II
I
Nell was back in London. Vernon came up to see her the day after her return. She noticed the change in him at once. He looked haggard, excited. He said abruptly:
тАЬNell, IтАЩm going to chuck Birmingham.тАЭ
тАЬWhat?тАЭ
тАЬListen while I tell youтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ
He talked eagerly, excitedly. His musicтБатАФheтАЩd got to give himself up to it. He told her of the opera.
тАЬListen, Nell. This is youтБатАФin your towerтБатАФwith your golden hair hanging down and shiningтБатАФshining in the sun.тАЭ
He went to the piano, began to play, explaining as he did soтБатАКтБатАж тАЬViolinsтБатАФyou seeтБатАФand this is all for harpsтБатАКтБатАж and these are the round jewels.тБатАКтБатАжтАЭ
He played what seemed to Nell to be a series of rather ugly discords. She privately thought it all hideous. Perhaps it would sound different played by an orchestra.
But she loved himтБатАФand because she loved him, everything he did must be right. She smiled and said:
тАЬItтАЩs lovely, Vernon.тАЭ
тАЬDo you really like it, Nell? Oh! sweetheartтБатАФyou are so wonderful. You always understand. YouтАЩre so sweet about everything.тАЭ
He came across to her, knelt down and buried his face on her lap.
тАЬI love you soтБатАКтБатАж I love you so.тАЭ
She stroked his dark head.
тАЬTell me the story of it.тАЭ
тАЬShall I? Well, you see, thereтАЩs a princess in a tower with golden hair, and kings and knights come from all over the world to try and get her to marry them. But sheтАЩs too haughty to look at any of themтБатАФthe real good old fairy story touch. And at last one comesтБатАФa kind of gypsy fellowтБатАФvery ragged, with a little green hat on his head and a kind of pipe he plays on. And he sings and says that he has the biggest kingdom of anyone because his kingdom is the whole worldтБатАФand that there are no jewels like his jewels, which are dewdrops. And they say heтАЩs mad and throw him out. But that night when the princess is lying in bed, she hears him playing his song in the castle garden and she listens.
тАЬThen thereтАЩs an old Jew pedlar man in the town, and he offers the fellow gold and riches with which to win the princess, but the gypsy laughs and says, What could he give in exchange? And the old man says his green hat and the pipe he plays on, but the gypsy says he will never part with those.
тАЬHe plays in the palace garden every night. ThereтАЩs an old bard in the palace, and he tells a tale of how a hundred years ago a prince of the Royal house was bewitched by a gypsy maid and wandered forth and was never seen again. And the princess listens to it, and at last one night she gets up and comes to the window. And he tells her to leave all her robes and jewels behind and to come out in a simple white gown. But she thinks in her heart that itтАЩs as well to be on the safe side, so she puts a pearl in the hem of her skirt, and she comes out, and they go off in the moonlight while he singsтБатАКтБатАж But the pearl in her dress weighs her down and she canтАЩt keep up. And he goes on not realizing that sheтАЩs left behind.тБатАКтБатАж
тАЬIтАЩve told this very badly, like a story, but thatтАЩs the end of the first actтБатАФhis going off in the moonlight and her left behind weeping. There are three scenes. The castle hall, the marketplace, and the palace garden outside her window.тАЭ
тАЬWonтАЩt that be very expensiveтБатАФin the way of scenery, I mean?тАЭ suggested Nell.
тАЬI donтАЩt knowтБатАФI hadnтАЩt thoughtтБатАФoh! it can be managed, I expect.тАЭ Vernon was irritated by these prosaic details.
тАЬNow the second act is near the marketplace. There is a girl there mending dollsтБатАФwith black hair hanging down round her face. The gypsy comes along, and asks her what sheтАЩs doing, and she says sheтАЩs mending the childrenтАЩs toysтБатАФsheтАЩs got the most wonderful needle and thread in the world. He tells her all about the princess and how heтАЩs lost her again, and he says heтАЩs going to the old Jew pedlar to sell his hat and his pipe, and she warns him not toтБатАФbut he says he must.
