I
Nell went to see Mrs.┬аCurtis, the Red Cross Commandant. Mrs.┬аCurtis was benign and affable. She was enjoying her importance and was convinced that she was a born organizer. Actually, she was a very bad one. But everyone said she had a wonderful manner. She condescended graciously to Nell.
тАЬLet me see, Mrs.тБатАФah! Deyre. YouтАЩve got your V.A.D. and nursing certificates?тАЭ
тАЬYes.тАЭ
тАЬBut you donтАЩt belong to any of the local detachments?тАЭ
NellтАЩs exact standing was discussed at some length.
тАЬWell, we must see what we can do for you,тАЭ said Mrs.┬аCurtis. тАЬThe hospital is fully staffed at present, but of course they are always falling out. Two days after the first convoy came in, we had seventeen resignations. All women of a certain age. They didnтАЩt like the way the Sisters spoke to them. I myself think the Sisters were perhaps a little unnecessarily brutal, but of course thereтАЩs a great deal of jealousy of the Red Cross. And these were all well-to-do women who didnтАЩt like being тАШspoken to.тАЩ You are not sensitive in that way, Mrs.┬аDeyre?тАЭ
Nell said that she didnтАЩt mind anything.
тАЬThat is the spirit,тАЭ said Mrs.┬аCurtis approvingly. тАЬI myself,тАЭ she continued, тАЬconsider it in the light of good discipline. And where should we all be without discipline?тАЭ
It shot through NellтАЩs mind that Mrs.┬аCurtis had not had to endure any discipline, which robbed her pronouncement of some of its impressiveness. But she continued to stand there looking attentive and impressed.
тАЬI have a list of girls on the reserve,тАЭ continued Mrs.┬аCurtis. тАЬI will add your name. Two days a week you will attend at the Out Patient Ward at the Town Hospital, and thereby gain a little experience. They are short-handed there and are willing to accept our help. Then you and MissтБатАФтАЭ she consulted a listтБатАФтАЬI think Miss CardnerтБатАФyes, Miss CardnerтБатАФwill go with the district nurse on her rounds on Tuesdays and Fridays. YouтАЩve got your uniform, of course? Then that is all right.тАЭ
Mary Cardner was a pleasant plump girl whose father was a retired butcher. She was very friendly to Nell, explained that the days were Wednesday and Saturday and not Tuesday and Friday, тАЬbut old Curtis always gets something wrong,тАЭ that the district nurse was a dear and never jumped on you, and that Sister Margaret at the hospital was a holy terror.
On the following Wednesday Nell did her first round with the district nurse, a little bustling woman very much overworked. At the end of the day she patted Nell kindly on the shoulder.
тАЬIтАЩm glad to see you have a head on your shoulders, my dear. Really some of the girls who come seem to me half-wittedтБатАФthey do indeed. And such fine ladies, you wouldnтАЩt believeтБатАФNot by birthтБатАФI donтАЩt mean that. But half-educated girls who think nursing is all smoothing a pillow and feeding the patient with grapes. YouтАЩll know your way about in no time.тАЭ
Heartened by this, Nell presented herself at the Out Patient Department at the given time without too much trepidation. She was received by a tall gaunt Sister with a malevolent eye.
тАЬAnother raw beginner,тАЭ she grumbled. тАЬMrs.┬аCurtis sent you, I suppose? IтАЩm sick of that woman. Takes me more time and trouble teaching silly girls who think they know everything than it would to do everything myself.тАЭ
тАЬIтАЩm sorry,тАЭ said Nell meekly.
тАЬGet a couple of certificates, attend a dozen lectures and think you know everything,тАЭ said Sister Margaret bitterly. тАЬHere they come. DonтАЩt get in my way more than you can help.тАЭ
A typical batch of patients were assembled: a young boy with legs riddled with ulcers, a child with scalded legs from an overturned kettle, a girl with a needle in her finger, various sufferers with тАЬbad ears,тАЭ тАЬbad legs,тАЭ тАЬbad arms.тАЭ
Sister Margaret said sharply to Nell: тАЬKnow how to syringe an ear? I thought not. Watch me.тАЭ
Nell watched.
тАЬYou can do it next time,тАЭ said Sister Margaret. тАЬGet the bandage off that boyтАЩs finger, and let him soak it in hot boracic water till IтАЩm ready for him.тАЭ
Nell felt nervous and clumsy. Sister Margaret was paralysing her. Almost immediately, it seemed, Sister was by her side.
