The Jack of Clubs + 

Jerome, you are a mighty famous man⁠— + 

District Attorney, I believe they call you. + 

Some shout your praise as loudly as they can, + 

And some, apparently, just live to maul you. + 

But whether good or ill repute befall you, + 

Your critics can’t deny that, as a rule, + 

You take it standing⁠—though the wits among + 

Them say you stand, as does the singing mule, + 

The better to perform your feats of lung. + 

And, truly from the dawning to the gloaming, + 

When in good voice, you’re usually Jeroming. + 

O, well, we must have music⁠—’tis a need, + 

Like Ibsen, Shaw or the “Edenic diet”; + 

Though sometimes silence is desired⁠—indeed, + 

There’s much that may be said in praise of quiet, + 

And possibly you might do worse than try it. + 

’Twere better, anyhow, than fool advice + 

To the police to club their fellow men, + 

Too sore already. Sir, it is not nice + 

To free your snouty virtues from the pen⁠— + 

Unless, as once in Gadara, they’ll scamper + 

Down a steep place to where ’tis greatly damper. + 

Jerome, the best of us are those who care + 

To hide from view the monsters that inhabit + 

Our hearts, and when too closely questioned swear + 

We’ve nothing fiercer than a sheep or rabbit. + 

Seeing an opportunity, you grab it + 

And lifting up the curtain, show the whole + 

Menagerie of thoughts and feelings which + 

Infest the secret places of your soul + 

Like newts and water-puppies in a ditch. + 

O, great reformer! hide from observation + 

The unpleasing spectacle of Reformation. + 