Book + 

III + 

Jane + 

I + 

I + 

Jane Harding had a flat at the top of a block of mansions overlooking the river in Chelsea. + 

Here, on the evening following the party, came Sebastian Levinne. + 

тАЬIтАЩve fixed it up, Jane,тАЭ he said. тАЬRadmaager is coming here to see you some time tomorrow. He prefers to do that, it seems.тАЭ + 

тАЬтАКтАШCome, tell me how you live, he cried,тАЩтАКтАЭ quoted Jane. тАЬWell, IтАЩm living very nicely and respectably, entirely alone! Do you want something to eat, Sebastian?тАЭ + 

тАЬIf there is anything?тАЭ + 

тАЬThere are scrambled eggs and mushrooms, anchovy toast and black coffee if youтАЩll sit here peaceably while I get them.тАЭ + 

She put the cigarette box and the matches beside him and left the room. In a quarter of an hour, the meal was ready. + 

тАЬI like coming to see you, Jane,тАЭ said Sebastian. тАЬYou never treat me as a bloated young Jew to whom only the flesh pots of the Savoy would make appeal.тАЭ + 

Jane smiled without speaking. + 

Presently she said: тАЬI like your girl, Sebastian.тАЭ + 

тАЬJoe?тАЭ + 

тАЬYes, Joe.тАЭ + 

Sebastian said gruffly: тАЬWhatтБатАФwhat do you really think of her?тАЭ + 

Again Jane paused before answering. + 

тАЬSo young,тАЭ she said at last. тАЬSo terribly young.тАЭ + 

Sebastian chuckled. + 

тАЬSheтАЩd be very angry if she heard you.тАЭ + 

тАЬProbably.тАЭ After a minute she said: тАЬYou care for her very much, donтАЩt you, Sebastian?тАЭ + 

тАЬYes. ItтАЩs odd, isnтАЩt it, Jane, how little all the things youтАЩve got matter? IтАЩve got practically all the things I want, except Joe, and Joe is all that matters. I can see what a fool I am, but it doesnтАЩt make a bit of difference! WhatтАЩs the difference between Joe and a hundred other girls? Very little. And yet sheтАЩs the only thing in the world that matters to me just now.тАЭ + 

тАЬPartly because you canтАЩt get her.тАЭ + 

тАЬPerhaps. But I donтАЩt think thatтАЩs so entirely.тАЭ + 

тАЬNeither do I.тАЭ + 

тАЬWhat do you think of Vernon?тАЭ asked Sebastian, after a pause. + 

Jane changed her position, shading her face from the fire. + 

тАЬHeтАЩs interesting,тАЭ she said slowly, тАЬpartly, I think, because he is so completely unambitious.тАЭ + 

тАЬUnambitious, do you think?тАЭ + 

тАЬYes. He wants things made easy.тАЭ + 

тАЬIf so, heтАЩll never do anything in music. You want driving power for that.тАЭ + 

тАЬYes, you want driving power. But music will be the power that drives him!тАЭ + 

Sebastian looked up, his face alight and appreciative. + 

тАЬDo you know, Jane?тАЭ he said. тАЬI believe youтАЩre right!тАЭ + 

She smiled but made no answer. + 

тАЬI wish I knew what to make of the girl heтАЩs engaged to,тАЭ said Sebastian. + 

тАЬWhat is she like?тАЭ + 

тАЬPretty. Some people might call it lovelyтБатАФbut IтАЩd call it pretty. She does the things that other people do, and does them very sweetly. SheтАЩs not a cat. IтАЩm afraidтБатАФyes, I am afraid now, that she definitely cares for Vernon.тАЭ + 

тАЬYou neednтАЩt be afraid. Your pet genius wonтАЩt be turned aside or held down. That doesnтАЩt happen. IтАЩm more than ever sure, every day I live, that that doesnтАЩt happen.тАЭ + 

тАЬNothing would turn you aside, Jane, but then you have got driving power.тАЭ + 

тАЬAnd yet, do you know, Sebastian, I believe I should be more easily тАШturned asideтАЩ as you call it, than your Vernon? I know what I want and go for itтБатАФhe doesnтАЩt know what he wants, or rather doesnтАЩt want it, but it goes for him.тБатАКтБатАж And that It whatever It is, will be servedтБатАФno matter at what cost.тАЭ + 

тАЬCost to whom?тАЭ + 

тАЬAh! I wonder.тБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

Sebastian rose. + 

тАЬI must go. Thanks for feeding me, Jane.тАЭ + 

тАЬThank you for what youтАЩve done for me with Radmaager. YouтАЩre a very good friend, Sebastian. And I donтАЩt think success will ever spoil you.тАЭ + 

тАЬOh! successтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ He held out his hand. + 

She laid both hands on his shoulders and kissed him. + 

тАЬMy dear, I hope you will get your Joe. But if not I am quite sure you will get everything else!тАЭ + 

II + 

Herr Radmaager did not come to see Jane Harding for nearly a fortnight. He arrived without warning of any kind at half-past ten in the morning. He stumped into the flat without a word of apology and looked round the walls of the sitting-room. + 

тАЬIt is you who have furnished and papered this? Yes?тАЭ + 

тАЬYes.тАЭ + 

тАЬYou live here alone?тАЭ + 

тАЬYes.тАЭ + 

тАЬBut you have not always lived alone?тАЭ + 

тАЬNo.тАЭ + 

Radmaager said unexpectedly: тАЬThat is good.тАЭ Then he said commandingly: тАЬCome here.тАЭ + 

He took her by both arms, and drew her towards the window. There he looked her over from head to foot. He pinched the flesh of her arm between finger and thumb, opened her mouth and looked down her throat, and finally put a large hand on each side of her waist. + 

тАЬBreathe inтБатАФgood! Now outтБатАФsharply.тАЭ + 

He took a tape measure out of his pocket, made her repeat the two movements, passing the tape measure round her each time. Finally he pocketed it and put it away. Neither he nor Jane seemed to see anything curious in the proceedings. + 

тАЬIt is well,тАЭ said Radmaager. тАЬYour chest is excellent, your throat is strong. You are intelligentтБатАФsince you have not interrupted me. I can find many singers with a better voice than yoursтБатАФyour voice is very true, very beautiful, but it is not clear, a silver thread. If you force it, it will goтБатАФand where will you be then, I ask you? The music you sing now is absurdтБатАФif you were not pigheaded as the devil you would not sing those roles. Yet I respect you because you are an artist.тАЭ + 

He paused, then went on: + 

тАЬNow listen to me. My music is beautiful and it will not hurt your voice. When Ibsen created Solveig, he created the most wonderful woman character that has ever been created. My opera will stand and fall by its SolveigтБатАФand it is not sufficient to have a singer. There are Cavarossi, Mary Montner, Jeanne DortaтБатАФall hope to sing Solveig. But I will not have it. What are they? Unintelligent animals with marvellous vocal cords. For my Solveig I must have a perfect instrument, an instrument with intelligence. You are a young singerтБатАФas yet unknown. You shall sing at Covent Garden next year in my Peer Gynt if you satisfy me. Now listenтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

He sat down at JaneтАЩs piano and began to playтБатАФqueer rhythmic monotonous notes. + 

тАЬIt is the snow, you comprehendтБатАФthe Northern snow. That is what your voice must be likeтБатАФthe snow. It is white like damaskтБатАФand the pattern runs through it. But the pattern is in the music, not in your voice.тАЭ + 

He went on playing. Endless monotony, endless repetition, and yet suddenly the something that was woven through it caught your earтБатАФwhat he had called the pattern. + 

He stopped. + 

тАЬWell?тАЭ + 

тАЬIt will be very difficult to sing.тАЭ + 

тАЬQuite right. But you have an excellent ear. You wish to sing SolveigтБатАФyes?тАЭ + 

тАЬNaturally. ItтАЩs the chance of a lifetime. If I can satisfy you.тАЭ + 

тАЬI think you can.тАЭ He got up again, laid his hands on her shoulders. тАЬHow old are you?тАЭ + 

тАЬThirty-three.тАЭ + 

тАЬAnd you have been very unhappyтБатАФthat is so?тАЭ + 

тАЬYes.тАЭ + 

тАЬHow many men have you lived with?тАЭ + 

тАЬOne.тАЭ + 

тАЬAnd he was not a good man?тАЭ + 

Jane answered evenly: тАЬHe was a very bad one.тАЭ + 

тАЬI see. Yes, it is that which is written in your face. Now listen to me, all that you have suffered, all that you have enjoyed, you will put it into my music not with abandon, not with unrestraint, but with controlled and disciplined force. You have intelligence and you have courage. Without courage nothing can ever be accomplished. Those without courage turn their backs on life. You will never turn your back on life. Whatever comes you will stand there facing it with your chin up and your eyes very steady.тБатАКтБатАж But I hope, my child, that you will not be too much hurt.тАЭ + 

He turned away. + 

тАЬI will send on the score,тАЭ he said over his shoulder. тАЬAnd you will study it.тАЭ + 

He stumped out of the room and the flat door banged. + 

Jane sat down by the table. She stared at the wall in front of her with unseeing eyes. Her chance had come. + 

She murmured very softly to herself: тАЬIтАЩm afraid.тАЭ + 

III + 

For a whole week Vernon debated the question of whether he should or should not take Jane at her word. He could get up to town at the weekendтБатАФbut then perhaps Jane would be away. He felt miserably self-conscious and shy. Perhaps by now she had forgotten that she had asked him. + 

He let the weekend go by. He felt that certainly by now she would have forgotten him. Then he got a letter from Joe in which she mentioned having seen Jane twice. That decided Vernon. At six oтАЩclock on the following Saturday, he rang the bell of JaneтАЩs flat. + 

Jane herself opened it. Her eyes opened a little wider when she saw who it was. Otherwise she displayed no surprise. + 

тАЬCome in,тАЭ she said. тАЬIтАЩm finishing my practising. But you wonтАЩt mind.тАЭ + 

He followed her into a long room whose windows overlooked the river. It was very empty. A grand piano, a divan, a couple of chairs and walls that were papered with a wild riot of bluebells and daffodils. One wall alone was papered in sober dark green and on it hung a single pictureтБатАФa queer study of bare tree trunks. Something about it reminded Vernon of his early adventures in the Forest. + 

On the music stool was the little man like a white worm. + 

Jane pushed a cigarette box towards Vernon, said in her brutal commanding voice, тАЬNow, Mr.┬аHill,тАЭ and began to walk up and down the room. + 

Mr.┬аHill flung himself upon the piano. His hands twinkled up and down it with marvellous speed and dexterity. Jane sang. Most of the time sotto voce, almost under her breath. Occasionally she would take a phrase full pitch. Once or twice she stopped with an exclamation of what sounded like furious impatience, and Mr.┬аHill was made to repeat from several bars back. + 

She broke off quite suddenly by clapping her hands. She crossed to the fireplace, pushed the bell, and turning her head addressed Mr.┬аHill for the first time as a human being. + 

тАЬYouтАЩll stay and have some tea, wonтАЩt you, Mr.┬аHill?тАЭ + 

Mr.┬аHill was afraid he couldnтАЩt. He twisted his body apologetically several times and sidled out of the room. A maid brought in black coffee and hot buttered toast which appeared to be JaneтАЩs conception of afternoon tea. + 

тАЬWhat was that you were singing?тАЭ + 

тАЬElectraтБатАФRichard Strauss.тАЭ + 

тАЬOh! I liked it. It was like dogs fighting.тАЭ + 

тАЬStrauss would be flattered. All the same, I know what you mean. It is combative.тАЭ + 

She pushed the toast towards him and added: + 

тАЬYour cousinтАЩs been here twice.тАЭ + 

тАЬI know. She wrote and told me.тАЭ + 

He felt tongue-tied and uncomfortable. He had wanted so much to come, and now that he was here he didnтАЩt know what to say. Something about Jane made him uncomfortable. He blurted out at last: + 

тАЬTell me truthfullyтБатАФwould you advise me to chuck work altogether and stick to music?тАЭ + 

тАЬHow can I possibly tell? I donтАЩt know what you want to do.тАЭ + 

тАЬYou spoke like that the other night. As though everyone can do just what they like.тАЭ + 

тАЬSo they can. Not always, of courseтБатАФbut very nearly always. If you want to murder someone, there is really nothing to stop you. But you will be hanged afterwardsтБатАФnaturally.тАЭ + 

тАЬI donтАЩt want to murder anyone.тАЭ + 

тАЬNo, you want your fairy story to end happily. Uncle dies and leaves you all his money. You marry your lady love and live at AbbotsтБатАФwhatever itтАЩs calledтБатАФhappily ever afterwards.тАЭ + 

Vernon said angrily: тАЬI wish you wouldnтАЩt laugh at me.тАЭ + 

Jane was silent a minute, then she said in a different voice: тАЬI wasnтАЩt laughing at you. I was doing something IтАЩd no business to doтБатАФtrying to interfere.тАЭ + 

тАЬWhat do you mean, trying to interfere?тАЭ + 

тАЬTrying to make you face reality, and forgetting that you areтБатАФwhatтБатАФabout eight years younger than I am?тБатАФand that your time for that hasnтАЩt yet come.тАЭ + 

He thought suddenly: тАЬI could say anything to herтБатАФanything at all. She wouldnтАЩt always answer the way I wanted her to, though.тАЭ + 

