The Shafter Shafted + 

Well, James McMillan Shafter, you’re a Judge⁠— + 

At least you were when last I knew of you; + 

And if the people since have made you budge + 

I did not notice it. I’ve much to do + 

Without endeavoring to follow, through + 

The miserable squabbles, dust and smudge, + 

The fate of all political contenders + 

Who fight with flying colors and suspenders. + 

Being a Judge, ’tis natural and wrong + 

That you should vilify the public press⁠— + 

Save while you are a candidate. That song + 

Is easy quite to sing, and I confess + 

It wins applause from hearers who have less + 

Of spiritual graces than belong + 

To audiences of another kidney⁠— + 

Men, for example, like Sir Philip Sidney. + 

Newspapers, so you say, don’t always treat + 

The Judges with respect. That may be so + 

And still no harm done, for I swear I’ll eat + 

My legs and in the long hereafter go, + 

Snake-like, upon my belly if you’ll show + 

All Judges are respectable and sweet. + 

For some of them are rogues and the Lord’s laughter’s + 

Directed at some others, for they’re Shafters. + 