XV + 

Of Simplicissimus’ Life with the Troopers, and What He Saw and Learned Among the Croats + 

Though ’tis true the Hanauers raised an alarm at once, sallied forth on horseback, and for a while detained the Croats and harassed them with skirmishing, yet could they get from them none of their booty; for being light troops, they escaped very cleverly, and took their way to Büdingen, where they baited, and delivered to the burghers there the rich Hanauers’ sons to put to ransom, and there sold their stolen horses and other wares. From thence they decamped again before it was even fully night, let alone day again, and rode hard through the Büdingen forest into the abbey-lands of Fulda, and seized on the way all they could carry with them. For robbery and plunder hindered them not in the least in their swift march: like the devil, that can do mischief as he flies. And the same evening they arrived in the abbey-lands of Hirschfeld, where they had their quarters, with great store of plunder. And this was divided; but me their colonel Corpes took as his share. + 

In the service of this master all appeared to me as unpleasing and well-nigh barbarous: the dainties of Hanau had changed into coarse black bread and stringy beef, or by good luck a bit of stolen pork: wine and beer were now turned to water, and instead of a bed I must be content to lie by the horses in the straw. Instead of that lute-playing which had delighted all men, now must I at times creep under the table like the other lads, howl like a dog, and suffer myself to be pricked with their spurs, which was for me but a poor jest. Instead of my promenades at Hanau, I must now ride on foraging parties, groom horses and clean out their stalls. Now this same foraging is neither more nor less than attacking of villages (with great pains and labour: yea, often with danger to life and limb), and there threshing, grinding, baking, stealing, and taking all that can be found; harrying and spoiling the farmers, and shaming of their maids, their wives, and their daughters. And if the poor peasants did murmur, or were bold enough to rap a forager or two over the fingers, finding them at such work (and at that time were many such guests in Hesse,) they were knocked on the head if they could be caught, or if not, their houses went up in smoke to heaven. Now my master had no wife (for campaigners of his kidney be not wont to take ladies with them), no page, no chamberlain, no cook, but on the other hand a whole troop of grooms and boys which waited both on him and his horse; nor was he himself ashamed to saddle his own horse or give him a feed: he slept ever on straw or on the bare ground, and covered himself with a fur coat. So it came about that one could often see great fleas or lice walk upon his clothes, of which he was not ashamed at all, but would laugh if anyone pocked one out. Short hair he had, but a broad Switzer’s beard, which served his turn well, for he was wont to disguise himself as a peasant and so to go a-spying. Yet though, as I have said, he kept no great household, yet was he by his own folk and others that knew him honoured, loved, and feared. Never were we at rest, but now here, now there: now we attacked and now we were attacked: never for a moment were we idle in damaging the Hessians’ resources: nor on his part did Melander leave us in peace: but cut off many a trooper and sent him prisoner to Cassel. + 

This restless life was not to my liking, and often I did wish myself back in Hanau, yet in vain: my greatest torment was that I could not talk with the men, and must suffer myself to be kicked, plagued, beaten, and driven by each and all: and the chiefest pastime that my colonel had was that I should sing to him in German, and puff my cheeks like the other stable-lads, which ’tis true happened but seldom, yet then I got me such a shower of buffets that the red blood flowed, and I soon had enough. At last I began to do somewhat of cooking, and to keep my master’s weapons clean, whereon he laid great stress: for I was as yet useless for foraging. And this answered so well that in the end I gained my master’s favour, insomuch that he had a new fool’s coat of calfskins made for me, with much greater asses’ ears than I wore before. Now as my master’s palate was not delicate, I needed the less skill for my cookery: yet because I was too often without salt, grease or seasoning, I wearied of this employ also, and therefore devised day and night how I might most cleverly escape⁠—and that the more because ’twas now springtime. So to accomplish this I undertook the work of clearing away the guts of sheep and oxen, with heaps of which our quarters were surrounded, so that they should no longer cause so foul a smell: and this the colonel approved. And being busied with this, I stayed outside altogether, and when it was dark slipped away to the nearest wood. + 