тАЬI wish I could tell things better. IтАЩm just giving you the story nowтБатАФnot the way IтАЩve divided it up, because IтАЩm not exactly sure myself yet about that. IтАЩve got the musicтБатАФthatтАЩs the great thingтБатАФthe heavy empty palace musicтБатАФand the noisy clattering marketplace musicтБатАФand the princessтБатАФlike that line of poetry, тАШa singing stream in a silent vale,тАЩ and the doll mender, all trees and dark woods like the Forest used to sound at Abbots Puissants; you know, enchanted and mysterious and a little frighteningтБатАКтБатАж I think youтАЩll have to have some instruments specially tuned for it.тБатАКтБатАж Well, I wonтАЩt go into that, it wouldnтАЩt interest youтБатАФitтАЩs too technical.
тАЬWhere was I? Oh, yes, he turns up at the palaceтБатАФas a great king this timeтБатАФall clanking swords and horse trappings and blazing jewels, and the princess is overjoyed and theyтАЩre going to be married and everythingтАЩs all right. But he begins to get pale and weary, worse every day, and when anyone asks him what is the matter, he says тАШNothing.тАЩтАКтАЭ
тАЬLike you when you were a little boy at Abbots Puissants,тАЭ said Nell, smiling.
тАЬDid I say that? I donтАЩt remember. Well, then the night before the wedding he canтАЩt bear it any more, and he steals away from the palace and down to the market and wakes up the old Jew and says he must have back his hat and his pipe. HeтАЩll give back everything he got in exchange. The old Jew laughs, and throws down the hat, torn across, and the pipe, broken, at the princeтАЩs feet.
тАЬHeтАЩs brokenheartedтБатАФthe bottom knocked out of his world, and he wanders away with them in his hand, till he comes to where the doll mender is sitting with her feet tucked up under her, and he tells her what has happened and she tells him to lie down and sleep. And when he wakes in the morning there are his green hat and his pipe, mended so beautifully that no one could tell they had been mended.
тАЬAnd then he laughs for joy, and she goes to a cupboard and pulls out a similar little green hat and a pipe, and they go out together through the forest, and just as the sun rises on the edge of the forest, he looks at her and remembers. He says, тАШWhy, a hundred years ago I left my palace and my throne for love of you.тАЩ And she says, тАШYes. But because you were afraid you hid a piece of gold in the lining of your doublet, and the gleam of it enchanted your eyes and we lost each other. But now the whole world is ours and we will wander through it together forever and ever.тАЩтАКтАЭ
Vernon stopped. He turned an enthusiastic face upon Nell. тАЬIt ought to be lovely, the endтБатАКтБатАж so lovely. If I can get into the music what I see and hearтБатАКтБатАж the two of them in their little green hatsтБатАКтБатАж playing their pipesтБатАКтБатАж and the forest and the sun rising.тБатАКтБатАжтАЭ
His face grew dreamy and ecstatic. He seemed to have forgotten Nell.
Nell herself felt indescribable sensations sweep over her. She was afraid of this queer, rapt Vernon. He had talked of music before to her, but never with this strange exalted passion. She knew that Sebastian Levinne thought Vernon might do wonderful things some day, but she remembered lives she had read of musical geniuses and suddenly she wished with all her heart that Vernon might not have this marvellous gift. She wanted him as he had been heretofore, her eager boyish lover, the two of them wrapped in their common dream.
The wives of musicians were always unhappy: she had read that somewhere. She didnтАЩt want Vernon to be a great musician. She wanted him to make some money quickly and live with her at Abbots Puissants. She wanted a sweet, sane, normal, everyday life. LoveтБатАФand VernonтБатАКтБатАж
This thingтБатАФthis kind of possessionтБатАФwas dangerous. She was sure it was dangerous.
