A Rational Anthem + 

My country, ’tis of thee, + 

Sweet land of felony, + 

Of thee I sing⁠— + 

Land where my fathers fried + 

Young witches and applied + 

Whips to the Quaker’s hide + 

And made him spring. + 

My knavish country, thee, + 

Land where the thief is free, + 

Thy laws I love; + 

I love thy thieving bills + 

That tap the people’s tills; + 

I love thy mob whose will’s + 

All laws above. + 

Let Federal employees + 

And rings rob all they please, + 

The whole year long. + 

Let office-holders make + 

Their piles and judges rake + 

Our coin. For Jesus’ sake, + 

Let’s all go wrong! + 