XIV
How Simplicissimus Led the Life of a Nobleman, and How the Croats Robbed Him of This When They Stole Himself
So from this time forward I possessed in full the favour, grace, and love of my lord, of which I can boast with truth: nought I wanted to complete my good fortune but that my calfskin was too much and my years too little, though I knew it not myself. Besides, the pastor would not yet have me brought to my senses, but it seemed to him not yet time, neither as yet profitable for his interest. But my lord, seeing my taste for music, had me to learn it, and hired for me an excellent lute-player, whose art I presently well understood and in this excelled him, that I could sing to the lute better than he. So could I serve my lord for his pleasure, for his pastime, delight, and admiration. Likewise all the officers showed me their respect and goodwill, the richest burghers sent me gratifications, and the household, like the soldiers, wished me well because they saw how well inclined my master was to me. One treated me here, another there; for they knew that often jesters have more power with their masters than honest men: and to this end were all their gifts; for some gave to me lest I should slander them, others for that very reason—namely, that I should slander others for their sake. In which manner I put together a pretty sum of money, which for the most part I handed to the pastor; for I knew not yet to what end it could be used. And as none dared look at me askance, so from this time forward I had no jealousy, care, or trouble to encounter with. All my thoughts I gave to my music, and to devising how I might courteously point out to one and the other his failings. So I grew like a pig in clover, and my strength of body increased palpably: soon could one see that I was no longer starving my body in the wood with water and acorns and beechnuts and roots and herbs, but that over a good meal I found the Rhenish wine and the Hanau double-beer to my taste, which was indeed in those miserable times to be accounted a great favour of God: for at that time all Germany was aflame with war and harried by hunger and pestilence, and Hanau itself besieged by the enemy, all which disturbed me not in the least. But after the raising of the siege my master designed to make a present of me either to Cardinal Richelieu or Duke Bernhard of Weimar, for besides that he hoped to earn great thanks for the gift, he said plainly ’twas not possible for him to bear the sight of me longer, because I presented to him in that fool’s raiment the face of his lost sister, to whom I grew more like every day. In that the pastor opposed him, for he held that the time was not yet come when he was to do a miracle and make me a reasonable creature again, and therefore counselled the Governor he should have a couple of calfskins prepared and put on two other boys, and thereafter appoint some third person who, in the shape of a physician, prophet or conjurer, should strip me and the said two boys and pretend he could make beasts into men and men into beasts: in this manner I might be restored, and without great pains might be brought to believe I had, like others, again become a man. Which proposal when the Governor approved, the pastor told me what he had agreed with my master, and easily persuaded me to consent thereto. But envious Fortune would not so easily free me of my fool’s clothes nor leave me longer to enjoy my noble life of pleasure. For while tanners and tailors were already at work on the apparel that appertained to this comedy, I was even then sporting with some other boys on the ice in front of the ramparts. And there someone, I know not who, brought upon us a party of Croats, which seized upon us all, set us upon certain riderless farm-horses which they had just stolen, and carried us all off together. ’Tis true they were at first in doubt whether to take me with them or not, till at last one said in Bohemian, “Mih werne daho blasna sebao, bowe deme ho gbabo Oberstowi” (“Take we the fool: bring we him to our colonel”). And another answered him, “Prschis am bambo ano, mi ho nagonie possadeime wan rosumi niemezki, won bude mit Kratock wille sebao” (“Yes, by God, set we him on the horse. The colonel speaks German: he will have sport with him”). So I must to horse, and must learn how a single unlucky hour can rob one of all welfare and so separate him from all luck and happiness that all his life he must bear the consequences.