But she couldnтАЩt damp VernonтАЩs ardour. She loved him far too much for that. She said, trying to make her voice sound sympathetic and interested:
тАЬWhat an unusual fairy story! Do you mean to say youтАЩve remembered it from ever since you were a child?тАЭ
тАЬMore or less. I thought of it again that morning on the river at CambridgeтБатАФjust before I saw you standing under that tree. Darling, you were so lovelyтБатАФso lovely.тБатАКтБатАж You always will be lovely, wonтАЩt you? I couldnтАЩt bear it if you werenтАЩt. What idiotic things I am saying! And then, after that night at Ranelagh, that wonderful night when I told you that I loved you, all the music came pouring into my mind. Only I couldnтАЩt remember the story clearlyтБатАФonly really the bit about the tower.
тАЬBut, IтАЩve had marvellous luck. IтАЩve met a girl who is actually the niece of the hospital nurse who told me the story. And she remembered it perfectly and helped me to get it quite clearly again. IsnтАЩt it extraordinary the way things happen?тАЭ
тАЬWho is she, this woman?тАЭ
тАЬSheтАЩs really rather a wonderful person, I think. Awfully nice and frightfully clever. SheтАЩs a singerтБатАФJane Harding. She sings Electra and Brunhilde and Isolde with the new English Opera Company; and she may sing at Covent Garden next year. I met her at a party of SebastianтАЩs. I want you to meet her. IтАЩm sure youтАЩd like her awfully.тАЭ
тАЬHow old is she? Young?тАЭ
тАЬYoungishтБатАФabout thirty, I should think. She has an awfully queer effect on one. In a way you almost dislike her, and yet she makes you feel you can do things. SheтАЩs been very good to me.тАЭ
тАЬI dare say.тАЭ
Why did she say that? Why should she feel an unreasoning prejudice against this womanтБатАФthis Jane Harding?
Vernon was staring at her with rather a puzzled expression.
тАЬWhatтАЩs the matter, darling? You said that so queerly.тАЭ
тАЬI donтАЩt know.тАЭ She tried to laugh. тАЬA goose walking over my grave, perhaps.тАЭ
тАЬFunny,тАЭ said Vernon, frowning. тАЬSomebody else said that just lately.тАЭ
тАЬLots of people say it,тАЭ said Nell, laughing. She paused and then said: тАЬIтАЩdтБатАФIтАЩd like to meet this friend of yours very much, Vernon.тАЭ
тАЬI know. I want her to meet you. IтАЩve talked a lot about you to her.тАЭ
тАЬI wish you wouldnтАЩt. Talk about me, I mean. After all, we promised Mother no one should know.тАЭ
тАЬNobody outsideтБатАФbut Sebastian knows and Joe.тАЭ
тАЬThatтАЩs different. YouтАЩve known them all your life.тАЭ
тАЬYes, of course. IтАЩm sorry. I didnтАЩt think. I didnтАЩt say we were engaged, or tell your name or anything. YouтАЩre not cross, are you, Nell darling?тАЭ
тАЬOf course not.тАЭ
Even in her own ears her voice sounded hard. Why was life so horribly difficult? She was afraid of this music. Already it had made Vernon chuck up a good job. Was it the music? Or was it Jane Harding?
She thought to herself desperately: тАЬI wish IтАЩd never met Vernon. I wish IтАЩd never loved him. I wishтБатАФoh! I wish I didnтАЩt love him so much. IтАЩm afraid. IтАЩm afraid.тБатАКтБатАжтАЭ
II
It was over! the plunge was taken! There was unpleasantness of course. Uncle Sydney was furious; not, Vernon was forced to confess, without reason. There were scenes with his motherтБатАФtearsтБатАФrecriminations. A dozen times, he was on the point of giving way, and yet, somehow or other, he didnтАЩt.
He had a curious sense of desolation all the time. He was alone in this thing. Nell, because she loved him, agreed to all he said, but he was uncomfortably conscious that his decision had grieved and disturbed her, and might even shake her faith in the future. Sebastian thought the move premature. For the time being, he would have advised making the best of two worlds. Not that he said so. Sebastian never gave advice to anybody. Even the staunch Joe was doubtful. She realized that for Vernon to sever his connection with the Bents was serious, and she had not the real faith in VernonтАЩs musical future which would have made her heartily applaud the step.
