Scene
II
A room in the same.
Enter Subtle, leading in Dapper, with his eyes bound as before.
Subtle
How! You have eaten your gag?
Dapper
Yes faith, it crumbled
Away in my mouth.
Subtle
You have spoiled all then.
Dapper
No!
I hope my aunt of Fairy will forgive me.
Subtle
Your aunt’s a gracious lady; but in troth
You were to blame.
Dapper
The fume did overcome me,
And I did do’t to stay my stomach. ’Pray you
So satisfy her Grace.
Enter Face, in his uniform.
Here comes the Captain.
Face
How now! Is his mouth down?
Subtle
Ay, he has spoken!
Face
A pox, I heard him, and you too.—He’s undone then.—
I have been fain to say, the house is haunted
With spirits, to keep churl back.
Subtle
And hast thou done it?
Face
Sure, for this night.
Subtle
Why, then triumph and sing
Of Face so famous, the precious king
Of present wits.
Face
Did you not hear the coil
About the door?
Subtle
Yes, and I dwindled with it.
Face
Show him his aunt, and let him be dispatched:
I’ll send her to you.
Exit Face.
Subtle
Well, sir, your aunt her Grace
Will give you audience presently, on my suit,
And the Captain’s word that you did not eat your gag
In any contempt of her Highness.
Unbinds his eyes.
Dapper
Not I, in troth, sir.
Enter Dol, like the Queen of Fairy.
Subtle
Here she is come. Down o’ your knees and wriggle:
She has a stately presence.
Dapper kneels, and shuffles towards her.
Good! Yet nearer,
And bid, God save you!
Dapper
Madam!
Subtle
And your aunt.
Dapper
And my most gracious aunt, God save your Grace.
Dol Common
Nephew, we thought to have been angry with you;
But that sweet face of yours hath turned the tide,
And made it flow with joy, that ebbed of love.
Arise, and touch our velvet gown.
Subtle
The skirts,
And kiss ’em. So!
Dol Common
Let me now stroke that head.
“Much, nephew, shalt thou win, much shalt thou spend,
Much shalt thou give away, much shalt thou lend.”
Subtle
Aside. Ay, much! Indeed.—Why do you not thank her Grace?
Dapper
I cannot speak for joy.
Subtle
See, the kind wretch!
Your Grace’s kinsman right.
Dol Common
Give me the bird.
Here is your fly in a purse, about your neck, cousin;
Wear it, and feed it about this day sev’n-night,
On your right wrist—
Subtle
Open a vein with a pin,
And let it suck but once a week; till then,
You must not look on’t.
Dol Common
No: and kinsman,
Bear yourself worthy of the blood you come on.
Subtle
Her Grace would have you eat no more Woolsack pies,
Nor Dagger frumety.
Dol Common
Nor break his fast
In Heaven and Hell.
Subtle
She’s with you everywhere!
Nor play with costermongers, at mum-chance, tray-trip,
God make you rich; (when as your aunt has done it);
But keep
The gallantest company, and the best games—
Dapper
Yes, sir.
Subtle
Gleek and primero; and what you get, be true to us.
Dapper
By this hand, I will.
Subtle
You may bring’s a thousand pound
Before tomorrow night, if but three thousand
Be stirring, an you will.
Dapper
I swear I will then.
Subtle
Your fly will learn you all games.
Face
Within. Have you done there?
Subtle
Your Grace will command him no more duties?
Dol Common
No:
But come, and see me often. I may chance
To leave him three or four hundred chests of treasure,
And some twelve thousand acres of Fairyland,
If he game well and comely with good gamesters.
Subtle
There’s a kind aunt! Kiss her departing part.—
But you must sell your forty mark a year, now.
Dapper
Ay, sir, I mean.
Subtle
Or, give’t away; pox on’t!
Dapper
I’ll give’t mine aunt. I’ll go and fetch the writings.
Exit.
Subtle
’Tis well—away!
Reenter Face.
Face
Where’s Subtle?
Subtle
Here: what news?
Face
Drugger is at the door, go take his suit,
And bid him fetch a parson, presently;
Say, he shall marry the widow. Thou shalt spend
A hundred pound by the service!
Exit Subtle.
Now, queen Dol,
Have you packed up all?
Dol Common
Yes.
Face
And how do you like
The lady Pliant?
Dol Common
A good dull innocent.
Reenter Subtle.
Subtle
Here’s your Hieronimo’s cloak and hat.
Face
Give me them.
Subtle
And the ruff too?
Face
Yes; I’ll come to you presently.
Exit.