тАЬWe havenтАЩt got all day here to do things in,тАЭ she remarked. тАЬHere, leave it to me. You seem to be all thumbs. Soak the bandages off that kidтАЩs legs. Tepid water.тАЭ
Nell got a basin of tepid water and knelt down before the child, a mere mite of three. She was badly burnt, and the bandages had stuck to the tiny legs. Nell sponged and soaked very gently, but the baby screamed. It was a loud long-drawn yell of terror and agony, and it defeated Nell utterly.
She felt suddenly sick and faint. She couldnтАЩt do this workтБатАФshe simply couldnтАЩt do it. She drew back, and as she did so she glanced up to find Sister Margaret watching her, a gleam of malicious pleasure showing in her eye.
тАЬI thought you couldnтАЩt stick it,тАЭ that eye said.
It rallied Nell as nothing else would have done. She bent her head, and setting her teeth, went on with her job, trying to avert her mind from the childтАЩs shrieks. It was done at last, and Nell stood up, white and trembling and feeling deathly sick.
Sister Margaret came along. She seemed disappointed.
тАЬOh, youтАЩve done it,тАЭ she said. She spoke to the childтАЩs mother. тАЬIтАЩd be a bit more careful how you let the child get at the kettle in future, Mrs.┬аSomers,тАЭ she said.
Mrs.┬аSomers complained that you couldnтАЩt be everywhere at once.
Nell was ordered off to foment a poisoned finger. Next, she assisted Sister to syringe the ulcerated leg, and after that stood by while a young doctor extracted the needle from the girlтАЩs finger. As he probed and cut, the girl winced and shrank and he spoke to her sharply.
тАЬKeep quiet, canтАЩt you?тАЭ
Nell thought: тАЬOne never sees this side of things. One is only used to a doctor with a bedside manner. IтАЩm afraid this will hurt a little. Be as still as you can.тАЭ
The young doctor proceeded to extract a couple of teeth, flinging them carelessly on the floor, then he treated a smashed hand that had just come in from an accident.
It was not, Nell reflected, that he was unskillful. It was the absence of manner that was so disturbing to oneтАЩs preconceived ideas. Whatever he did, Sister Margaret accompanied him, tittering in a sycophantic manner at any joke he was pleased to make. Of Nell he took no notice.
At last the hour was over. Nell was thankful. She said goodbye timidly to Sister Margaret.
тАЬLike it?тАЭ asked Sister with a demoniac grin.
тАЬIтАЩm afraid IтАЩm very stupid,тАЭ said Nell.
тАЬHow can you be anything else?тАЭ said Sister Margaret. тАЬA lot of amateurs like you Red Cross people. And thinking you know everything on earth. Well, perhaps, youтАЩll be a little less clumsy next time!тАЭ
Such was NellтАЩs encouraging d├йbut at the hospital.
It grew less terrible as time went on, however. Sister Margaret softened, and relaxed her attitude of fierce defensiveness. She even permitted herself to answer questions.
тАЬYouтАЩre not so stuck up as most,тАЭ she allowed graciously.
Nell, in her turn, was impressed by the enormous amount of competent work Sister Margaret managed to put in in a very short time. And she understood a little her soreness on the subject of amateurs.
What struck Nell most was the enormous number of тАЬbad legsтАЭ and their prototypes, most of them evidently old friends. She asked Sister Margaret timidly about them.
тАЬNothing much to be done about it,тАЭ Sister Margaret replied. тАЬHereditary, most of them. Bad blood. You canтАЩt cure it.тАЭ
Another thing that impressed Nell was the uncomplaining heroism of the poor. They came and were treated, suffered great pain, and went off to walk several miles home without a thought.
She saw it too in their homes. She and Mary Cardner had taken over a certain amount of the district nurseтАЩs round. They washed bedridden old women, tended тАЬbad legs,тАЭ occasionally washed and tended babies whose mothers were too ill to do anything. The cottages were small, the windows usually hermetically sealed, and the place littered with treasures dear to the hearts of the owners. The stuffiness was often unbearable.
The worst shock was about two weeks after beginning work, when they found a bedridden old man dead in his bed and had to lay him out. But for Mary CardnerтАЩs matter-of-fact cheerfulness, Nell felt she could not have done it.
The district nurse praised them.