Aloud he said: тАЬPlease go on. IтАЩm afraid itтАЩs very egotistical, my talking about myself like this, but IтАЩm so worried and unhappy. I want to know what you meant when you said the other evening that of the four things I wanted, I could get any one of them but not all together.тАЭ + 

Jane considered a minute. + 

тАЬWhat did I mean exactly? Why, just this. To get what you want, you must usually pay a price or take a riskтБатАФsometimes both. For instance, I love musicтБатАФa certain kind of music. My voice is suitable for a totally different kind of music. ItтАЩs an unusually good concert voiceтБатАФnot an operatic oneтБатАФexcept for very light opera. But IтАЩve sung in Wagner, in StraussтБатАФin all the things I like. I havenтАЩt exactly paid a priceтБатАФbut I take an enormous risk. My voice may give out any minute. I know that. IтАЩve looked the fact in the face and IтАЩve decided that the game is worth the candle. + 

тАЬNow in your case, you mentioned four things. For the first, I suppose that if you remain in your uncleтАЩs business for a sufficient number of years, you will grow rich without any further trouble. ThatтАЩs not very interesting. Secondly, you want to live at Abbots Puissants. You could do that tomorrow if you married a girl with money. Then the girl youтАЩre fond of, the girl you want to marryтБатАФтАЭ + 

тАЬCan I get her tomorrow?тАЭ asked Vernon. He spoke with a kind of angry irony. + 

тАЬI should say soтБатАФquite easily.тАЭ + 

тАЬHow?тАЭ + 

тАЬBy selling Abbots Puissants. It is yours to sell, isnтАЩt it?тАЭ + 

тАЬYes, but I couldnтАЩt do that. I couldnтАЩtтБатАФI couldnтАЩt.тБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

Jane leaned back in her chair and smiled. + 

тАЬYou prefer to go on believing that life is a fairy story?тАЭ + 

тАЬThere must be some other way.тАЭ + 

тАЬYes, of course there is another. Probably the simplest. ThereтАЩs nothing to stop you both going out to the nearest Registry Office. YouтАЩve both got the use of your limbs.тАЭ + 

тАЬYou donтАЩt understand. There are hundreds of difficulties in the way. I couldnтАЩt ask Nell to face a life of poverty. She doesnтАЩt want to be poor.тАЭ + 

тАЬPerhaps she canтАЩt.тАЭ + 

тАЬWhat do you mean by тАШcanтАЩtтАЩ?тАЭ + 

тАЬJust that. CanтАЩt. Some people canтАЩt be poor, you know.тАЭ + 

Vernon got up, walked twice up and down the room. Then he came back, dropped on the hearthrug beside JaneтАЩs chair, and looked up at her. + 

тАЬWhat about the fourth thing? Music? Do you think I could ever do that?тАЭ + 

тАЬThat I canтАЩt say. Wanting maynтАЩt be any use there. But if it does happen, I expect it will swallow up all the rest. TheyтАЩll all goтБатАФAbbots Puissants, money, the girl. My dear, I donтАЩt feel lifeтАЩs going to be easy for you. Ugh! a goose is walking over my grave. Now tell me something about this opera Sebastian Levinne says you are writing.тАЭ + 

When he had finished telling her, it was nine oтАЩclock. They both exclaimed and went out to a little restaurant together. As he said goodbye afterwards, his first diffidence returned. + 

тАЬI think you are one of theтБатАФthe nicest people I ever met. You will let me come again and talk, wonтАЩt you? If I havenтАЩt bored you too frightfully.тАЭ + 

тАЬAny time you like. Good night.тАЭ + 

IV + 

Myra wrote to Joe: + 

Dearest Josephine: + 

I am so worried about Vernon and this woman he is always going up to town to seeтБатАФsome opera singer or other. Years older than he is. ItтАЩs so dreadful the way women like that get hold of boys. I am terribly worried and donтАЩt know what to do about it. I have spoken to your Uncle Sydney, but he was not very helpful about it and just said that boys will be boys. But I donтАЩt want my boy to be like that. I was wondering, dear Joe, if it would be any good my seeing this woman and begging her to leave my boy alone. Even a bad woman would listen to a mother, I think. Vernon is too young to have his life ruined. I really donтАЩt know what to do. I seem to have no influence over Vernon nowadays. + 

Joe showed this letter to Sebastian. + 

тАЬI suppose she means Jane,тАЭ said Sebastian. тАЬIтАЩd rather like to see an interview between them. Frankly, I think Jane would be amused.тАЭ + 

тАЬItтАЩs too silly,тАЭ said Joe hotly. тАЬI wish to goodness Vernon would fall in love with Jane. It would be a hundred times better for him than being in love with that silly stick of a Nell.тАЭ + 

тАЬYou donтАЩt like Nell, do you, Joe?тАЭ + 

тАЬYou donтАЩt like her either.тАЭ + 

тАЬOh! yes, I do, in a way. She doesnтАЩt interest me very much, but I can quite see the attraction. In her own way, sheтАЩs quite lovely.тАЭ + 

тАЬYes, in a chocolate-box way.тАЭ + 

тАЬShe doesnтАЩt attract me, because to my mind thereтАЩs nothing there to attract as yet. The real Nell hasnтАЩt happened. Perhaps she never will. I suppose to some people that is very attractive because it opens out all sorts of possibilities.тАЭ + 

тАЬWell, I think Jane is worth ten of Nell! The sooner Vernon gets over his silly calf love for Nell and falls in love with Jane instead, the better it will be.тАЭ + 

Sebastian lit a cigarette and said slowly: + 

тАЬIтАЩm not sure that I agree with you.тАЭ + 

тАЬWhy?тАЭ + 

тАЬWell, itтАЩs not very easy to explain. But, you see, Jane is a real personтБатАФvery much so. To be in love with Jane might be a whole-time job. WeтАЩre agreed, arenтАЩt we, that Vernon is very possibly a genius? Well, I donтАЩt think a genius wants to be married to a real person. He wants to be married to someone rather negligibleтБатАФsomeone whose personality wonтАЩt interfere. Now it may sound cynical, but thatтАЩs what will probably happen if Vernon marries Nell. At the moment she representsтБатАФI donтАЩt quite know what to call itтБатАФwhatтАЩs that line? тАШThe apple tree, the singing and the goldтБатАКтБатАжтАЩ Something like that. Once heтАЩs married to her, that will go. SheтАЩll just be a nice pretty sweet-tempered girl whom, naturally, he loves very much. But she wonтАЩt interfere. SheтАЩll never get between him and his workтБатАФshe hasnтАЩt got sufficient personality. Now Jane might. She wouldnтАЩt mean to, but she might. It isnтАЩt JaneтАЩs beauty that attracts youтБатАФitтАЩs herself. She might be absolutely fatal to Vernon.тАЭ + 

тАЬWell,тАЭ said Joe, тАЬI donтАЩt agree with you. I think NellтАЩs a silly little ass and I should hate to see Vernon married to her. I hope it will all come to nothing.тАЭ + 

тАЬWhich is much the likeliest thing to happen,тАЭ said Sebastian. + 

II + 

I + 

Nell was back in London. Vernon came up to see her the day after her return. She noticed the change in him at once. He looked haggard, excited. He said abruptly: + 

тАЬNell, IтАЩm going to chuck Birmingham.тАЭ + 

тАЬWhat?тАЭ + 

тАЬListen while I tell youтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

He talked eagerly, excitedly. His musicтБатАФheтАЩd got to give himself up to it. He told her of the opera. + 

тАЬListen, Nell. This is youтБатАФin your towerтБатАФwith your golden hair hanging down and shiningтБатАФshining in the sun.тАЭ + 

He went to the piano, began to play, explaining as he did soтБатАКтБатАж тАЬViolinsтБатАФyou seeтБатАФand this is all for harpsтБатАКтБатАж and these are the round jewels.тБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

He played what seemed to Nell to be a series of rather ugly discords. She privately thought it all hideous. Perhaps it would sound different played by an orchestra. + 

But she loved himтБатАФand because she loved him, everything he did must be right. She smiled and said: + 

тАЬItтАЩs lovely, Vernon.тАЭ + 

тАЬDo you really like it, Nell? Oh! sweetheartтБатАФyou are so wonderful. You always understand. YouтАЩre so sweet about everything.тАЭ + 

He came across to her, knelt down and buried his face on her lap. + 

тАЬI love you soтБатАКтБатАж I love you so.тАЭ + 

She stroked his dark head. + 

тАЬTell me the story of it.тАЭ + 

тАЬShall I? Well, you see, thereтАЩs a princess in a tower with golden hair, and kings and knights come from all over the world to try and get her to marry them. But sheтАЩs too haughty to look at any of themтБатАФthe real good old fairy story touch. And at last one comesтБатАФa kind of gypsy fellowтБатАФvery ragged, with a little green hat on his head and a kind of pipe he plays on. And he sings and says that he has the biggest kingdom of anyone because his kingdom is the whole worldтБатАФand that there are no jewels like his jewels, which are dewdrops. And they say heтАЩs mad and throw him out. But that night when the princess is lying in bed, she hears him playing his song in the castle garden and she listens. + 

тАЬThen thereтАЩs an old Jew pedlar man in the town, and he offers the fellow gold and riches with which to win the princess, but the gypsy laughs and says, What could he give in exchange? And the old man says his green hat and the pipe he plays on, but the gypsy says he will never part with those. + 

тАЬHe plays in the palace garden every night. ThereтАЩs an old bard in the palace, and he tells a tale of how a hundred years ago a prince of the Royal house was bewitched by a gypsy maid and wandered forth and was never seen again. And the princess listens to it, and at last one night she gets up and comes to the window. And he tells her to leave all her robes and jewels behind and to come out in a simple white gown. But she thinks in her heart that itтАЩs as well to be on the safe side, so she puts a pearl in the hem of her skirt, and she comes out, and they go off in the moonlight while he singsтБатАКтБатАж But the pearl in her dress weighs her down and she canтАЩt keep up. And he goes on not realizing that sheтАЩs left behind.тБатАКтБатАж + 

тАЬIтАЩve told this very badly, like a story, but thatтАЩs the end of the first actтБатАФhis going off in the moonlight and her left behind weeping. There are three scenes. The castle hall, the marketplace, and the palace garden outside her window.тАЭ + 

тАЬWonтАЩt that be very expensiveтБатАФin the way of scenery, I mean?тАЭ suggested Nell. + 

тАЬI donтАЩt knowтБатАФI hadnтАЩt thoughtтБатАФoh! it can be managed, I expect.тАЭ Vernon was irritated by these prosaic details. + 

тАЬNow the second act is near the marketplace. There is a girl there mending dollsтБатАФwith black hair hanging down round her face. The gypsy comes along, and asks her what sheтАЩs doing, and she says sheтАЩs mending the childrenтАЩs toysтБатАФsheтАЩs got the most wonderful needle and thread in the world. He tells her all about the princess and how heтАЩs lost her again, and he says heтАЩs going to the old Jew pedlar to sell his hat and his pipe, and she warns him not toтБатАФbut he says he must. + 

тАЬI wish I could tell things better. IтАЩm just giving you the story nowтБатАФnot the way IтАЩve divided it up, because IтАЩm not exactly sure myself yet about that. IтАЩve got the musicтБатАФthatтАЩs the great thingтБатАФthe heavy empty palace musicтБатАФand the noisy clattering marketplace musicтБатАФand the princessтБатАФlike that line of poetry, тАШa singing stream in a silent vale,тАЩ and the doll mender, all trees and dark woods like the Forest used to sound at Abbots Puissants; you know, enchanted and mysterious and a little frighteningтБатАКтБатАж I think youтАЩll have to have some instruments specially tuned for it.тБатАКтБатАж Well, I wonтАЩt go into that, it wouldnтАЩt interest youтБатАФitтАЩs too technical. + 

тАЬWhere was I? Oh, yes, he turns up at the palaceтБатАФas a great king this timeтБатАФall clanking swords and horse trappings and blazing jewels, and the princess is overjoyed and theyтАЩre going to be married and everythingтАЩs all right. But he begins to get pale and weary, worse every day, and when anyone asks him what is the matter, he says тАШNothing.тАЩтАКтАЭ + 

тАЬLike you when you were a little boy at Abbots Puissants,тАЭ said Nell, smiling. + 

тАЬDid I say that? I donтАЩt remember. Well, then the night before the wedding he canтАЩt bear it any more, and he steals away from the palace and down to the market and wakes up the old Jew and says he must have back his hat and his pipe. HeтАЩll give back everything he got in exchange. The old Jew laughs, and throws down the hat, torn across, and the pipe, broken, at the princeтАЩs feet. + 

тАЬHeтАЩs brokenheartedтБатАФthe bottom knocked out of his world, and he wanders away with them in his hand, till he comes to where the doll mender is sitting with her feet tucked up under her, and he tells her what has happened and she tells him to lie down and sleep. And when he wakes in the morning there are his green hat and his pipe, mended so beautifully that no one could tell they had been mended. + 

тАЬAnd then he laughs for joy, and she goes to a cupboard and pulls out a similar little green hat and a pipe, and they go out together through the forest, and just as the sun rises on the edge of the forest, he looks at her and remembers. He says, тАШWhy, a hundred years ago I left my palace and my throne for love of you.тАЩ And she says, тАШYes. But because you were afraid you hid a piece of gold in the lining of your doublet, and the gleam of it enchanted your eyes and we lost each other. But now the whole world is ours and we will wander through it together forever and ever.тАЩтАКтАЭ + 

