By False Pretenses + 

John S. Hittell, whose sovereign genius wields + 

The quill his tributary body yields; + 

The author of an opera⁠—that is, + 

All but the music and libretto’s his: + 

A work renowned, whose formidable name, + 

Linked with his own, repels the assault of fame + 

From the high vantage of a dusty shelf, + 

Secure from all the world except himself;⁠— + 

Who told the tale of “Culture” in a screed + 

That all might understand if all would read;⁠— + 

Master of poesy and lord of prose, + 

Dowered, like a setter, with a double nose; + 

That one for Erato, for Clio this; + 

He flushes both⁠—not his fault if we miss;⁠— + 

Judge of the painter’s art, who’ll straight proclaim + 

The hue of any color you can name, + 

And knows a painting with a canvas back + 

Distinguished from a duck by the duck’s quack;⁠— + 

This thinker and philosopher, whose work + 

Is famous from Commercial street to Turk, + 

Has now a fortune, of his pen the meed. + 

A woman left it him who could not read, + 

And so went down to death’s eternal night + 

Sweetly unconscious that the wretch could write. + 