I have seen a horrible nightmare. I strolled casually into the Finland railway station where a crowd had collected to meet a company of wounded expected back from Germany. They had been dealt with and sent back again, for they were no longer terrible. Oh, God! Like a blind and deaf fool, absorbed in my own petty affairs, I did not realise at first why the crowd was there. It seemed a festive occasion; flag, flowers, and band must have leant colour to this thought. A bride and bridegroom might have been expected to arrive. When I heard the truth, I went cold with horror. I stood waiting for the arrival of the train, unable to picture the sight I was to see. + 

And when they arrived, and men without arms and legs were carried out, and the blind and the halt hobbled along, and the band struck up in honour of the warriors’ return, my heart melted within me, and I wept with the rest of the crowd. When I shut my eyes, I could not hear the sound of voices; I only heard the sound of feet and crutches along the platform, and the strains of the music.⁠ ⁠… I couldn’t understand what was happening. I understood no better when I opened my eyes. In bright-coloured shirts of blue and red they came, as gay as bridegrooms, but their arms and legs were gone.⁠ ⁠… Were these, then, the new bridegrooms of Mother Russia? Who was I to look at them? + 

What a picture they made when they were seated at the table where a meal had been prepared for them! The tears rolled down their cheeks and salted the bread of their native land that they were eating. How weary their faces looked! They seemed as dear and familiar to me as the face of an old friend. Speeches were made to welcome them home.⁠ ⁠… And as I stood watching a blind little pockmarked man near me, who couldn’t carry his spoon to his mouth, I felt that the earth ought to open and swallow me up. At that moment a young officer caught the eye of one of his men, a little fellow who had lost an arm. The officer came up, and the two smiled to each other, and when I saw that smile I could endure it no longer. I turned away, and pushing my way out of the crowd, I walked over to a remote corner of the station, and prostrated myself three times to the ground. + 

Ah, my bridegrooms in bright-coloured shirts! How heavily do the wedding crowns rest on your brows, and how burning hot are the wedding rings that will join you forever to your native land! + 

Forgive me, a sinner and outcast! + 