тАЬYouтАЩre good girls. And youтАЩre being a real help.тАЭ
They went home glowing with satisfaction. Never in her life had Nell so appreciated a hot bath and a lavish allowance of bath salts.
She had had two postcards from Vernon. Mere scrawls saying he was all right and everything was splendid. She wrote to him every day describing her adventures, trying to make them sound as amusing as possible. He wrote back:
IтАЩm all right. Feeling splendidly fit. ItтАЩs all a great adventure, but I do long to see you. I do wish you wouldnтАЩt go into these beastly cottages and places and mess about with diseased people. IтАЩm sure youтАЩll catch something. Why you want to, I canтАЩt think. IтАЩm sure it isnтАЩt necessary. Do give it up.
We think mostly about our food out here, and the Tommies think of nothing but their tea. TheyтАЩll risk being blown to bits any time for a cup of hot tea. I have to censor their letters. One man always ends тАЬYours till hell freezes,тАЭ so IтАЩll say the same.
One morning Nell received a telephone call from Mrs.┬аCurtis.
тАЬThere is a vacancy for a ward maid, Mrs.┬аDeyre. Afternoon duty. Be at the hospital at two-thirty.тАЭ
The Town Hall of Wiltsbury had been turned into a hospital. It was a big new building standing in the cathedral square and overshadowed by the tall spire of the cathedral. A handsome being in uniform with a game leg and medals received her kindly at the front entrance.
тАЬYouтАЩve come to the wrong door, Missie. Staff through the quartermasterтАЩs stores. Here, the scout will show you the way.тАЭ
A diminutive scout conducted her down steps, through a kind of gloomy crypt where an elderly lady in Red Cross uniform sat surrounded with bales of hospital shirtsтБатАФwearing several shawls and shivering a good dealтБатАФthen along stoneflagged passages, and finally into a gloomy underground chamber where she was received by Miss Curtain, the chief of the ward maids, a tall thin lady with a face like a dreaming duchess and charming gentle manners.
Nell was instructed in her duties, which were simple enough to understand. They entailed hard work, but no difficulty. A certain area of stone passages and steps to scrub. Then the nursesтАЩ tea to lay, wait on, and finally clear away. Then the ward maids had their own tea. Then the same routine for supper.
Nell soon got the hang of things. The salient points of the new life were: one, war with the kitchen; two, the difficulty of providing the Sisters with the right kind of tea.
There was a long table where the V.A.D. nurses sat, pouring down in a stream, frantically hungry, and always the food seemed to fail before the last three were seated. You then applied to the kitchen through a tube and got a biting rejoinder. The right amount of bread and butter had been sent up, three pieces for each. Somebody must have eaten more than their share. Loud disclaimers from the V.A.D.тАЩs. They chatted to each other amiably and freely, addressing each other by their surnames.
тАЬI didnтАЩt eat your slice of bread, Jones. I wouldnтАЩt do such a mean thing!тАЭ тАЬThey always send it up wrong.тАЭ тАЬLook here, CatfordтАЩs got to have something to eat. SheтАЩs got an op in half an hour.тАЭ тАЬHurry up, Bulgy [an affectionate nickname, this]. WeтАЩve got all those mackintoshes to scrub.тАЭ
Very different the behaviour at the SistersтАЩ table at the other side of the room. Conversation there went on genteelly in frosty whispers. Before each Sister was a small brown pot of tea. It was NellтАЩs business to know exactly how strong each Sister liked it. It was never a question of how weak! To bring тАЬwashyтАЭ tea to a Sister was to fall from grace forever.
The whispers went on incessantly.
тАЬI said to her: тАШNaturally the surgical cases receive the first attention.тАЩтАКтАЭ тАЬI only passed the remark, so to speak.тАЭ тАЬPushing herself forward. Always the same thing.тАЭ тАЬWould you believe it, she forgot to hold the towel for the doctorтАЩs hands.тАЭ тАЬI said to Doctor this morningтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ тАЬI passed the remark to NurseтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ
Again and again that one phrase recurred. тАЬI passed the remark.тАЭ Nell grew to listen for it. When she approached the table, the whispers became lower and the Sisters looked at her suspiciously. Their conversation was secretive and shrouded in dignity. With enormous formality, they offered each other tea.
тАЬSome of mine, Sister Westhaven? ThereтАЩs plenty in the pot.тАЭ тАЬWould you oblige me with the sugar, Sister Carr?тАЭ тАЬPardon me.тАЭ
Nell had just begun to realize the hospital atmosphere, the feuds, the jealousies, the cabals, and the hundred and one undercurrents, when she was promoted to the ward, one of the nurses having gone sick.
