VI
I
If Vernon had been capable of summing up the events of the next few years, he could best have done it in one wordтБатАФscenes! Everlasting and ever-recurring scenes.
And he began to notice a curious phenomenon. After each scene his mother looked larger and his father looked smaller. Emotional storms of reproach and invective exhilarated Myra mentally and physically. She emerged from them refreshed, soothedтБатАФfull of good will towards all the world.
With Walter Deyre it was the opposite. He shrank into himself, every sensitive fibre in his nature shrinking from the onslaught. The faint polite sarcasm that was his weapon of defence never failed to goad his wife to the utmost fury. His quiet weary self-control exasperated her as nothing else could have done.
Not that she was lacking for very real grounds of complaint. Walter Deyre spent less and less time at Abbots Puissants. When he did return his eyes had baggy pouches under them and his hand shook. He took little notice of Vernon, and yet the child was always conscious of an underlying sympathy. It was tacitly understood that Walter should not тАЬinterfereтАЭ with the child. A mother was the person who should have the say. Apart from supervising the boyтАЩs riding, Walter stood aside. Not to do so would have roused fresh matter for discussion and reproach. He was ready to admit that Myra had all the virtues and was a most careful and attentive mother.
And yet he sometimes had the feeling that he could give the boy something that she could not. The trouble was that they were both shy of each other. To neither of them was it easy to express their feelingsтБатАФa thing Myra would have found incomprehensible. They remained gravely polite to each other.
But when a scene was in progress, Vernon was full of silent sympathy. He knew exactly how his father was feelingтБатАФknew how that loud angry voice hurt the ears and the head. He knew, of course, that Mummy must be rightтБатАФMummy was always right, that was an article of belief not to be questionedтБатАФbut all the same, he was unconsciously on his fatherтАЩs side.
Things went from bad to worseтБатАФcame to a crisis. Mummy remained locked in her room for two daysтБатАФservants whispered delightedly in cornersтБатАФand Uncle Sydney arrived on the scene to see what he could do.
Uncle Sydney undoubtedly had a soothing influence over Myra. He walked up and down the room, jingling his money as of old, and looking stouter and more rubicund than ever.
Myra poured out her woes.
тАЬYes, yes, I know,тАЭ said Uncle Sydney, jingling hard. тАЬI know, my dear girl. IтАЩm not saying you havenтАЩt had a lot to put up with. You have. Nobody knows that better than I do. But thereтАЩs give and take, you know. Give and take. ThatтАЩs married life in a nutshellтБатАФgive and take.тАЭ
There was a fresh outburst from Myra.
тАЬIтАЩm not sticking up for Deyre,тАЭ said Uncle Sydney. тАЬNot at all. IтАЩm just looking at the whole thing as a man of the world. Women lead sheltered lives and they donтАЩt look at these things as men doтБатАФquite right that they shouldnтАЩt. YouтАЩre a good woman, Myra, and itтАЩs always hard for a good woman to understand these things. CarrieтАЩs just the same.тАЭ
тАЬWhat has Carrie got to put up with, I should like to know?тАЭ cried Myra. тАЬYou donтАЩt go off racketing round with disgusting women. You donтАЩt make love to the servants.тАЭ
тАЬNтАСno,тАЭ said her brother. тАЬNo, of course not. ItтАЩs the principle of the thing IтАЩm talking about. And mind you, Carrie and I donтАЩt see eye to eye over everything. We have our tiffsтБатАФwhy sometimes we donтАЩt speak to each other for two days on end. But bless you, we make it up again, and things go on better than before. A good row clears the airтБатАФthatтАЩs what I say. But there must be give and take. And no nagging afterwards. The best man in the world wonтАЩt stand nagging.тАЭ
тАЬI never nag,тАЭ said Myra tearfully, and believed it. тАЬHow can you say such a thing?тАЭ
тАЬNow donтАЩt get the wind up, old girl. IтАЩm not saying you do. IтАЩm just laying down general principles. And remember, DeyreтАЩs not our sort. HeтАЩs kittle cattleтБатАФthe touchy sensitive kind. A mere trifle sets them off.тАЭ
тАЬDonтАЩt I know it,тАЭ said Myra bitterly. тАЬHeтАЩs impossible. Why did I ever marry him?тАЭ
тАЬWell, you know, Sis, you canтАЩt have it both ways. It was a good match. IтАЩm bound to admit it was a good match. Here you are, living in a swell place, knowing all the county, as good as anybody short of royalty. My word, if poor old Dad had lived, how proud heтАЩd have been! And what IтАЩm getting at is thisтБатАФeverythingтАЩs got its seamy side. You canтАЩt have the halfpence without one or two of the kicks as well. TheyтАЩre decadent, these old families, thatтАЩs what they areтБатАФdecadent, and youтАЩve just got to face the fact. YouтАЩve just got to sum up the situation in a businesslike wayтБатАФadvantages, so-and-so; disadvantages ditto. ItтАЩs the only way. Take my word for it, itтАЩs the only way.тАЭ
тАЬI didnтАЩt marry him for the sake of тАШadvantagesтАЩ as you call it,тАЭ said Myra. тАЬI hate this place. I always have. ItтАЩs because of Abbots Puissants he married meтБатАФnot for myself.тАЭ
тАЬNonsense, Sis, you were a jolly pretty girlтБатАФand still are,тАЭ he added gallantly.
