЬтАж┬аTailwagтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

тАЬтАж┬аSpeed-wobbleтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

тАЬтАж┬аMercтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

тАЬтАж┬аMagтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

тАЬтАж┬аcrashтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

When they finished breakfast Miss Runcible and Adam and Archie Schwert and Miles went to the garage to look for their Speed King. They found him hard at work listening to his engine. A corner of the garage had been roped off and the floor strewn with sand as though for a boxing match. + 

Outside this ring clustered a group of predatory little boys with autograph albums and leaking fountain-pens, and inside, surrounded by attendants, stood the essential parts of a motor car. The engine was running and the whole machine shook with fruitless exertion. Clouds of dark smoke came from it, and a shattering roar which reverberated from concrete floor and corrugated iron roof into every corner of the building so that speech and thought became insupportable and all the senses were numbed. At frequent intervals this high and heartbreaking note was varied by sharp detonations, and it was these apparently which were causing anxiety, for at each report MilesтАЩ friend, who clearly could not have been unduly sensitive to noise, gave a little wince and looked significantly at his head mechanic. + 

Apart from the obvious imperfection of its sound, the car gave the impression to an uninstructed observer of being singularly unfinished. In fact, it was obviously still under construction. It had only three wheels; the fourth being in the hands of a young man in overalls, who, in the intervals of tossing back from his eyes a curtain of yellow hair, was beating it with a hammer. It also had no seats, and another mechanic was screwing down slabs of lead ballast in the place where one would have expected to find them. It had no bonnet; that was in the hands of a sign painter, who was drawing a black number 13 in a white circle. There was a similar number on the back, and a mechanic was engaged in fixing another number board over one of the headlights. There was a mechanic, too, making a windscreen of wire gauze, and a mechanic lying flat doing something to the back axle with a tin of grate polish and a rag. Two more mechanics were helping MilesтАЩ friend to listen to the bangs. тАЬAs if we couldnтАЩt have heard them from Berkeley Square,тАЭ said Miss Runcible. + 

The truth is that motor cars offer a very happy illustration of the metaphysical distinction between тАЬbeingтАЭ and тАЬbecoming.тАЭ Some cars, mere vehicles with no purpose above bare locomotion, mechanical drudges such as Lady MetrolandтАЩs Hispano Suiza, or Mrs.┬аMouseтАЩs Rolls Royce, or Lady CircumferenceтАЩs 1912 Daimler, or the тАЬgeneral readerтАЩsтАЭ Austin Seven, these have definite тАЬbeingтАЭ just as much as their occupants. They are bought all screwed up and numbered and painted, and there they stay through various declensions of ownership, brightened now and then with a lick of paint or temporarily rejuvenated by the addition of some minor organ, but still maintaining their essential identity to the scrap heap. + 

Not so the real cars, that become masters of men; those vital creations of metal who exist solely for their own propulsion through space, for whom their drivers, clinging precariously at the steering wheel, are as important as his stenographer to a stockbroker. These are in perpetual flux; a vortex of combining and disintegrating units; like the confluence of traffic at some spot where many roads meet, streams of mechanism come together, mingle and separate again. + 

MilesтАЩ friend, even had it been possible in the uproar, seemed indisposed to talk. He waved abstractedly and went on with his listening. Presently he came across and shouted: + 

тАЬSorry I canтАЩt spare a moment, IтАЩll see you in the pits. IтАЩve got you some brassards.тАЭ + 

тАЬMy dear, what can that be?тАЭ + 

He handed them each a strip of white linen, terminating in tape. + 

тАЬFor your arms,тАЭ he shouted. тАЬYou canтАЩt get into the pits without them.тАЭ + 

тАЬMy dear, what bliss! Fancy their having pits.тАЭ + 

Then they tied on their brassards. Miss RuncibleтАЩs said тАЬSpare DriverтАЭ; AdamтАЩs, тАЬDepot StaffтАЭ; MilesтАЩ тАЬSpare MechanicтАЭ and ArchieтАЩs, тАЬOwnerтАЩs Representative.тАЭ + 

Up till now the little boys round the rope had been sceptical of the importance of Miss Runcible and her friends, but as soon as they saw these badges of rank they pressed forward with their autograph books. Archie signed them all with the utmost complaisance, and even drew a slightly unsuitable picture in one of them. Then they drove away in ArchieтАЩs car. + 

The race was not due to start until noon, but any indecision which they may have felt about the employment of the next few hours was settled for them by the local police, who were engaged in directing all traffic, irrespective of its particular inclinations, on the road to the course. No pains had been spared about this point of organization; several days before, the Chief Constable had issued a little route map which was to be memorized by all constables on point duty, and so well had they learned their lesson that from early that morning until late in the afternoon no vehicle approaching the town from any direction escaped being drawn into that broad circuit marked by the arrows and dotted line A-B which led to the temporary car park behind the Grand Stand. (Many doctors, thus diverted, spent an enjoyable day without apparent prejudice to their patients.) + 