Subtle
Now he is gone about his project, Dol,
I told you of, for the widow.
Dol Common
’Tis direct
Against our articles.
Subtle
Well, we will fit him, wench.
Hast thou gulled her of her jewels or her bracelets?
Dol Common
No; but I will do’t.
Subtle
Soon at night, my Dolly,
When we are shipped, and all our goods aboard,
Eastward for Ratcliff, we will turn our course
To Brainford, westward, if thou sayst the word,
And take our leaves of this o’er-weening rascal,
This peremptory Face.
Dol Common
Content, I’m weary of him.
Subtle
Thou’st cause, when the slave will run a wiving, Dol,
Against the instrument that was drawn between us.
Dol Common
I’ll pluck his bird as bare as I can.
Subtle
Yes, tell her,
She must by any means address some present
To the cunning man, make him amends for wronging
His art with her suspicion; send a ring,
Or chain of pearl; she will be tortured else
Extremely in her sleep, say, and have strange things
Come to her. Wilt thou?
Dol Common
Yes.
Subtle
My fine flitter-mouse,
My bird o’ the night! We’ll tickle it at the Pigeons,
When we have all, and may unlock the trunks,
And say, this’s mine, and thine; and thine, and mine.
They kiss.
Reenter Face.
Face
What now! A billing?
Subtle
Yes, a little exalted
In the good passage of our stock-affairs.
Face
Drugger has brought his parson; take him in, Subtle,
And send Nab back again to wash his face.
Subtle
I will: and shave himself?
Exit.
Face
If you can get him.
Dol Common
You are hot upon it, Face, whate’er it is!
Face
A trick that Dol shall spend ten pound a month by.
Reenter Subtle.
Is he gone?
Subtle
The chaplain waits you in the hall, sir.
Face
I’ll go bestow him.
Exit.
Dol Common
He’ll now marry her, instantly.
Subtle
He cannot yet, he is not ready. Dear Dol,
Cozen her of all thou canst. To deceive him
Is no deceit, but justice, that would break
Such an inextricable tie as ours was.
Dol Common
Let me alone to fit him.
Reenter Face.
Face
Come, my venturers,
You have packed up all? Where be the trunks? Bring forth.
Subtle
Here.
Face
Let us see them. Where’s the money?
Subtle
Here,
In this.
Face
Mammon’s ten pound; eight score before:
The Brethren’s money, this. Drugger’s and Dapper’s.
What paper’s that?
Dol Common
The jewel of the waiting maid’s,
That stole it from her lady, to know certain—
Face
If she should have precedence of her mistress?
Dol Common
Yes.
Face
What box is that?
Subtle
The fishwives’ rings, I think,
And the alewives’ single money. Is’t not, Dol?
Dol Common
Yes; and the whistle that the sailor’s wife
Brought you to know an her husband were with Ward.
Face
We’ll wet it tomorrow; and our silver-beakers
And tavern cups. Where be the French petticoats,
And girdles and hangers?
Subtle
Here, in the trunk,
And the bolts of lawn.
Face
Is Drugger’s damask there,
And the tobacco?
Subtle
Yes.
Face
Give me the keys.
Dol Common
Why you the keys?
Subtle
No matter, Dol; because
We shall not open them before he comes.
Face
’Tis true, you shall not open them, indeed;
Nor have them forth, do you see? Not forth, Dol.
Dol Common
No!
Face
No, my smock rampant. The right is, my master
Knows all, has pardoned me, and he will keep them;
Doctor, ’tis true—you look—for all your figures:
I sent for him, indeed. Wherefore, good partners,
Both he and she be satisfied; for here
Determines the indenture tripartite
’Twixt Subtle, Dol, and Face. All I can do
Is to help you over the wall, o’ the backside,
Or lend you a sheet to save your velvet gown, Dol.
Here will be officers presently, bethink you
Of some course suddenly to ’scape the dock:
For thither you will come else.
Loud knocking.
Hark you, thunder.
Subtle
You are a precious fiend!
Officer
Without. Open the door.
Face
Dol, I am sorry for thee i’faith; but hear’st thou?
It shall go hard but I will place thee somewhere:
Thou shalt have my letter to mistress Amo—
Dol Common
Hang you!
Face
Or madam Caesarean.
Dol Common
Pox upon you, rogue,
Would I had but time to beat thee!
Face
Subtle,
Let’s know where you set up next; I will send you
A customer now and then, for old acquaintance:
What new course have you?
Subtle
Rogue, I’ll hang myself;
That I may walk a greater devil than thou,
And haunt thee in the flock-bed and the buttery.
Exeunt.