She had a row of twelve beds to attend to, mostly surgical cases. Her companion was Gladys Potts, a small giggling creature, intelligent but lazy. The ward was under the charge of Sister Westhaven, a tall thin acid woman with a look of permanent disapproval. NellтАЩs heart sank when she saw her, but later she congratulated herself. Sister Westhaven was far the pleasantest nurse in the hospital to work under.
There were five Sisters in all. Sister Carr, round and good-tempered looking. The men liked her and she giggled and joked with them a good deal, and was then late over her dressings and hurried over them. She called the V.A.D.тАЩs тАЬdear,тАЭ and patted them affectionately but her temper was uncertain. She herself was so unpunctual that everything went wrong and the тАЬdearтАЭ was blamed for it. She was maddening to work under.
Sister Barnes was impossible. Everyone said so. She ranted and scolded from morning to night. She hated V.A.D.тАЩs and let them know it. тАЬIтАЩll teach them to come here thinking they know everything,тАЭ was her constant declaration. Apart from her biting sarcasm, she was a good nurse, and some of the girls liked working under her in spite of her lashing tongue.
Sister Dunlop was a dugout. She was kindly and placid, but thoroughly lazy. She drank a great deal of tea and did as little work as possible.
Sister Norris was Theatre Sister. She was competent at her job, rouged her lips and was cattish to her underlings.
Sister Westhaven was by far the best nurse in the hospital. She was enthusiastic over work and was a good judge of those under her. If they showed promise she was reasonably amiable to them. If she judged them fools they led a miserable life.
On the fourth day, she said to Nell: тАЬI thought you werenтАЩt worth much at first, Nurse. But youтАЩve got a good lot of work in you.тАЭ
So much imbued by now was Nell by the hospital spirit that she went home in the seventh heaven.
Little by little she sank into the hospital rut. At first she had suffered a heartrending pang at the sight of the wounded. The first dressing of wounds at which she assisted was almost more than she could bear. Those who тАЬlonged to nurseтАЭ usually brought a certain amount of emotionalism to the task. But they were soon purged of it. Blood, wounds, suffering were everyday matters.
Nell was popular with the men. In the slack hour after tea she wrote letters for them, fetched books she thought they would like from the shelves at the end of the ward, heard stories of their families and sweethearts. She became, in common with the other nurses, zealous to defend them from the cruelties and stupidities of the would-be kind.
On visitorsтАЩ days streams of elderly ladies arrived. They sat down by beds and did their best to тАЬcheer our brave soldier.тАЭ Certain things were conventions. тАЬYouтАЩre longing to get back, I suppose?тАЭ And тАЬYes, maтАЩam,тАЭ was always the answer given. Descriptions were sought of the Angels at Mons.
There were also concerts. Some were well organized and were thoroughly enjoyed. OthersтБатАФ! They were summed up by the nurse on the next row to Nell, Phillis Deacon:
тАЬAnybody who thinks they can sing, but has never been allowed to by their families, has got their chance now!тАЭ
There were also clergymen. Never, Nell thought, had she seen so many clergymen. One or two were appreciated. They were fine men, with sympathy and understanding, and they knew the right things to say and did not stress the religious side of their duties unduly. But there were many others.
тАЬNurse.тАЭ
Nell paused in a hurried progress along the ward, having just been told sharply by Sister: тАЬNurse, your beds are crooked. No.┬а7тАЩs sticking out.тАЭ
тАЬYes.тАЭ
тАЬCouldnтАЩt you wash me now, Nurse?тАЭ
Nell stared at the unusual request.
тАЬItтАЩs not nearly half-past seven.тАЭ
тАЬItтАЩs the parson. HeтАЩs at me to be confirmed. HeтАЩs coming in now.тАЭ
Nell took pity on him. The Reverend Canon Edgerton found his prospective convert barred from him by screens and basins of water.
тАЬThank yer, Nurse,тАЭ said the patient hoarsely. тАЬIt seems a bit hard to go on nagging at a feller when he canтАЩt get away from yer, doesnтАЩt it?тАЭ
WashingтБатАФinterminable washing. The patients were washed, the ward was washed, and at every hour of the day there were mackintoshes to scrub.
And eternal tidiness.
