XVI
How Simplicissimus Found Goodly Spoils, and How He Became a Thievish Brother of the Woods
Yet to all appearance my condition grew worse and worse the further I went; yea, so grievous that I conceived I was born but for misfortune: for I was but a few miles distant from the Croats when I was caught by highwaymen, which, without doubt, thought they had captured in me somewhat of value, for by reason of the dark night they could not see my fool’s coat, and forthwith bade two of their number take me to their trysting-place in the forest. So when they had brought me thither, and ’twas still pitch-dark, one fellow would at once have money from me: to which end he laid aside his gauntlets and his firearms and began to search me, asking, “Who art thou? Hast thou money?”
Yet so soon as he was ware of my hairy clothing and the long asses’ ears on my cap, which he took for horns, and at the same time perceived the shining sparks which the hides of beasts do commonly show when they are stroked in the dark, he was so terrified that he shrank into himself. That did I presently mark: so before he could recover himself or devise aught, I stroked down my hide with both hands to such good purpose that it glittered as if I had been stuffed full of burning sulphur, and then I answered him in a terrible voice, “I am the devil, and I will break thy neck and thy fellow’s too.”
Which so terrified both that they fled through the thicket as swiftly as if the fires of hell were pursuing them; yea, though they dashed themselves against sticks and stones and trunks of trees, and yet more often tumbled, they were up again with all speed. So they went on till I could hear them no longer; while I laughed so loud that it echoed through the whole forest, which, without doubt, in that dark wilderness was horrible to hear.
Now when I would be gone I tripped over the musket; and that I took for myself, for already I had learned from the Croats how to manage firearms: then as I walked on I came upon a knapsack which, like my coat, was made of calfskin: that too I took up, and found that a cartridge-pouch, well stored with powder and shot and all appurtenance, hung below it. All this I hung on me, took the musket on my shoulder like a soldier, and hid myself not far off in a thicket, intending to sleep there awhile; but at daybreak came the whole crew to the spot, searching for the musket that was lost and the knapsack: so I pricked up mine ears like a fox and kept still as a mouse; and when they found nothing they mocked at those two that had fled before me. “Shame,” said they, “ye craven fools: shame on your very heart that ye could so suffer yourselves to be frighted and chased, and have your arms taken by a single man.” Yet one fellow swore the devil should take him if ’twere not the devil himself: his horns and his hairy hide he had well perceived; and the other waxed angry and said, “It may have been the devil or his dam, if I had but my knapsack back again.” Then one of them whom I took to be their captain answered him; and says he, “What thinkest thou the devil should do with thy knapsack and thy musket? I would wager my neck the rascal that ye so shamefully let go hath taken both with him.” Yet another took the contrary part, and said it might well happen that some countrymen had since passed that way who had found the things and taken them: and in the end all approved this, and ’twas believed by all the band they had had the devil himself in their hands, especially because the fellow that would search me in the darkness not only swore the same with horrid oaths, but also was able powerfully to describe and to magnify the rough and glittering skin and the two horns as certain signs of the devil’s quality. Nay, I do conceive that had I shown myself again unawares the whole band would have run. So at last, when they had sought long enough and had found nothing, they went on their way again: but I opened the knapsack to make my breakfast thereof, and at the first trial I brought out a pouch in which were some 360 ducats. And that I rejoiced thereat none need question, yet may the reader be assured that the knapsack pleased me yet more than this fine sum of money, since I found it well stored with provisions. And as such yellow-boys are far too sparsely strewn among common soldiers for them to take such with them on a raid, I judge that the fellow must have just snapped up these on that very excursion, and quickly whipped them into his knapsack that he might not be compelled to share them with the rest.
Thereupon I made a cheerful breakfast, and found too a merry little spring, at which I refreshed myself and counted my fine ducats. And if my life depended thereon, to say, in what land or place I then found myself, I could not tell. And first I stayed in the wood as long as my food lasted, with which I dealt right sparingly: then when my knapsack was empty, hunger drove me to the farmers’ houses. And there I crept by night into cellar and kitchen and took what food I found and could carry off; and this I conveyed away to the wildest part of the wood. And so I led a hermit’s life as before, save that I stole much and therefore prayed less, and had, moreover, no fixed abode, but wandered now here, now there. ’Twas well for me indeed that it was now the beginning of summer, though I could kindle a fire with my musket whenever I would.