The advance of the spectators had already assumed the form of a slow and unbroken stream. Some came on foot from the railway station, carrying sandwiches and camp stools; some on tandem bicycles; some in тАЬrunaboutsтАЭ or motor cycle sidecar combinations, but most were in modestly priced motor cars. Their clothes and demeanour proclaimed them as belonging to the middle rank; a few brought portable wireless sets with them and other evidence of gaiety, but the general air of the procession was one of sobriety and purpose. This was no Derby day holiday-making; they had not snatched a day from the office to squander it among gipsies and roundabouts and thimble-and-pea men. They were there for the race. As they crawled along in bottom gear in a fog of exhaust gas, they discussed the technicalities of motor car design and the possibilities of bloodshed, and studied their maps of the course to pick out the most dangerous corners. + 

The detour planned by the Chief Constable was a long one, lined with bungalows and converted railway carriages. Banners floated over it between the telegraph posts, mostly advertising the Morning Despatch, which was organizing the race and paying for the victorтАЩs trophyтБатАФa silver gilt figure of odious design, symbolizing Fame embracing Speed. (This at the moment was under careful guard in the stewardsтАЩ room, for the year before it had been stolen on the eve of the race by the official timekeeper, who pawned it for a ridiculously small sum in Manchester, and was subsequently deprived of his position and sent to gaol.) Other advertisements proclaimed the superiorities of various sorts of petrol and sparking plugs, while some said тАЬ┬г100 for Loss of Limb. Insure Today.тАЭ There was also an elderly man walking among the motor cars with a blue and white banner inscribed, тАЬWithout Shedding of Blood is no Remission of Sin,тАЭ while a smartly dressed young man was doing a brisk trade in bogus tickets for the Grand Stand. + 

Adam sat in the back of the car with Miles, who was clearly put out about his friendтАЩs lack of cordiality. тАЬWhat I canтАЩt make out,тАЭ he said, тАЬis why we came to this beastly place at all. I suppose I ought to be thinking of something to write for the Excess. I know this is just going to be the most dreary day weтАЩve ever spent.тАЭ + 

Adam felt inclined to agree. Suddenly he became aware that someone was trying to attract his attention. + 

тАЬThereтАЩs an awful man shouting тАШHiтАЩ at you,тАЭ said Miles. тАЬMy dear, your friends.тАЭ + 

Adam turned and saw not three yards away, separated from him by a young woman riding a push-bicycle in khaki shorts, her companion, who bore a knapsack on his shoulders, and a small boy selling programmes, the long-sought figure of the drunk Major. He looked sober enough this morning, dressed in a bowler hat and Burberry, and he was waving frantically to Adam from the dicky of a coup├й car. + 

тАЬHi!тАЭ cried the drunk Major. тАЬHi! IтАЩve been looking for you everywhere.тАЭ + 

тАЬIтАЩve been looking for you,тАЭ shouted Adam. тАЬI want some money.тАЭ + 

тАЬCanтАЩt hearтБатАФwhat do you want?тАЭ + 

тАЬMoney.тАЭ + 

тАЬItтАЩs no goodтБатАФthese infernal things make too much noise. WhatтАЩs your name? Lottie had forgotten.тАЭ + 

тАЬAdam Symes.тАЭ + 

тАЬCanтАЩt hear.тАЭ + 

The line of traffic, creeping forward yard by yard, had at last reached the point B on the Chief ConstableтАЩs map, where the dotted lines diverged. A policeman stood at the crossing directing the cars right and left, some to the parking place behind the Grand Stand, others to the mound above the pits. Archie turned on to the left. The drunk MajorтАЩs car accelerated and swept away to the right. + 

тАЬI must know your name,тАЭ he cried. All the drivers seemed to choose this moment to sound their horns; the woman cyclist at AdamтАЩs elbow rang her bell; the male cyclist tooted a little horn like a Paris taxi, and the programme boy yelled in his ear, тАЬOfficial programmeтБатАФmap of the courseтБатАФall the drivers.тАЭ + 

тАЬAdam Symes,тАЭ he shouted desperately, but the Major threw up his hands in despair and he disappeared in the crowd. + 

тАЬThe way you pick people upтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ said Miles, startled into admiration. + 

тАЬThe pitsтАЭ turned out to be a line of booths, built of wood and corrugated iron immediately opposite the Grand Stand. Many of the cars had already arrived and stood at their тАЬpits,тАЭ surrounded by a knot of mechanics and spectators; they seemed to be already under repair. Busy officials hurried up and down, making entries in their lists. Over their heads a vast loud speaker was relaying the music of a military band. + 

The Grand Stand was still fairly empty, but the rest of the course was already lined with people. It stretched up and down hill for a circle of thirteen or fourteen miles, and those who were fortunate enough to own cottages or public houses at the more dangerous corners had covered their roofs with unstable wooden forms, and were selling tickets like very expensive hot cakes. A grass-covered hill rose up sharply behind the pits. On this had been erected a hoarding where a troop of Boy Scouts were preparing to score the laps, passing the time contentedly with ginger beer, toffee, and rough-and-tumble fights. Behind the hoarding was a barbed wire fence, and behind that again a crowd of spectators and several refreshment tents. A wooden bridge, advertising the Morning Despatch, had been built on the road. At various points officials might be seen attempting to understand each other over a field telephone. Sometimes the band would stop and a voice would announce, тАЬWill Mr.┬аSo-and-So kindly report at once to the timekeeperтАЩs officeтАЭ; then the band would go on. + 