So far, in his life, Vernon had never had the courage to set himself definitely in opposition to everybody. When it was all over, and he was settled in the very cheap rooms which were all he could afford in London, he felt as one might who had overcome invincible odds. Then, and not till then, he went a second time to see Jane Harding.
He had held boyish imaginary conversations with her in his mind.
тАЬI have done what you told me.тАЭ
тАЬSplendid! I knew you had the courage really.тАЭ
He was modest, she applauded. He was sustained and uplifted by her praise.
The reality, as always, fell out quite differently. His intercourse with Jane always did. He was always holding imaginary conversations with Jane in his mind, and the reality was always totally different.
In this case, when he announced, with due modesty, what he had done, she seemed to take it as a matter of course, with nothing particularly heroic about it. She said:
тАЬWell, you must have wanted to do it or you wouldnтАЩt have done it.тАЭ
He felt baffled, almost angry. A curious sense of constraint always came over him in JaneтАЩs presence. He could never be wholly natural with her. He had so much he wanted to sayтБатАФbut he found it difficult to say it. He was tongue-tiedтБатАФembarrassed. And then suddenly, for no reason, it seemed, the cloud would lift and he would be talking happily and easily, saying the things that came into his head.
He thought: тАЬWhy am I so embarrassed with her? SheтАЩs natural enough.тАЭ
It worried him. From the first moment he had met her, he had felt disturbedтБатАФafraid. He resented the effect she had on him and yet he was unwilling to admit how strong that effect was.
An attempt to bring about a friendship between her and Nell failed. Vernon could feel that behind the outward cordiality that politeness dictates, there was very little real feeling.
When he asked Nell what she thought of Jane, she answered: тАЬI like her very much. I think sheтАЩs most interesting.тАЭ
He was more awkward approaching Jane, but she helped him.
тАЬYou want to know what I think of your Nell? She is lovelyтБатАФand very sweet.тАЭ
He said, тАЬAnd you really think youтАЩll be friends?тАЭ
тАЬNo, of course not. Why should we?тАЭ
тАЬWell, butтБатАФтАЭ
He stammered, taken aback.
тАЬFriendship is not a kind of equilateral triangle. If A likes B and loves C, then C and B, etcetera, etcetera.тБатАКтБатАж WeтАЩve nothing in common, your Nell and I. She, too, expects life to be a fairy story, and is just beginning to be afraid, poor child, that it maynтАЩt be, after all. SheтАЩs a Sleeping Beauty waking in the forest. Love, to her, is something very wonderful and very beautiful.тАЭ
тАЬIsnтАЩt it that to you?тАЭ
He had to ask. He wanted to know so badly. So often, so often, heтАЩd wondered about Boris Androv, about those five years.
She looked at him with a face from which all expression had died out.
тАЬSome dayтБатАФIтАЩll tell you.тАЭ
He wanted to say, тАЬTell me now,тАЭ but he didnтАЩt. He said instead:
тАЬTell me, Jane, what is life to you?тАЭ
She paused a minute and then said: тАЬA difficult, dangerous, but endlessly interesting adventure.тАЭ
III
At last, he was able to work. He began to appreciate to the full the joys of freedom. There was nothing to fray his nerves, nothing to dissipate his energy. It could flow, all in one steady stream, into his work. There were few distractions. At the moment, he had only just enough money to keep body and soul together. Abbots Puissants was still unletтБатАКтБатАж
The autumn passed and most of the winter. He saw Nell once or twice a week, stolen unsatisfactory meetings. They were both conscious of the loss of the first fine rapture. She questioned him closely about the progress of the opera. How was it going? When did he expect it would be finished? What chances were there of its being produced?
