A False Alarm + 

When Gertrude Atherton pronounced the ladies + 

Of fair Manhattan hideous as Hades⁠— + 

In eyes no splendor, and in cheeks no roses, + 

And, O ye godlings! rudimentary noses⁠— + 

To pass a bad half-hour before their glasses, + 

Straight to their dressing-rooms ran dames and lasses, + 

Who, still dissenting from her curst appraisal, + 

Grew more pugnacious, but not less pugnasal. + 

Ladies, be calm: there’s nothing to distress you⁠— + 

The Sacred Englishman will rise and bless you. + 

No noses⁠—none to speak of⁠—is alarming, + 

But that you can’t speak through them⁠—that is charming! + 