March 22
Went to bed late last night so I slept on soundly till 9 a.m. Went down to the bathroom, but found the door was shut, so went back to my bedroom again, lay down and dosed a while, thinking of nothing in particular. Went down again—door still locked—swore—returned once more to my room and reclined on the bed, with door open, so that I could hear as soon as the bathroom door opened. … Rang the bell, and Miss ⸻ brought up a jug of hot water to shave with, and a tumbler of hot water to drink (for my dyspepsia). She, on being interrogated, said there was someone in the bathroom. I said I wanted a bath too, so as she passed on her way down she shouted, “Hurry up, Mr. Barbellion wants a bath as well.” Her footsteps then died away as she descended lower into the basement, where the family lives, sleeps, and cooks our food.
At length, hearing the door open, I ejaculated, “the Lord be praised,” rushed down, entered the bathroom and secured it from further intruders. I observed that Miss ⸻ senior had been bathing her members, and that the bath, though empty, was covered inside with patches of soap—unutterably black! Oh! Miss ⸻!
Dressed leisurely and breakfasted. When the table was cleared wrote a portion of my essay on Spallanzani. …
Then, being giddy and tired, rang for dinner. Miss ⸻ laid the table. She looked very clean. I said, “Good morning,” and she suitably replied, and I went on reading, the Winning Post. Felt too slack to be amiable. Next time she came in, I said as pleasantly as I could, “Is it all ready?” and being informed proceeded to eat forthwith.
In the afternoon, took a bus to Richmond. No room outside, so had to go inside—curse—and sit opposite a row—curse again—of fat, ugly, elderly women, all off to visit their married daughters, the usual Sunday jaunt. At Hammersmith got on the outside, and at Turnham Green was caught in a hail storm. Very cold all of a sudden, so got off and took shelter in the doorway of a shop, which was of course closed, the day being Sunday. Rain, wind, and hail continued for some while, as I gazed at the wet, almost empty street, thinking, rethinking and thinking over again the same thought, viz., that the bus ride along this route was exceptionally cheap—probably because of competition with the trams.
The next bus took me to Richmond. Two young girls sat in front, and kept looking back to know if I was “game.” I looked through them. Walked in the Park just conscious of the singing of Larks and the chatter of Jays, but harassed mentally by the question, “To whom shall I send my essay, when finished?” To shelter from the rain sat under an oak where four youths joined me and said, “Worse luck,” and “Not half,” and smoked cigarettes. They gossipped and giggled like girls, put their arms around each other’s necks. At the dinner last night, they said, they had Duck and Tomato Soup and Beeswax (“Beesley, you know, the chap that goes about with Smith a lot”) wore a fancy waistcoat with a dinner jacket. When I got up to move on, they became convulsed with laughter. I scowled.
Had tea in the Pagoda tearooms, dry toast and brown bread and butter. Two young men opposite me were quietly playing the fool.
“Hold my hand,” one said audibly enough for two lovers to hear, comfortably settled up in a corner. Even at a side view I could see them kissing each other in between mouthfuls of bread and butter and jam.
On rising to go, one of the two hilarious youths removed my cap and playfully placed it on top of the bowler which his friend was wearing.
“My cap, I think,” I said sharply, and the young man apologised with a splutter. I glared like a killjoy of sixty.
On the bus, coming home, through streets full of motor traffic and all available space plastered with advertisements that screamed at you, I espied in front three pretty girls, who gave me the “Glad Eye.” One had a deep, musical voice, and kept on using it, one of the others a pretty ankle and kept on showing it.
At Kew, two Italians came aboard, one of whom went out of his way to sit among the girls. He sat level with them, and kept turning his head around, giving them a sweeping glance as he did so, to shout remarks in Italian to his friend behind. He thought the girls were prostitutes, I think, and he may have been right. I was on the seat behind this man and for want of anything better to do, studied his face minutely. In short, it was fat, round, and greasy. He wore black moustachios with curly ends, his eyes were dark shining, bulgy, and around his neck was wrapped a scarf inside a dirty linen collar, as if he had a sore throat. I sat behind him and hated him steadily, perseveringly.
At Hammersmith the three girls got off, and the bulgy-eyed Italian watched them go with lascivious eyes, looking over the rail and down at them on the pavement—still interested. I looked down too. They crossed the road in front of us and disappeared.
Came home and here I am writing this. This is the content of today’s consciousness. This is about all I have thought, said, or done, or felt. A stagnant day!