Vernon stopped. He turned an enthusiastic face upon Nell. тАЬIt ought to be lovely, the endтБатАКтБатАж so lovely. If I can get into the music what I see and hearтБатАКтБатАж the two of them in their little green hatsтБатАКтБатАж playing their pipesтБатАКтБатАж and the forest and the sun rising.тБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

His face grew dreamy and ecstatic. He seemed to have forgotten Nell. + 

Nell herself felt indescribable sensations sweep over her. She was afraid of this queer, rapt Vernon. He had talked of music before to her, but never with this strange exalted passion. She knew that Sebastian Levinne thought Vernon might do wonderful things some day, but she remembered lives she had read of musical geniuses and suddenly she wished with all her heart that Vernon might not have this marvellous gift. She wanted him as he had been heretofore, her eager boyish lover, the two of them wrapped in their common dream. + 

The wives of musicians were always unhappy: she had read that somewhere. She didnтАЩt want Vernon to be a great musician. She wanted him to make some money quickly and live with her at Abbots Puissants. She wanted a sweet, sane, normal, everyday life. LoveтБатАФand VernonтБатАКтБатАж + 

This thingтБатАФthis kind of possessionтБатАФwas dangerous. She was sure it was dangerous. + 

But she couldnтАЩt damp VernonтАЩs ardour. She loved him far too much for that. She said, trying to make her voice sound sympathetic and interested: + 

тАЬWhat an unusual fairy story! Do you mean to say youтАЩve remembered it from ever since you were a child?тАЭ + 

тАЬMore or less. I thought of it again that morning on the river at CambridgeтБатАФjust before I saw you standing under that tree. Darling, you were so lovelyтБатАФso lovely.тБатАКтБатАж You always will be lovely, wonтАЩt you? I couldnтАЩt bear it if you werenтАЩt. What idiotic things I am saying! And then, after that night at Ranelagh, that wonderful night when I told you that I loved you, all the music came pouring into my mind. Only I couldnтАЩt remember the story clearlyтБатАФonly really the bit about the tower. + 

тАЬBut, IтАЩve had marvellous luck. IтАЩve met a girl who is actually the niece of the hospital nurse who told me the story. And she remembered it perfectly and helped me to get it quite clearly again. IsnтАЩt it extraordinary the way things happen?тАЭ + 

тАЬWho is she, this woman?тАЭ + 

тАЬSheтАЩs really rather a wonderful person, I think. Awfully nice and frightfully clever. SheтАЩs a singerтБатАФJane Harding. She sings Electra and Brunhilde and Isolde with the new English Opera Company; and she may sing at Covent Garden next year. I met her at a party of SebastianтАЩs. I want you to meet her. IтАЩm sure youтАЩd like her awfully.тАЭ + 

тАЬHow old is she? Young?тАЭ + 

тАЬYoungishтБатАФabout thirty, I should think. She has an awfully queer effect on one. In a way you almost dislike her, and yet she makes you feel you can do things. SheтАЩs been very good to me.тАЭ + 

тАЬI dare say.тАЭ + 

Why did she say that? Why should she feel an unreasoning prejudice against this womanтБатАФthis Jane Harding? + 

Vernon was staring at her with rather a puzzled expression. + 

тАЬWhatтАЩs the matter, darling? You said that so queerly.тАЭ + 

тАЬI donтАЩt know.тАЭ She tried to laugh. тАЬA goose walking over my grave, perhaps.тАЭ + 

тАЬFunny,тАЭ said Vernon, frowning. тАЬSomebody else said that just lately.тАЭ + 

тАЬLots of people say it,тАЭ said Nell, laughing. She paused and then said: тАЬIтАЩdтБатАФIтАЩd like to meet this friend of yours very much, Vernon.тАЭ + 

тАЬI know. I want her to meet you. IтАЩve talked a lot about you to her.тАЭ + 

тАЬI wish you wouldnтАЩt. Talk about me, I mean. After all, we promised Mother no one should know.тАЭ + 

тАЬNobody outsideтБатАФbut Sebastian knows and Joe.тАЭ + 

тАЬThatтАЩs different. YouтАЩve known them all your life.тАЭ + 

тАЬYes, of course. IтАЩm sorry. I didnтАЩt think. I didnтАЩt say we were engaged, or tell your name or anything. YouтАЩre not cross, are you, Nell darling?тАЭ + 

тАЬOf course not.тАЭ + 

Even in her own ears her voice sounded hard. Why was life so horribly difficult? She was afraid of this music. Already it had made Vernon chuck up a good job. Was it the music? Or was it Jane Harding? + 

She thought to herself desperately: тАЬI wish IтАЩd never met Vernon. I wish IтАЩd never loved him. I wishтБатАФoh! I wish I didnтАЩt love him so much. IтАЩm afraid. IтАЩm afraid.тБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

II + 

It was over! the plunge was taken! There was unpleasantness of course. Uncle Sydney was furious; not, Vernon was forced to confess, without reason. There were scenes with his motherтБатАФtearsтБатАФrecriminations. A dozen times, he was on the point of giving way, and yet, somehow or other, he didnтАЩt. + 

He had a curious sense of desolation all the time. He was alone in this thing. Nell, because she loved him, agreed to all he said, but he was uncomfortably conscious that his decision had grieved and disturbed her, and might even shake her faith in the future. Sebastian thought the move premature. For the time being, he would have advised making the best of two worlds. Not that he said so. Sebastian never gave advice to anybody. Even the staunch Joe was doubtful. She realized that for Vernon to sever his connection with the Bents was serious, and she had not the real faith in VernonтАЩs musical future which would have made her heartily applaud the step. + 

So far, in his life, Vernon had never had the courage to set himself definitely in opposition to everybody. When it was all over, and he was settled in the very cheap rooms which were all he could afford in London, he felt as one might who had overcome invincible odds. Then, and not till then, he went a second time to see Jane Harding. + 

He had held boyish imaginary conversations with her in his mind. + 

тАЬI have done what you told me.тАЭ + 

тАЬSplendid! I knew you had the courage really.тАЭ + 

He was modest, she applauded. He was sustained and uplifted by her praise. + 

The reality, as always, fell out quite differently. His intercourse with Jane always did. He was always holding imaginary conversations with Jane in his mind, and the reality was always totally different. + 

In this case, when he announced, with due modesty, what he had done, she seemed to take it as a matter of course, with nothing particularly heroic about it. She said: + 

тАЬWell, you must have wanted to do it or you wouldnтАЩt have done it.тАЭ + 

He felt baffled, almost angry. A curious sense of constraint always came over him in JaneтАЩs presence. He could never be wholly natural with her. He had so much he wanted to sayтБатАФbut he found it difficult to say it. He was tongue-tiedтБатАФembarrassed. And then suddenly, for no reason, it seemed, the cloud would lift and he would be talking happily and easily, saying the things that came into his head. + 

He thought: тАЬWhy am I so embarrassed with her? SheтАЩs natural enough.тАЭ + 

It worried him. From the first moment he had met her, he had felt disturbedтБатАФafraid. He resented the effect she had on him and yet he was unwilling to admit how strong that effect was. + 

An attempt to bring about a friendship between her and Nell failed. Vernon could feel that behind the outward cordiality that politeness dictates, there was very little real feeling. + 

When he asked Nell what she thought of Jane, she answered: тАЬI like her very much. I think sheтАЩs most interesting.тАЭ + 

He was more awkward approaching Jane, but she helped him. + 

тАЬYou want to know what I think of your Nell? She is lovelyтБатАФand very sweet.тАЭ + 

He said, тАЬAnd you really think youтАЩll be friends?тАЭ + 

тАЬNo, of course not. Why should we?тАЭ + 

тАЬWell, butтБатАФтАЭ + 

He stammered, taken aback. + 

тАЬFriendship is not a kind of equilateral triangle. If A likes B and loves C, then C and B, etcetera, etcetera.тБатАКтБатАж WeтАЩve nothing in common, your Nell and I. She, too, expects life to be a fairy story, and is just beginning to be afraid, poor child, that it maynтАЩt be, after all. SheтАЩs a Sleeping Beauty waking in the forest. Love, to her, is something very wonderful and very beautiful.тАЭ + 

тАЬIsnтАЩt it that to you?тАЭ + 

He had to ask. He wanted to know so badly. So often, so often, heтАЩd wondered about Boris Androv, about those five years. + 

She looked at him with a face from which all expression had died out. + 

тАЬSome dayтБатАФIтАЩll tell you.тАЭ + 

He wanted to say, тАЬTell me now,тАЭ but he didnтАЩt. He said instead: + 

тАЬTell me, Jane, what is life to you?тАЭ + 

She paused a minute and then said: тАЬA difficult, dangerous, but endlessly interesting adventure.тАЭ + 

III + 

At last, he was able to work. He began to appreciate to the full the joys of freedom. There was nothing to fray his nerves, nothing to dissipate his energy. It could flow, all in one steady stream, into his work. There were few distractions. At the moment, he had only just enough money to keep body and soul together. Abbots Puissants was still unletтБатАКтБатАж + 

The autumn passed and most of the winter. He saw Nell once or twice a week, stolen unsatisfactory meetings. They were both conscious of the loss of the first fine rapture. She questioned him closely about the progress of the opera. How was it going? When did he expect it would be finished? What chances were there of its being produced? + 

Vernon was vague to all these practical aspects. He was concerned at the moment only with the creative side. The opera was getting itself born, slowly, with innumerable pangs and difficulties, with a hundred setbacks owing to VernonтАЩs own lack of experience and technique. His conversation was mostly of instrumental difficulties or possibilities. He went out with odd musicians who played in orchestras. Nell went to many concerts and was fond of music, but it is doubtful if she could have told an oboe from a clarinet. SheтАЩd always imagined a horn and a French horn to be much the same thing. The technical knowledge needed in score writing appalled her, and VernonтАЩs indifference to how and when the opera would be produced made her uneasy. + 

He hardly realized himself how much his uncertain answers depressed and alienated Nell. He was startled one day when she said to himтБатАФindeed not so much said as wailed: + 

тАЬOh, Vernon, donтАЩt try me too hard. ItтАЩs so difficultтБатАФso difficult. I must have some hope. You donтАЩt understand.тАЭ + 

He looked at her astonished. + 

тАЬBut, Nell, itтАЩs all right really. ItтАЩs only a question of being patient.тАЭ + 

тАЬI know, Vernon. I shouldnтАЩt have said that, but you seeтБатАФтАЭ + 

She paused. + 

тАЬIt makes it so much more difficult for me, darling,тАЭ said Vernon, тАЬif I feel that youтАЩre unhappy.тАЭ + 

тАЬOh, IтАЩm notтБатАФI wonтАЩt be.тАЭ + 

But underneath, choked down, that old feeling of resentment lifted its head again. Vernon didnтАЩt understand or care how difficult things were for her. He never had the faintest conception of her difficulties. He would, perhaps, have called them silly or trivial. They were, in one sense, but in another they werenтАЩtтБатАФsince the sum total of them went to make up her life. Vernon didnтАЩt see or realize that she was fighting a battleтБатАФfighting it all the time. She could never relax. If he could only realize that, give her a word of cheer, show her that he understood the difficult position in which she was placed. But he never would see. + 

A devastating sense of loneliness swept over Nell. Men were like thatтБатАФthey never understood or cared. LoveтБатАФthat seemed to solve everything. But really it didnтАЩt solve anything at all. She almost hated Vernon. Selfishly absorbed in his work, disliking her to be unhappy because it upset himтБатАКтБатАж + 

She thought: тАЬAny woman would understand.тАЭ + 

And, moved by some obscure impulse, she went of her own accord to see Jane Harding. + 

Jane was in, and if she was surprised to see Nell, she did not show it. They talked for some time on desultory things. Yet Nell had a feeling that Jane was waiting and watching, biding her time. + 

Why had she come? She didnтАЩt know. She feared and distrusted JaneтБатАФperhaps that was why! Jane was her enemy. Yes, but she had a fear that her enemy had a wisdom denied to her. Jane (she put it to herself) was clever. She was, very possibly, badтБатАФyes, she was sure Jane was badтБатАФbut somehow or other one might learn from her. + 

She began rather blunderingly. Did Jane think that VernonтАЩs music was likely to be successfulтБатАФthat is to say successful soon? She tried in vain to keep a quaver out of her voice. + 

She felt JaneтАЩs cool green eyes upon her. + 

тАЬThings getting difficult?тАЭ + 

тАЬYes, you seeтБатАФтАЭ + 

It tumbled out, a great deal of it: the shifts, the difficulties, the unspoken force of her motherтАЩs silent pressure, a dimly veiled reference to Someone, name not given, Someone who understood and was kind and was rich. + 

How easy to say these things to a womanтБатАФeven a woman like Jane, who couldnтАЩt know anything about them. Women understoodтБатАФthey didnтАЩt pooh-pooh trifles and make everything out to be unimportant. + 

When she had finished, Jane said: тАЬItтАЩs a little hard on you. When you first met Vernon you had no idea of this music business.тАЭ + 

