Scene
II
Another room in the same.
Enter Face, Kastril, and Dame Pliant.
Face
Come, lady: I knew the Doctor would not leave,
Till he had found the very nick of her fortune.
Kastril
To be a countess, say you, a Spanish countess, sir?
Dame Pliant
Why, is that better than an English countess?
Face
Better! ’Slight, make you that a question, lady?
Kastril
Nay, she is a fool, Captain, you must pardon her.
Face
Ask from your courtier, to your inns-of-court-man,
To your mere milliner; they will tell you all,
Your Spanish jennet is the best horse; your Spanish
Stoop is the best garb; your Spanish beard
Is the best cut; your Spanish ruffs are the best
Wear; your Spanish pavan the best dance;
Your Spanish titillation in a glove
The best perfume: and for your Spanish pike,
And Spanish blade, let your poor Captain speak—
Here comes the Doctor.
Enter Subtle, with a paper.
Subtle
My most honoured lady,
For so I am now to style you, having found
By this my scheme, you are to undergo
An honourable fortune, very shortly.
What will you say now, if some—
Face
I have told her all, sir,
And her right worshipful brother here, that she shall be
A countess; do not delay them, sir; a Spanish countess.
Subtle
Still, my scarce-worshipful Captain, you can keep
No secret! Well, since he has told you, madam,
Do you forgive him, and I do.
Kastril
She shall do that, sir;
I’ll look to it, ’tis my charge.
Subtle
Well then: nought rests
But that she fit her love now to her fortune.
Dame Pliant
Truly I shall never brook a Spaniard.
Subtle
No!
Dame Pliant
Never since eighty-eight could I abide them,
And that was some three year afore I was born, in truth.
Subtle
Come, you must love him, or be miserable,
Choose which you will.
Face
By this good rush, persuade her,
She will cry strawberries else within this twelvemonth.
Subtle
Nay, shads and mackerel, which is worse.
Face
Indeed, sir!
Kastril
Od’s lid, you shall love him, or I’ll kick you.
Dame Pliant
Why,
I’ll do as you will have me, brother.
Kastril
Do,
Or by this hand I’ll maul you.
Face
Nay, good sir,
Be not so fierce.
Subtle
No, my enraged child;
She will be ruled. What, when she comes to taste
The pleasures of a countess! To be courted—
Face
And kissed, and ruffled!
Subtle
Ay, behind the hangings.
Face
And then come forth in pomp!
Subtle
And know her state!
Face
Of keeping all the idolaters of the chamber
Barer to her, than at their prayers!
Subtle
Is served
Upon the knee!
Face
And has her pages, ushers,
Footmen, and coaches—
Subtle
Her six mares—
Face
Nay, eight!
Subtle
To hurry her through London, to the Exchange,
Bedlam, the china-houses—
Face
Yes, and have
The citizens gape at her, and praise her tires,
And my lord’s goose-turd bands, that ride with her!
Kastril
Most brave! By this hand, you are not my sister,
If you refuse.
Dame Pliant
I will not refuse, brother.
Enter Surly.
Pertinax Surly
Que es esto, señores, que no venga?
Esta tardanza me mata!
Face
It is the Count come:
The Doctor knew he would be here, by his art.
Subtle
En gallanta madama, Don! Gallantissima!
Pertinax Surly
Por todos los dioses, la mas acabada
hermosura, que he visto en mi vida!
Face
Is’t not a gallant language that they speak?
Kastril
An admirable language! Is’t not French?
Face
No, Spanish, sir.
Kastril
It goes like law-French,
And that, they say, is the courtliest language.
Face
List, sir.
Pertinax Surly
El sol ha perdido su lumbre, con el
Esplandor que trae esta dama! Válgame Dios!
Face
He admires your sister.
Kastril
Must not she make curtsey?
Subtle
’Ods will, she must go to him, man, and kiss him!
It is the Spanish fashion, for the women
To make first court.
Face
’Tis true he tells you, sir:
His art knows all.
Pertinax Surly
Porqué no se acude?
Kastril
He speaks to her, I think.
Face
That he does, sir.
Pertinax Surly
Por el amor de Dios, qué es esto que se tarda?
Kastril
Nay, see: she will not understand him! Gull,
Noddy.
Dame Pliant
What say you, brother?
Kastril
Ass, my sister.
Go kiss him, as the cunning man would have you;
I’ll thrust a pin in your buttocks else.
Face
O no, sir.
Pertinax Surly
Señora mía, mi persona esta muy indigna de
Allegara tanta hermosura.
Face
Does he not use her bravely?
Kastril
Bravely, i’faith!
Face
Nay, he will use her better.
Kastril
Do you think so?
Pertinax Surly
Señora, si sera servida, entremonos.
Exit with Dame Pliant.
Kastril
Where does he carry her?
Face
Into the garden, sir;
Take you no thought: I must interpret for her.
Subtle
Give Dol the word.
Aside to Face, who goes out.
—Come, my fierce child, advance,
We’ll to our quarrelling lesson again.
Kastril
Agreed.
I love a Spanish boy with all my heart.
Subtle
Nay, and by this means, sir, you shall be brother
To a great count.
Kastril
Ay, I knew that at first,
This match will advance the house of the Kastrils.
Subtle
’Pray God your sister prove but pliant!
Kastril
Why,
Her name is so, by her other husband.
Subtle
How!
Kastril
The widow Pliant. Knew you not that?
Subtle
No, faith, sir;
Yet, by erection of her figure, I guessed it.
Come, let’s go practise.
Kastril
Yes, but do you think, Doctor,
I e’er shall quarrel well?
Subtle
I warrant you.
Exeunt.