I + 

How the Huntsman Went Too Far to the Left Hand + 

The gentle reader will have understood by the foregoing book how ambitious I had become in Soest, and that I had sought and found honour, fame, and favour in deeds which in others had deserved punishment. And now will I tell how through my folly I let myself be further led astray, and so lived in constant danger of life and limb; for I was so busied to gain honour and fame that I could not sleep by reason of it, and being full of such fancies, and lying awake many a night to devise new plots and plans, I had many wondrous conceits. In this wise I contrived a kind of shoes that a man could put on hind part before, so that the heel came under his toes: and of these at mine own cost I caused thirty different pairs to be made, and when I had given these out to my fellows and with them went on a foray, ’twas clean impossible to follow our tracks: for now would we wear these, and now again our right shoes on our feet, and the others in our knapsacks. So that if a man came to a place where I had bidden them change shoes, ’twas for all the world, by the tracks, as if two parties had met together there and together had vanished away. But if I kept these new invented shoes on throughout, it seemed as I had gone thither whence in truth I had come, or had come from the place to which I now went. And besides this, my tracks were at all times confused, as in a maze, so that they who should pursue or seek news of me from the footprints could never come at me. Often I was close by a party of the enemy who were minded to seek me far away: and still more often miles away from some thicket which they had surrounded, and were searching in hopes to find me. And as I managed with my parties on foot, so did I also when we were on horseback: for to me ’twas simple enough to dismount at crossroads and forked ways and there have the horses’ shoes set on hind part before. But the common tricks that soldiers use, being weak in numbers, to appear from the tracks to be strong, or being strong to appear weak, these were for me so common and I held them so cheap that I care not to tell of them. Moreover, I devised an instrument wherewith if ’twas calm weather I could by night hear a trumpet blow three hours’ march away, could hear a horse neigh or a dog bark at two hours’ distance, and hear men’s talk at three miles; which art I kept secret, and gained thereby great respect, for it seemed to all incredible. Yet by day was this instrument, which I commonly kept with a perspective-glass in my breeches pouch, not so useful, even though ’twas in a quiet and lonely place: for with it one could not choose but hear every sound made by horses and cattle, yea, the smallest bird in the air and the frog in the water in all the country round, and all this could be as plainly heard as if one were in the midst of a market among men and beasts where all do make such noise that for the crying of one a man cannot understand another. ’Tis true I know well there are folk who to this day will not believe this: but believe it or not, ’tis but the truth. With this instrument I can by night know any man that talks but so loud as his custom is, by his voice, though he be as far from me as where with a good perspective-glass one could by day know him by his clothes. Yet can I blame no one if he believe not what I here write, for none of those would believe me which saw with their own eyes how I used the said instrument, and would say to them, “I hear cavalry, for the horses are shod,” or “I hear peasants coming, for the horses are unshod,” or “I hear wagoners, but ’tis only peasants; for I know them by their talk.” “Here come musketeers, and so many, for I hear the rattling of their bandoliers.” “There is a village near by, for I hear the cocks crow and the dogs bark.” “There goes a herd of cattle; for I hear sheep bleat and cows low and pigs grunt”; and so forth. Mine own comrades at first would hold this but for vain boasting, and when they found that all I said proved true in fact, then all must be witchcraft, and what I said must have been told to me by the devil and his dam. And so I believe will the gentle reader also think. Nevertheless by such means did I often escape the adversary when he had news of me and came to capture me: and I deem that if I had published this discovery ’twould since have become common, for it would be of great service in war and notably in sieges. But I return to my history. + 

If I was not needed for a foray, I would go a-stealing, and then were neither horses, cows, pigs, nor sheep safe from me that I could find for miles round: for I had a contrivance to put boots or shoes on the horses and cattle till I came to a frequented road, where none could trace them: and then I would shoe the horses hind part before, or if ’twas cows and oxen I put shoes on them which to that end I had caused to be made, and so brought them to a safe place. And the big fat swine-gentry, which by reason of laziness care not to travel by night, these I devised a masterly trick to bring away, however much they might grunt and refuse. For I made a savoury brew with meal and water and soaked a sponge in it: this I fastened to a strong cord, and let them for whom I angled swallow that sponge full of the broth, but kept the cord in my hand, whereupon without further parley they went contentedly with me and paid their score with hams and sausages. And all I brought home I faithfully shared both with the officers and my comrades: and so I got leave to fare forth again, and when my thefts were spied upon and betrayed, they helped me finely through. For the rest, I deemed myself far too good to steal from poor men, or rob hen-roosts and filch such small deer. And with all this I began by little and little to lead an epicurish life in regard of eating and drinking: for now I had forgot my hermit’s teaching and had none to guide my youth or to whom I might look up: for my officers shared with me and caroused with me, and they that should have warned and chastised me rather enticed me to all vices. By this means I became so godless and wicked that no villainy was too great for me to compass. But at last I was secretly envied, specially by my comrades, as having a luckier hand at thieving than any other, and also by my officers because I cut such a figure, was lucky in forays, and made for myself a greater name and reputation than they themselves had. In a word, I am well assured one party or the other would have sacrificed me had I not spent so much. + 