тАЬI didnтАЩt think it would be like this,тАЭ said Nell bitterly. + 

тАЬWell, itтАЩs no good going back to what you didnтАЩt think, is it?тАЭ + 

тАЬI suppose not.тАЭ Nell felt vaguely annoyed at JaneтАЩs tone. тАЬOh!тАЭ she broke out. тАЬYou feel, of course, that everything ought to give way to his musicтБатАФthat heтАЩs a geniusтБатАФthat I ought to be glad to make any sacrifice.тАЭ + 

тАЬNo, I donтАЩt,тАЭ said Jane. тАЬI donтАЩt think any of those things. I donтАЩt know what good geniuses are, or works of art either. Some people are born with a feeling that they matter more than anything else, and some people arenтАЩt. ItтАЩs impossible to say whoтАЩs right. The best thing for you would be to persuade Vernon to give up music, sell Abbots Puissants, and settle down with you on the proceeds. But I do know this, that you havenтАЩt an earthly chance of getting him to give up music. These things, genius, art, whatever you like to call it, are much stronger than you are. You might just as well be King Canute on the sea shore. You canтАЩt turn back Vernon from music.тАЭ + 

тАЬWhat can I do?тАЭ said Nell hopelessly. + 

тАЬWell, you can either marry this other man you were talking of and be reasonably happy, or you can marry Vernon and be actively unhappy with periods of bliss.тАЭ + 

Nell looked at her. + 

тАЬWhat would you do?тАЭ she whispered. + 

тАЬOh! I should marry Vernon and be unhappy, but then some of us like taking our pleasures sadly.тАЭ + 

Nell got up. She stood in the doorway looking back at Jane who had not moved. She was lying back against the wall, smoking a cigarette, her eyes half closed. She looked a little like a cat, or a Chinese idol. A sudden wave of fury came over Nell. + 

тАЬI hate you,тАЭ she cried. тАЬYouтАЩre taking Vernon away from me. YesтБатАФyou. YouтАЩre badтБатАФevil. I know it, I can feel it. YouтАЩre a bad woman.тАЭ + 

тАЬYouтАЩre jealous,тАЭ said Jane quietly. + 

тАЬYou admit then, thereтАЩs something to be jealous of? Not that Vernon loves you. He doesnтАЩt. He never would. ItтАЩs you who want to get hold of him.тАЭ + 

There was silenceтБатАФa pulsating silence. Then, without moving, Jane laughed. Nell hurried out of the flat, hardly knowing what she was doing. + 

IV + 

Sebastian came very often to see Jane. He usually came after dinner, ringing up first to find if she would be at home. They both found a curious pleasure in each otherтАЩs company. To Sebastian Jane recounted her struggles with the role of Solveig, the difficulties of the music, the difficulty of pleasing Radmaager, the still greater difficulty of pleasing herself. To Jane, Sebastian imparted his ambitions, his present plans, his future vague ideas. + 

One evening, after they had both been silent after a long spell of talking, he said: + 

тАЬI can talk to you better than anyone I know, Jane. I donтАЩt quite know why, either.тАЭ + 

тАЬWell, in a way, weтАЩre both the same kind of person, arenтАЩt we?тАЭ + 

тАЬAre we?тАЭ + 

тАЬI think so. Not superficially, perhaps, but fundamentally. We both like truth. I think, as far as one can say that of oneself we both see things as they are.тАЭ + 

тАЬAnd you think most people donтАЩt?тАЭ + 

тАЬOf course they donтАЩt. Nell Vereker, for instance. She sees things as theyтАЩve been shown her, as she hopes they are.тАЭ + 

тАЬA slave of convention, you mean?тАЭ + 

тАЬYes, but it works both ways. Joe, for instance, prides herself on being unconventional, but that makes just as much for narrowness and prejudice.тАЭ + 

тАЬYes, if youтАЩre тАШaginтАЩ everything irrespective of what it is. Joe is like that. She must be a rebel. She never really examines a thing on its merits. And thatтАЩs what damns me so hopelessly in her eyes. IтАЩm successfulтБатАФand she admires failures. IтАЩm rich, so sheтАЩd gain instead of lose if she married me. And being a Jew doesnтАЩt count against you much nowadays.тАЭ + 

тАЬItтАЩs even fashionable,тАЭ said Jane laughing. + 

тАЬAnd yet, do you know, Jane, I always have a queer feeling that Joe really likes me?тАЭ + 

тАЬPerhaps she does. SheтАЩs the wrong age for you, Sebastian. That Swede at your party said something wonderfully trueтБатАФabout separation in time being worse than separation in space. If youтАЩre the wrong age for a person, nothing keeps you apart so hopelessly. You may be made for one another, but be born at the wrong time for each other. Does that sound nonsense? I believe when sheтАЩs about thirty-five, Joe could love youтБатАФthe real essential youтБатАФmadly. ItтАЩll take a woman to love you, Sebastian, not a girl.тАЭ + 

Sebastian was looking into the fire. It was a cold February day, and there were logs piled up on the coals. Jane hated gas fires. + 

тАЬHave you ever wondered, Jane, why we donтАЩt fall in love with each other, you and I? Platonic friendship doesnтАЩt usually work. And youтАЩre very attractive. ThereтАЩs a lot of the siren about youтБатАФquite unconscious, but itтАЩs there.тАЭ + 

тАЬPerhaps we should under normal conditions.тАЭ + 

тАЬArenтАЩt we under normal conditions? Oh! wait a minuteтБатАФI know what you mean. You mean the lineтАЩs already engaged.тАЭ + 

тАЬYes. If you didnтАЩt love JoeтБатАФтАЭ + 

тАЬAnd if youтБатАФтАЭ + 

He stopped. + 

тАЬWell?тАЭ said Jane. тАЬYou knew, didnтАЩt you?тАЭ + 

тАЬYes, I suppose so. You donтАЩt mind talking about it?тАЭ + 

тАЬNot in the least. If a thingтАЩs there, what does it matter if you talk of it or not?тАЭ + 

тАЬAre you one of the people, Jane, who believe that if you want a thing enough you can make it happen?тАЭ + 

Jane considered. + 

тАЬNoтБатАФI donтАЩt think I am. So many things happen to you naturally that it keeps you busy withoutтБатАФwell, looking for things as well. When a thingтАЩs offered you, youтАЩve got to choose whether youтАЩll accept it or refuse it. ThatтАЩs destiny. And when youтАЩve made your choice you must abide by it without looking back.тАЭ + 

тАЬThatтАЩs the spirit of Greek tragedy. YouтАЩve got Electra into your bones, Jane.тАЭ He picked up a book from the table. тАЬPeer Gynt? YouтАЩre steeping yourself in Solveig, I see.тАЭ + 

тАЬYes. ItтАЩs more her opera than PeerтАЩs. You know, Sebastian, Solveig is a wonderfully fascinating characterтБатАФso impassive, so calm, and yet so utterly certain that her love for Peer is the only thing in heaven or earth. She knows that he wants and needs her though he never tells her so, she is abandoned and deserted by him, and manages to turn that desertion into a crowning proof of his love. By the way, that Whitsuntide music of RadmaagerтАЩs is perfectly glorious. You know: тАШBlessed is he who has made my life blessed!тАЩ To show that the love of a man can turn you into a kind of impassioned nun is difficult but rather wonderful.тАЭ + 

тАЬIs Radmaager pleased with you?тАЭ + 

тАЬSometimes he is. Yesterday, on the other hand, he consigned my soul to hell and shook me till my teeth rattled. He was perfectly right, too. I sang it all wrongтБатАФlike a melodramatic stage-struck girl. ItтАЩs got to be sheer force of willтБатАФrestraint. Solveig must be so soft and gentle, but really so terribly strong. ItтАЩs like Radmaager said the first day. SnowтБатАФsmooth snowтБатАФwith a wonderful clear design running through it.тАЭ + 

She went on to talk of VernonтАЩs work. + 

тАЬItтАЩs almost finished, you know. I want him to show it to Radmaager.тАЭ + 

тАЬWill he?тАЭ + 

тАЬI think so. Have you seen it?тАЭ + 

тАЬParts of it only.тАЭ + 

тАЬWhat do you think of it?тАЭ + 

тАЬIтАЩll hear what you think of it first, Jane. Your judgmentтАЩs as good as mine any day where music is concerned.тАЭ + 

тАЬItтАЩs crude. ThereтАЩs too much in itтБатАФtoo much good stuff. He hasnтАЩt learnt how to handle his materialтБатАФbut the material is thereтБатАФmasses and masses of it. Do you agree?тАЭ + 

Sebastian nodded. + 

тАЬAbsolutely. IтАЩm more sure than ever that Vernon is going toтБатАФwell, revolutionize things. But thereтАЩs a nasty time coming. HeтАЩll have to face the fact that what heтАЩs written isnтАЩt, when allтАЩs said and done, a commercial proposition.тАЭ + 

тАЬYou mean, it couldnтАЩt be produced?тАЭ + 

тАЬThatтАЩs what I mean.тАЭ + 

тАЬYou could produce it.тАЭ + 

тАЬYou mean, out of friendship?тАЭ + 

тАЬThatтАЩs what I meant.тАЭ + 

Sebastian got up and began to pace up and down. + 

тАЬTo my way of thinking, thatтАЩs unethical,тАЭ he said at last. + 

тАЬAnd also you donтАЩt like losing money.тАЭ + 

тАЬQuite true.тАЭ + 

тАЬBut you could afford to lose a certain amount withoutтБатАФwell, noticing it?тАЭ + 

тАЬI always notice losing money. It affectsтБатАФwell, my pride.тАЭ + 

Jane nodded. + 

тАЬI understand that. But I donтАЩt think, Sebastian, that you need lose money.тАЭ + 

тАЬMy dear JaneтБатАФтАЭ + 

тАЬDonтАЩt argue with me till you know what IтАЩm arguing about. YouтАЩre going to produce a certain amount of what the world calls тАШhighbrowтАЩ stuff at the little Holborn theatre, arenтАЩt you? Well, this summerтБатАФsay the beginning of JulyтБатАФproduce The Princess in the Tower forтБатАФsayтБатАФtwo weeks. DonтАЩt produce it from the point of view of an opera (donтАЩt tell Vernon this, by the wayтБатАФbut there, you wouldnтАЩt. YouтАЩre not an idiot), but from the point of view of a musical spectacular play. Unusual scenery and weird lighting effectsтБатАФyouтАЩre keen on lighting, I know. The Russian balletтБатАФthatтАЩs what youтАЩve got to aim at; thatтАЩs theтБатАФthe tone of it. Have good singers, but attractive ones to look at as well. And now, putting modesty in the background, IтАЩll tell you this. IтАЩll make a success of it for you.тАЭ + 

тАЬYouтБатАФas the princess?тАЭ + 

тАЬNo, my dear child, as the doll mender. ItтАЩs a weird characterтБатАФa character that will attract and arrest. The music of the doll mender is the best thing Vernon has done. Sebastian, youтАЩve always said I could act. TheyтАЩre going to let me sing at Covent Garden this season because I can act. I shall make a hit. I know I can actтБатАФand acting counts for a lot in opera. I canтБатАФI can sway people. I can make them feel. VernonтАЩs opera will need licking into shape from the dramatic point of view. Leave that to me. From the musical side, you and Radmaager may be able to make suggestionsтБатАФif heтАЩll take them. Musicians are the devil to deal with as we all know. The thing can be done, Sebastian.тАЭ + 

She leaned forward, her face vivid and impressive. SebastianтАЩs face grew more impassive as it always did when he was thinking hard. He looked appraisingly at Jane, weighing her, not from the personal standpoint, but from the impersonal. He believed in Jane, in her dynamic force, in her magnetism, in her wonderful power of communicating emotion over the footlights. + 

тАЬIтАЩll think it over,тАЭ he said quietly. тАЬThereтАЩs something in what you say.тАЭ + 

Jane laughed suddenly. + 

тАЬAnd youтАЩll be able to get me very cheap, Sebastian,тАЭ she said. + 

тАЬI shall expect to,тАЭ said Sebastian gravely. тАЬMy Jewish instincts must be appeased somehow. YouтАЩre putting this thing over on me, JaneтБатАФdonтАЩt imagine that I donтАЩt know it!тАЭ + 

III + 

I + 

At last The Princess in the Tower was finished. Vernon suffered from a tremendous wave of reaction. The whole thing was rottenтБатАФhopeless. Best to chuck it into the fire. + 

NellтАЩs sweetness and encouragement were like manna to him at this time. She had that wonderful instinct for always saying the words he longed to hear. But for her, as he constantly told her, he would have given way to despair long ago. + 

He had seen less of Jane during the winter. She had been on tour with the English Opera Company part of the time. When she sang in Electra in Birmingham, he went down for it. He was tremendously impressedтБатАФloved both the music and JaneтАЩs impersonation of Electra. That ruthless will, that determined: тАЬSay naught but dance on!тАЭ She gave the impression of being more spirit than flesh. He was conscious that her voice was really too weak for the part, but somehow it didnтАЩt seem to matter. She was ElectraтБатАФthat fanatical fiery spirit of relentless doom. + 

He stayed a few days with his motherтБатАФdays which he found trying and difficult. He went to see his Uncle Sydney and was received coldly. Enid was engaged to be married to a solicitor, and Uncle Sydney was not too pleased about it. + 