тАЬWalter married me for the sake of Abbots Puissants,тАЭ said Myra obstinately. тАЬI tell you I know it.тАЭ
тАЬWell, well,тАЭ said her brother. тАЬLetтАЩs leave the past alone.тАЭ
тАЬYou wouldnтАЩt be so calm and cold-blooded about it if you were me,тАЭ said Myra bitterly. тАЬNot if you had to live with him. I do everything I can think of to please himтБатАФand he only sneers and treats me like this.тАЭ
тАЬYou nag him,тАЭ said Sydney. тАЬOh! yes, you do. You canтАЩt help it.тАЭ
тАЬIf only heтАЩd answer back! If heтАЩd say somethingтБатАФinstead of just sitting there.тАЭ
тАЬYes, but thatтАЩs the kind of fellow he is. You canтАЩt alter people in this world to suit your fancy. I canтАЩt say I care for the chap myselfтБатАФtoo la-di-da for me. Why, if you put him in to run a concern it would be bankrupt in a fortnight! But IтАЩm bound to say heтАЩs always been very polite and decent to me. Quite the gentleman. When IтАЩve run across him in London heтАЩs taken me to lunch at that swell club of his and if I didnтАЩt feel too comfortable there that wasnтАЩt his fault. HeтАЩs got his good points.тАЭ
тАЬYouтАЩre so like a man,тАЭ said Myra. тАЬCarrie would understand! HeтАЩs been unfaithful to me, I tell you. Unfaithful!тАЭ
тАЬWell, well,тАЭ said Uncle Sydney with a great deal of jingling and his eyes on the ceiling. тАЬMen will be men.тАЭ
тАЬBut Syd, you neverтБатАФтАЭ
тАЬOf course not,тАЭ said Uncle Sydney hastily. тАЬOf course notтБатАФof course not. IтАЩm speaking generally, MyraтБатАФgenerally, you understand.тАЭ
тАЬItтАЩs all finished,тАЭ said Myra. тАЬNo woman could stand more than IтАЩve stood. And now itтАЩs the end. I never want to see him again.тАЭ
тАЬAh!тАЭ said Uncle Sydney. He drew a chair to the table and sat down with the air of one prepared to talk business. тАЬThen letтАЩs get down to brass tacks. YouтАЩve made up your mind? What is it you do want to do?тАЭ
тАЬI tell you I never want to see Walter again!тАЭ
тАЬYes, yes,тАЭ said Uncle Sydney patiently. тАЬWeтАЩre taking that for granted. Now what do you want? A divorce?тАЭ
тАЬOh!тАЭ Myra was taken aback. тАЬI hadnтАЩt thoughtтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ
тАЬWell, we must get the thing put on a businesslike footing. I doubt if youтАЩd get a divorce. YouтАЩve got to prove cruelty, you know, as well, and I doubt if you could do that.тАЭ
тАЬIf you knew the suffering heтАЩs caused meтБатАФтАЭ
тАЬI dare say. IтАЩm not denying it. But you want something more than that to satisfy the law. And thereтАЩs no desertion. If you wrote to him to come back heтАЩd come, I suppose?тАЭ
тАЬHavenтАЩt I just told you I never want to see him again?тАЭ
тАЬYes, yes, yes. You women do harp on a thing so. WeтАЩre looking at the thing from a business point of view now. I donтАЩt think a divorce will wash.тАЭ
тАЬI donтАЩt want a divorce.тАЭ
тАЬWell, what do you want, a separation?тАЭ
тАЬSo that he could go and live with that abandoned creature in London? Live with her altogether? And what would happen to me, I should like to know?тАЭ
тАЬPlenty of nice houses near me and Carrie. YouтАЩd have the boy with you most of the time, I expect.тАЭ
тАЬAnd let Walter bring disgusting women into this very house, perhaps? No, indeed, I donтАЩt intend to play into his hands like that!тАЭ
тАЬWell, dash it all Myra, what do you want?тАЭ
Myra began to cry again.