Miss Runcible and her party found their way to the pit numbered 13 and sat on the matchboard counter smoking and signing autograph books. An official bore down on them. + 

тАЬNo smoking in the pits, please.тАЭ + 

тАЬMy dear, IтАЩm terribly sorry. I didnтАЩt know.тАЭ + 

There were six open churns behind Miss Runcible, four containing petrol and two water. She threw her cigarette over her shoulder, and by a beneficent attention of Providence which was quite rare in her career it fell into the water. Had it fallen into the petrol it would probably have been all up with Miss Runcible. + 

Presently No.┬а13 appeared. MilesтАЩ friend and his mechanic wearing overalls, crash-helmets, and goggles, jumped out, opened the bonnet and began to reconstruct it again. + 

тАЬThey didnтАЩt ought to have a No.┬а13 at all,тАЭ said the mechanic. тАЬIt isnтАЩt fair.тАЭ + 

Miss Runcible lit another cigarette. + 

тАЬNo smoking in the pits, please,тАЭ said the official. + 

тАЬMy dear, how awful of me. I quite forgot.тАЭ + 

(This time it fell in the mechanicтАЩs luncheon basket and lay smouldering quietly on a leg of chicken until it had burnt itself out.) + 

MilesтАЩ friend began filling up his petrol tank with the help of a very large funnel. + 

тАЬListen,тАЭ he said. тАЬYouтАЩre not allowed to hand me anything direct, but if Edwards holds up his left hand as we come past the pits, that means we shall be stopping next lap for petrol. So what youтАЩve got to do is to fill up a couple of cans and put them on the shelf with the funnel for Edwards to take. If Edwards holds up his right handтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ elaborate instructions followed. тАЬYouтАЩre in charge of the depot,тАЭ he said to Archie. тАЬDтАЩyou think youтАЩve got all the signals clear? The race may depend on them, remember.тАЭ + 

тАЬWhat does it mean if I wave the blue flag?тАЭ + 

тАЬThat you want me to stop.тАЭ + 

тАЬWhy should I want you to stop?тАЭ + 

тАЬWell, you might see something wrongтБатАФleaking tank or anything like that, or the officials might want the number plate cleaned.тАЭ + 

тАЬI think perhaps I wonтАЩt do anything much about the blue flag. It seems rather too bogus for me.тАЭ + 

Miss Runcible lit another cigarette. + 

тАЬWill you kindly leave the pits if you wish to smoke?тАЭ said the official. + 

тАЬWhat a damned rude man,тАЭ said Miss Runcible. тАЬLetтАЩs go up to that divine tent and get a drink.тАЭ + 

They climbed the hill past the Boy Scouts, found a gate in the wire fence, and eventually reached the refreshment tent. Here an atmosphere of greater geniality prevailed. A profusion of men in plus-fours were having тАЬquick onesтАЭ before the start. There was no nonsense about not smoking. There was a middle-aged woman sitting on the grass with a bottle of stout and a baby. + 

тАЬHome from home,тАЭ said Miss Runcible. + 

Suddenly the military band stopped and a voice said, тАЬFive minutes to twelve. All drivers and mechanics on the other side of the track, please.тАЭ + 

There was a hush all over the course, and the refreshment tent began to empty quickly. + 

тАЬDarling, we shall miss the start.тАЭ + 

тАЬStill, a drink would be nice.тАЭ + 

So they went into the tent. + 

тАЬFour whiskies, please,тАЭ said Archie Schwert. + 

тАЬYouтАЩll miss the start,тАЭ said the barmaid. + 

тАЬWhat a pig that man was,тАЭ said Miss Runcible. тАЬEven if we werenтАЩt supposed to smoke, he might at least have asked us politely.тАЭ + 

тАЬMy dear, it was only you.тАЭ + 

тАЬWell, I think that made it worse.тАЭ + 

тАЬLorтАЩ, Miss,тАЭ said the barmaid. тАЬYou surely ainтАЩt going to miss the start?тАЭ + 

тАЬItтАЩs the one thing I want to see more than anythingтБатАКтБатАж my dear, I believe theyтАЩre off already.тАЭ + 

The sudden roar of sixty high-power engines rose from below. тАЬThey have startedтБатАКтБатАж how too shaming.тАЭ They went to the door of the tent. Part of the road was visible over the heads of the spectators, and they caught a glimpse of the cars running all jammed together like pigs being driven through a gate; one by one they shook themselves free and disappeared round the bend with a high shriek of acceleration. + 

тАЬTheyтАЩll be round again in quarter of an hour,тАЭ said Archie. тАЬLetтАЩs have another drink.тАЭ + 

тАЬWho was ahead?тАЭ asked the barmaid anxiously. + 

тАЬI couldnтАЩt see for certain,тАЭ said Miss Runcible, тАЬbut IтАЩm fairly sure it was No.┬а13.тАЭ + 