Vernon was vague to all these practical aspects. He was concerned at the moment only with the creative side. The opera was getting itself born, slowly, with innumerable pangs and difficulties, with a hundred setbacks owing to VernonтАЩs own lack of experience and technique. His conversation was mostly of instrumental difficulties or possibilities. He went out with odd musicians who played in orchestras. Nell went to many concerts and was fond of music, but it is doubtful if she could have told an oboe from a clarinet. SheтАЩd always imagined a horn and a French horn to be much the same thing. The technical knowledge needed in score writing appalled her, and VernonтАЩs indifference to how and when the opera would be produced made her uneasy.
He hardly realized himself how much his uncertain answers depressed and alienated Nell. He was startled one day when she said to himтБатАФindeed not so much said as wailed:
тАЬOh, Vernon, donтАЩt try me too hard. ItтАЩs so difficultтБатАФso difficult. I must have some hope. You donтАЩt understand.тАЭ
He looked at her astonished.
тАЬBut, Nell, itтАЩs all right really. ItтАЩs only a question of being patient.тАЭ
тАЬI know, Vernon. I shouldnтАЩt have said that, but you seeтБатАФтАЭ
She paused.
тАЬIt makes it so much more difficult for me, darling,тАЭ said Vernon, тАЬif I feel that youтАЩre unhappy.тАЭ
тАЬOh, IтАЩm notтБатАФI wonтАЩt be.тАЭ
But underneath, choked down, that old feeling of resentment lifted its head again. Vernon didnтАЩt understand or care how difficult things were for her. He never had the faintest conception of her difficulties. He would, perhaps, have called them silly or trivial. They were, in one sense, but in another they werenтАЩtтБатАФsince the sum total of them went to make up her life. Vernon didnтАЩt see or realize that she was fighting a battleтБатАФfighting it all the time. She could never relax. If he could only realize that, give her a word of cheer, show her that he understood the difficult position in which she was placed. But he never would see.
A devastating sense of loneliness swept over Nell. Men were like thatтБатАФthey never understood or cared. LoveтБатАФthat seemed to solve everything. But really it didnтАЩt solve anything at all. She almost hated Vernon. Selfishly absorbed in his work, disliking her to be unhappy because it upset himтБатАКтБатАж
She thought: тАЬAny woman would understand.тАЭ
And, moved by some obscure impulse, she went of her own accord to see Jane Harding.
Jane was in, and if she was surprised to see Nell, she did not show it. They talked for some time on desultory things. Yet Nell had a feeling that Jane was waiting and watching, biding her time.
Why had she come? She didnтАЩt know. She feared and distrusted JaneтБатАФperhaps that was why! Jane was her enemy. Yes, but she had a fear that her enemy had a wisdom denied to her. Jane (she put it to herself) was clever. She was, very possibly, badтБатАФyes, she was sure Jane was badтБатАФbut somehow or other one might learn from her.
She began rather blunderingly. Did Jane think that VernonтАЩs music was likely to be successfulтБатАФthat is to say successful soon? She tried in vain to keep a quaver out of her voice.
She felt JaneтАЩs cool green eyes upon her.
тАЬThings getting difficult?тАЭ
тАЬYes, you seeтБатАФтАЭ
It tumbled out, a great deal of it: the shifts, the difficulties, the unspoken force of her motherтАЩs silent pressure, a dimly veiled reference to Someone, name not given, Someone who understood and was kind and was rich.
How easy to say these things to a womanтБатАФeven a woman like Jane, who couldnтАЩt know anything about them. Women understoodтБатАФthey didnтАЩt pooh-pooh trifles and make everything out to be unimportant.
When she had finished, Jane said: тАЬItтАЩs a little hard on you. When you first met Vernon you had no idea of this music business.тАЭ
тАЬI didnтАЩt think it would be like this,тАЭ said Nell bitterly.