тАЬIтАЩm so miserable, Syd, IтАЩm so miserable. If only Walter were different.тАЭ
тАЬWell, he isnтАЩtтБатАФand he never will be. You must just make up your mind to it, Myra. YouтАЩve married a fellow whoтАЩs a bit of a Don JooanтБатАФand youтАЩve got to try and take a broadminded view of it. YouтАЩre fond of the chap. Kiss and make friendsтБатАФthatтАЩs what I say. WeтАЩre none of us perfect. Give and takeтБатАФthatтАЩs the thing to rememberтБатАФgive and take.тАЭ
His sister continued to weep quietly.
тАЬMarriage is a ticklish business,тАЭ went on Uncle Sydney in a ruminative voice. тАЬWomen are too good for us, not a doubt of it.тАЭ
тАЬI suppose,тАЭ said Myra in a tearful voice. тАЬOne ought to forgive and forgiveтБатАФagain and again.тАЭ
тАЬThatтАЩs the spirit,тАЭ said Uncle Sydney. тАЬWomen are angels and men arenтАЩt, and women have got to make allowances. Always have had to and always will.тАЭ
MyraтАЩs sobs grew less. She was seeing herself now in the role of the forgiving angel.
тАЬIt isnтАЩt as if I didnтАЩt do everything I could,тАЭ she sobbed. тАЬI run the house and IтАЩm sure nobody could be a more devoted mother.тАЭ
тАЬOf course you are,тАЭ said Uncle Sydney. тАЬAnd thatтАЩs a fine youngster of yours. I wish Carrie and I had a boy. Four girlsтБатАФitтАЩs a bit thick. Still as I always say to her: тАШBetter luck next time, old girl.тАЩ We both feel sure itтАЩs going to be a boy this time.тАЭ
Myra was diverted.
тАЬI didnтАЩt know. When is it?тАЭ
тАЬJune.тАЭ
тАЬHow is Carrie?тАЭ
тАЬSuffering a bit with her legsтБатАФswelled, you know. But she manages to get about a fair amount. Why, hallo, hereтАЩs that young shaver. How long have you been here, my boy?тАЭ
тАЬOh! a long time,тАЭ said Vernon. тАЬI was here when you came in.тАЭ
тАЬYouтАЩre so quiet,тАЭ complained his uncle. тАЬNot like your cousins. IтАЩm sure the racket they make is almost too much to bear sometimes. WhatтАЩs that youтАЩve got there?тАЭ
тАЬItтАЩs an engine,тАЭ said Vernon.
тАЬNo, it isnтАЩt,тАЭ said Uncle Sydney. тАЬItтАЩs a milk cart!тАЭ
Vernon was silent.
тАЬHey,тАЭ said Uncle Sydney. тАЬIsnтАЩt it a milk cart?тАЭ
тАЬNo,тАЭ said Vernon. тАЬItтАЩs an engine.тАЭ
тАЬNot a bit of it. ItтАЩs a milk cart. ThatтАЩs funny, isnтАЩt it? You say itтАЩs an engine and I say itтАЩs a milk cart. I wonder which of us is right?тАЭ
Since Vernon knew that he was, it seemed hardly necessary to reply.
тАЬHeтАЩs a solemn child,тАЭ said Uncle Sydney turning to his sister. тАЬNever sees a joke. You know, my boy, youтАЩll have to get used to being teased at school.тАЭ
тАЬShall I?тАЭ said Vernon, who couldnтАЩt see what that had to do with it.
тАЬA boy who can take teasing with a laugh, thatтАЩs the sort of boy who gets on in the world,тАЭ said Uncle Sydney and jingled his money again, stimulated by a natural association of ideas.
Vernon stared at him thoughtfully.
тАЬWhat are you thinking about?тАЭ
тАЬNothing,тАЭ said Vernon.
тАЬTake your engine on the terrace, dear,тАЭ said Myra.
Vernon obeyed.