тАЬMy!тАЭ + 

The refreshment tent soon began to fill up again. The general opinion seemed to be that it was going to be a close race between No.┬а13 and No.┬а28, a red Omega car, driven by Marino, the Italian тАЬace.тАЭ + 

тАЬDirtiest driver I ever seen,тАЭ said one man with relish. + 

тАЬWhy, over at Belfast тАЩe was just tipping тАЩem all into the ditches, just like winking.тАЭ + 

тАЬThereтАЩs one thing you can be sure of. They wonтАЩt both finish.тАЭ + 

тАЬItтАЩs sheer murder the way that Marino drivesтБатАФa fair treat to see тАЩim.тАЭ + 

тАЬHeтАЩs a one all rightтБатАФa real artist and no mistake about it.тАЭ + 

Adam and Miss Runcible and Archie and Miles went back to their pit. + 

тАЬAfter all,тАЭ said Miss Runcible, тАЬthe poor sweet may be wanting all sorts of things and signalling away like mad, and no one there to pay any attention to himтБатАФso discouraging.тАЭ + 

By this time the cars were fairly evenly spread out over the course. They flashed by intermittently with dazzling speed and a shriek; one or two drew into their pits and the drivers leapt out, trembling like leaves, to tinker with the works. One had already come to griefтБатАФa large German whose tyre had burstтБатАФpunctured, some said, by a hireling of MarinoтАЩs. It had left the road and shot up a tree like a cat chased by a dog. Two little American cars had failed to start; their team worked desperately at them amid derisive comments from the crowd. Suddenly two cars appeared coming down the straight, running abreast within two feet of each other. + 

тАЬItтАЩs No.┬а13,тАЭ cried Miss Runcible, really excited at last. тАЬAnd thereтАЩs that Italian devil just beside it. Come on, thirteen! Come on!тАЭ she cried, dancing in the pit and waving a flag she found at hand. тАЬCome on. Oh! Well done, thirteen.тАЭ + 

The cars were gone in a flash and succeeded by others. + 

тАЬAgatha, darling, you shouldnтАЩt have waved the blue flag.тАЭ + 

тАЬMy dear, how awful. Why not?тАЭ + 

тАЬWell, that means that heтАЩs to stop next lap.тАЭ + 

тАЬGood God. Did I wave a blue flag?тАЭ + 

тАЬMy dear, you know you did.тАЭ + 

тАЬHow shaming. What am I to say to him?тАЭ + 

тАЬLetтАЩs all go away before he comes back.тАЭ + 

тАЬDтАЩyou know, I think weтАЩd better. He might be furious, mightnтАЩt he? LetтАЩs go to the tent and have another drinkтБатАФdonтАЩt you think, or donтАЩt you?тАЭ + 

So No.┬а13 pit was again deserted. + 

тАЬWhat did I say?тАЭ said the mechanic. тАЬThe moment I heard weтАЩd drawn this blinkinтАЩ number I knew we was in for trouble.тАЭ + 

The first person they saw when they reached the refreshment tent was the drunk Major. + 

тАЬYour boy friend again,тАЭ said Miles. + 

тАЬWell, there you are,тАЭ said the Major. тАЬDтАЩyou know IтАЩve been chasing you all over London. What have you been doing with yourself all this time?тАЭ + 

тАЬIтАЩve been staying at LottieтАЩs.тАЭ + 

тАЬWell, she said sheтАЩd never heard of you. You see, I donтАЩt mind admitting IтАЩd had a few too many that night, and to tell you the truth I woke up with things all rather a blur. Well then I found a thousand pounds in my pocket, and it all came back to me. ThereтАЩd been a cove at LottieтАЩs who gave me a thousand pounds to put on Indian Runner. Well, as far as I knew, Indian Runner was no good. I didnтАЩt want to lose your money for you, but the devil of it was I didnтАЩt know you from Adam.тАЭ (тАЬI think thatтАЩs a perfect joke,тАЭ said Miss Runcible.) тАЬAnd apparently Lottie didnтАЩt either. YouтАЩd have thought it was easy enough to trace the sort of chap who deals out thousands of pounds to total strangers, but I couldnтАЩt find one fingerprint.тАЭ + 

тАЬDo you mean,тАЭ said Adam, a sudden delirious hope rising in his heart, тАЬthat youтАЩve still got my thousand?тАЭ + 

тАЬNot so fast,тАЭ said the Major. тАЬIтАЩm spinning this yarn. Well, on the day of the race I didnтАЩt know what to do. One half of me said, keep the thousand. The chapтАЩs bound to turn up some time, and itтАЩs his business to do his own puntingтБатАФthe other half said, put it on the favourite for him and give him a run for his money.тАЭ + 

тАЬSo you put it on the favourite?тАЭ AdamтАЩs heart felt like lead again. + 

тАЬNo, I didnтАЩt. In the end I said, well, the young chap must be frightfully rich. If he likes to throwaway his money, itтАЩs none of my business, so I planked it all on Indian Runner for you.тАЭ + 

тАЬYou meanтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

тАЬI mean IтАЩve got the nice little packet of thirty-five thou. waiting until you condescend to call for it.тАЭ + 