Nell and her mother were away for Easter. On their return Vernon rang up and said he must see her immediately. He arrived with a white face and burning eyes. + 

тАЬNell, do you know what IтАЩve heard? Everyone has been saying that you are going to marry George Chetwynd. George Chetwynd!тАЭ + 

тАЬWho said so?тАЭ + 

тАЬLots of people. They say you go round with him everywhere.тАЭ + 

Nell looked frightened and unhappy. + 

тАЬI wish you wouldnтАЩt believe things. And Vernon, donтАЩt look soтБатАФso accusing. ItтАЩs perfectly true that he has asked me to marry himтБатАФtwice, as a matter of fact.тАЭ + 

тАЬThat old man?тАЭ + 

тАЬOh! Vernon, donтАЩt be ridiculous. HeтАЩs only about forty-one or -two.тАЭ + 

тАЬNearly double your age. Why, I thought he wanted to marry your mother, perhaps.тАЭ + 

Nell laughed in spite of herself. + 

тАЬOh! dear, I wish he would. MotherтАЩs really awfully handsome still.тАЭ + 

тАЬThatтАЩs what I thought that night at Ranelagh. I never guessedтБатАФI never dreamedтБатАФthat it was you! Or hadnтАЩt it begun then?тАЭ + 

тАЬOh! yes, it had begunтБатАФas you call it. That was why Mother was so angry that nightтБатАФat my going off alone with you.тАЭ + 

тАЬAnd I never guessed! Nell, you might have told me!тАЭ + 

тАЬTold you what? There wasnтАЩt anything to tellтБатАФthen!тАЭ + 

тАЬNo, I suppose not. IтАЩm being an idiot. But I do know heтАЩs awfully rich. I get frightened sometimes. Oh, darling Nell, it was beastly of me to doubt youтБатАФeven for a minute. As though youтАЩd ever care how rich anyone were.тАЭ + 

Nell said irritably: тАЬRich, rich, rich! You harp on that. HeтАЩs awfully kind and awfully nice, too.тАЭ + 

тАЬOh, I dare say.тАЭ + 

тАЬHe is, Vernon. Really he is.тАЭ + 

тАЬItтАЩs nice of you to stick up for him, darling, but he must be an insensitive sort of brute to hang round after youтАЩve refused him twice.тАЭ + 

Nell did not answer. She looked at him in a way he did not understandтБатАФsomething piteous and appealing and yet defiant in that strange limpid gaze. It was as though she looked at him from a world so far removed from his that they might be on different spheres. + 

He said: тАЬI feel ashamed of myself, Nell. But youтАЩre so lovelyтБатАФeveryone must want youтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

She broke down suddenlyтБатАФbegan to cry. He was startled. She cried on, sobbed on his shoulder. + 

тАЬI donтАЩt know what to doтБатАФI donтАЩt know what to do. IтАЩm so unhappy. If I could only talk to you.тАЭ + 

тАЬBut you can talk to me, darling. IтАЩm here listening.тАЭ + 

тАЬNo, no, noтБатАКтБатАж I can never talk to you. You donтАЩt understand. ItтАЩs all no use.тАЭ + 

She cried on. He kissed her, soothed her, poured out all his love.тБатАКтБатАж + 

When he had gone, her mother came into the room, an open letter in her hand. + 

She did not appear to notice NellтАЩs tear-stained face. + 

тАЬGeorge Chetwynd sails for America on the thirtieth of May,тАЭ she remarked, as she went across to her desk. + 

тАЬI donтАЩt care when he sails,тАЭ said Nell rebelliously. + 

Mrs.┬аVereker did not answer. + 

That night Nell knelt longer than usual by her narrow white bed. + 

тАЬOh! God, please let me marry Vernon. I want to so much. I do love him so. Please let things come right and let us be married. Make something happen.тБатАКтБатАж Please God.тБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

II + 

At the end of April Abbots Puissants was let. Vernon came to Nell in some excitement. + 

тАЬNell, will you marry me now? We could just manage. ItтАЩs a bad letтБатАФan awfully bad oneтБатАФbut I simply had to take it. You see, thereтАЩs been the mortgage interest to pay and all the expenses of the upkeep while itтАЩs been unlet. IтАЩve had to borrow for all that and now of course itтАЩs got to be paid back. WeтАЩll be pretty short for a year or two, but then it wonтАЩt be so bad.тБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

He talked on, explaining the financial details. + 

тАЬIтАЩve been into it all, Nell. I have really. Sensibly, I mean. We could afford a tiny flat and one maid and have a little left over to play with. Oh, Nell, you wouldnтАЩt mind being poor with me, would you? You said once I didnтАЩt know what it was to be poor, but you canтАЩt say that now. IтАЩve lived on frightfully little since I came to London, and I havenтАЩt minded a bit.тАЭ + 

No, Nell knew he hadnтАЩt. The fact was in some way a vague reproach to her. And yet, though she couldnтАЩt quite express it to herself, she felt that the two cases were not on a par. It made much more difference to womenтБатАФto be gay and pretty and admired and have a good timeтБатАФnone of those things affected men. They hadnтАЩt that everlasting problem of clothesтБатАФnobody minded if they were shabby. + 

But how explain these things to Vernon? One couldnтАЩt. He wasnтАЩt like George Chetwynd. George understood things like that. + 

тАЬNell.тАЭ + 

She sat there, irresolute, his arm round her. She had got to decide. Visions floated before her eyes. AmelieтБатАКтБатАж the hot little house, the wailing childrenтБатАКтБатАж George Chetwynd and his carтБатАКтБатАж a stuffy little flat, a dirty incompetent maidтБатАКтБатАж dancesтБатАКтБатАж clothesтБатАКтБатАж the money they owed dressmakersтБатАКтБатАж the rent of the London houseтБатАФunpaidтБатАКтБатАж herself at Ascot, smiling, chattering in a lovely model gownтБатАКтБатАж then, with a sudden revulsion she was back at Ranelagh on the bridge over the water with Vernon.тБатАКтБатАж + 

In almost the same voice as she had used that evening she said: тАЬI donтАЩt know. Oh! Vernon, I donтАЩt know.тАЭ + 

тАЬOh! Nell, darling, doтБатАКтБатАж do!тАЭ + 

She disengaged herself from him, got up. + 

тАЬPlease, VernonтБатАФI must thinkтБатАКтБатАж yes, think. IтБатАФI canтАЩt when IтАЩm with you.тАЭ + 

She wrote to him later that night: + 

Dearest Vernon: + 

Let us wait a little longerтБатАФsay six months. I donтАЩt feel I want to be married now. Besides, something might have happened about your opera then. You think IтАЩm afraid of being poor, but itтАЩs not quite that. IтАЩve seen peopleтБатАФpeople who loved each other, and they didnтАЩt any more because of all the bothers and worries. I feel that if we wait and are patient everything will come right. Oh! Vernon, I know it willтБатАФand then everything will be so lovely. If only we wait and have patienceтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

Vernon was angry when he got this letter. He did not show the letter to Jane, but he broke out into sufficiently unguarded speech to let her see how the land lay. She said at once in her disconcerting fashion: + 

тАЬYou do think youтАЩre sufficient prize for any girl, donтАЩt you, Vernon?тАЭ + 

тАЬWhat do you mean?тАЭ + 

тАЬWell, do you think it will be awfully jolly for a girl who has danced and been to parties and had lots of fun and people admiring her to be stuck down in a poky hole with no more fun?тАЭ + 

тАЬWeтАЩd have each other.тАЭ + 

тАЬYou canтАЩt make love to her for twenty-four hours on end. Whilst youтАЩre working what is she to do?тАЭ + 

тАЬDonтАЩt you think a woman can be poor and happy?тАЭ + 

тАЬCertainly, given the necessary qualifications.тАЭ + 

тАЬWhich areтБатАФwhat? Love and trust?тАЭ + 

тАЬNo, you idiotic child. A sense of humour, a tough hide and the valuable quality of being sufficient unto oneself. You will insist on love in a cottage being a sentimental problem dependent on the amount of love concerned. ItтАЩs far more a problem of mental outlook. YouтАЩd be all right stuck down anywhereтБатАФBuckingham Palace or the SaharaтБатАФbecause youтАЩve got your mental preoccupationтБатАФmusic. But NellтАЩs dependent on extraneous circumstances. Marrying you will cut her off from all her friends.тАЭ + 

тАЬWhy should it?тАЭ + 

тАЬBecause itтАЩs the hardest thing in the world for people with different incomes to continue friends. TheyтАЩre not all doing the same thing naturally.тАЭ + 

тАЬYou always put me in the wrong,тАЭ said Vernon savagely. тАЬOr at any rate you try to.тАЭ + 

тАЬWell, it annoys me to see you put yourself on a pedestal and stand admiring yourself for nothing at all,тАЭ said Jane calmly. тАЬYou expect Nell to sacrifice her friends and life to you, but you wouldnтАЩt make your sacrifice for her.тАЭ + 

тАЬWhat sacrifice? IтАЩd do anything.тАЭ + 

тАЬExcept sell Abbots Puissants!тАЭ + 

тАЬYou donтАЩt understand.тАЭ + 

Jane looked at him gently. + 

тАЬPerhaps I do. Oh! yes, my dear, I do very well. But donтАЩt be noble. It always annoys me to see people being noble! LetтАЩs talk about The Princess in the Tower. I want you to show it to Radmaager.тАЭ + 

тАЬOh, itтАЩs so rotten. I couldnтАЩt. You know, I didnтАЩt realize myself, Jane, how rotten it was until I had finished it.тАЭ + 

тАЬNo,тАЭ said Jane. тАЬNobody ever does. FortunatelyтБатАФor nothing ever would be finished. Show it to Radmaager. What he says will be interesting, at all events.тАЭ + 

Vernon yielded rather grudgingly. + 

тАЬHeтАЩll think it such awful cheek.тАЭ + 

тАЬNo, he wonтАЩt. HeтАЩs a very high opinion of what Sebastian says, and Sebastian has always believed in you. Radmaager says that for so young a man, SebastianтАЩs judgment is amazing.тАЭ + 

тАЬGood old Sebastian! HeтАЩs wonderful,тАЭ said Vernon warmly. тАЬNearly everything heтАЩs done has been a success. Shekels are rolling in. God! how I envy him sometimes.тАЭ + 

тАЬYou neednтАЩt. HeтАЩs not such a very happy person, really.тАЭ + 

тАЬYou mean Joe? Oh, that will all come right.тАЭ + 

тАЬI wonder. Vernon, do you see much of Joe?тАЭ + 

тАЬA fair amount. Not as much as I used to. I canтАЩt stand that queer artistic set sheтАЩs drifted intoтБатАФtheir hairтАЩs all wrong and they look unwashed and they talk what seems to me the most arrant drivel. TheyтАЩre not a bit like your crowdтБатАФthe people who really do things.тАЭ + 

тАЬWeтАЩre what Sebastian would call the successful commercial propositions. All the same, IтАЩm worried about Joe. IтАЩm afraid sheтАЩs going to do something foolish.тАЭ + 

тАЬThat bounder La Marre, you mean?тАЭ + 

тАЬYes, I mean that bounder, La Marre. HeтАЩs clever with women, you know, Vernon. Some men are.тАЭ + 

тАЬYou think sheтАЩd go off with him or something? Of course Joe is a damned fool in some ways.тАЭ He looked curiously at Jane. тАЬBut I should have thought youтБатАФтАЭ + 

He stopped, suddenly crimson. Jane looked very faintly amused. + 

тАЬYou really neednтАЩt be embarrassed by my morals.тАЭ + 

тАЬI wasnтАЩt. I meanтБатАФIтАЩve always wonderedтБатАФoh! IтАЩve wondered such an awful lot.тБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

His voice died away. There was silence. Jane sat very upright. She did not look at Vernon. She looked straight ahead of her. Presently, in a quiet even voice, she began to speak. She spoke quite unemotionally and evenly, as though recounting something that had happened to someone else. It was a cold concise recital of horror, and to Vernon the most dreadful thing about it was her own detached calm. She spoke as a scientist might speak, impersonally. + 

He buried his face in his hands. + 

Jane brought her recital to an end. Her quiet voice ceased. + 

Vernon said in a low shuddering voice: + 

тАЬAnd you lived through that? IтБатАФI didnтАЩt know that such things were.тАЭ + 

Jane said calmly: тАЬHe was a Russian and a degenerate. ItтАЩs hard for an Anglo-Saxon to understand that peculiar refined lust of cruelty. You understand brutality. You donтАЩt understand anything else.тАЭ + 

Vernon said, feeling childish and awkward as he put the question: тАЬYouтБатАФyou loved him very much?тАЭ + 

She shook her head slowly, began to speak, and then stopped. + 

тАЬWhy dissect the past?тАЭ she said, after a minute or two. тАЬHe did some fine work. ThereтАЩs a thing of his in the South Kensington. ItтАЩs macabre, but itтАЩs good.тАЭ + 

Then she began once more to talk of The Princess in the Tower. + 

Vernon went to the South Kensington two days later. He found the solitary representation of Boris AndrovтАЩs work easily enough. A drowned womanтБатАФthe face was horrible, puffed, bloated, decomposed, but the body was beautifulтБатАКтБатАж a lovely body. Vernon knew instinctively that it was JaneтАЩs body. + 