тАЬWell, itтАЩs no good going back to what you didnтАЩt think, is it?тАЭ
тАЬI suppose not.тАЭ Nell felt vaguely annoyed at JaneтАЩs tone. тАЬOh!тАЭ she broke out. тАЬYou feel, of course, that everything ought to give way to his musicтБатАФthat heтАЩs a geniusтБатАФthat I ought to be glad to make any sacrifice.тАЭ
тАЬNo, I donтАЩt,тАЭ said Jane. тАЬI donтАЩt think any of those things. I donтАЩt know what good geniuses are, or works of art either. Some people are born with a feeling that they matter more than anything else, and some people arenтАЩt. ItтАЩs impossible to say whoтАЩs right. The best thing for you would be to persuade Vernon to give up music, sell Abbots Puissants, and settle down with you on the proceeds. But I do know this, that you havenтАЩt an earthly chance of getting him to give up music. These things, genius, art, whatever you like to call it, are much stronger than you are. You might just as well be King Canute on the sea shore. You canтАЩt turn back Vernon from music.тАЭ
тАЬWhat can I do?тАЭ said Nell hopelessly.
тАЬWell, you can either marry this other man you were talking of and be reasonably happy, or you can marry Vernon and be actively unhappy with periods of bliss.тАЭ
Nell looked at her.
тАЬWhat would you do?тАЭ she whispered.
тАЬOh! I should marry Vernon and be unhappy, but then some of us like taking our pleasures sadly.тАЭ
Nell got up. She stood in the doorway looking back at Jane who had not moved. She was lying back against the wall, smoking a cigarette, her eyes half closed. She looked a little like a cat, or a Chinese idol. A sudden wave of fury came over Nell.
тАЬI hate you,тАЭ she cried. тАЬYouтАЩre taking Vernon away from me. YesтБатАФyou. YouтАЩre badтБатАФevil. I know it, I can feel it. YouтАЩre a bad woman.тАЭ
тАЬYouтАЩre jealous,тАЭ said Jane quietly.
тАЬYou admit then, thereтАЩs something to be jealous of? Not that Vernon loves you. He doesnтАЩt. He never would. ItтАЩs you who want to get hold of him.тАЭ
There was silenceтБатАФa pulsating silence. Then, without moving, Jane laughed. Nell hurried out of the flat, hardly knowing what she was doing.
IV
Sebastian came very often to see Jane. He usually came after dinner, ringing up first to find if she would be at home. They both found a curious pleasure in each otherтАЩs company. To Sebastian Jane recounted her struggles with the role of Solveig, the difficulties of the music, the difficulty of pleasing Radmaager, the still greater difficulty of pleasing herself. To Jane, Sebastian imparted his ambitions, his present plans, his future vague ideas.
One evening, after they had both been silent after a long spell of talking, he said:
тАЬI can talk to you better than anyone I know, Jane. I donтАЩt quite know why, either.тАЭ
тАЬWell, in a way, weтАЩre both the same kind of person, arenтАЩt we?тАЭ
тАЬAre we?тАЭ
тАЬI think so. Not superficially, perhaps, but fundamentally. We both like truth. I think, as far as one can say that of oneself we both see things as they are.тАЭ
тАЬAnd you think most people donтАЩt?тАЭ
тАЬOf course they donтАЩt. Nell Vereker, for instance. She sees things as theyтАЩve been shown her, as she hopes they are.тАЭ
тАЬA slave of convention, you mean?тАЭ
тАЬYes, but it works both ways. Joe, for instance, prides herself on being unconventional, but that makes just as much for narrowness and prejudice.тАЭ
тАЬYes, if youтАЩre тАШaginтАЩ everything irrespective of what it is. Joe is like that. She must be a rebel. She never really examines a thing on its merits. And thatтАЩs what damns me so hopelessly in her eyes. IтАЩm successfulтБатАФand she admires failures. IтАЩm rich, so sheтАЩd gain instead of lose if she married me. And being a Jew doesnтАЩt count against you much nowadays.тАЭ
тАЬItтАЩs even fashionable,тАЭ said Jane laughing.