тАЬNow I wonder how much that little chap took in of what we were talking about?тАЭ said Sydney to his sister.
тАЬOh! he wouldnтАЩt understand. HeтАЩs too little.тАЭ
тАЬHтАЩm,тАЭ said Sydney. тАЬI donтАЩt know. Some children take in a lotтБатАФmy Ethel does. But then sheтАЩs a very wide awake child.тАЭ
тАЬI donтАЩt think Vernon ever notices anything,тАЭ said Myra. тАЬItтАЩs rather a blessing in some ways.тАЭ
II
тАЬMummy?тАЭ said Vernon later. тАЬWhatтАЩs going to happen in June?тАЭ
тАЬIn June, darling?тАЭ
тАЬYesтБатАФwhat you and Uncle Sydney were talking about.тАЭ
тАЬOh! thatтБатАФтАЭ Myra was momentarily discomposed. тАЬWell, you seeтБатАФitтАЩs a great secret.тАЭ
тАЬYes?тАЭ said Vernon eagerly.
тАЬUncle Sydney and Aunt Carrie hope that in June they will have a dear little baby boy. A boy cousin for you.тАЭ
тАЬOh!тАЭ said Vernon, disappointed. тАЬIs that all?тАЭ
After a minute or two, he said:
тАЬWhy are Aunt CarrieтАЩs legs swelled?тАЭ
тАЬOh! wellтБатАФyou seeтБатАФshe has been rather overtired lately.тАЭ
Myra dreaded more questions. She tried to remember what she and Sydney had actually said.
тАЬMummy?тАЭ
тАЬYes, dear.тАЭ
тАЬDo Uncle Sydney and Aunt Carrie want to have a baby boy?тАЭ
тАЬYes, of course.тАЭ
тАЬThen why do they wait till June? Why donтАЩt they have it now?тАЭ
тАЬBecause, Vernon, God knows best. And God wants them to have it in June.тАЭ
тАЬThatтАЩs a long time to wait,тАЭ said Vernon. тАЬIf I were God IтАЩd send people things at once, as soon as they wanted them.тАЭ
тАЬYou mustnтАЩt be blasphemous, dear,тАЭ said Myra gently.
Vernon was silent. But he was puzzled. What was blasphemous? He rather thought that it was the same word Cook had used speaking of her brother. She had said he was a mostтБатАФsomethingтБатАФman and hardly ever touched a drop! She had spoken as though such an attitude was highly commendable. But evidently Mummy didnтАЩt seem to think the same about it.
Vernon added an extra prayer that evening to his usual petition of тАЬGod bless Mummy and Daddy and makemeagooboy armen.тАЭ
тАЬDear God,тАЭ he prayed. тАЬWill you send me a puppy in JuneтБатАФor July would do if you are very busy.тАЭ
тАЬNow why in June?тАЭ said Miss Robbins. тАЬYou are a funny little boy. I should have thought you would have wanted the puppy now.тАЭ
тАЬThat would be blamafous,тАЭ said Vernon, and eyed her reproachfully.
III
Suddenly the world became very exciting. There was a warтБатАФin South AfricaтБатАФand Father was going to it!
Everyone was excited and upset. For the first time, Vernon heard of some people called the Boers. They were the people that Father was going to fight.
His father came home for a few days. He looked younger and more alive and a great deal more cheerful. He and Mummy were quite nice to each other and there werenтАЩt any scenes or quarrels.
Once or twice, Vernon thought, his father squirmed uneasily at some of the things his mother said. Once he said irritably:
тАЬFor GodтАЩs sake, Myra, donтАЩt keep talking of brave heroes laying down their lives for their country. I canтАЩt stand that sort of cant.тАЭ
But his mother had not got angry. She only said:
тАЬI know you donтАЩt like me saying it. But itтАЩs true.тАЭ
On the last evening before he left, VernonтАЩs father called to his small son to go for a walk with him. They strolled all round the place, silently at first, and then Vernon was emboldened to ask questions.
тАЬAre you glad youтАЩre going to the war, Father?тАЭ
тАЬVery glad.тАЭ
тАЬIs it fun?тАЭ
тАЬNot what youтАЩd call fun, I expect. But it is in a way. ItтАЩs excitement, and then, too, it takes you away from thingsтБатАФright away.тАЭ
тАЬI suppose,тАЭ said Vernon thoughtfully, тАЬthere arenтАЩt any ladies at the war?тАЭ
Walter Deyre looked sharply at his son, a slight smile hovering on his lips. Uncanny, the way the boy sometimes hit the nail on the head quite unconsciously.