He stood looking down on the bronze nude figure, with arms spread wide and long lank hair reaching out mournfullyтБатАКтБатАж + 

Such a beautiful bodyтБатАКтБатАж JaneтАЩs body. Androv had modelled that nude body from her. + 

For the first time for years a queer remembrance of the Beast came over him. He felt afraid. + 

He turned quickly away from the beautiful bronze figure and left the building hurriedly, almost running. + 

III + 

It was the first night of RadmaagerтАЩs new opera, Peer Gynt. Vernon was going to it and had been asked by Radmaager to attend a supper party afterwards. He was dining first with Nell at her motherтАЩs house. She was not coming to the opera. + 

Much to NellтАЩs surprise, Vernon did not turn up to dinner. They waited some time, and then began without him. He arrived just as dessert was being put on the table. + 

тАЬIтАЩm most awfully sorry, Mrs.┬аVereker. I canтАЩt tell you how sorry I am. Something veryтБатАФvery unexpected occurred. IтАЩll tell you later.тАЭ + 

His face was so white and he was so obviously upset that Mrs.┬аVereker forgot her annoyance. She was always a tactful woman of the world and she treated the present situation with her usual discretion. + 

тАЬWell,тАЭ she said, rising, тАЬnow you are here, Vernon, you can talk to Nell. If youтАЩre going to the opera you wonтАЩt have much time.тАЭ + 

She left the room. Nell looked inquiringly at Vernon. He answered her look. + 

тАЬJoeтАЩs gone off with La Marre.тАЭ + 

тАЬOh, Vernon, she hasnтАЩt!тАЭ + 

тАЬShe has.тАЭ + 

тАЬDo you mean that she has eloped? That sheтАЩs married him? That theyтАЩve run away to get married?тАЭ + 

Vernon said grimly: тАЬHe canтАЩt marry her. HeтАЩs got a wife already.тАЭ + 

тАЬOh, Vernon, how awful! How could she?тАЭ + 

тАЬJoe was always wrongheaded. SheтАЩll regret thisтБатАФI know she will. I donтАЩt believe she really cares for him.тАЭ + 

тАЬWhat about Sebastian? WonтАЩt he feel this terribly?тАЭ + 

тАЬYes, poor devil. IтАЩve been with him now. HeтАЩs absolutely broken up over it. IтАЩd no idea how much he cared for Joe.тАЭ + 

тАЬI know he did.тАЭ + 

тАЬYou see, there were the three of usтБатАФalways. Joe and I and Sebastian. We belonged together.тАЭ + 

A faint pang of jealousy shot through Nell. Vernon repeated: + 

тАЬThe three of us. ItтАЩsтБатАФOh! I donтАЩt know. I feel as though IтАЩd been to blame in some way. IтАЩve let myself get out of touch with Joe. Dear old Joe, she was so staunch alwaysтБатАФbetter than any sister could be. It hurts me to think of the things she used to say when she was a kidтБатАФhow sheтАЩd never have anything to do with men. And now sheтАЩs come a mucker like this.тАЭ + 

Nell said in a shocked voice: + 

тАЬA married man. ThatтАЩs what makes it so awful. Had he any children?тАЭ + 

тАЬHow should I know anything about his beastly children?тАЭ + 

тАЬVernonтБатАФdonтАЩt be so cross.тАЭ + 

тАЬSorry, Nell. IтАЩm upset, thatтАЩs all.тАЭ + 

тАЬHow could she do such a thing,тАЭ said Nell. She had always rather resented JoeтАЩs unspoken contempt of which she had been subconsciously aware. She would not have been human had she not felt a faint sense of superiority. тАЬTo run away with anyone married! ItтАЩs dreadful!тАЭ + 

тАЬWell, she had courage, anyway,тАЭ said Vernon. + 

He felt a sudden passionate desire to defend JoeтБатАФJoe who belonged to Abbots Puissants and the old days. + 

тАЬCourage?тАЭ said Nell. + 

тАЬYes, courage!тАЭ said Vernon. тАЬAt any rate she wasnтАЩt prudent. She didnтАЩt count the cost. SheтАЩs chucked away everything in the world for love. ThatтАЩs more than some people will do.тАЭ + 

тАЬVernon!тАЭ + 

She got up, breathing hard. + 

тАЬWell, itтАЩs true.тАЭ All his smouldering resentment came bursting out. тАЬYou wonтАЩt even face a little discomfort for me, Nell. YouтАЩre always saying тАШWaitтАЩ and тАШLetтАЩs be careful.тАЩ You arenтАЩt capable of chucking everything to the winds for love of anyone.тАЭ + 

тАЬOh! Vernon, how cruel you areтБатАКтБатАж how cruel!тАЭ + 

He saw the tears come into her eyes and was immediately all compunction. + 

тАЬOh! Nell, I didnтАЩt mean itтБатАФI didnтАЩt mean it, sweetheart.тАЭ + 

His arms went round her, held her to him. Her sobs lessened. He glanced at his watch. + 

тАЬDamn! I must go. Good night, Nell darling. You do love me, donтАЩt you?тАЭ + 

тАЬYes, of courseтБатАФof course I do.тАЭ + 

He kissed her once more, hurried off. She sat down again by the disordered dinner table. Sat there, lost in thought.тБатАКтБатАж + 

IV + 

He got to Covent Garden late. Peer Gynt had begun. The scene was IngridтАЩs wedding and Vernon arrived just at the moment of the first brief meeting of Peer and Solveig. He wondered if Jane were nervous. She managed to look marvellously young with her fair plaits and her innocent calm bearing. She looked nineteen. The act ended with the carrying off of Ingrid by Peer. + 

Vernon found himself interested less in the music than in Jane. Tonight was JaneтАЩs ordeal. She had to make good or go under. Vernon knew how anxious she was, above everything else, to justify RadmaagerтАЩs trust in her. + 

Presently he knew that all was well. Jane was the perfect Solveig. Her voice, clear and trueтБатАФthe crystal thread, as Radmaager had called itтБатАФsang unfalteringly and her acting was wonderful. The calm steadfast personality of Solveig dominated the opera. + 

Vernon found himself for the first time interested in the story of the weak, storm-torn Peer, the coward who ran from reality at every opportunity. The music of PeerтАЩs conflict with the great Boyg stirred him, reminding him of his childish terror of the Beast. It was the same formless bogey fear of childhood. Unseen, SolveigтАЩs clear voice delivered him from it. The scene in the forest where Solveig comes to Peer was infinitely beautiful, ending with Peer bidding Solveig remain while he went out to take up his burden. Her reply: тАЬIf it is so heavy it is best two should share it.тАЭ And then PeerтАЩs departure, his final evasion: тАЬBring sorrow on her? No. Go roundabout, Peer, go roundabout.тАЭ + 

The Whitsuntide music was the most beautiful, but in atmosphere very Radmaagian, Vernon thought. It led up to and prepared for the effect of the final scene. The weary Peer asleep with his head on SolveigтАЩs lap, and Solveig, her hair silvered, a Madonna blue cloak round her in the middle of the stage, her head silhouetted against the rising sun, singing valiantly against the buttonsтАЩ moulder. + 

It was a wonderful duetтБатАФChavaranov, the famous Russian bass, his voice deepening and deepening, and Jane, with her silver thread singing steadily upward and ever upward, higher and higherтБатАФtill the last note was left to herтБатАФhigh and incredibly pure.тБатАКтБатАж And the sun rose.тБатАКтБатАж + 

Vernon, feeling boyishly important, went behind afterwards. The opera had been a terrific success. The applause had been long and enthusiastic. He found Radmaager holding Jane by the hand and kissing her with artistic fervour and thoroughness. + 

тАЬYou are an angelтБатАФyou are magnificentтБатАФyes, magnificent! You are an artist. Ah!тАЭ he burst into a torrent of words in his native language, then reverted to English. тАЬI will reward youтБатАФyes, little one, I will reward you. I know very well how to do it. I will persuade the long Sebastian. Together we willтБатАФтАЭ + 

тАЬHush,тАЭ said Jane. + 

Vernon came forward awkwardly, said shyly: тАЬIt was splendid!тАЭ + 

He squeezed JaneтАЩs hand, and she gave him a brief affectionate smile. + 

тАЬWhereтАЩs Sebastian? WasnтАЩt he here just now?тАЭ + 

Sebastian was no longer to be seen. Vernon volunteered to go in search of him and bring him along to supper. He said vaguely that he thought he knew where he was. Jane knew nothing of the news about Joe, and he didnтАЩt see how he could tell her at the moment. + 

He got a taxi and drove to SebastianтАЩs house, but did not find him. Vernon wondered if perhaps Sebastian might be at his own rooms where he had left him earlier in the evening. He drove there straight away. He was feeling suddenly elated and triumphant. Even Joe did not seem to matter for the moment. He felt suddenly convinced that his own work was goodтБатАФor rather that it would be some day. And somehow or other he also felt that things were coming right with Nell. She had clung to him differently tonightтБатАФmore closelyтБатАФmore as though she could not bear to let him go.тБатАКтБатАж Yes, he was sure of it. Everything was coming right. + 

He ran up the stairs to his room. It was in darkness. Sebastian was not here then. He switched on the lightтБатАФlooked round. A note lay on the table, sent by hand. He picked it up. It was addressed to him in NellтАЩs handwriting. He tore it open.тБатАКтБатАж + 

He stood there a long time. Then, carefully and methodically he drew up a chair to the table, setting it very exactly straight, as though that were important, and sat down holding the note in his hand. He read it again for the tenth or eleventh time: + 

Dearest VernonтБатАФforgive meтБатАФplease forgive me. I am going to marry George Chetwynd. I donтАЩt love him like I love you, but I shall be safe with him. AgainтБатАФdo forgive meтБатАФplease. + 

He said aloud: тАЬSafe with him. What does she mean by that? SheтАЩd have been safe with me. Safe with him? That hurts.тБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

He sat there. Minutes passed.тБатАКтБатАж Hours passed.тБатАКтБатАж He sat there, motionless, almost unable to think.тБатАКтБатАж Once the thought rose dully in his brain, тАЬWas this how Sebastian felt? I didnтАЩt understand.тБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

When he heard a rustle in the doorway he didnтАЩt look up. His first sight of Jane was when she came round the table, dropped on her knees beside him. + 

тАЬVernon, my dear, what is it? I knew there was something when you didnтАЩt come to the supper. I came to see.тАЭ + 

Dully, mechanically, he held out the note to her. She took it and read it. She laid it down again on the table. + 

He said in a dull bewildered voice: тАЬShe neednтАЩt have said that about not being safe with me. She would have been safe with me.тАЭ + 

тАЬOh, VernonтБатАФmy dearтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

Her arms went round him. He clutched at her suddenlyтБатАФa frightened clutch such as a child might give at its mother. A sob burst from his throat. He laid his face down on the gleaming white skin of her neck. + 

тАЬOh! JaneтБатАКтБатАж JaneтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

She held him closer. She stroked his hair. He murmured: + 

тАЬStay with meтБатАКтБатАж Stay with meтБатАКтБатАж DonтАЩt leave meтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

She answered: тАЬI wonтАЩt leave you. ItтАЩs all right.тАЭ + 

Her voice was tenderтБатАФmotherly. Something broke in him like the breaking of a dam. Ideas swirled and rushed through his head. His father kissing Winnie at Abbots PuissantsтБатАКтБатАж the statue in the South KensingtonтБатАКтБатАж JaneтАЩs bodyтБатАКтБатАж her beautiful body. + 

He said hoarsely: тАЬStay with meтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

Her arms round him, her lips on his forehead, she murmured back: тАЬIтАЩll stay with you, dear.тАЭ + 

Like a mother to a child. + 

He wrenched himself suddenly free. + 

тАЬNot like that. Not like that. Like this.тАЭ + 

His lips fastened on hersтБатАФfiercely, hungrilyтБатАФhis hand clutched at the roundness of her breast. HeтАЩd always wanted herтБатАФalways. He knew it now. It was her body he wanted, that beautiful gracious body that Boris Androv had known so well. + 

He said again: тАЬStay with me.тАЭ + 

There was a long pauseтБатАФit seemed to him as though minutes, hours, years passed before she answered: + 

She said: тАЬIтАЩll stayтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

IV + 

I + 

On a day in July Sebastian Levinne walked along the Embankment in the direction of JaneтАЩs flat. It was a day more suggestive of early spring than of summer. A cold wind blew the dust in his face and made him blink. + 

There was a change visible in Sebastian. He had grown perceptibly older. There was very little of the boy about him nowтБатАФthere never had been much. He had always had that curious maturity of outlook which is the Semitic inheritance. As he walked along now, frowning to himself and pondering, he would easily have been taken for a man over thirty. + 

Jane herself opened the door of the flat to him. She spoke in a low, unusually husky voice. + 

тАЬVernonтАЩs out. He couldnтАЩt wait for you. You said three, you know, and itтАЩs past four now.тАЭ + 

тАЬI was kept. Just as well, perhaps. IтАЩm never quite sure of the best way of dealing with VernonтАЩs nerves.тАЭ + 

тАЬDonтАЩt tell me any fresh crises have arisen? I couldnтАЩt bear it.тАЭ + 

тАЬOh youтАЩll get used to them. IтАЩve had to. WhatтАЩs the matter with your voice, Jane?тАЭ + 