тАЬGood heavensтБатАКтБатАж look here, have a drink, wonтАЩt you?тАЭ + 

тАЬThatтАЩs a thing I never refuse.тАЭ + 

тАЬArchie, lend me some money until I get this fortune.тАЭ + 

тАЬHow much?тАЭ + 

тАЬEnough to buy five bottles of champagne.тАЭ + 

тАЬYes, if you can get them.тАЭ + 

The barmaid had a case of champagne at the back of the tent. (тАЬPeople often feel queer through watching the cars go by so fastтБатАФladies especially,тАЭ she explained.) So they took a bottle each and sat on the side of the hill and drank to AdamтАЩs prosperity. + 

тАЬHullo, everybody,тАЭ said the loud speaker. тАЬCar No.┬а28, the Italian Omega, driven by Captain Marino, has just completed the course in twelve minutes one second, lapping at an average speed of 78.3 miles per hour. This is the fastest time yet recorded.тАЭ + 

A burst of applause greeted this announcement, but Adam said, тАЬIтАЩve rather lost interest in this race.тАЭ + 

тАЬLook here, old boy,тАЭ the Major said when they were well settled down, тАЬIтАЩm rather in a hole. Makes me feel an awful ass, saying so, but the truth is I got my notecase pinched in the crowd. Of course, IтАЩve got plenty of small change to see me back to the hotel and theyтАЩll take a cheque of mine there, naturally, but the fact is I was keen to make a few bets with some chaps I hardly know. I wonder, old boy, could you possibly lend me a fiver? I can give it to you at the same time as I hand over the thirty-five thousand.тАЭ + 

тАЬWhy, of course,тАЭ said Adam. тАЬArchie, lend me a fiver, can you?тАЭ + 

тАЬAwfully good of you,тАЭ said the Major, tucking the notes into his hip pocket. тАЬWould it be all the same if you made it a tenner while weтАЩre about it?тАЭ + 

тАЬIтАЩm sorry,тАЭ said Archie, with a touch of coldness. тАЬIтАЩve only just got enough to get home with.тАЭ + 

тАЬThatтАЩs all right, old boy, I understand. Not another word.тБатАКтБатАж Well, hereтАЩs to us all.тАЭ + 

тАЬI was on the course at the November Handicap,тАЭ said Adam. тАЬI thought I saw you.тАЭ + 

тАЬIt would have saved a lot of fuss if weтАЩd met, wouldnтАЩt it? Still, allтАЩs well that endтАЩs well.тАЭ + 

тАЬWhat an angelic man your Major is,тАЭ said Miss Runcible. + 

When they had finished their champagne, the MajorтБатАФnow indisputably drunkтБатАФrose to go. + 

тАЬLook here, old boy,тАЭ he said. тАЬI must be toddling along now. Got to see some chaps. Thanks no end for the binge. So jolly having met you all again. Bye-bye, little lady.тАЭ + 

тАЬWhen shall we meet again?тАЭ said Adam. + 

тАЬAny time, old boy. Tickled to death to see you any time you care to drop in. Always a pew and a drink for old friends. So long everybody.тАЭ + 

тАЬBut couldnтАЩt I come and see you soon? About the money, you know.тАЭ + 

тАЬSooner the better, old boy. Though I donтАЩt know what you mean about money.тАЭ + 

тАЬMy thirty-five thousand.тАЭ + 

тАЬWhy, yes, to be sure. Fancy my forgetting that. I tell you what. You roll along tonight to the Imperial and IтАЩll give it to you then. Jolly glad to get it off my chest. Seven oтАЩclock at the American barтБатАФor a little before.тАЭ + 

тАЬLetтАЩs go back and look at the motor cars,тАЭ said Archie. + 

They went down the hill feeling buoyant and detached (as one should if one drinks a great deal before luncheon). When they reached the pits they decided they were hungry. It seemed too far to climb up to the dining tent, so they ate as much of the mechanicтАЩs lunch as Miss RuncibleтАЩs cigarette had spared. Then a mishap happened to No.┬а13. It drew into the side uncertainly, with the mechanic holding the steering wheel. A spanner, he told them, thrown from MarinoтАЩs car as they were passing him under the railway bridge, had hit MilesтАЩ friend on the shoulder. The mechanic helped him get out, and supported him to the Red Cross tent. тАЬMay as well scratch,тАЭ he said. тАЬHe wonтАЩt be good for anything more this afternoon. ItтАЩs asking for trouble having a No.┬а13.тАЭ Miles went to help his friend, leaving Miss Runcible and Adam and Archie staring rather stupidly at their motor car. Archie hiccuped slightly as he ate the mechanicтАЩs apple. + 

Soon an official appeared. + 

тАЬWhat happened here?тАЭ he said. + 

тАЬDriverтАЩs just been murdered,тАЭ said Archie. тАЬSpanner under the railway bridge. Marino.тАЭ + 

тАЬWell, are you going to scratch? WhoтАЩs spare driver?тАЭ + 

тАЬI donтАЩt know. Do you, Adam? I shouldnтАЩt be a bit surprised if they hadnтАЩt murdered the spare driver, too.тАЭ + 