тАЬAnd yet, do you know, Jane, I always have a queer feeling that Joe really likes me?тАЭ
тАЬPerhaps she does. SheтАЩs the wrong age for you, Sebastian. That Swede at your party said something wonderfully trueтБатАФabout separation in time being worse than separation in space. If youтАЩre the wrong age for a person, nothing keeps you apart so hopelessly. You may be made for one another, but be born at the wrong time for each other. Does that sound nonsense? I believe when sheтАЩs about thirty-five, Joe could love youтБатАФthe real essential youтБатАФmadly. ItтАЩll take a woman to love you, Sebastian, not a girl.тАЭ
Sebastian was looking into the fire. It was a cold February day, and there were logs piled up on the coals. Jane hated gas fires.
тАЬHave you ever wondered, Jane, why we donтАЩt fall in love with each other, you and I? Platonic friendship doesnтАЩt usually work. And youтАЩre very attractive. ThereтАЩs a lot of the siren about youтБатАФquite unconscious, but itтАЩs there.тАЭ
тАЬPerhaps we should under normal conditions.тАЭ
тАЬArenтАЩt we under normal conditions? Oh! wait a minuteтБатАФI know what you mean. You mean the lineтАЩs already engaged.тАЭ
тАЬYes. If you didnтАЩt love JoeтБатАФтАЭ
тАЬAnd if youтБатАФтАЭ
He stopped.
тАЬWell?тАЭ said Jane. тАЬYou knew, didnтАЩt you?тАЭ
тАЬYes, I suppose so. You donтАЩt mind talking about it?тАЭ
тАЬNot in the least. If a thingтАЩs there, what does it matter if you talk of it or not?тАЭ
тАЬAre you one of the people, Jane, who believe that if you want a thing enough you can make it happen?тАЭ
Jane considered.
тАЬNoтБатАФI donтАЩt think I am. So many things happen to you naturally that it keeps you busy withoutтБатАФwell, looking for things as well. When a thingтАЩs offered you, youтАЩve got to choose whether youтАЩll accept it or refuse it. ThatтАЩs destiny. And when youтАЩve made your choice you must abide by it without looking back.тАЭ
тАЬThatтАЩs the spirit of Greek tragedy. YouтАЩve got Electra into your bones, Jane.тАЭ He picked up a book from the table. тАЬPeer Gynt? YouтАЩre steeping yourself in Solveig, I see.тАЭ
тАЬYes. ItтАЩs more her opera than PeerтАЩs. You know, Sebastian, Solveig is a wonderfully fascinating characterтБатАФso impassive, so calm, and yet so utterly certain that her love for Peer is the only thing in heaven or earth. She knows that he wants and needs her though he never tells her so, she is abandoned and deserted by him, and manages to turn that desertion into a crowning proof of his love. By the way, that Whitsuntide music of RadmaagerтАЩs is perfectly glorious. You know: тАШBlessed is he who has made my life blessed!тАЩ To show that the love of a man can turn you into a kind of impassioned nun is difficult but rather wonderful.тАЭ
тАЬIs Radmaager pleased with you?тАЭ
тАЬSometimes he is. Yesterday, on the other hand, he consigned my soul to hell and shook me till my teeth rattled. He was perfectly right, too. I sang it all wrongтБатАФlike a melodramatic stage-struck girl. ItтАЩs got to be sheer force of willтБатАФrestraint. Solveig must be so soft and gentle, but really so terribly strong. ItтАЩs like Radmaager said the first day. SnowтБатАФsmooth snowтБатАФwith a wonderful clear design running through it.тАЭ
She went on to talk of VernonтАЩs work.
тАЬItтАЩs almost finished, you know. I want him to show it to Radmaager.тАЭ
тАЬWill he?тАЭ
тАЬI think so. Have you seen it?тАЭ
тАЬParts of it only.тАЭ
тАЬWhat do you think of it?тАЭ
тАЬIтАЩll hear what you think of it first, Jane. Your judgmentтАЩs as good as mine any day where music is concerned.тАЭ
тАЬItтАЩs crude. ThereтАЩs too much in itтБатАФtoo much good stuff. He hasnтАЩt learnt how to handle his materialтБатАФbut the material is thereтБатАФmasses and masses of it. Do you agree?тАЭ
Sebastian nodded.