тАЬA cold. A throat, rather. ItтАЩs all right. IтАЩm nursing it.тАЭ + 

тАЬMy God! And The Princess in the Tower tomorrow night. Suppose you canтАЩt sing.тАЭ + 

тАЬOh! I shall sing. DonтАЩt be afraid. Only donтАЩt mind my whispering. I want to save it every bit I can.тАЭ + 

тАЬOf course. YouтАЩve seen someone, I suppose?тАЭ + 

тАЬMy usual man in Harley Street.тАЭ + 

тАЬWhat did he say?тАЭ + 

тАЬThe usual things.тАЭ + 

тАЬHe didnтАЩt forbid you to sing tomorrow?тАЭ + 

тАЬOh! no.тАЭ + 

тАЬYouтАЩre an awfully good liar, arenтАЩt you, Jane?тАЭ + 

тАЬI thought it would save trouble. But I might have known it would be no good with you. IтАЩll be honest. He warned me that IтАЩd been persistently overstraining my voice for years. He said it was madness to sing tomorrow night. But I donтАЩt care.тАЭ + 

тАЬMy dear Jane, IтАЩm not going to risk your losing your voice.тАЭ + 

тАЬMind your own business, Sebastian. My voice is my affair. I donтАЩt interfere in your concerns, donтАЩt interfere in mine.тАЭ + 

Sebastian grinned. + 

тАЬThe tiger cat at home,тАЭ he remarked. тАЬBut you mustnтАЩt, Jane, all the same. Does Vernon know?тАЭ + 

тАЬOf course not. What do you think? And youтАЩre not to tell him, Sebastian.тАЭ + 

тАЬI donтАЩt interfere really,тАЭ said Sebastian. тАЬI never have. But Jane dear, it will be ten thousand pities. The operaтАЩs not worth it. And VernonтАЩs not worth it either. Be angry with me if you like for saying so.тАЭ + 

тАЬWhy should I be angry with you? ItтАЩs the truth, and I know it. All the same, IтАЩm going through with it. Call me any kind of a conceited egoist you like, but The Princess in the Tower wonтАЩt be a success without me. IтАЩve been a success as Isolde and a furore in Solveig. ItтАЩs my moment. And itтАЩs going to be VernonтАЩs moment too. I can at least do that for him.тАЭ + 

He heard the undercurrent of feeling, the unconscious betrayal of that тАЬat least,тАЭ but not by a muscle of his face did he show that he had realized its significance. He only said again very gently: тАЬHeтАЩs not worth it, Jane. Paddle your own canoe. ItтАЩs the only way. YouтАЩve arrived. Vernon hasnтАЩt and may never.тАЭ + 

тАЬI know. I know. No oneтАЩs what you call тАШworth itтАЩтБатАФexcept perhaps one person.тАЭ + 

тАЬWho?тАЭ + 

тАЬYou, Sebastian. YouтАЩre worth itтБатАФand yet itтАЩs not for you IтАЩm doing it!тАЭ + 

Sebastian was surprised and touched. A sudden mist came over his eyes. He stretched out his hand and took JaneтАЩs. They sat for a minute or two in silence. + 

тАЬThat was nice of you, Jane,тАЭ he said at last. + 

тАЬWell, itтАЩs true. YouтАЩre worth a dozen of Vernon. YouтАЩve got brains, initiative, strength of characterтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

Her husky voice died away. After another minute or two, he said very gently: + 

тАЬHow are things? Much as usual?тАЭ + 

тАЬYes, I think so. You know Mrs.┬аDeyre came to see me?тАЭ + 

тАЬNo, I didnтАЩt. What did she want?тАЭ + 

тАЬShe came to beg me to give up her boy. Pointed out how I was ruining his life. Only a really bad woman would do what I was doing. And so on. You can guess the kind of thing.тАЭ + 

тАЬAnd what did you say to her?тАЭ asked Sebastian curiously. + 

Jane shrugged her shoulders. + 

тАЬWhat could I say? That to Vernon one harlot was as good as another?тАЭ + 

тАЬOh! my dear,тАЭ said Sebastian gently. тАЬIs it as bad as that?тАЭ + 

Jane got up, lighted a cigarette and walked restlessly about the room. Sebastian noticed how haggard her face had become. + 

тАЬIs heтБатАФmore or less all right?тАЭ he ventured. + 

тАЬHe drinks too much,тАЭ said Jane curtly. + 

тАЬCanтАЩt you prevent it?тАЭ + 

тАЬNo, I canтАЩt.тАЭ + 

тАЬItтАЩs queer. I should have thought you would always have great influence over Vernon.тАЭ + 

тАЬWell, I havenтАЩt. Not now.тАЭ She was silent for a moment and then said: тАЬNellтАЩs being married in the autumn, isnтАЩt she?тАЭ + 

тАЬYes. Do you think things will beтБатАФbetter then?тАЭ + 

тАЬI havenтАЩt the least idea.тАЭ + 

тАЬI wish to God heтАЩd pull up,тАЭ said Sebastian. тАЬIf you canтАЩt keep him straight, Jane, nobody can. Of course, itтАЩs in the blood.тАЭ + 

She came and sat down again. + 

тАЬTell meтБатАФtell me everything you know. About his peopleтБатАФhis father, his mother.тАЭ + 

Sebastian gave a succinct account of the Deyres. Jane listened. + 

тАЬHis mother youтАЩve seen,тАЭ he concluded. тАЬQueer, isnтАЩt it, that Vernon doesnтАЩt seem to have inherited one single thing from her? HeтАЩs a Deyre through and through. They are all artistic, musical, weak-willed, self-indulgent, and attractive to women. HeredityтАЩs an odd thing.тАЭ + 

тАЬI donтАЩt quite agree with you,тАЭ said Jane. тАЬVernonтАЩs not like his mother, but he has inherited something from her.тАЭ + 

тАЬWhat?тАЭ + 

тАЬVitality. SheтАЩs an extraordinarily fine animalтБатАФhave you ever thought of her that way? Well, VernonтАЩs inherited some of that. Without it heтАЩd never have been a composer. If he was a Deyre pure and simple, heтАЩd only have dallied with music. ItтАЩs the Bent force that gives him the power to create. You say his grandfather built up their business single-handed. Well, thereтАЩs the same thing in Vernon.тАЭ + 

тАЬI wonder if youтАЩre right.тАЭ + 

тАЬIтАЩm sure I am.тАЭ + 

Sebastian considered silently for some minutes. + 

тАЬIs it only drink?тАЭ he said at last. тАЬOr is itтБатАФwell, I mean, are thereтБатАФother people?тАЭ + 

тАЬOh! there are others.тАЭ + 

тАЬAnd you donтАЩt mind?тАЭ + 

тАЬMind? Mind? Of course I mind. What do you think IтАЩm made of, Sebastian? IтАЩm nearly killed with minding.тБатАКтБатАж But what can I do? Make scenes? Rant and rave and drive Vernon away from me altogether?тАЭ + 

Her beautiful husky voice rose from its whisper. Sebastian made a quick gesture and she stopped. + 

тАЬYouтАЩre right. I must be careful.тАЭ + 

тАЬI canтАЩt understand it,тАЭ grumbled Sebastian. тАЬEven his music doesnтАЩt seem to mean anything to Vernon now. HeтАЩs taken every suggestion from Radmaager and been like a lamb. ItтАЩs unnatural!тАЭ + 

тАЬWe must wait. It will come back. ItтАЩs reactionтБатАФreaction and Nell together. I canтАЩt help feeling that if The Princess in the Tower is a success, Vernon will pull himself together. He must feel a certain prideтБатАФa sense of achievement.тАЭ + 

тАЬI hope so,тАЭ said Sebastian heavily. тАЬBut IтАЩm a bit worried about the future.тАЭ + 

тАЬIn what way? What are you afraid of?тАЭ + 

тАЬWar.тАЭ + 

Jane looked at him in astonishment. She could hardly believe her ears. She thought she must have mistaken the word. + 

тАЬWar?тАЭ + 

тАЬYes. The outcome of this Sarajevo business.тАЭ + 

It still seemed to Jane a little absurd and ridiculous. + 

тАЬWar with whom?тАЭ + 

тАЬGermanyтБатАФprincipally.тАЭ + 

тАЬOh! surely, Sebastian. Such aтБатАФaтБатАФfaraway thing.тАЭ + 

тАЬWhat does the pretext matter?тАЭ said Sebastian impatiently. тАЬItтАЩs the way money has been going. Money talks. I handle moneyтБатАФour relations in Russia handle money. We know. From the way money has been behaving for some time, we can guess what is in the wind. WarтАЩs coming, Jane.тАЭ + 

Jane looked at him and changed her mind. Sebastian was in earnest and Sebastian usually knew what he was talking about. If he said war was coming, then, fantastic as it seemed, war would come. + 

Sebastian sat still, lost in thought. Money, investments, various loans, financial responsibilities he had undertaken, the future of his theatres, the policy to be adopted by the weekly paper he owned. Then, of course, there would be fighting. He was the son of a naturalized Englishman. He didnтАЩt wish in the least to go and fight, but he supposed it would be necessary. Everyone below a certain age would do so as a matter of course. It was not the danger that worried him, it was the annoyance of leaving his pet schemes to be looked after by someone else. тАЬTheyтАЩll make a mess of it, sure to,тАЭ thought Sebastian bitterly. He put the war down as being a long jobтБатАФtwo years, perhaps more. In the end, he shouldnтАЩt wonder if America was dragged into it. + 

The Government would issue loansтБатАФwar loans would be a good investment. No highbrow stuff for the theatresтБатАФsoldiers on leave would want light comedyтБатАФpretty girlsтБатАФlegsтБатАФdancing. He thought it all out carefully. It was a good thing to get a chance to think uninterruptedly. Being with Jane was like being alone. She always knew when you didnтАЩt want to be spoken to. + 

He looked across at her. She, too, was thinking. He wondered what she was thinking aboutтБатАФyou never quite knew with Jane. She and Vernon were alike thereтБатАФdidnтАЩt tell her thoughts. She was probably thinking about Vernon. If Vernon should go to the war and be killed! But noтБатАФthat mustnтАЩt be. SebastianтАЩs artistic soul rebelled. Vernon mustnтАЩt be killed. + 

II + 

The production of The Princess in the Tower has been forgotten by now. It came at an unfortunate time, since war broke out only about three weeks later. + 

At the time it was what is called тАЬwell received.тАЭ Certain critics waxed a little sarcastic over this тАЬnew school of young musiciansтАЭ who thought they could revolutionize all existing ideas. Others praised it with sincerity as a work of great promise, though immature. But one and all spoke enthusiastically of the perfect beauty and artistry of the whole performance. Everyone тАЬwent to Holborn, such miles out of the way, dear, but really worth itтАЭ to see the attractive fantastic drama, and тАЬthat wonderful new singer, Jane Harding. Her face, dear, is simply wonderfulтБатАФquite medieval. It wouldnтАЩt be the same without her!тАЭ It was a triumph for Jane, though a triumph that was short lived. On the fifth day she was forced to retire from the cast. + 

Sebastian was summoned by telephone at an hour when Vernon would not be there. Jane met him with such a radiant smile that he thought at first that his fears were not going to be realized. + 

тАЬItтАЩs no good, Sebastian. Mary Lloyd must go on with it. SheтАЩs not too bad, considering. As a matter of fact, sheтАЩs got a better voice than I have and sheтАЩs quite nice-looking.тАЭ + 

тАЬHтАЩm, I was afraid Hershall would say that. IтАЩd like to see him myself.тАЭ + 

тАЬYes, he wants to see you. Not that thereтАЩs anything to be done, IтАЩm afraid.тАЭ + 

тАЬWhat do you mean? Nothing to be done?тАЭ + 

тАЬItтАЩs gone, my child. Gone for good. HershallтАЩs too honest to hold out any real hope. He says of course you never can be absolutely sure. It might come back with rest, etcetera, etcetera. He said it very well, and then I looked at him and laughedтБатАФand then he had to look shamefaced and own up. He was relieved, I think, at the way I took it.тАЭ + 

тАЬBut Jane, darling JaneтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

тАЬOh! donтАЩt mind so much, Sebastian. Please donтАЩt. ItтАЩs so much easier if you donтАЩt. ItтАЩs been a gamble, you know, all alongтБатАФmy voice was never really strong enough. I gambled with it. So far I wonтБатАФnow, IтАЩve lost. Well, there it is! One must be a good gambler and not let the hands twitch. IsnтАЩt that what they say at Monte Carlo?тАЭ + 

тАЬDoes Vernon know?тАЭ + 

тАЬYes, heтАЩs most awfully upset. He loved my voice. HeтАЩs really quite brokenhearted about it.тАЭ + 

тАЬBut he doesnтАЩt know thatтБатАФтАЭ + 

тАЬThat if I had waited two days, and not sung on the opening night of his opera, it would have been all right? No, he doesnтАЩt know that. And if you are loyal to me, Sebastian, he never will.тАЭ + 

тАЬI shanтАЩt make promises. I think he ought to know.тАЭ + 

тАЬNo, because really itтАЩs unwarrantable what IтАЩve done! IтАЩve laid him under an obligation to me without his knowledge. ThatтАЩs a thing one shouldnтАЩt do. It isnтАЩt fair. If I had gone to Vernon and told him what Hershall said, do you suppose he would ever have consented to let me sing? HeтАЩd have prevented me by main force. It would be the meanest and cruellest thing in the world to go to Vernon now and say: тАШSee what I have done for you!тАЩ Snivelling and asking for sympathy and gratitude ladled out in a soup plate.тАЭ + 