тАЬIтАЩm spare driver,тАЭ said Miss Runcible. тАЬItтАЩs on my arm.тАЭ + 

тАЬSheтАЩs spare driver. Look, itтАЩs on her arm.тАЭ + 

тАЬWell, do you want to scratch?тАЭ + 

тАЬDonтАЩt you scratch, Agatha.тАЭ + 

тАЬNo, I donтАЩt want to scratch.тАЭ + 

тАЬAll right. WhatтАЩs your name?тАЭ + 

тАЬAgatha. IтАЩm the spare driver. ItтАЩs on my arm.тАЭ + 

тАЬI can see it isтБатАФall right, start off as soon as you like.тАЭ + 

тАЬAgatha,тАЭ repeated Miss Runcible firmly as she climbed into the car. тАЬItтАЩs on my arm.тАЭ + 

тАЬI say, Agatha,тАЭ said Adam. тАЬAre you sure youтАЩre all right?тАЭ + 

тАЬItтАЩs on my arm,тАЭ said Miss Runcible severely. + 

тАЬI mean, are you quite certain itтАЩs absolutely safe?тАЭ + 

тАЬNot absolutely safe, Adam. Not if they throw spanners. But IтАЩll go quite slowly at first until IтАЩm used to it. Just you see. Coming too?тАЭ + 

тАЬIтАЩll stay and wave the flag,тАЭ said Adam. + 

тАЬThatтАЩs right. GoodbyeтБатАКтБатАж goodness, how too stiff-scaring.тБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

The car shot out into the middle of the road, missed a collision by a foot, swung round and disappeared with a roar up the road. + 

тАЬI say, Archie, is it all right being tight in a car, if itтАЩs on a race course? They wonтАЩt run her in or anything?тАЭ + 

тАЬNo, no, thatтАЩs all right. All tight on the race course.тАЭ + 

тАЬSure?тАЭ + 

тАЬSure.тАЭ + 

тАЬAll of them?тАЭ + 

тАЬAbsolutely everyoneтБатАФtight as houses.тАЭ + 

тАЬThatтАЩs all right then. LetтАЩs go and have a drink.тАЭ + 

So they went up the hill again, through the Boy Scouts, to the refreshment tent. + 

It was not long before Miss Runcible was in the news. + 

тАЬHullo, everybody,тАЭ said the loud speaker. тАЬNo 13, the English Plunket-Bowse, driven by Miss Agatha, came into collision at Headlong Corner with No.┬а28, the Italian Omega car, driven by Captain Marino. No 13 righted itself and continued on the course. No.┬а28 overturned and has retired from the race.тАЭ + 

тАЬWell done, Agatha,тАЭ said Archie. + 

A few minutes later: + 

тАЬHullo, everybody. No.┬а13, the English Plunket-Bowse, driven by Miss Agatha, has just completed the course in nine minutes forty-one seconds. This constitutes a record for the course.тАЭ + 

Patriotic cheers broke out on all sides, and Miss RuncibleтАЩs health was widely drunk in the refreshment tent. + 

A few minutes later: + 

тАЬHullo, everybody; I have to contradict the announcement recently made that No.┬а13, the English Plunket-Bowse, driven by Miss Agatha, had established a record for the course. The stewards have now reported that No.┬а13 left the road just after the level crossing and cut across country for five miles, rejoining the track at the Red Lion corner. The lap has therefore been disallowed by the judges.тАЭ + 

A few minutes later: + 

тАЬHullo, everybody; No.┬а13, the English Plunket-Bowse car, driven by Miss Agatha, has retired from the race. It disappeared from the course some time ago, turning left instead of right at Church Corner, and was last seen proceeding south on the byroad, apparently out of control.тАЭ + 

тАЬMy dear, thatтАЩs lucky for me,тАЭ said Miles. тАЬA really good story my second day on the paper. This ought to do me good with the ExcessтБатАФvery rich-making,тАЭ and he hurried off to the post office tentтБатАФwhich was one of the amenities of the courseтБатАФto despatch a long account of Miss RuncibleтАЩs disaster. + 

Adam accompanied him and sent a wire to Nina: тАЬDrunk Major in refreshment tent not bogus thirty-five thousand married tomorrow everything perfect Agatha lost love Adam.тАЭ + 

тАЬThat seems quite clear,тАЭ he said. + 

They went to the hospital tent after thisтБатАФanother amenity of the courseтБатАФto see how MilesтАЩ friend was getting on. He seemed in some pain and showed anxiety about his car. + 

тАЬI think itтАЩs very heartless of him,тАЭ said Adam. тАЬHe ought to be worried about Agatha. It only showsтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

тАЬMotor men are heartless,тАЭ said Miles, with a sigh. + 

Presently Captain Marino was borne in on a stretcher. He turned on his side with a deep groan and spat at MilesтАЩ friend as he went past him. He also spat at the doctor who came to bandage him and bit one of the V.A.D.тАЩs. + 

They said Captain Marino was no gentleman in the hospital tent. + 

There was no chance of leaving the course before the end of the race, Archie was told, and the race would not be over for at least two hours. Round and round went the stream of cars. At intervals the Boy Scouts posted a large red R against one or other of the numbers, as engine trouble or collision or Headlong Corner took its toll. A long queue stretched along the top of the hill from the door of the luncheon tent. Then it began to rain. + 

