I
Carey Lodge was the name of MyraтАЩs house. It was about eight miles from Birmingham.
A subtle depression always weighed down VernonтАЩs spirits as he got near Carey Lodge. He hated the house, hated its solid comfort, its thick bright red carpets, its lounge hall, the carefully selected sporting prints that hung in the dining-room, the superabundance of knickknacks that filled the drawing-room. And yet, was it so much those things he hated as the facts that stood behind them?
He questioned himself, trying for the first time to be honest with himself. WasnтАЩt it the truth that he hated his mother being so at home there, so placidly content? He liked to think of her in terms of Abbots PuissantsтБатАФliked to think of her as being, like himself, an exile.
And she wasnтАЩt! Abbots Puissants had been to her what a foreign kingdom might be to a Queen Consort. She had felt important there, and pleased with herself. It had been new and exciting. But it hadnтАЩt been home.
Myra greeted her son with extravagant affection as always. He wished she wouldnтАЩt. In some way it made it harder than ever for him to respond. When he was away from her, he pictured himself being affectionate to his mother. When he was with her, all that illusion faded away.
Myra Deyre had altered a good deal since leaving Abbots Puissants. She had grown much stouter. Her beautiful golden-red hair was flecked with grey. The expression of her face was different, it was at once more satisfied and more placid. There was now a strong resemblance between her and her brother Sydney.
тАЬYouтАЩve had a good time in London? IтАЩm so glad. ItтАЩs so exciting to have my fine big son back with meтБатАФIтАЩve been telling everybody how excited I am. Mothers are foolish creatures, arenтАЩt they?тАЭ
Vernon thought they were ratherтБатАФthen was ashamed of himself.
тАЬVery jolly to see you, Mother,тАЭ he mumbled.
Joe said: тАЬYouтАЩre looking splendidly fit, Aunt Myra.тАЭ
тАЬIтАЩve not really been very well, dear. I donтАЩt think Dr.┬аGrey quite understands my case. I hear thereтАЩs a new doctorтБатАФDr.┬аLittleworthтБатАФjust bought Dr.┬аArmstrongтАЩs practice. They say he is wonderfully clever. IтАЩm sure itтАЩs my heartтБатАФand itтАЩs all nonsense Dr.┬аGrey saying itтАЩs indigestion.тАЭ
She was quite animated. Her health was always an absorbing topic to Myra.
тАЬMaryтАЩs goneтБатАФthe housemaid, you know. I was really very disappointed in that girl. After all I did for her.тАЭ
It went on and on. Joe and Vernon listened perfunctorily. Their minds were full of conscious superiority. Thank Heaven they belonged to a new and enlightened generation, far above this insistence on domestic details. For them, a new and splendid world opened out. They were deeply, poignantly sorry for the contented creature who sat there chattering to them.
Joe thought: тАЬPoorтБатАФpoor Aunt Myra. So terribly female! Of course Uncle Walter got bored with her. Not her fault! A rotten education, and brought up to believe that domesticity was all that mattered. And here she is, still young reallyтБатАФat least not too terribly oldтБатАФand all sheтАЩs got to do is to sit in the house and gossip, and think about servants, and fuss about her health. If sheтАЩd only been born twenty years later, she could have been happy and free and independent all her life.тАЭ
And out of her intense pity for her unconscious aunt she answered gently and pretended an interest that she certainly did not feel.
Vernon thought: тАЬWas Mother always like this? Somehow she didnтАЩt seem so at Abbots Puissants. Or was I too much of a kid to notice? ItтАЩs rotten of me to criticize her when sheтАЩs been so good to me always. Only I wish she wouldnтАЩt treat me still as though I were about six years old. Oh, well, I suppose she canтАЩt help it. I donтАЩt think I shall ever marry.тАЭ
And suddenly he jerked out abruptly, urged thereto by intense nervousness.
тАЬI say, Mother. IтАЩm thinking of taking music at Cambridge.тАЭ
There, it was out! He had said it.
