June 20 + 

… It annoys me to find the laissez-faire attitude of our relatives. Not one with a remonstrance for us and yet all the omens are against our marriage. In the state of my nervous system and in the state of hers⁠—we have both had serious nervous breakdowns⁠—how impossible it seems! Yet they say all the old conventional things to us, about our happiness and so on!⁠ ⁠… + 

… Am I a moral monster? Surely a man who can combine such calculating callousness with really generous impulses of the heart is⁠—what? + 

The truth is I think I am in love with her: but I am also mightily in love with myself. One or the other has to give. + 