There was nothing for it but to go back to the bar. + 

At dusk the last car completed its course. The silver gilt trophy was presented to the winner. The loud speaker broadcast тАЬGod Save the King,тАЭ and a cheerful тАЬGoodbye, everybody.тАЭ The tail of the queue outside the dining tent were respectfully informed that no more luncheons could be served. The barmaids in the refreshment tent said, тАЬAll glasses, ladies and gentlemen, please.тАЭ The motor ambulances began a final round of the track to pick up survivors. Then Adam and Miles and Archie Schwert went to look for their car. + 

Darkness fell during the drive back. It took an hour to reach the town. Adam and Miles and Archie Schwert did not talk much. The effect of their drinks had now entered on that secondary stage, vividly described in temperance handbooks, when the momentary illusion of well-being and exhilaration gives place to melancholy, indigestion and moral decay. Adam tried to concentrate his thoughts upon his sudden wealth, but they seemed unable to adhere to this high pinnacle, and as often as he impelled them up, slithered back helplessly to his present physical discomfort. + 

The sluggish procession in which they were moving led them eventually to the centre of the town and the soberly illuminated front of the Imperial Hotel. A torrential flow of wet and hungry motor enthusiasts swept and eddied about the revolving doors. + 

тАЬI shall die if I donтАЩt eat something soon,тАЭ said Miles. тАЬLetтАЩs leave Agatha until weтАЩve had a meal.тАЭ + 

But the manager of the Imperial was unimpressed by numbers or necessity and manfully upheld the integrity of British hotel-keeping. Tea, he explained, was served daily in the Palm Court, with orchestra on Thursdays and Sundays, between the hours of four and six. A table dтАЩh├┤te dinner was served in the dining-room from seven-thirty until nine oтАЩclock. An ├а la carte dinner was also served in the grill room at the same time. It was now twenty minutes past six. If the gentlemen cared to return in an hour and ten minutes he would do his best to accommodate them, but he could not promise to reserve a table. Things were busy that day. There had been motor races in the neighbourhood, he explained. + 

The commissionaire was more helpful, and told them that there was a teashop restaurant called the Caf├й Royal a little way down the High Street, next to the Cinema. He seemed, however, to have given the same advice to all comers, for the Caf├й Royal was crowded and overflowing. Everyone was being thoroughly cross, but only the most sarcastic and overbearing were given tables, and only the gross and outrageous were given food. Adam and Miles and Archie Schwert then tried two more teashops, one kept by тАЬladiesтАЭ and called тАЬThe Honest Injun,тАЭ a workmenтАЩs dining-room and a fried-fish shop. Eventually they bought a bag of mixed biscuits at a cooperative store, which they ate in the Palm Court of the Imperial, maintaining a moody silence. + 

It was now after seven, and Adam remembered his appointment in the American bar. There, too, inevitably, was a dense crowd. Some of the тАЬSpeed KingsтАЭ themselves had appeared, pink from their baths, wearing dinner-jackets and stiff white shirts, each in his circle of admirers. Adam struggled to the bar. + 

тАЬHave you seen a drunk Major in here anywhere?тАЭ he asked. + 

The barmaid sniffed. тАЬI should think not, indeed,тАЭ she said. тАЬAnd I shouldnтАЩt serve him if he did come in. I donтАЩt have people of that description in my bar. The very idea.тАЭ + 

тАЬWell, perhaps heтАЩs not drunk now. But have you seen a stout, red-faced man, with a single eyeglass and a turned-up moustache?тАЭ + 

тАЬWell, there was someone like that not so long ago. Are you a friend of his?тАЭ + 

тАЬI want to see him badly.тАЭ + 

тАЬWell, all I can say is I wish youтАЩd try and look after him and donтАЩt bring him in here again. Going on something awful he was. Broke two glasses and got very quarrelsome with the other gentlemen. He had three or four pound notes in his hand. Kept waving them about and saying, тАШDтАЩyou know what? I met a mutt today. I owe him thirty-five thousand pounds and he lent me a fiver.тАЩ Well, thatтАЩs not the way to talk before strangers, is it? He went out ten minutes ago. I was glad to see the back of him, I can tell you.тАЭ + 

тАЬDid he say thatтБатАФabout having met a mutt?тАЭ + 

тАЬDidnтАЩt stop saying it the whole time he was in hereтБатАФmost monotonous.тАЭ + 

But as Adam left the bar he saw the Major coming out of the gentlemenтАЩs lavatory. He was walking very deliberately, and stared at Adam with a glazed and vacant eye. + 