тАЬNurseтБатАФyour beds. The bedclothes are hanging down on No.┬а9. No.┬а2 has pushed his bed sideways. What will Doctor think?тАЭ
DoctorтБатАФDoctorтБатАФDoctor. Morning, noon, and night, Doctor! Doctor was a god. For a mere V.A.D. to speak to Doctor was l├иse-majest├й and brought down the vials of wrath on your head from Sister. Some of the V.A.D.тАЩs offended innocently. They were Wiltsbury girls and they knew the doctorsтБатАФknew them as ordinary human beings. They said good morning blithely. Soon they knew betterтБатАФknew they had been guilty of that awful sin, тАЬpushing yourself forward.тАЭ Mary Cardner тАЬpushed herself forward.тАЭ Doctor asked for some scissors and unthinkingly, she handed him the pair she wore. Sister explained her crime to her at length. She ended thus:
тАЬI donтАЩt say you mightnтАЩt have done this. Seeing you had the exact thing that was wanted, you might have said to meтБатАФin a whisper, that isтБатАФтАШIs this what is needed, Sister?тАЩ And I would have taken them from you and handed them to Doctor. No one could have objected to that.тАЭ
You got tired of the word тАЬDoctor.тАЭ Every remark Sister made was punctuated with it, even when speaking to him.
тАЬYes, DoctorтБатАКтБатАж 102 this morning, Doctor.тБатАКтБатАж I donтАЩt think so, Doctor.тБатАКтБатАж Pardon, Doctor? I didnтАЩt quite catch.тБатАКтБатАж Nurse, hold the towel for DoctorтАЩs hands.тАЭ
And you held the towel meekly, standing like a glorified towel horse. And Doctor, having wiped his sacred hands, flung the towel on the floor where you meekly picked it up. You poured water for Doctor, you handed soap to Doctor, and finally you received the command:
тАЬNurse, open the door for Doctor.тАЭ
тАЬAnd what IтАЩm afraid is, we shanтАЩt be able to grow out of it afterwards,тАЭ said Phillis Deacon wrathfully. тАЬI shall never feel the same about doctors again. Even the scrubbiest little doctors I shall be subservient to, and when they come to dine I shall find myself rushing to open the door for them. I know I shall.тАЭ
There was a great freemasonry in the hospital. Class distinctions were a thing of the past. The deanтАЩs daughter, the butcherтАЩs daughter, Mrs.┬аManfred who was the wife of a draperтАЩs assistant, Phillis Deacon who was the daughter of a baronetтБатАФthey all called each other by their surnames and shared the common interest of тАЬWhat would there be for supper, and would it go round?тАЭ Undoubtedly there was cheating. Gladys Potts, the giggler, was discovered to go down early and surreptitiously to filch an extra piece of bread and butter or an unfair helping of rice.
тАЬYou know,тАЭ said Phillis Deacon, тАЬI do sympathize with servants now. One always thinks they mind so much about their foodтБатАФand here are we getting just the same. ItтАЩs having nothing else to look forward to. I could have cried when the scrambled eggs didnтАЩt go round last night.тАЭ
тАЬThey oughtnтАЩt to have scrambled eggs,тАЭ said Mary Cardner angrily. тАЬThe eggs ought to be separate, poached or boiled. Scrambled gives too much opportunity to unscrupulous people.тАЭ
And she looked with significance at Gladys Potts, who giggled nervously and moved away.
тАЬThat girlтАЩs a slacker,тАЭ said Phillis Deacon. тАЬSheтАЩs always got something else to do when itтАЩs screens. And she sucks up to Sister. It doesnтАЩt matter with Westhaven. WesthavenтАЩs fair. But she flattered little Carr till she got all the soft jobs.тАЭ
Little Potts was unpopular. Strenuous efforts were made to force her to do the more disagreeable work sometimes, but Potts was wily. Only the resourceful Deacon was a match for her.
There were also the jealousies amongst the doctors themselves. Naturally they all wanted the more interesting surgical cases. The allotting of cases to different wards gave rise to feeling.
Nell soon knew all the doctors and their various attributes. There was Dr.┬аLang, tall, untidy, slouching, with long nervous fingers. He was the cleverest surgeon of the lot. He had a sarcastic tongue, and was ruthless in his treatments but he was clever. All the Sisters adored him.
Then there was Dr.┬аWilbraham who had the fashionable practice of Wiltsbury. A big florid man, genial in temper when things went well, and the manners of a spoilt child when he was put out. If he was tired and cross he was unnecessarily rough and Nell hated him.