тАЬThat makes for peace, certainly,тАЭ he said gravely.
тАЬWill you kill a good many people, do you think?тАЭ inquired Vernon interestedly.
His father replied that it was impossible to tell accurately beforehand.
тАЬI hope you will,тАЭ said Vernon, anxious that his father should shine. тАЬI hope youтАЩll kill a hundred.тАЭ
тАЬThank you, old man.тАЭ
тАЬI suppose,тАЭ began Vernon and then stopped.
тАЬYes?тАЭ said Walter Deyre encouragingly.
тАЬI supposeтБатАФsometimesтБатАФpeople do get killed in war.тАЭ
Walter Deyre understood the ambiguous phrase.
тАЬSometimes,тАЭ he said.
тАЬYou donтАЩt think you will, do you?тАЭ
тАЬI might. ItтАЩs all in the dayтАЩs work, you know.тАЭ
Vernon considered the phrase thoughtfully. The feeling that underlay it came dimly to him.
тАЬWould you mind if you were, Father?тАЭ
тАЬIt might be the best thing,тАЭ said Walter Deyre, more to himself than to the child.
тАЬI hope you wonтАЩt,тАЭ said Vernon.
тАЬThank you.тАЭ
His father smiled a little. VernonтАЩs wish had sounded so politely conventional. But he did not make the mistake Myra would have done, of thinking the child unfeeling.
They had reached the ruins of the Abbey. The sun was just setting. Father and son looked round and Walter Deyre drew in his breath with a little intake of pain. Perhaps he might never stand here again.
тАЬIтАЩve made a mess of things,тАЭ he thought to himself.
тАЬVernon?тАЭ
тАЬYes, Father?тАЭ
тАЬIf I am killed, Abbots Puissants will belong to you. You know that, donтАЩt you?тАЭ
тАЬYes, Father.тАЭ
Silence again. So much that he would have liked to sayтБатАФbut he wasnтАЩt used to saying things. These were the things that one didnтАЩt put into words. Odd, how strangely at home he felt with that small person, his son. Perhaps it had been a mistake not to have got to know the boy better. They might have had some good times together. He was shy of the boyтБатАФand the boy was shy of him. And yet somehow, they were curiously in harmony. They both of them disliked saying things.
тАЬIтАЩm fond of the old place,тАЭ said Walter Deyre. тАЬI expect you will be too.тАЭ
тАЬYes, Father.тАЭ
тАЬQueer to think of the old monksтБатАФcatching their fishтБатАФfat fellows. ThatтАЩs how I always think of themтБатАФcomfortable chaps.тАЭ
They lingered a few minutes longer.
тАЬWell,тАЭ said Walter Deyre, тАЬwe must be getting home. ItтАЩs late.тАЭ
They turned. Walter Deyre squared his shoulders. There was a leavetaking to be got throughтБатАФan emotional one if he knew MyraтБатАФand he rather dreaded it. Well, it would soon be over. Goodbyes were painful thingsтБатАФbetter if one made no fuss about them, but then of course Myra would never see it that way.
Poor Myra. SheтАЩd had a rotten deal on the whole. A fine-looking creature, but heтАЩd married her really for the sake of Abbots PuissantsтБатАФand she had married him for love. That was the root of the whole trouble.
тАЬLook after your mother, Vernon,тАЭ he said suddenly. тАЬSheтАЩs been very good to you, you know.тАЭ
He rather hoped, in a way, that he wouldnтАЩt come back. It would be best so. Vernon had his mother.
And yet, at that thought, he had a queer traitorous feeling. As though he were deserting the boyтБатАКтБатАж
IV
тАЬWalter,тАЭ cried Myra, тАЬyou havenтАЩt said goodbye to Vernon.тАЭ
Walter looked across at his son, standing there wide-eyed.
тАЬGoodbye, old chap. Have a good time.тАЭ
тАЬGoodbye, Father.тАЭ
That was all. Myra was scandalizedтБатАФhad he no love for the boy? He hadnтАЩt even kissed him. How queer they wereтБатАФthe Deyres. So casual. Strange, the way they had nodded to each other, across the width of the room. So alike.тБатАКтБатАж
тАЬBut Vernon,тАЭ said Myra to herself, тАЬshall not grow up like his father.тАЭ
On the walls around her Deyres looked down and smiled sardonically.