Sebastian was silent. + 

тАЬCome now, my dear, agree.тАЭ + 

тАЬYes,тАЭ said Sebastian at last. тАЬYouтАЩre right. What you did was unethical. You did it without VernonтАЩs knowledge, and itтАЩs got to be kept from him now. But oh! Jane darling, why did you? Is VernonтАЩs music worth it?тАЭ + 

тАЬIt will beтБатАФsome day.тАЭ + 

тАЬIs that why you did it?тАЭ + 

Jane shook her head. + 

тАЬI thought not.тАЭ + 

There was a pause. Sebastian said: + 

тАЬWhat will you do now, Jane?тАЭ + 

тАЬPossibly teach. Possibly go on the stage. I donтАЩt know. If the worst comes to the worst, I can always cook.тАЭ + 

They both laughed, but Jane was very near tears. + 

She looked across the table at Sebastian and then suddenly rose and came and knelt down beside him. She laid her head down on his shoulder and he put his arm round her. + 

тАЬOh! SebastianтБатАКтБатАж SebastianтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

тАЬPoor old Jane!тАЭ + 

тАЬI pretend I donтАЩt mindтБатАФbut I doтБатАКтБатАж I do. I loved singing. I loved it, loved it, loved it.тБатАКтБатАж That lovely Whitsuntide music of Solveig. I shall never sing it again.тАЭ + 

тАЬI know. Why were you such a fool, Jane?тАЭ + 

тАЬI donтАЩt know. Sheer idiocy.тАЭ + 

тАЬIf you had the choice againтБатАФтАЭ + 

тАЬIтАЩd do the same thing again.тАЭ + 

A silence. Then Jane lifted her head and said: + 

тАЬDo you remember saying, Sebastian, that I had great тАШdriving powerтАЩ? That nothing would turn me aside? And I said that I might be more easily turned aside than you thought. That between Vernon and me, I should go to the wall.тАЭ + 

Sebastian said: тАЬThings are queer.тАЭ + 

Jane slipped down on the floor beside him, her hand still in his. + 

тАЬYou can be clever,тАЭ said Sebastian, breaking the silence. тАЬYou can have the brains to foresee things, and the wits to plan things and the force to succeed, but with all the cleverness in the world you canтАЩt avoid suffering some way or another. ThatтАЩs whatтАЩs so odd. I know IтАЩve got brains, I know IтАЩll get to the top of anything I undertake. IтАЩm not like Vernon. Vernon will either be a heaven-sent genius, or else heтАЩll be an idle dissipated young man. HeтАЩs got a gift if heтАЩs got anything, IтАЩve got ability. And yet with all the ability in the world, I canтАЩt prevent myself getting hurt.тАЭ + 

тАЬNo one can.тАЭ + 

тАЬOne might, perhaps, if one gave up oneтАЩs whole life to it. If you pursued safety and nothing but safety, youтАЩd get your wings singed, perhaps, but that would be all. YouтАЩd build a nice smooth wall and hide yourself inside it.тАЭ + 

тАЬYouтАЩre thinking of somebody in particular? Who?тАЭ + 

тАЬJust a fancy. The future Mrs.┬аGeorge Chetwynd if you want to be exact.тАЭ + 

тАЬNell? Do you think Nell has the strength of character to shut herself out from life?тАЭ + 

тАЬOh, Nell has got an enormous power of developing protective colouring. Some species have.тАЭ He paused, then went on. тАЬJane, have you ever heard fromтБатАФJoe?тАЭ + 

тАЬYes, my dear, twice.тАЭ + 

тАЬWhat did she say?тАЭ + 

тАЬVery little. Just what fun everything was, and how she was enjoying herself, and how splendid one felt when one had had the courage to defy convention.тАЭ She paused and then added, тАЬSheтАЩs not happy, Sebastian.тАЭ + 

тАЬYou think not?тАЭ + 

тАЬIтАЩm sure of it.тАЭ + 

There was a long silence. Two unhappy faces looked into the empty fireplace. Outside taxis hooted as they sped rapidly down the Embankment. Life went on.тБатАКтБатАж + 

III + 

It was the ninth of August. Nell Vereker turned out of Paddington station and walked slowly down towards the park. Four-wheelers passed her with old ladies in them laden with many hams. Staring placards were flaunted at every street corner. In every shop was a queue of people anxious to buy commodities. + 

Nell had said to herself many times: тАЬWeтАЩre at warтБатАФactually at war,тАЭ and had not been able to believe it. Today, for the first time, it seemed to come home to her. A train journey where the ticket office refused to change a five pound note had proved the turning point. Ridiculous, but there it was. + 

A taxi passed and Nell hailed it. She got in, giving the address of JaneтАЩs flat in Chelsea. She glanced at her watch. It was just half-past ten. No fear that Jane would be out so early. + 

Nell went up in the lift and stood outside the door, having rung the bell. Her heart was beating nervously. In another minute the door would open. Her small face grew white and strained. Ah! now the door was opening. She and Jane were face to face. + 

She thought Jane started a littleтБатАФthat was all. + 

тАЬOh!тАЭ she said. тАЬItтАЩs you.тАЭ + 

тАЬYes,тАЭ said Nell. тАЬMay I come in, please?тАЭ + 

It seemed to her that Jane hesitated a minute before drawing back to let her enter. She retreated into the hall, shut a door at the far end and then drew open the sitting-room door for Nell to pass in. She followed her, closing the door behind her. + 

тАЬWell?тАЭ + 

тАЬJane, IтАЩve come to ask you if you know where Vernon is?тАЭ + 

тАЬVernon?тАЭ + 

тАЬYes. I went to his roomsтБатАФyesterday. HeтАЩs left. The woman there didnтАЩt know where heтАЩd gone. She said his letters were forwarded to you. I went home and wrote to you asking for his address. Then I was afraid you wouldnтАЩt tell me, wouldnтАЩt even answer, perhaps, and I thought IтАЩd come instead.тАЭ + 

тАЬI see.тАЭ + 

The tone was noncommittal, unhelpful. Nell hurried on. + 

тАЬI was sure youтАЩd know where he was. You do, donтАЩt you?тАЭ + 

тАЬYes, I know.тАЭ + 

A slow answer, unnecessarily slow, Nell thought. Either Jane knew or she didnтАЩt. + 

тАЬWell, then?тАЭ + 

Again a pause. Then Jane said: + 

тАЬWhy do you want to see Vernon, Nell?тАЭ + 

Nell raised a white face. + 

тАЬBecause IтАЩve been such a beastтБатАФsuch a beast! I see it nowтБатАФnow that this awful war has come. I was such a miserable coward. I hate myselfтБатАФsimply hate myself. Just because George was kind and good andтБатАФyes, rich! Oh, Jane, how you must despise me. I know you do. YouтАЩre quite right to despise me. Somehow this war has made everything clearтБатАФdonтАЩt you find that?тАЭ + 

тАЬNot particularly. There have been wars before and there will be wars again. They donтАЩt really alter anything underneath, you know.тАЭ + 

Nell was not paying attention. + 

тАЬItтАЩs wicked to do anything except marry the man you love. I do love Vernon. I always knew I loved him, but I just hadnтАЩt the courage.тБатАКтБатАж Oh, Jane, do you think itтАЩs too late? Perhaps it is. Perhaps he wonтАЩt want me now. But I must see him. Even if he doesnтАЩt want me, I must tell him.тАЭ + 

She stood there looking piteously up at Jane. Would Jane help her? If not, she must try SebastianтБатАФbut she was afraid of Sebastian. He might refuse flatly to do anything. + 

тАЬI could get hold of him for you,тАЭ said Jane slowly, after a minute or two. + 

тАЬOh, thank you, Jane. And JaneтБатАФtell meтБатАФthe war?тАЭ + 

тАЬHeтАЩs applied to join up, if thatтАЩs what you mean.тАЭ + 

тАЬYes. Oh! itтАЩs dreadfulтБатАФif he should be killed. But it canтАЩt last long. ItтАЩll be over by ChristmasтБатАФeverybody says so.тАЭ + 

тАЬSebastian says it will last two years.тАЭ + 

тАЬOh, but Sebastian canтАЩt know. HeтАЩs not really English. HeтАЩs Russian.тАЭ + 

Jane shook her head. Then she said: тАЬIтАЩll go andтБатАФтАЭ she pausedтБатАФтАЬtelephone. Wait here.тАЭ + 

She went out, closing the door behind her. She went to the end of the passage and into the bedroom. Vernon raised a dark rumpled head from the pillow. + 

тАЬGet up,тАЭ said Jane curtly. тАЬWash yourself and shave yourself and try and make yourself reasonably decent. NellтАЩs here and wants to see you.тАЭ + 

тАЬNell! ButтБатАФтАЭ + 

тАЬShe thinks IтАЩm telephoning to you. When youтАЩre ready, you can go outside the front door and ring the bellтБатАФand may God have mercy on both our souls.тАЭ + 

тАЬBut Jane. NellтБатАКтБатАж what does she want?тАЭ + 

тАЬIf you still want to marry her, Vernon, now is your chance.тАЭ + 

тАЬBut IтАЩll have to tell herтБатАФтАЭ + 

тАЬWhat? That youтАЩve been leading a тАШgay life,тАЩ that youтАЩve been тАШwildтАЩ? All the usual euphemisms! ThatтАЩs all sheтАЩll expectтБатАФand sheтАЩll be grateful to you for laying as little stress on that as possible. But tell her about you and meтБатАФand you bring it from the general to the particularтБатАФand take the child through hell. Muzzle that noble conscience of yours and think of her.тАЭ + 

Vernon rose slowly from the bed. + 

тАЬI donтАЩt understand you, Jane.тАЭ + 

тАЬNo, probably you never will.тАЭ + 

He said: тАЬHas Nell thrown over George Chetwynd?тАЭ + 

тАЬI havenтАЩt asked for details. IтАЩm going back to her now. Hurry up.тАЭ + 

She left the room. Vernon thought, тАЬIтАЩve never understood Jane. I never shall. SheтАЩs so damned disconcerting. Well, I suppose IтАЩve been a sort of passing amusement to her. No, thatтАЩs ungrateful. SheтАЩs been damned decent to me. Nobody could have been more decent than Jane has been. But I couldnтАЩt make Nell understand that. SheтАЩd think Jane was dreadful.тБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

As he shaved and washed rapidly he said to himself: тАЬAll the same, itтАЩs out of the question. Nell and I could never come together again. Oh! I donтАЩt suppose thereтАЩs any question of that. SheтАЩs probably only come to ask me to forgive her, to make her feel comfortable in case I get killed in this bloody war. The sort of thing a girl would do. Anyway, I donтАЩt believe I care any more.тАЭ + 

Another voice, deep down, said ironically, тАЬOh! no, not at all. Then why is your heart beating and your hand shaking? You bloody ass, of course you care!тАЭ + 

He was ready. He went outsideтБатАФrang the bell. A mean subterfugeтБатАФunworthyтБатАФhe felt ashamed. Jane opened the door. She said, rather like a parlourmaid, тАЬIn here,тАЭ and waved him towards the sitting-room. He went in, closing the door behind him. + 

Nell had risen at his entrance. She stood with her hands clasped in front of her. + 

Her voice came faint and weak, like a guilty child. + 

тАЬOh! VernonтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ + 

Time swept backwards. He was in the boat at CambridgeтБатАКтБатАж on the bridge at Ranelagh. He forgot Jane, he forgot everything. He and Nell were the only people in the world. + 

тАЬNell!тАЭ + 

They were clinging together, breathless as though they had been running. Words tumbled from NellтАЩs lips. + 

тАЬVernonтБатАФif you wantтБатАФI do love youтБатАФOh! I do.тБатАКтБатАж IтАЩll marry you any timeтБатАФat onceтБатАФtoday. I donтАЩt mind about being poor or anything!тАЭ + 

He lifted her off her feet, kissed her eyes, her hair, her lips. + 

тАЬDarlingтБатАФoh! darling. DonтАЩt letтАЩs waste a minuteтБатАФnot a minute. I donтАЩt know how you get married. IтАЩve never thought about it. But letтАЩs go out and see. WeтАЩll go to the Archbishop of CanterburyтБатАФisnтАЩt that what you do? and get a special licence? How the devil do you get married?тАЭ + 

тАЬWe might ask a clergyman?тАЭ + 

тАЬOr thereтАЩs a Registry Office. ThatтАЩs the thing.тАЭ + 

тАЬI donтАЩt think I want to be married at a Registry Office. IтАЩd feel rather like a cook or a house parlourmaid being engaged.тАЭ + 

тАЬI donтАЩt think itтАЩs that kind, darling. But if youтАЩd rather be married in a church, letтАЩs be married in a church. There are thousands of churches in London, all with nothing to do. IтАЩm sure one of them will love to marry us.тАЭ + 

They went out together, laughing happily. Vernon had forgotten everythingтБатАФremorse, conscience, Jane.тБатАКтБатАж + 

At half-past two that afternoon Vernon Deyre and Eleanor Vereker were married in the church of St.┬аEthelredтАЩs, Chelsea. + 