Myra, distracted from her account of the ArmstrongsтАЩ cook, said vaguely:
тАЬBut, darling, you always were so unmusical. You used to be quite unreasonable about it.тАЭ
тАЬI know,тАЭ said Vernon gruffly. тАЬBut one changes oneтАЩs mind about things sometimes.тАЭ
тАЬWell, IтАЩm very glad, dear. I used to play quite brilliant pieces myself when I was a young girl. But one never keeps up anything when one marries.тАЭ
тАЬI know. ItтАЩs a wicked shame,тАЭ said Joe hotly. тАЬI donтАЩt mean to marryтБатАФbut if I did, IтАЩd never give up my own career. And that reminds me, Aunt Myra, IтАЩve just got to go to London to study if IтАЩm ever going to be any good at modelling.тАЭ
тАЬIтАЩm sure Mr.┬аBradfordтБатАФтАЭ
тАЬOh, damn Mr.┬аBradford! IтАЩm sorry, Aunt Myra, but you donтАЩt understand. IтАЩve got to studyтБатАФhard. And I must be on my own. I could share diggings with another girlтБатАФтАЭ
тАЬJoe, darling, donтАЩt be so absurd.тАЭ Myra laughed. тАЬI need my little Joe here. I always look on you as my daughter, you know, Joe, dear.тАЭ
Joe wriggled.
тАЬI really am in earnest, Aunt Myra. ItтАЩs my whole life.тАЭ
This tragic utterance only made her aunt laugh more.
тАЬGirls often think like that. Now donтАЩt letтАЩs spoil this happy evening by quarrelling.тАЭ
тАЬBut will you really seriously consider it?тАЭ
тАЬWe must see what Uncle Sydney says.тАЭ
тАЬItтАЩs nothing to do with him. HeтАЩs not my uncle. Surely, if I like, I can take my own money.тАЭ
тАЬIt isnтАЩt exactly your own money, Joe. Your father sends it to me as an allowance for youтБатАФthough IтАЩm sure I would be willing to have you without any allowance at allтБатАФand knows you are well and safely looked after with me.тАЭ
тАЬThen I suppose IтАЩd better write to Father.тАЭ
She said it valiantly, but her heart sank. She had seen her father twice in ten years, and the old antagonism held between them. The present plan doubtless commended itself to Major Waite. At the cost of a few hundreds a year, the problem of his daughter was lifted off his hands. But Joe had no money of her own. She doubted very much if her father would make her any allowance at all if she broke away from Aunt Myra and insisted on leading her own life.
Vernon murmured to her: тАЬDonтАЩt be so damned impatient, Joe. Wait till IтАЩm twenty-one.тАЭ
That cheered her a little. One could always depend on Vernon.
Myra asked Vernon about the Levinnes. Was Mrs.┬аLevinneтАЩs asthma any better? Was it true that they spent almost all of their time in London nowadays?
тАЬNo, I donтАЩt think so. Of course, they donтАЩt go down to Deerfields much in the winter, but they were there all the autumn. ItтАЩll be jolly to have them next door when we go back to Abbots Puissants, wonтАЩt it?тАЭ
His mother started, and said in a flustered sort of voice:
тАЬOh! yesтБатАФvery nice.тАЭ
She added almost immediately:
тАЬYour Uncle Sydney is coming round to tea. HeтАЩs bringing Enid. By the way, I donтАЩt have late dinner any more. I really think it suits me better to have a good sit-down meal at six.тАЭ
тАЬOh!тАЭ said Vernon, rather taken aback.
He had an unreasoning prejudice against those meals. He disliked the juxtaposition of tea and scrambled eggs, and rich plum cake. Why couldnтАЩt his mother have proper meals like other people? Of course, Uncle Sydney and Aunt Carrie always had high tea. Bother Uncle Sydney! All this was his fault.
His thought stoppedтБатАФchecked. All what? He couldnтАЩt answerтБатАФdidnтАЩt quite know. But, anyway, when he and his mother went back to Abbots Puissants, everything would be different.