тАЬAbsolutely. IтАЩm more sure than ever that Vernon is going toтБатАФwell, revolutionize things. But thereтАЩs a nasty time coming. HeтАЩll have to face the fact that what heтАЩs written isnтАЩt, when allтАЩs said and done, a commercial proposition.тАЭ
тАЬYou mean, it couldnтАЩt be produced?тАЭ
тАЬThatтАЩs what I mean.тАЭ
тАЬYou could produce it.тАЭ
тАЬYou mean, out of friendship?тАЭ
тАЬThatтАЩs what I meant.тАЭ
Sebastian got up and began to pace up and down.
тАЬTo my way of thinking, thatтАЩs unethical,тАЭ he said at last.
тАЬAnd also you donтАЩt like losing money.тАЭ
тАЬQuite true.тАЭ
тАЬBut you could afford to lose a certain amount withoutтБатАФwell, noticing it?тАЭ
тАЬI always notice losing money. It affectsтБатАФwell, my pride.тАЭ
Jane nodded.
тАЬI understand that. But I donтАЩt think, Sebastian, that you need lose money.тАЭ
тАЬMy dear JaneтБатАФтАЭ
тАЬDonтАЩt argue with me till you know what IтАЩm arguing about. YouтАЩre going to produce a certain amount of what the world calls тАШhighbrowтАЩ stuff at the little Holborn theatre, arenтАЩt you? Well, this summerтБатАФsay the beginning of JulyтБатАФproduce The Princess in the Tower forтБатАФsayтБатАФtwo weeks. DonтАЩt produce it from the point of view of an opera (donтАЩt tell Vernon this, by the wayтБатАФbut there, you wouldnтАЩt. YouтАЩre not an idiot), but from the point of view of a musical spectacular play. Unusual scenery and weird lighting effectsтБатАФyouтАЩre keen on lighting, I know. The Russian balletтБатАФthatтАЩs what youтАЩve got to aim at; thatтАЩs theтБатАФthe tone of it. Have good singers, but attractive ones to look at as well. And now, putting modesty in the background, IтАЩll tell you this. IтАЩll make a success of it for you.тАЭ
тАЬYouтБатАФas the princess?тАЭ
тАЬNo, my dear child, as the doll mender. ItтАЩs a weird characterтБатАФa character that will attract and arrest. The music of the doll mender is the best thing Vernon has done. Sebastian, youтАЩve always said I could act. TheyтАЩre going to let me sing at Covent Garden this season because I can act. I shall make a hit. I know I can actтБатАФand acting counts for a lot in opera. I canтБатАФI can sway people. I can make them feel. VernonтАЩs opera will need licking into shape from the dramatic point of view. Leave that to me. From the musical side, you and Radmaager may be able to make suggestionsтБатАФif heтАЩll take them. Musicians are the devil to deal with as we all know. The thing can be done, Sebastian.тАЭ
She leaned forward, her face vivid and impressive. SebastianтАЩs face grew more impassive as it always did when he was thinking hard. He looked appraisingly at Jane, weighing her, not from the personal standpoint, but from the impersonal. He believed in Jane, in her dynamic force, in her magnetism, in her wonderful power of communicating emotion over the footlights.
тАЬIтАЩll think it over,тАЭ he said quietly. тАЬThereтАЩs something in what you say.тАЭ
Jane laughed suddenly.
тАЬAnd youтАЩll be able to get me very cheap, Sebastian,тАЭ she said.
тАЬI shall expect to,тАЭ said Sebastian gravely. тАЬMy Jewish instincts must be appeased somehow. YouтАЩre putting this thing over on me, JaneтБатАФdonтАЩt imagine that I donтАЩt know it!тАЭ