II
At the end of April Abbots Puissants was let. Vernon came to Nell in some excitement.
тАЬNell, will you marry me now? We could just manage. ItтАЩs a bad letтБатАФan awfully bad oneтБатАФbut I simply had to take it. You see, thereтАЩs been the mortgage interest to pay and all the expenses of the upkeep while itтАЩs been unlet. IтАЩve had to borrow for all that and now of course itтАЩs got to be paid back. WeтАЩll be pretty short for a year or two, but then it wonтАЩt be so bad.тБатАКтБатАжтАЭ
He talked on, explaining the financial details.
тАЬIтАЩve been into it all, Nell. I have really. Sensibly, I mean. We could afford a tiny flat and one maid and have a little left over to play with. Oh, Nell, you wouldnтАЩt mind being poor with me, would you? You said once I didnтАЩt know what it was to be poor, but you canтАЩt say that now. IтАЩve lived on frightfully little since I came to London, and I havenтАЩt minded a bit.тАЭ
No, Nell knew he hadnтАЩt. The fact was in some way a vague reproach to her. And yet, though she couldnтАЩt quite express it to herself, she felt that the two cases were not on a par. It made much more difference to womenтБатАФto be gay and pretty and admired and have a good timeтБатАФnone of those things affected men. They hadnтАЩt that everlasting problem of clothesтБатАФnobody minded if they were shabby.
But how explain these things to Vernon? One couldnтАЩt. He wasnтАЩt like George Chetwynd. George understood things like that.
тАЬNell.тАЭ
She sat there, irresolute, his arm round her. She had got to decide. Visions floated before her eyes. AmelieтБатАКтБатАж the hot little house, the wailing childrenтБатАКтБатАж George Chetwynd and his carтБатАКтБатАж a stuffy little flat, a dirty incompetent maidтБатАКтБатАж dancesтБатАКтБатАж clothesтБатАКтБатАж the money they owed dressmakersтБатАКтБатАж the rent of the London houseтБатАФunpaidтБатАКтБатАж herself at Ascot, smiling, chattering in a lovely model gownтБатАКтБатАж then, with a sudden revulsion she was back at Ranelagh on the bridge over the water with Vernon.тБатАКтБатАж
In almost the same voice as she had used that evening she said: тАЬI donтАЩt know. Oh! Vernon, I donтАЩt know.тАЭ
тАЬOh! Nell, darling, doтБатАКтБатАж do!тАЭ
She disengaged herself from him, got up.
тАЬPlease, VernonтБатАФI must thinkтБатАКтБатАж yes, think. IтБатАФI canтАЩt when IтАЩm with you.тАЭ
She wrote to him later that night:
Dearest Vernon:
Let us wait a little longerтБатАФsay six months. I donтАЩt feel I want to be married now. Besides, something might have happened about your opera then. You think IтАЩm afraid of being poor, but itтАЩs not quite that. IтАЩve seen peopleтБатАФpeople who loved each other, and they didnтАЩt any more because of all the bothers and worries. I feel that if we wait and are patient everything will come right. Oh! Vernon, I know it willтБатАФand then everything will be so lovely. If only we wait and have patienceтБатАКтБатАжтАЭ
Vernon was angry when he got this letter. He did not show the letter to Jane, but he broke out into sufficiently unguarded speech to let her see how the land lay. She said at once in her disconcerting fashion:
тАЬYou do think youтАЩre sufficient prize for any girl, donтАЩt you, Vernon?тАЭ
тАЬWhat do you mean?тАЭ
тАЬWell, do you think it will be awfully jolly for a girl who has danced and been to parties and had lots of fun and people admiring her to be stuck down in a poky hole with no more fun?тАЭ
тАЬWeтАЩd have each other.тАЭ
тАЬYou canтАЩt make love to her for twenty-four hours on end. Whilst youтАЩre working what is she to do?тАЭ
тАЬDonтАЩt you think a woman can be poor and happy?тАЭ
тАЬCertainly, given the necessary qualifications.тАЭ
тАЬWhich areтБатАФwhat? Love and trust?тАЭ
тАЬNo, you idiotic child. A sense of humour, a tough hide and the valuable quality of being sufficient unto oneself. You will insist on love in a cottage being a sentimental problem dependent on the amount of love concerned. ItтАЩs far more a problem of mental outlook. YouтАЩd be all right stuck down anywhereтБатАФBuckingham Palace or the SaharaтБатАФbecause youтАЩve got your mental preoccupationтБатАФmusic. But NellтАЩs dependent on extraneous circumstances. Marrying you will cut her off from all her friends.тАЭ
тАЬWhy should it?тАЭ
тАЬBecause itтАЩs the hardest thing in the world for people with different incomes to continue friends. TheyтАЩre not all doing the same thing naturally.тАЭ
тАЬYou always put me in the wrong,тАЭ said Vernon savagely. тАЬOr at any rate you try to.тАЭ
тАЬWell, it annoys me to see you put yourself on a pedestal and stand admiring yourself for nothing at all,тАЭ said Jane calmly. тАЬYou expect Nell to sacrifice her friends and life to you, but you wouldnтАЩt make your sacrifice for her.тАЭ
тАЬWhat sacrifice? IтАЩd do anything.тАЭ
тАЬExcept sell Abbots Puissants!тАЭ
тАЬYou donтАЩt understand.тАЭ
Jane looked at him gently.