тАЬHi!тАЭ cried Adam. тАЬHi!тАЭ + 

тАЬCheerio,тАЭ said the drunk Major distantly. + 

тАЬI say,тАЭ said Adam. тАЬWhat about my thirty-five thousand pounds?тАЭ + 

The drunk Major stopped and adjusted his monocle. + 

тАЬThirty-five thousand and five pounds,тАЭ he said. тАЬWhat about them?тАЭ + 

тАЬWell, where are they?тАЭ + 

тАЬTheyтАЩre safe enough. National and Provincial Union Bank of England, Limited. A perfectly sound and upright company. IтАЩd trust them with more than that if I had it. IтАЩd trust them with a million, old boy, honest I would. One of those fine old companies, you know. They donтАЩt make companies like that now. IтАЩd trust that bank with my wife and kiddies.тБатАКтБатАж You mustnтАЩt think IтАЩd put your money into anything that wasnтАЩt straight, old boy. You ought to know me well enough for that.тБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

тАЬNo, of course not. ItтАЩs terribly kind of you to have looked after itтБатАФyou said youтАЩd give me a cheque this evening. DonтАЩt you remember?тАЭ + 

The drunk Major looked at him craftily. тАЬAh,тАЭ he said. тАЬThatтАЩs another matter. I told someone IтАЩd give him a cheque. But how am I to know it was you?тБатАКтБатАж IтАЩve got to be careful, you know. Suppose you were just a crook dressed up. I donтАЩt say you are, mind, but supposing. WhereтАЩd I be then? You have to look at both sides of a case like this.тАЭ + 

тАЬOh, God.тБатАКтБатАж IтАЩve got two friends here whoтАЩll swear to you IтАЩm Adam Symes. Will that do?тАЭ + 

тАЬMight be a gang. Besides I donтАЩt know that the name of the chap who gave me the thousand was Adam what-dтАЩyou-call-it at all. Only your word for it. IтАЩll tell you what,тАЭ said the Major, sitting down in a deep armchair, тАЬIтАЩll sleep on it. Just forty winks. IтАЩll let you know my decision when I wake up. DonтАЩt think me suspicious, old boy, but IтАЩve got to be carefulтБатАКтБатАж other chapтАЩs money, you knowтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ And he fell asleep. + 

Adam struggled through the crowd to the Palm Court, where he had left Miles and Archie. News of No.┬а13 had just come through. The car had been found piled up on the market cross of a large village about fifteen miles away (doing irreparable damage to a monument already scheduled for preservation by the Office of Works). But there was no sign of Miss Runcible. + 

тАЬI suppose we ought to do something about it,тАЭ said Miles. тАЬThis is the most miserable day I ever spent. Did you get your fortune?тАЭ + 

тАЬThe Major was too drunk to recognize me. HeтАЩs just gone to sleep.тАЭ + 

тАЬWell.тАЭ + 

тАЬWe must go to this beastly village and look for Agatha.тАЭ + 

тАЬI canтАЩt leave my Major. HeтАЩll probably wake up soon and give the fortune to the first person he sees.тАЭ + 

тАЬLetтАЩs just go and shake him until he gives us the fortune now,тАЭ said Miles. + 

But this was impracticable, for when they reached the chair where Adam had left him, the drunk Major was gone. + 

The hall porter remembered him going out quite clearly. He had pressed a pound into his hand, saying, тАЬMet-a-mutt-today,тАЭ and taken a taxi to the station. + 

тАЬDтАЩyou know,тАЭ said Adam. тАЬI donтАЩt believe that IтАЩm ever going to get that fortune.тАЭ + 

тАЬWell, I donтАЩt see that youтАЩve very much to complain of,тАЭ said Archie. тАЬYouтАЩre no worse off than you were. IтАЩve lost a fiver and five bottles of champagne.тАЭ + 

тАЬThatтАЩs true,тАЭ said Adam, a little consoled. + 

They got into the car and drove through the rain to the village where the Plunket-Bowse had been found. There it stood, still smoking and partially recognizable, surrounded by admiring villagers. A constable in a waterproof cape was doing his best to preserve it intact from the raids of souvenir hunters who were collecting the smaller fragments. + 

No one seemed to have witnessed the disaster. The younger members of the community were all at the races, while the elders were engaged in their afternoon naps. One thought he had heard a crash. + 

Inquiries at the railway station, however, disclosed that a young lady, much dishevelled in appearance, and wearing some kind of band on her arm, had appeared in the booking office early that afternoon and asked where she was. On being told, she said, well, she wished she wasnтАЩt, because someone had left an enormous stone spanner in the middle of the road. She admitted feeling rather odd. The stationmaster had asked her if she would like to come in and sit down and offered to get her some brandy. She said, тАЬNo, no more brandy,тАЭ and bought a first-class ticket to London. She had left on the 3:25 train. + 

тАЬSo thatтАЩs all right,тАЭ said Archie. + 

Then they left the village and presently found an hotel on the Great North Road, where they dined and spent the night. They reached London by luncheon time next day, and learned that Miss Runcible had been found early that morning staring fixedly at a model engine in the central hall at Euston Station. In answer to some gentle questions, she replied that to the best of her knowledge she had no name, pointing to the brassard on her arm, as if in confirmation of this fact. She had come in a motor car, she explained, which would not stop. It was full of bugs which she had tried to kill with drops of face lotion. One of them threw a spanner. There had been a stone thing in the way. They shouldnтАЩt put up symbols like that in the middle of the road, should they, or should they? + 

So they conveyed her to a nursing home in Wimpole Street and kept her for some time in a darkened room. + 