At the White House + 

Among the notables one day that came + 

To see the President was one whose name + 

Was known from Puerto Rico to Luzon, + 

Although it wasn’t Smith nor even John. + 

Renowned in field and council too, for he + 

Had tilled the soil and been a school trustee. + 

Occasionally, just to pass the time, + 

He worked at patriotism and scowled at crime; + 

Went up and down the land denouncing those + 

Who loved him little as the country’s foes; + 

Predicted famine when they scorned his story, + 

And for the ensuing harvest claimed the glory. + 

His name indeed was famous, but because + 

My memory’s weak I know not what it was. + 

The President he came that day to see + 

Was as illustrious in his way as he. + 

His name a household word⁠—that is to say + 

Men damned him roundly to begin the day, + 

Deplored him in the fireside’s rosy light + 

And grunted disesteem throughout the night. + 

Not all men⁠—some, the sons of pious mothers, + 

Prayed for him daily as upon him others. + 

Sleek, snug, self-righteous, cunning as a rat, + 

A fish in fervor and in faith a cat, + 

Obscure by nature, he had ne’er been great + 

If Fortune had not kicked him into state. + 

His name? Go ask Posterity, not me⁠— + 

From words opprobrious my page is free. + 

So they were married⁠—no I mean they met; + 

For aught I know they are in session yet, + 

There in the White House, for each swore the place + 

Belonged to him by God’s abounding grace. + 

But, O, may He take measures to prevent + 

If both at once they would be President. + 