December 23 + 

It really did require an effort to go upstairs today to his bedroom and say cheerfully I was not going to P. after all, and that the matter was of no consequence to me. I laughed gaily and Dad was relieved. A thundering good joke. What annoys me is that other folk⁠—the brainless, heartless mob, as Schopenhauer remarks, still continue to regard me as one of themselves.⁠ ⁠… I had nearly escaped into a seaside laboratory, and now suddenly to be flung back into the dirt and sweat of the newspaper world seems very hard, and it is very hard. + 