I
How a Goose and a Gander Were Mated
So in my goose-pen I pondered on all that I have set down in black and white in my first part; of which, therefore, there is no need in this place to say more. Yet can I not choose but say that even then I doubted whether the dancers in truth were so mad to stamp the floor down or whether I was only so led to believe. Now will I further relate how I came again out of my goose prison. For three whole hours, namely, till that Praeludium Veneris (I should have said that seemly dance) was ended, I must perforce sit till one came softly and fumbled with the bolt: so I listened as quiet as any mouse, and presently the fellow that was at the door not only opened it but whipped in himself as quick as I would fain have whipped out, and with him by the hand he led in a lady, even as I had seen done at the dancing. I knew not what was to happen: but because I was now accustomed to all such strange adventures as had happened to me, poor fool, on that one day, and had made up my mind to bear with patience and silence whatever my fate might bring me, I crept close to the door and with fear and trembling waited for the end. So presently there was between these two a whispering, whereof I could understand naught save that the one party complained of the evil air of the place, and on the other hand the second party would console the first.
Thereupon I heard kisses and observed strange postures, yet knew not what this should mean, and therefore still kept still as a mouse. Yet when a comical noise arose and the goose-pen, which was but of boards nailed together below the staircase, began to shake and crack, and moreover the lady seemed in trouble, I thought, surely these be two of those mad folk which helped to stamp on the floor, and have now betaken themselves hither to behave in like manner, and bring thee to thy death.
As soon as these thoughts came into my head, I seized upon the door, so to escape death, and out I whipt with a cry of “Murder” as loud as that which had brought me to that place. Yet had I the sense to bolt the door behind me and make for the open house-door.
This was now the first wedding I was ever present at in my life, and even to that I had not been invited: on the other hand, I needed to give no wedding-gift, though the bridegroom did mark up a heavy score against me, which I honourably discharged.
Gentle reader, I tell this story not that thou mayest laugh thereat, but that my History may be complete, and my readers may take to heart what honourable fruits are to be expected from this dancing. For this I hold for certain, that in these dances many a bargain is struck up, whereof the whole company hath cause thereafter to be shamed.