There was Dr.┬аMeadows, a quiet efficient G.P. He was content not to do operations and he gave every case unfailing attention. He always spoke politely to the V.A.D.тАЩs and omitted to throw towels on the floor.
Then there was Dr.┬аBury who was not supposed to be much good and who was himself convinced that he knew everything. He was always wishing to try extraordinary new methods and he never continued one treatment for more than a couple of days. If one of his patients died, it was the fashion to say: тАЬDo you wonder, with Dr.┬аBury?тАЭ
Then there was young Dr.┬аKeen, who had been invalided home from the front. He was little more than a medical student, but he was full of importance. He even demeaned himself to chat with the V.A.D.тАЩs, explaining the importance of an operation that had just taken place. Nell said to Sister Westhaven: тАЬI didnтАЩt know Dr.┬аKeen was operating. I thought it was Dr.┬аLang.тАЭ Sister replied grimly: тАЬDr.┬аKeen held the leg. ThatтАЩs all.тАЭ
Operations had been a nightmare to Nell at first. At the first one she attended, the floor rose at her, and a nurse led her out. She hardly dared to face Sister, but Sister was unexpectedly kind.
тАЬItтАЩs partly the lack of air and the smell of the ether, Nurse,тАЭ she said kindly. тАЬGo into a short one next. YouтАЩll get used to it.тАЭ
Next time Nell felt faint, but did not have to go out, the time after she felt sick only, and the time after that she didnтАЩt feel sick at all.
Once or twice she was lent to help the theatre nurse clear up the operating theatre after an unusually big op. The place was like a shambles, blood everywhere. The theatre nurse was only eighteen, a determined slip of a thing. She owned to Nell that she had hated it at first.
тАЬThe very first op was a leg,тАЭ she said. тАЬAmputation. And Sister went off afterwards and left me to clear up, and I had to take the leg down to the furnace myself. It was awful.тАЭ
On her days out Nell went to tea with friends. Some of them were kindly old ladies and sentimentalized over her and told her she was splendid.
тАЬYou donтАЩt work on Sundays, do you, dear? Really? Oh! but that isnтАЩt right. Sunday should be a day of rest.тАЭ
Nell pointed out gently that the soldiers had to be washed and fed on Sundays just as much as any other day, and the old ladies admitted this but seemed to think that the matter should have been better organized. They were also very distressed at NellтАЩs having to walk home alone at midnight.
Others were even more difficult.
тАЬI hear these hospital nurses give themselves great airs, ordering everyone about. I shouldnтАЩt stand that kind of thing myself. I am willing to do anything I can to help in this dreadful war, but impertinence I will not stand. I told Mrs.┬аCurtis so, and she agreed it would be better for me not to do hospital work.тАЭ
To these ladies Nell made no reply at all.
The rumour of тАЬthe RussiansтАЭ was sweeping through England at this time. Everyone had seen themтБатАФor if not actually seen them, their cookтАЩs second cousin had, which was practically the same thing. The rumour died hardтБатАФit was so pleasing and so exciting.
A very old lady who came to the hospital took Nell aside.
тАЬMy dear,тАЭ she said, тАЬdonтАЩt believe that story. ItтАЩs true, but not in the way we think.тАЭ
Nell looked inquiringly at her.
тАЬEggs!тАЭ said the old lady in a poignant whisper. тАЬRussian eggs! Several millions of themтБатАФto keep us from starving.тАЭ
Nell wrote all these things to Vernon. She felt terribly cut off from him. His letters were naturally terse and constrained and he seemed to dislike the idea of her working in hospital. He urged her again and again to go to LondonтБатАФenjoy herselfтБатАКтБатАж
How queer men were, Nell thought. They didnтАЩt seem to understand. She would hate to be one of the тАЬkeeping themselves bright for the boysтАЭ brigade. How soon you drifted apart when you were doing different things! She couldnтАЩt share VernonтАЩs life and he couldnтАЩt share hers.
The first agony of parting, when she had felt sure he would be killed, was over. She had fallen into the routine of wives. Four months had passed and he hadnтАЩt been even wounded. He wouldnтАЩt be. Everything was all right.
Five months after he had gone out he wired that he had got leave. NellтАЩs heart almost stopped beating. She was so excited! She went off to Matron and was granted leave of absence.
She travelled to London feeling strange and unusual in ordinary clothes. Their first leave!