тАЬPerhaps I do. Oh! yes, my dear, I do very well. But donтАЩt be noble. It always annoys me to see people being noble! LetтАЩs talk about The Princess in the Tower. I want you to show it to Radmaager.тАЭ
тАЬOh, itтАЩs so rotten. I couldnтАЩt. You know, I didnтАЩt realize myself, Jane, how rotten it was until I had finished it.тАЭ
тАЬNo,тАЭ said Jane. тАЬNobody ever does. FortunatelyтБатАФor nothing ever would be finished. Show it to Radmaager. What he says will be interesting, at all events.тАЭ
Vernon yielded rather grudgingly.
тАЬHeтАЩll think it such awful cheek.тАЭ
тАЬNo, he wonтАЩt. HeтАЩs a very high opinion of what Sebastian says, and Sebastian has always believed in you. Radmaager says that for so young a man, SebastianтАЩs judgment is amazing.тАЭ
тАЬGood old Sebastian! HeтАЩs wonderful,тАЭ said Vernon warmly. тАЬNearly everything heтАЩs done has been a success. Shekels are rolling in. God! how I envy him sometimes.тАЭ
тАЬYou neednтАЩt. HeтАЩs not such a very happy person, really.тАЭ
тАЬYou mean Joe? Oh, that will all come right.тАЭ
тАЬI wonder. Vernon, do you see much of Joe?тАЭ
тАЬA fair amount. Not as much as I used to. I canтАЩt stand that queer artistic set sheтАЩs drifted intoтБатАФtheir hairтАЩs all wrong and they look unwashed and they talk what seems to me the most arrant drivel. TheyтАЩre not a bit like your crowdтБатАФthe people who really do things.тАЭ
тАЬWeтАЩre what Sebastian would call the successful commercial propositions. All the same, IтАЩm worried about Joe. IтАЩm afraid sheтАЩs going to do something foolish.тАЭ
тАЬThat bounder La Marre, you mean?тАЭ
тАЬYes, I mean that bounder, La Marre. HeтАЩs clever with women, you know, Vernon. Some men are.тАЭ
тАЬYou think sheтАЩd go off with him or something? Of course Joe is a damned fool in some ways.тАЭ He looked curiously at Jane. тАЬBut I should have thought youтБатАФтАЭ
He stopped, suddenly crimson. Jane looked very faintly amused.
тАЬYou really neednтАЩt be embarrassed by my morals.тАЭ
тАЬI wasnтАЩt. I meanтБатАФIтАЩve always wonderedтБатАФoh! IтАЩve wondered such an awful lot.тБатАКтБатАжтАЭ
His voice died away. There was silence. Jane sat very upright. She did not look at Vernon. She looked straight ahead of her. Presently, in a quiet even voice, she began to speak. She spoke quite unemotionally and evenly, as though recounting something that had happened to someone else. It was a cold concise recital of horror, and to Vernon the most dreadful thing about it was her own detached calm. She spoke as a scientist might speak, impersonally.
He buried his face in his hands.
Jane brought her recital to an end. Her quiet voice ceased.
Vernon said in a low shuddering voice:
тАЬAnd you lived through that? IтБатАФI didnтАЩt know that such things were.тАЭ
Jane said calmly: тАЬHe was a Russian and a degenerate. ItтАЩs hard for an Anglo-Saxon to understand that peculiar refined lust of cruelty. You understand brutality. You donтАЩt understand anything else.тАЭ
Vernon said, feeling childish and awkward as he put the question: тАЬYouтБатАФyou loved him very much?тАЭ
She shook her head slowly, began to speak, and then stopped.
тАЬWhy dissect the past?тАЭ she said, after a minute or two. тАЬHe did some fine work. ThereтАЩs a thing of his in the South Kensington. ItтАЩs macabre, but itтАЩs good.тАЭ
Then she began once more to talk of The Princess in the Tower.
Vernon went to the South Kensington two days later. He found the solitary representation of Boris AndrovтАЩs work easily enough. A drowned womanтБатАФthe face was horrible, puffed, bloated, decomposed, but the body was beautifulтБатАКтБатАж a lovely body. Vernon knew instinctively that it was JaneтАЩs body.
He stood looking down on the bronze nude figure, with arms spread wide and long lank hair reaching out mournfullyтБатАКтБатАж
Such a beautiful bodyтБатАКтБатАж JaneтАЩs body. Androv had modelled that nude body from her.
For the first time for years a queer remembrance of the Beast came over him. He felt afraid.
He turned quickly away from the beautiful bronze figure and left the building hurriedly, almost running.